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Dressing For Success... Stop looking like a fool.

Topics relating to managing people and relationships

tunderenner

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I really can't understand all this pain around wearing a suit and tie.
Maybe I'm Italian and this concept of being dressed in gym clothing everyday is a bit foreign to me, but seriously, dressing sharp isn't such a torture, plus, if done correctly, isn't that expensive either...

Can someone explain why it's so hard to wear a tie to a meeting? it's business, not the bar down the beach
@NanoDrake...Thank you.
 
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tunderenner

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I heard exactly this in a conversation the other day with the person I want to have on my team for web sales. In a high-end retail environment, all the other sales reps immediately went to the people who "dressed rich" and ignored the others. She immediately went to help the customers who were not getting any help from the snobs on staff, and outsold all of them. Her only assumption was that if someone came into the store, she'd give her best attention, empathy, and product guidance she possibly could. She decided to not make any assumptions about the customer's budget, but to listen and ask if needed.

I agree with Kak that dressing like you're the person in charge, whose opinion matters, who can afford the best, will often get you the best service from service providers. And I agree with ChrisR that this means a big profit opportunity for service providers who don't run their businesses based on prejudicial assumptions.
@LATEBLOOMER..Well said. Unfortunately, perception is real.after all, Isn’t it the perceived value in a particular brand that makes us pay for it?
 

tunderenner

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I don't know. I feel like focusing on how you look takes away too much time from the important stuff. Just put on a simple t shirt and a pair of shorts and get out the door and get to WORK.
T-shirt is cool. But where do you work? Where you work would determine how you dress. How many people do you see wear a T-shirt at the US Congress, the major financial institutions like Morgan Stanley, et al? However, you’ll find guys working at Apple, Facebook, Google, clad in T-shirts. Your work environment is key in how you dress.
 

advantagecp

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@GPM... The solution is to invest in good leather shoes. Breathability, another name for ‘wicking’, is one of the special properties of leather. Wicking is a process where moist is expelled out of the shoe in the form of vapour. You should also invest in good cotton socks. They help absorb moisture. For the funk, get oddballs. And don’t wear the same shoe two days straight. They need at least 24 hours to air out.
And get wooden shoe trees, typically cedar with no finish on the wood. Shoes need to be on the trees as they dry in order to keep their proper shape. If they are not on your feet then they should be in the shoe trees. Two pairs of dress shoes is the minimum if you wear dress shoes every day.

Someone posted asking about the credibility of people who are giving style advice. I have been straightforward in that my 'advice' comes mostly from Dressing the Man - Flusser and New Dress For Success - Molloy.

I'm not advising anyone to dress like I do. But FWIW, if you have bought an item of new Brooks Brothers clothing on ebay in the last few years then there is about a 95% chance that you are a customer of mine.
 
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tunderenner

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And get wooden shoe trees, typically cedar with no finish on the wood. Shoes need to be on the trees as they dry in order to keep their proper shape. If they are not on your feet then they should be in the shoe trees. Two pairs of dress shoes is the minimum if you wear dress shoes every day.

Someone posted asking about the credibility of people who are giving style advice. I have been straightforward in that my 'advice' comes mostly from Dressing the Man - Flusser and New Dress For Success - Molloy.

I'm not advising anyone to dress like I do. But FWIW, if you have bought an item of new Brooks Brothers clothing on ebay in the last few years then there is about a 95% chance that you are a customer of mine.
@advantagecp...Very correct! Apart from absorbing moisture from the inside of your shoe, they also help the shoe retain its original shape for as you have them.
 

tunderenner

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Do you know about the canvassing of a jacket?

I have one "fully canvassed" suit and two "fully canvassed" sport coats. They are certainly nice, and supposed to be MUCH better than "fused" Chinese made stuff. Clearly they look nicer, but I don't see a huge difference. Thoughts?
@Kak...With time, the difference shows. For the fully canvassed sport coat, the canvas is hand-stitched, as opposed to the fused interlining, which are glued with hot iron or fusing machine. The fully canvassed sport coat is like a man doing a marathon race, while the fused version is a sprinter. What this means is that, as you wash the jackets repeatedly, the glue on the fused jacket comes undone (resulting in the bubbles you find on some jackets). But for the fully canvassed jacket, that never happens. That said, there have been some advancements in the fusing process that makes the jackets last longer without bubbling.
 
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tunderenner

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Women are attracted to safety, that's what they're really after and the man who can make them feel most safe gets their attention.

