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It can be lonely.

Dmusic

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It's been 3 years i learned about TMF . I have this small group of best friends. We 4 people of besties. I have been advocating them about TMF philosophy since then. Lot's of MJ posts, sharing stories from this forums and books, sharing MJ social media posts, showing them the videos MJ created or other successful entrepreneurs.

You know what happen? nothing. They troll on my words. They pass comments. They have seen my success, my freedom and how i achieved because i was transparent with them and shared every little steps but they still don't change the mindset.

and believe me, they are very close friends of mine. Like 25 years of friendship.
This is how the world is. That's why MJ called it "SCRIPTED". They are willingly in that daldal(swamp).
So keep going. Show your path as you succeed then maybe few will follow you.

More power to you.
Thank you.
 
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Antifragile

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There is another perspective. You already know that most of us had similar push back and it felt lonely at the time. Yet even with that history, when someone asks me a question "should I quit my job and start a business", 99% of the time my answer is "no, you shouldn't".

Why?

Because for all the great things we know after we succeed, the road to success is anything but easy. Most people go into business because they want money and lifestyle that they see successful entrepreneurs enjoy, but they only see top of the iceberg. They often try a little something, a side hustle, fail and then complain "that guy got lucky in xxx, I tried it and it didn't work because timing had to be good, he was lucky". Most people are not willing to put in the work.

So again, why do I say "no" so often? Because to me it's a test. When a true entrepreneur hears my "no" it does not change a thing for him/her. This person will just look at me with a "F*ck this, I'll do it anyway" eyes and then politely go about their business.

Better yet, the 1% that don't ask me that question is who I really want to know and help! Those are the people who will change the world. They don't need anyone's opinion - they are just looking for help on the road they already picked. They are not being "rational", they are fighters.

Good luck and prepare for the roller coaster of highs and lows in business. Hope you like roller coasters.
 

Dmusic

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There is another perspective. You already know that most of us had similar push back and it felt lonely at the time. Yet even with that history, when someone asks me a question "should I quit my job and start a business", 99% of the time my answer is "no, you shouldn't".

Why?

Because for all the great things we know after we succeed, the road to success is anything but easy. Most people go into business because they want money and lifestyle that they see successful entrepreneurs enjoy, but they only see top of the iceberg. They often try a little something, a side hustle, fail and then complain "that guy got lucky in xxx, I tried it and it didn't work because timing had to be good, he was lucky". Most people are not willing to put in the work.

So again, why do I say "no" so often? Because to me it's a test. When a true entrepreneur hears my "no" it does not change a thing for him/her. This person will just look at me with a "f*ck this, I'll do it anyway" eyes and then politely go about their business.

Better yet, the 1% that don't ask me that question is who I really want to know and help! Those are the people who will change the world. They don't need anyone's opinion - they are just looking for help on the road they already picked. They are not being "rational", they are fighters.

Good luck and prepare for the roller coaster of highs and lows in business. Hope you like roller coasters.
It's a ride I'll love, and a ride worth taking, thank you.
 

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Slowlaners always aim low, settle for less, are lazy and put in the bare minimum, want the work done for them, always try to talk others out of doing anything, etc. Most of them are incredibly selfish too. You can see why they're broke. Their mindset ensures they will always have very little in life and live just barely surviving. Their mindset is literally the limit. Little do they know, their mindset is the difference between staying where they are or having mobility up the socioeconomic ladder.
And you expected more????
 
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Dmusic

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Yes I did see and read it.

Welcome to the lonesome road of entrepreneurship and enforcement of the Slowlane road.

Done is the only thing that can convert doubters.

Welcome my friend.
@MJ DeMarco Just finished reading about the "Done kills Doubt" Principle, didn't know I would be reading about it in your new book just days later...Thank you.
 

WJK

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There is another perspective. You already know that most of us had similar push back and it felt lonely at the time. Yet even with that history, when someone asks me a question "should I quit my job and start a business", 99% of the time my answer is "no, you shouldn't".

