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I am betrayed and want to kill myself

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SpongeGod

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Hey fastlaners. In my second year of college wanted to kill myself. Fortunately my friend convinced me to come down and attend therapy sessions. After some I attended so therapy session and it sounded like my parents were ok with it. However when I went back to my college. My college is ranked seriously high. Well it was until flunked out. I had to sign a document from the school that I could not enter the campus. Instead of going back home, I went straight to my friend's house. He was the guy who convinced me to come down from the building I was on. The next the police arrested me for trespassing. My dad spent $2,000 to hire a lawyer to expunge my criminal record. After my record was cleared, I contacted the Dean of Student Affairs, and they told me that they will not be able to return to my college. I felt like shit. What was all my hard work in high school for. I was going to have transfer to public city college. I was so depressed. But, after a few months, I got over it and decided to finish my degree in 3 years.

But today I was betrayed. My parents told all their bengali friends that I
1) Flunked out of great university (This doesn't really bother my, they should have told the truth from the beginning)
2) Have mental illnesses and had to attend therapy

They told their friends at a party. Then the friends talked shit about me, making jokes about mental health and claiming that I would amount to nothing. They called me a vegetable. They said was weak. They compared me to their own children boasting about amazing they were and how, I in contrast, was a loser. I feel like I lost all my trust in my parents. I am absolutely ashamed of myself and now loath Bengali people (including myself).

I just want to end it, man. I have no support, no one. No friends, no family. It is just me and right now, it feels like I am never going to live a good life. Can you all help me figure out what I should?

I'm the process of going through The Odin Project, so I can learn how to program and perhaps make my own app.
 
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EnvisionEd

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Hey fastlaners. In my second year of college wanted to kill myself. Fortunately my friend convinced me to come down and attend therapy sessions. After some I attended so therapy session and it sounded like my parents were ok with it. However when I went back to my college. My college is ranked seriously high. Well it was until flunked out. I had to sign a document from the school that I could not enter the campus. Instead of going back home, I went straight to my friend's house. He was the guy who convinced me to come down from the building I was on. The next the police arrested me for trespassing. My dad spent $2,000 to hire a lawyer to expunge my criminal record. After my record was cleared, I contacted the Dean of Student Affairs, and they told me that they will not be able to return to my college. I felt like shit. What was all my hard work in high school for. I was going to have transfer to public city college. I was so depressed. But, after a few months, I got over it and decided to finish my degree in 3 years.

But today I was betrayed. My parents told all their bengali friends that I
1) Flunked out of great university (This doesn't really bother my, they should have told the truth from the beginning)
2) Have mental illnesses and had to attend therapy

They told their friends at a party. Then the friends talked shit about me, making jokes about mental health and claiming that I would amount to nothing. They called me a vegetable. They said was weak. They compared me to their own children boasting about amazing they were and how, I in contrast, was a loser. I feel like I lost all my trust in my parents. I am absolutely ashamed of myself and now loath Bengali people (including myself).

I just want to end it, man. I have no support, no one. No friends, no family. It is just me and right now, it feels like I am never going to live a good life. Can you all help me figure out what I should?

I'm the process of going through The Odin Project, so I can learn how to program and perhaps make my own app.
Hang in there man...you have way more to look forward to (whether you think so or not) and you will come out of this stronger and better for it. You have a plan and the rest will fall in line in time...don't give up and don't assume that life will never be better because it can and will be. You matter.
 

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Hey fastlaners. In my second year of college wanted to kill myself. Fortunately my friend convinced me to come down and attend therapy sessions. After some I attended so therapy session and it sounded like my parents were ok with it. However when I went back to my college. My college is ranked seriously high. Well it was until flunked out. I had to sign a document from the school that I could not enter the campus. Instead of going back home, I went straight to my friend's house. He was the guy who convinced me to come down from the building I was on. The next the police arrested me for trespassing. My dad spent $2,000 to hire a lawyer to expunge my criminal record. After my record was cleared, I contacted the Dean of Student Affairs, and they told me that they will not be able to return to my college. I felt like shit. What was all my hard work in high school for. I was going to have transfer to public city college. I was so depressed. But, after a few months, I got over it and decided to finish my degree in 3 years.

But today I was betrayed. My parents told all their bengali friends that I
1) Flunked out of great university (This doesn't really bother my, they should have told the truth from the beginning)
2) Have mental illnesses and had to attend therapy

They told their friends at a party. Then the friends talked shit about me, making jokes about mental health and claiming that I would amount to nothing. They called me a vegetable. They said was weak. They compared me to their own children boasting about amazing they were and how, I in contrast, was a loser. I feel like I lost all my trust in my parents. I am absolutely ashamed of myself and now loath Bengali people (including myself).

I just want to end it, man. I have no support, no one. No friends, no family. It is just me and right now, it feels like I am never going to live a good life. Can you all help me figure out what I should?