You should read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomasi, it's a great book which really tells you what you need to know about women, there is no more mystery after that reading that book.
@Ayanle Farah...Please, don’t forget that you don’t wear ‘safety’ on your body, you wear clothes. Women are attracted to well groomed and neatly dressed men, not slobs. It is only when she gets to know you better that she would be able to provide financial security (safety).
 

tunderenner

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You need to act like a leader not look. The world is already packed with pretenders
@raad182...Don’t act like a leader. Be a leader! I don’t really understand why guys are going on like it’s a bad thing o look good. It’s rather very pleasing to the eyes when you see someone that’s well dressed and groomed. Being well dressed and groomed doesn’t necessarily mean you should wear a suit. When the occasion calls for it, by all means do wear one!
 
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tunderenner

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Great thread, @Kak ! Any tips for us living in a hot climate like Arizona? I don't mind the heat here, but I do feel like it limits my options to how I can dress. Not always practical to go out looking nice in a suit. I guess different textiles and materials could make a big difference.
@Eskil...I live in Nigeria, and it’s hot all year round. I wear suits sometimes, but I make sure that the jackets are deconstructed. This means that the jackets are devoid of linings or pads. They are very light and easy to wear. They work well with dress shirts, polos and T-shirts. Below is what a deconstructed jacket looks like. And like @Kak mentioned, Lenin, and cotton are excellent fabrics, because they breathe.1609403121464.png
 

tunderenner

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Why are you guys cutting your own hair?

Find a stylist with good reviews. Spend the $50 on an "overpriced haircut". Get it done right.

Hair is the easiest way to change your appearance for the better:

before-after-men-haircut-transformations-231-59dcc9c576c01__700.jpg


before-after-men-haircut-transformations-223-59dcb4647bb14__700.jpg


a6cc54d2261b64674edacd83e3a9a1ee.jpg


before-after-men-haircut-transformations-122-59e0585fa4889__700.jpg


59e0d04946b86-before-after-men-haircut-transformations-241-59de25f83a7bc__700.jpg


79799181422befae4ffab915e1ae7514.png



These are just some random pictures I took off of Google Images.

Haircuts are a fraction of the cost of clothing per year and improve your appearance drastically. You can choose exactly the perception that you want to give off and all it costs is an hour and a little bit of money.
Thank you!
 
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tunderenner

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Great great Thing to mention, I have been thinking about this more and more recently. Im convinced that I need to improve this part of my life in order to get to the next level.

Can anyone recommend any youtube channels or blogs that tackle improving looks/style for a man?
@Kak Thoughts on dress for zoom calls?

I had jacket + dress shirt for a call last week and the high-level people I was talking to were at home in athleisure.

I’ll continue to err on the side of too formal, but curious to know what you think
Don’t be fooled, they probably were impressed. Remember, when in doubt, overdress. You can always give an excuse that you have somewhere to go to after the meeting.
 

tunderenner

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It has come to my attention that few people give this enough thought.

A common theme of my posts is thinking big and leadership. Both of these REQUIRE interaction with other people. Sure you can build some onepreneur super outsourced company and make good money... But the VAST majority of the extremely wealthy got that way by making strategic deals, establishing influence and leading others.

Which brings me to LOOKING THE PART. It's popular, and often considered a badge of honor, in entrepreneurial circles to not own a suit, to almost intentionally dress like shit and not give a f*ck. To that, I ask, why? To what end?

I have learned how to dress properly when interacting with influential politicians and high-level C suite executives of very large companies. I have learned how to dress properly when I have to approach the lower offices with hourly workers. From formal meetings to business lunches, I have done it all. To say looking professional in every single interaction pertaining to your business is important would be an understatement.

Now, I'm no expert, but I am observant and have years of experience meeting people in person. There is no excuse not to look your best and present like someone who can back up the talk. It also doesn't have to be expensive.

Ask me anything.
@Kak...This is from my page (Sartorial Digest) on Facebook

1609446328987.png
PICTURE PERFECT!
If you think looking good doesn't affect the way people respond to you, well, here's proof that it does..."For If a person comes into your congregation whose hands are adorned with gold rings and who is wearing splendid apparel; and also a poor [man] in shabby clothes come in, and you pay special attention to the one who wears the splendid clothes and say to him, sit here in this preferable seat! While you tell the poor [man], stand there! Or, sit there on the floor at my feet! Are you not discriminating among your own and becoming critics and judges with wrong motives? James 2:2-4 (Amp). *Image courtesy of Google search.
 

tunderenner

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Then take the next step and have an experienced tailor alter the suit to fit you perfectly. Once you reach at least adequate on the quality scale, and these JAB suits reach that, remember the cardinal rule of dressing well (applies especially to suits) : Fit trumps quality.

The vast majority of men take an off the rack suit and have no adjustments made to make it fit. This leads to a generally sloppy look, often baggy, with a concentric ridge behind the collar, sleeves too long... The list goes on.

The fact is that if you buy one of these decent JAB suits and have it tailored to fit, you will look far better than the guy with a poorly-fitting $4000 Kiton suit.
@advantagecp...Very well said!
 