Why?

Because for all the great things we know after we succeed, the road to success is anything but easy. Most people go into business because they want money and lifestyle that they see successful entrepreneurs enjoy, but they only see top of the iceberg. They often try a little something, a side hustle, fail and then complain "that guy got lucky in xxx, I tried it and it didn't work because timing had to be good, he was lucky". Most people are not willing to put in the work.

So again, why do I say "no" so often? Because to me it's a test. When a true entrepreneur hears my "no" it does not change a thing for him/her. This person will just look at me with a "f*ck this, I'll do it anyway" eyes and then politely go about their business.

Better yet, the 1% that don't ask me that question is who I really want to know and help! Those are the people who will change the world. They don't need anyone's opinion - they are just looking for help on the road they already picked. They are not being "rational", they are fighters.

Good luck and prepare for the roller coaster of highs and lows in business. Hope you like roller coasters.
IF someone must ask the question, then no, they shouldn't do it. The operative word is "start". Successful people don't quit until they have things going to the point where they must quit doing one thing in order to continued doing everything else. The starting gate is way in the rear view mirror.
 

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Don't share things with people, even those closest to you, some of them are secretly your biggest haters.

Someone said the people you grew up with don't want to see you succeed, because if you outgrow them then they'll know you both started from the same spot, but you manage to grow while they remained put and they don't want that so they try to sabotage ya (some do it knowingly - otherwise just do it without actually knowing why they are doing it).

Keep shit to yourself.
 
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Primeperiwinkle

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I don’t know if this will be helpful but I NEED people. I’m an extroverted thinker so if it wasn’t for my people I’d go a bit insane. But like WJK says, I made circles.

My Facebook friends and even my close best friends don’t actually know how successful I am. There’s no point in me sharing that as they don’t care about entrepreneurial pursuits. They see pictures of my life but they assume what they want. Most ppl like assuming. It makes them happy. I don’t really care because I’m too busy just being happy that I have ppl to talk about raising kids, my random thrift store find, why the new Emma movie is gorgeous and how my diet is working out.

I never discuss the theology of Luther, Calvin, Wesley and why John Chrysostom is a great guy here on the Fastlane Forum because... you guys don’t care about that, it’s mostly against the rules and .. I have a completely different circle of friends for discussing philosophers. That’s ALL they talk about and it’s wonderful.

None of these circles popped up over night. I’ve tried different platforms, apps, messaging. I’ve invited ppl who never showed up, ghosted me, or joined but then failed at being in a group. I’ve also invited quite a few ppl into my life over the years only to realize that it just can’t work with our personalities. Most recently I had to kinda break up with a neighbor cuz the relationship was not good for us.

I highly recommend the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud.

It takes work. Recently I joined a really challenging group in a different language! I love people!

My energy skyrockets when I have people to encourage or learn from. I don’t like being alone with my own thoughts for more than a few weeks. I can go longer, it’s peaceful, but I like the hyper sugar happy feeling I get when I can have a deep convo and help someone.

The world is more connected now than it’s ever been. You don’t have to be alone.

If you can see a problem you can help solve it.
 

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To continue the analogy, the reason you are feeling alone is because there is only one seat at the head of the table, and that's your whole world. That seat sets you apart from the rest of the other people seated along the sides. And they will reject you if you try to join them. The others will tell you how smart you are and then have nothing to do with you unless they want something from you. I know that sounds harsh, but it's usually true.

It usually works like this -- this rejection can be seen when a one of their members breaks ranks by "besting" them. For example, he is promoted from being a guy on the line to being a supervisor. At that point, he is no longer welcome to drink beers with his old circle of pals. He is both ejected from their ranks and socially rejected. Some people at this point screw up the new job and return to their old pals. After telling him that they knew he'd never make the new job work, they welcome him back.