I'm the process of going through The Odin Project, so I can learn how to program and perhaps make my own app.

I'm sorry these things happened. I know what it is like to have family and family friends laugh at you or not believe in you. It used to really affect me, until I realized I didn't believe in me either. Then I got angry. I carried my anger for many years like a weapon, like fuel, to propel me through the walls that stood in my way. I knew I would live a better life.

And I have. Along the way I had to start over a couple of times.

It may not seem like it now, but it does get better. Or maybe it is more accurate to say you will get better.

Take this moment to start a better path. No one can give you your path, but you can seek it, find it, live it. Be determined that tomorrow is a new day and just give your best to that day.

Find ways to help people. Make an impact.

And someday you'll lay your anguish and anger down too. That will be a good day, my friend.

I hope this helps.
 

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Hey fastlaners. In my second year of college wanted to kill myself. Fortunately my friend convinced me to come down and attend therapy sessions. After some I attended so therapy session and it sounded like my parents were ok with it. However when I went back to my college. My college is ranked seriously high. Well it was until flunked out. I had to sign a document from the school that I could not enter the campus. Instead of going back home, I went straight to my friend's house. He was the guy who convinced me to come down from the building I was on. The next the police arrested me for trespassing. My dad spent $2,000 to hire a lawyer to expunge my criminal record. After my record was cleared, I contacted the Dean of Student Affairs, and they told me that they will not be able to return to my college. I felt like shit. What was all my hard work in high school for. I was going to have transfer to public city college. I was so depressed. But, after a few months, I got over it and decided to finish my degree in 3 years.

But today I was betrayed. My parents told all their bengali friends that I
1) Flunked out of great university (This doesn't really bother my, they should have told the truth from the beginning)
2) Have mental illnesses and had to attend therapy

They told their friends at a party. Then the friends talked shit about me, making jokes about mental health and claiming that I would amount to nothing. They called me a vegetable. They said was weak. They compared me to their own children boasting about amazing they were and how, I in contrast, was a loser. I feel like I lost all my trust in my parents. I am absolutely ashamed of myself and now loath Bengali people (including myself).

I just want to end it, man. I have no support, no one. No friends, no family. It is just me and right now, it feels like I am never going to live a good life. Can you all help me figure out what I should?

I'm the process of going through The Odin Project, so I can learn how to program and perhaps make my own app.

I'm not trying to stereotype, but from what you say, it sounds to me like there is a real need for a better understanding of mental health issues among Bengali people. As someone with ties to Bengali culture who has experienced mental health struggles, you are the perfect person to be able to lead the way. Perhaps your app will be one in the mental health space.

I wish you well!
 
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MTEE1985

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Hey fastlaners. In my second year of college wanted to kill myself. Fortunately my friend convinced me to come down and attend therapy sessions. After some I attended so therapy session and it sounded like my parents were ok with it. However when I went back to my college. My college is ranked seriously high. Well it was until flunked out. I had to sign a document from the school that I could not enter the campus. Instead of going back home, I went straight to my friend's house. He was the guy who convinced me to come down from the building I was on. The next the police arrested me for trespassing. My dad spent $2,000 to hire a lawyer to expunge my criminal record. After my record was cleared, I contacted the Dean of Student Affairs, and they told me that they will not be able to return to my college. I felt like shit. What was all my hard work in high school for. I was going to have transfer to public city college. I was so depressed. But, after a few months, I got over it and decided to finish my degree in 3 years.

But today I was betrayed. My parents told all their bengali friends that I
1) Flunked out of great university (This doesn't really bother my, they should have told the truth from the beginning)
2) Have mental illnesses and had to attend therapy

They told their friends at a party. Then the friends talked shit about me, making jokes about mental health and claiming that I would amount to nothing. They called me a vegetable. They said was weak. They compared me to their own children boasting about amazing they were and how, I in contrast, was a loser. I feel like I lost all my trust in my parents. I am absolutely ashamed of myself and now loath Bengali people (including myself).

I just want to end it, man. I have no support, no one. No friends, no family. It is just me and right now, it feels like I am never going to live a good life. Can you all help me figure out what I should?

I'm the process of going through The Odin Project, so I can learn how to program and perhaps make my own app.

First off, you have 51,000 friends right here.

What are you working towards? Are you enjoying college? Do you just want to get a job?

I’ve been there man. Some seriously troubling times and the things that always got me through was a goal to work toward. Something that excited me enough to keep going each and every day until things got better.

In the meantime, continue the therapy. Go on medication for a while if you need to and don’t let the stigma of mental health or what others think get in your way. We are all here for you.
 

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It sounds like you are going through some tough times.

I know that many of the people on this forum have had tough times too. I haven't spoken to my mother in almost 20 years. She is alive and well but she chose a toxic lifestyle that I couldn't support. Many in my family suffer from depression. If you are depressed don't ignore it because you are ashamed. Instead take an active role in managing it.