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tunderenner

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It's almost universal. The wearer either doesn't know what the sleeve length should be or says "close enough". It's not close enough. It's probably way too long. There is a reason that the sleeve buttons for most good-quality suits come in a plastic bag which is in an inside suit jacket pocket.
It’s also very important that you know your body type - slim/tall body, regular body, and short/round body - before you go out to shop for clothes. This knowledge will help you decide on colors, patterns, and features - cuffed or hemmed pants, belt loops, pleats or flat front pants; pockets, and lapels on jackets, etc., you should buy.
 

tunderenner

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@advantagecp...Very correct! Apart from absorbing moisture from the inside of your shoe, they also help the shoe retain its original shape for as you have them.
Below is a post on my Facebook page (Sartorial Digest) on how to care for your shoes

For The Love Of Shoes
1609462290958.png
*The difference between a shoe that regularly uses a shoe tree, and one that doesn’t.

Shoes are the foundations of every gentleman’s wardrobe. They are solid investments that should, with proper care, last you a lifetime. Junior could even inherit it when he comes of age.

Your shoes, I presume, cost a fortune. So it’s only logical to expect that you would take good care of them. I mean, why spend so much money on that quality dress shoe, and then let it go to ruin?

This is where the shoe tree comes to the rescue. But before I proceed, I would assume that you have more than just one pair of quality shoes in your wardrobe. It’s not advisable to wear the same pair of shoes two days in a row. You should alternate them.This gives the shoes ample time to dry (at least 24 hours) before the next wear. This is because, when you wear shoes, your feet sweat. The sweat is absorbed by the leather and lining of your shoe. Smelly feet, cracked shoe and a gradual degradation of the lining are the resultant effects. And with time, the shoe will start taking the shape of your feet. The shoe tree helps your shoe dry faster and maintain its original shape.

What you need is a quality shoe tree made of natural wood, preferably cedar. Don’t invest in shoe trees with varnish or lacquer finishing. A plain word finishing better absorb moisture from your shoe.

The Real McCoy
1609462432613.png
The lasted shoe tree is the Creme-de-la-creme of shoe trees. This is because they are made entirely from stock cedar wood, which does an excellent job in absorbing moisture from you shoes. It also prevents them from warping, as well as, maintaining the original shape of the shoe. This version will set you back about $250. But come to think of it, if your shoes cost about $800-$2000, it would make a lot of economic sense to shell out that much to make sure they go the distance.

Cheaper versions
1609462464806.png
There are cheaper options. These, unlike the real McCoy, do not have full wooden heels. Rather, they have a piece of wood fitted to a metal that helps to stretch out the shoes, but won’t give you the same result. Good for quick fixes.

The devil’s Alternative
1609462493795.png
There are also plastic versions that come in very attractive glossy colours. But truth be told, these ones won’t do any good for your shoes because plastic does not absorb moisture, and also, not sturdy enough to stretch your shoes. These come in handy when you go on those short business trips because, they can fold easily into your travel bag without taking up extra space. But once you get back, slip the ‘real deal’ into your shoe.
 

Ocean Man

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Which brings me to LOOKING THE PART. It's popular, and often considered a badge of honor, in entrepreneurial circles to not own a suit, to almost intentionally dress like shit and not give a f*ck. To that, I ask, why? To what end?
@Kak, but they're almost certainly the next Mark Zuckerberg!?
 
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simplymoto

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Dress code also depends which industry you are in? In tech it is acceptable, sometimes encouraged, to go casual. It’s about dressing smart and clean more than dressing expensive in our industry, and if u have suit and tie it might even backfire sometimes...just saying from a tech guy
 

Walter Hay

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I started my serious business life with some big disadvantages. Being short and skinny due to a gene mutation that has plagued my life meant that I would never present an impressive appearance.

Despite that I always dressed conservatively because I believed that it was necessary in the world of face to face selling.

I desperately needed the first sale in my first business so that my children would not go hungry. I think many who have commented in this thread would think I was an idiot to wear a suit to a very dirty factory to demonstrate my product in production.

I arrived dressed in suit, white shirt, tie, and polished shoes, while carrying a day's supply of the chemical that I wanted to demonstrate. Nobody commented, but having previously arranged the visit with the factory manager I got to work.

I removed suit coat and tie, rolled up my sleeves and became one of the workers. I knew this was the filthiest, most primitive factory in the industry, but I was confident that with my tactics and a good product I could swing the deal.

Working all day in those conditions, I ruined a good shirt. I shared the dirty lunch room with the sweaty workers and they quickly saw me as one of them. I had dressed down to suit that environment, simply by rolling up my sleeves and removing my tie. If I had arrived in work clothes the effect would not have been so profound.

The result was that I made the sale that paid our bills and fed us for a month. Repeat orders continued for years. I never had to repeat that performance because all the other factories I visited had much more civilized conditions, but I wore a suit and tie to every one of them, because I was dealing with the usual type of executives unlike the manager at that first factory.