Others accept their new social situation and create a new circle of friends. Each level of accomplishment or different social situation requires a new circle of friends. That has been my experience over the years. At times, I have had my toe in several different worlds at the same time. I call it "creating spheres of influence". I collect different circles of friend for different aspects of my life. I move between those groups depending on what I'm doing that day. If you too can create some support circles, you too will feel less alone.
Beautiful words
 

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Don't share things with people, even those closest to you, some of them are secretly your biggest haters.

Someone said the people you grew up with don't want to see you succeed, because if you outgrow them then they'll know you both started from the same spot, but you manage to grow while they remained put and they don't want that so they try to sabotage ya (some do it knowingly - otherwise just do it without actually knowing why they are doing it).

Keep shit to yourself.
Real talk. It took me a while(mainly ignorance/not wanting to accept) to realize that even my own blood family doesn't want me to succeed. It's sad because they are people that I love.

As I start to grow, business and personal wise, I start to see that there is a lot of haters in the world. People that instead of congratulating you for your accomplishments and success, instead throw shade/negativity towards you.

"Hate always comes from beneath you, people never get jealous of losers" - Scooby Doo, I think.
 
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I don’t know if this will be helpful but I NEED people. I’m an extroverted thinker so if it wasn’t for my people I’d go a bit insane. But like WJK says, I made circles.

My Facebook friends and even my close best friends don’t actually know how successful I am. There’s no point in me sharing that as they don’t care about entrepreneurial pursuits. They see pictures of my life but they assume what they want. Most ppl like assuming. It makes them happy. I don’t really care because I’m too busy just being happy that I have ppl to talk about raising kids, my random thrift store find, why the new Emma movie is gorgeous and how my diet is working out.

I never discuss the theology of Luther, Calvin, Wesley and why John Chrysostom is a great guy here on the Fastlane Forum because... you guys don’t care about that, it’s mostly against the rules and .. I have a completely different circle of friends for discussing philosophers. That’s ALL they talk about and it’s wonderful.

None of these circles popped up over night. I’ve tried different platforms, apps, messaging. I’ve invited ppl who never showed up, ghosted me, or joined but then failed at being in a group. I’ve also invited quite a few ppl into my life over the years only to realize that it just can’t work with our personalities. Most recently I had to kinda break up with a neighbor cuz the relationship was not good for us.

I highly recommend the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud.

It takes work. Recently I joined a really challenging group in a different language! I love people!

My energy skyrockets when I have people to encourage or learn from. I don’t like being alone with my own thoughts for more than a few weeks. I can go longer, it’s peaceful, but I like the hyper sugar happy feeling I get when I can have a deep convo and help someone.

The world is more connected now than it’s ever been. You don’t have to be alone.

If you can see a problem you can help solve it.
I too spend a great deal of time and effort to blend in with the people around me. It makes my life easier. I dress down. I drive older vehicles. I live modestly. I sure don't talk about my successes, or what I own. They don't need to know all of that. Most of the time, we talk about them and what's going on with them. They know that I'm busy, but they don't know with what. If they bother to ask, I'm very vague. I don’t need their approval. And I’m very comfortable in my own skin.

People, in general, have a very limited scope of thinking and expertise. I'm like you. I like groups that are talking about my different interests.
And one of those is this forum -- to keep up with what everyone is doing and thinking about in business building.
I'm a people watcher. I like to see what they are thinking and where they are headed. It's keeps me up on the business and social trends.
 

Primeperiwinkle

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I too spend a great deal of time and effort to blend in with the people around me. It makes my life easier. I dress down. I drive older vehicles. I live modestly. I sure don't talk about my successes, or what I own. They don't need to know all of that. Most of the time, we talk about them and what's going on with them. They know that I'm busy, but they don't know with what. If they bother to ask, I'm very vague. I don’t need their approval. And I’m very comfortable in my own skin.

People, in general, have a very limited scope of thinking and expertise. I'm like you. I like groups that are talking about my different interests.
And one of those is this forum -- to keep up with what everyone is doing and thinking about in business building.
I'm a people watcher. I like to see what they are thinking and where they are headed. It's keeps me up on the business and social trends.
Yes, exactly!

I love ppl watching. I love hanging out with all the ppl!
 

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I was at a gathering recently with family that I haven't seen in something like 3 years. The last time we spoke I was selling cars and living at home.

Now, I work a fraction of the time any of my family works, all my cousins are still living at home and hoping to find good jobs with their degrees, and I make more money than all the aunts and uncles.

They asked about the scar on my ankle and I had to tell my India and Thailand travel stories. They asked what my girlfriend does for work and we laughed and said "cook, clean and serve mojitos".
Everyone was shocked to hear how their cousin/nephew/grandson was doing. When you trust your gut, take action, build for a couple years and finally 'succeed', everyone will forget about anything negative they ever said, and they'll all tell you how proud they are of you. It's just human nature.

It can be lonely. I remember hard times and having -$200 in my bank account and not knowing how I was going to get gas money. I remember being told all sorts of advice, and that I was delusional.

I love my family. I have no resentment towards them. I'm happy and I want them to be happy. But you must have the intestinal fortitude to tune them out. Don't listen to people you do not want to be like. Don't hate them either, just don't listen to them.

When you succeed, they'll all change their tune. Don't take it personally. Just stay in your lane and build thinking about the long-term game.
 
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Dmusic

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I was at a gathering recently with family that I haven't seen in something like 3 years. The last time we spoke I was selling cars and living at home.

Now, I work a fraction of the time any of my family works, all my cousins are still living at home and hoping to find good jobs with their degrees, and I make more money than all the aunts and uncles.

They asked about the scar on my ankle and I had to tell my India and Thailand travel stories. They asked what my girlfriend does for work and we laughed and said "cook, clean and serve mojitos".
Everyone was shocked to hear how their cousin/nephew/grandson was doing. When you trust your gut, take action, build for a couple years and finally 'succeed', everyone will forget about anything negative they ever said, and they'll all tell you how proud they are of you. It's just human nature.

It can be lonely. I remember hard times and having -$200 in my bank account and not knowing how I was going to get gas money. I remember being told all sorts of advice, and that I was delusional.

I love my family. I have no resentment towards them. I'm happy and I want them to be happy. But you must have the intestinal fortitude to tune them out. Don't listen to people you do not want to be like. Don't hate them either, just don't listen to them.

When you succeed, they'll all change their tune. Don't take it personally. Just stay in your lane and build thinking about the long-term game.
Thank you for sharing your story man, I appreciate it and hear you.
 

Mattie

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Today there was a little family get together, everyone talking about there jobs, and how they were going, and also asked me about the job I work at now. I explained why I have this job and my purpose, for gaining capital for my business start up. I've always been iffy about talking about my personals goals and thoughts on life like working the 9-5, but I have been reading much more and listening to pod cast, and I understand you have to be confident, in your goals and desires. So questions were being asked, nothing crazy just what my start up was, and why I was doing it. And that's where things went down hill. My why was basically everything MJ preaches about in his books, and well they didn't understand it, and dis agreed. So there I was sitting with my loved ones, pretty much being told everything I was doing was a waist of money and time, money I could have for my big "retirement" ya know the gold mine for the slow laners...401ks, savings, you get the point. After all that none of them told me anything positive about what I was working for in life, and it's whatever, I mean after being on this journey, I felt prepared for it. Didn't see it coming but was prepared. It can be a lonely road, but it'll be the best road. I just wanna thank MJ, I don't know if he will see this, but I feel as if he prepared me for this, and his books, and what he does is amazing. Definitely pushes me forward from this event and makes me better.
I think this is part of the process but I just learned this can come around twice the last 7 years and with one side starting that naysayer approach and then the other side that were the naysayers before now realizing I knew what I was doing and talking about, and now sharing the information from this forum with them to get going on Escaping the Rat Race.