Walter
 

tunderenner

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I started my serious business life with some big disadvantages. Being short and skinny due to a gene mutation that has plagued my life meant that I would never present an impressive appearance.

Despite that I always dressed conservatively because I believed that it was necessary in the world of face to face selling.

I desperately needed the first sale in my first business so that my children would not go hungry. I think many who have commented in this thread would think I was an idiot to wear a suit to a very dirty factory to demonstrate my product in production.

I arrived dressed in suit, white shirt, tie, and polished shoes, while carrying a day's supply of the chemical that I wanted to demonstrate. Nobody commented, but having previously arranged the visit with the factory manager I got to work.

I removed suit coat and tie, rolled up my sleeves and became one of the workers. I knew this was the filthiest, most primitive factory in the industry, but I was confident that with my tactics and a good product I could swing the deal.

Working all day in those conditions, I ruined a good shirt. I shared the dirty lunch room with the sweaty workers and they quickly saw me as one of them. I had dressed down to suit that environment, simply by rolling up my sleeves and removing my tie. If I had arrived in work clothes the effect would not have been so profound.

The result was that I made the sale that paid our bills and fed us for a month. Repeat orders continued for years. I never had to repeat that performance because all the other factories I visited had much more civilized conditions, but I wore a suit and tie to every one of them, because I was dealing with the usual type of executives unlike the manager at that first factory.

Walter
Thank you!
 
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Kal-El1998

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I think the only people that need to dress stupid are those influencers who need to stand out for views. Everyday big money walks by you all the time and you'd never know.
 

Kak

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DuPont Hazmat is the new Brooks Brothers. That is all. :rofl:
 

valérian

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Grind dans mon bureau
It has come to my attention that few people give this enough thought.

A common theme of my posts is thinking big and leadership. Both of these REQUIRE interaction with other people. Sure you can build some onepreneur super outsourced company and make good money... But the VAST majority of the extremely wealthy got that way by making strategic deals, establishing influence and leading others.

Which brings me to LOOKING THE PART. It's popular, and often considered a badge of honor, in entrepreneurial circles to not own a suit, to almost intentionally dress like shit and not give a f*ck. To that, I ask, why? To what end?

I have learned how to dress properly when interacting with influential politicians and high-level C suite executives of very large companies. I have learned how to dress properly when I have to approach the lower offices with hourly workers. From formal meetings to business lunches, I have done it all. To say looking professional in every single interaction pertaining to your business is important would be an understatement.

Now, I'm no expert, but I am observant and have years of experience meeting people in person. There is no excuse not to look your best and present like someone who can back up the talk. It also doesn't have to be expensive.

Ask me anything.
I love that! I always think about it .. I'm 16 and the only one in my school wearing a costume because it helps me with my social anxiety, and damn, I love these types of clothes! And you never know when you're going to meet an important person, even on the street or whatever.

For me, always being well dressed is important. The same if I work in front of my computer I'm wearing my costume, it motivates me.
Damn love it! I am always thinking about it.. I am 16 and the only one of my school with a suit because i it help me with my social anxity, and F*ck, i love those types of clothes ! And we never know when we are going to meet a important person, same in the street or whatever.

For me, be always good-dressed is important. Same if I work in front of my computer i am with my suit, it motivate me.
A photo of one of my suit that i took to see what it looked lolWIN_20210226_19_53_49_Pro.jpg
 
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Ocean Man

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Brooks Brothers is having a Father's Day sale. I'm picking up several dress shirts, but I'm having a difficult time choosing the color of tie I should wear for a light blue or white dress shirt. I already picked out one navy tie with white polka dots. Any suggestions on tie colors and patterns with the following shirts:
1624226191067.png
1624226209954.png1624226227243.png
1624226248846.png
 

Ronak

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I like blues and reds, they go with everything.
 

Ocean Man

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Purchased the following:
1624227794566.png
To all the fathers out there, Happy Father's Day!
 
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simplymoto

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I think the only people that need to dress stupid are those influencers who need to stand out for views. Everyday big money walks by you all the time and you'd never know.

In tech and IT, people with tie and suits are frown upon. It is somewhat being labeled as a loser - no offence.

The folks that is killing it there are extremely casual.
 

Ocean Man

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In tech and IT, people with tie and suits are frown upon. It is somewhat being labeled as a loser - no offence.

The folks that is killing it there are extremely casual.
Depends on who you’re dealing with. As a developer, you won’t see us really wearing anything more than business casual or just casual. But the higher up the ladder you go towards the decision makers, executives, etc… they are typically more dressed.

The point is to not underdress for the occasion. If everyone is wearing suits, you don’t wear jeans. If everyone is wearing jeans, you typically don’t wear a three piece suit.
 

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