More about becoming a leader, leading by example, and showing the way through your own sacrifices, hard work, dedication, devotion, and thinking about the whole group in the end. You'd be amazed how you can point the way at a later time to others who were resistant at first, but I'm still at the beginning of this new chapter so I can't tell you the outcome. I would just say trust yourself, do the work, and keep moving through the nay saying. Leaders are meant to be loners, because it's sort of like being in Military. If one player messes up the whole troop goes down. Leaders aren't meant to follow the crowd, do what everyone else is doing and have to master there emotional patterns, mental patterns, sexual patterns, and financial patterns. Other people do not do this, and then like now in natural disasters, Covid, Economic Crisis, and other events they don't know what to do. Someone has to point the way .

 

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Real talk. It took me a while(mainly ignorance/not wanting to accept) to realize that even my own blood family doesn't want me to succeed. It's sad because they are people that I love.

As I start to grow, business and personal wise, I start to see that there is a lot of haters in the world. People that instead of congratulating you for your accomplishments and success, instead throw shade/negativity towards you.

"Hate always comes from beneath you, people never get jealous of losers" - Scooby Doo, I think.

Scooby was a wise a$$ dog.
 
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You know what. Bookmark these dates. When u make it, just go do a round and meet your slow laner friends. No need to show off or anything. Just let them talk out their lives. It will remind you how far you’ve come.

As for dealing with the loneliness of the here and now, these forums help a lot :) you will see lots of like minded people.

PS: If you ever consider getting married, make sure your partner has the fast lane mindset. That’s a non negotiable
 

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You know what. Bookmark these dates. When u make it, just go do a round and meet your slow laner friends. No need to show off or anything. Just let them talk out their lives. It will remind you how far you’ve come.

As for dealing with the loneliness of the here and now, these forums help a lot :) you will see lots of like minded people.

PS: If you ever consider getting married, make sure your partner has the fast lane mindset. That’s a non negotiable
Thank you, and thank you for the tip.
 

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You know what. Bookmark these dates. When u make it, just go do a round and meet your slow laner friends. No need to show off or anything. Just let them talk out their lives. It will remind you how far you’ve come.

As for dealing with the loneliness of the here and now, these forums help a lot :) you will see lots of like minded people.

PS: If you ever consider getting married, make sure your partner has the fast lane mindset. That’s a non negotiable
You're right. I just listen to my tenant's problems and I feel much better. That especially works when they are handing over their monthly rent to me. My problems have a lot more zeros, take more work, and involve a lot less whining.

Your "PS" is particularly right. You must have a similar mindset with your mate in order to make it all work. If you're out working you a$$ off and your mate is spending it as fast as you can make it, you'll never pull off your dreams. Now, that's definitely worse than feeling lonely. That bring on feelings of being helpless, hopeless, and used.
 
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Is it weird that I haven't really come across this issue?

Read Rich Dad Poor Dad at 12.. joined this forum at 14 (under my parents account for the first two years) and was running random businesses from age 15 to 19. Eventually settled on Real Estate since then until now (I'm 23). Always been supported by my immediate family and haven't received any negative comments from extended family or friends. Maybe with friends its just that for as long as I have known most of them they know me as the entrepreneurial guy.. there was no before and after moment like so many people have there on this forum when they read the book and then eventually leave their 9-5 in their 20/30/40's.

Probably the only example I have of doubts is when I signed a contract with a local business that my parents happened to be friendly with. 8 months later it was going fantastic and my mother confided in me that she was extremely nervous in the beginning that I was taking on more than I could chew and the potential fallout in their circle if I flamed out and didn't deliver. This conversation was prompted from when she accidentally read my tax return.. haven't had any sort of weird questions since then LOL
 

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Is it weird that I haven't really come across this issue?

Read Rich Dad Poor Dad at 12.. joined this forum at 14 (under my parents account for the first two years) and was running random businesses from age 15 to 19. Eventually settled on Real Estate since then until now (I'm 23). Always been supported by my immediate family and haven't received any negative comments from extended family or friends. Maybe with friends its just that for as long as I have known most of them they know me as the entrepreneurial guy.. there was no before and after moment like so many people have there on this forum when they read the book and then eventually leave their 9-5 in their 20/30/40's.

Probably the only example I have of doubts is when I signed a contract with a local business that my parents happened to be friendly with. 8 months later it was going fantastic and my mother confided in me that she was extremely nervous in the beginning that I was taking on more than I could chew and the potential fallout in their circle if I flamed out and didn't deliver. This conversation was prompted from when she accidentally read my tax return.. haven't had any sort of weird questions since then LOL
It all depends on where you come from...
 

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Indeed, it is a losome path that noone understands your motivation behind what you are you doing, although I have not personally been where you are, with your sucessful entreprenuership and your family just not understanding your job path decision, I do know what it feels like to have someone not understand your unique perspective/decision making thing. Trust me though, whatever thought process, there is a group of people thaat thinks like you
 
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Today there was a little family get together, everyone talking about there jobs, and how they were going, and also asked me about the job I work at now. I explained why I have this job and my purpose, for gaining capital for my business start up. I've always been iffy about talking about my personals goals and thoughts on life like working the 9-5, but I have been reading much more and listening to pod cast, and I understand you have to be confident, in your goals and desires. So questions were being asked, nothing crazy just what my start up was, and why I was doing it. And that's where things went down hill. My why was basically everything MJ preaches about in his books, and well they didn't understand it, and dis agreed. So there I was sitting with my loved ones, pretty much being told everything I was doing was a waist of money and time, money I could have for my big "retirement" ya know the gold mine for the slow laners...401ks, savings, you get the point. After all that none of them told me anything positive about what I was working for in life, and it's whatever, I mean after being on this journey, I felt prepared for it. Didn't see it coming but was prepared. It can be a lonely road, but it'll be the best road. I just wanna thank MJ, I don't know if he will see this, but I feel as if he prepared me for this, and his books, and what he does is amazing. Definitely pushes me forward from this event and makes me better.
Well the way I see it is business people or founder are in the business of embracing uncertainty, which very few people in world
do.

Your family and friends want to see things happen before they commit to believe it. That is how most of the people operate on their logical framework.

Your future employee won’t care about your dream either. They are there for their paychecks. When you sell to your customers your customers want to see the value before they willing to commit their dollars.

Your investor if any will not commit their dollar just on a vision either. They want to see key kpi growth metrics and ask you tough questions.

The only people who will have the leap of faith is you. Highest Risk (no one willing to commit) and hence highest reward. If everyone demands strong evidence before commitment then no great business will be born.

It is really a good insight for business people on their marketing sequence, how to create incremental result and convince more crowd.
 

Dmusic

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Well the way I see it is business people or founder are in the business of embracing uncertainty, which very few people in world
do.

Your family and friends want to see things happen before they commit to believe it. That is how most of the people operate on their logical framework.

Your future employee won’t care about your dream either. They are there for their paychecks. When you sell to your customers your customers want to see the value before they willing to commit their dollars.

Your investor if any will not commit their dollar just on a vision either. They want to see key kpi growth metrics and ask you tough questions.

The only people who will have the leap of faith is you. Highest Risk (no one willing to commit) and hence highest reward. If everyone demands strong evidence before commitment then no great business will be born.

It is really a good insight for business people on their marketing sequence, how to create incremental result and convince more crowd.
Exactly right thank you
 

MJ DeMarco

I followed the science; all I found was money.
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@MJ DeMarco Just finished reading about the "Done kills Doubt" Principle, didn't know I would be reading about it in your new book just days later...Thank you.

Ha Ha, yes the principle is true most of the time. No one cares, no one believes you, and no one will support you.

If what other people think is important, then "done" must kill "doubt."
 
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