You have already made some great decisions. You worked through your initial challenges and you chose to return to school. Keep working toward YOUR goals and you can accomplish them.

It's important to drown out the voices of negativity. Most people only get average results because is what society expects of people. The stories we tell ourselves are important. Keep telling yourself that you can accomplish your goals.

IF you choose to listen to the negative voices of others it will only serve as a shackle holding you back and slowing you down. Keep your focus on YOUR goals. Tell yourself you CAN achieve your goals. You CAN do it.
-Conscripted.
 

raden1

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From what I here the Indian education system is brutal.

You might want to look up and see if there is an Isha yoga program near you that you can attend since it's based in India. When you go through a certain one of their programs you can volunteer with them for however long you'd like.

It could give you a break from being around the toxic people that surround you. It's probable if you can just get away from your family/their friends for a bit you'll feel a lot better.


*Edited
 
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Matt Sun

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You got to find love for yourself. And it must come from inside of you.
 

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A_Random_Guy

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I am a Bengali too. In my first year of college. Got a year lag, had poor attendance due to depression. Parents abused me, dad kept beating me, mom threw clothes at me telling me to tie it against a ceiling and hang myself. Relatives came only to insult me. Being called a lunatic is common. My dad stopped giving me money. I get like 200Rs. (3$) per 2 weeks, to buy notebooks, pens etc. and that's it.

They are in a 3rd world country with no knowledge about 1st world problems, don't know shit about the current problems of teenagers, don't care to learn, but are the first to throw their opinion on my face. They think depression is a joke, and my father abused me for days. I get food two times a day: at 1pm and 8pm. While I am writing this, my mother is still shouting at me. It is common everyday, I am used to it. She has a mental disorder of repeating the same thing 1000000 times. Everyday she will say the same thing, blame me for hiding the fact that I was bunking college, staying at home, lying in bed. And then she will compare me with other relatives who did shit in their college days, got a job 5 years after graduating from college. And then repeat the same words again, the next day. To me, she keeps living in the past. Natural for Indians women, they don't work, have no ambition, just keep watching TV, gossip rumors, eat and sleep.

I'm trying to learn programming online, for which, I need to sit in front of my PC. My relatives keep telling my parents that all the time I am watching porn/ playing video games and doing shit. This one year depression caused me to lose weight abnormally, so they claim that I smoke weed, take drugs. Funny how my parents know I suffer from asthma yet believe them.

I used to give that fake laugh, you know, to show that I "agree" with whatever advice those relatives threw at me, to just "get along". I was just killing my self-esteem. I'll tell you how I am improving.
I am working everyday. Even if I am not "feeling like studying", I am sitting in front of my lappy, staring at Geeksforgeeks.org or YouTube channels like NewBoston. Within minutes, I start learning again.

I joined this forum after reading TMF . I've read many stories of people making it big from rags to riches. I know I will do it too. Now is my time for hustling. I don't have money for business, my dad won't let me leave the house, nor let me work part-time. So my only option is to suck it and study, and earn money via freelancing side-by-side. My goal for 2020 is to get into freelancing to get some cash at hand. That's beside the point, what I want to say is work. Keep working. Don't give up. And don't pity yourself. Be proud of who you are. You've made it this far, 4-5 more years is nothing.

I stopped talking to my relatives, I am studying and I don't need the advice of illiterates who keep criticizing. Even if for 2 hours, study. Even when you feel down, open that one YouTube video on math or any other topic and take out your notebook and study.

My college exams were over on 16th, and I decided to learn C programming in depth. I'm aiming for GATE.
 

A_Random_Guy

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Here is my progress so far:

My notes:
ONeNSym.jpg

2sx0Npn.jpg

ezXMJ58.jpg

gMKcTws.jpg


Prior to this, I've finished a few HTML and CSS videos by NewBoston and a book for beginner C++

tlZnZCF.jpg


Starting from Jan 1, I will start with Engg. Mathematics and Discrete Mathematics, so I plan on finishing C before this month ends.
 

Danny V.

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You’re putting to much pressure on yourself. Go to therapy and maybe be open to other things. It seems from reading your post, that then stress is coming from the university and your family. Almost like it’s boxing you in. I may be confused in what the project you are working on right now is but I don’t know if sitting at home coding for hours alone is the best option at this moment.

I can only speak from my experience but maybe going to a local college is a better option. Less pressure, more variety of classes, AA is accepted practically everywhere, and affordable (maybe scholarships paid it full out). Also the classmates are older, working and are mature. Many of the professors work outside the college. Then get a job in what you are interested in and once you’re up to it then move out. Many times you just need singles and doubles (baseball reference). Build yourself up but with the right support structure (friends, a job, therapy, activities, exercise,. etc) Try speaking with different therapists.

This is my advice but don’t keep beating yourself up doing the same thing over and over whether that is physically or mentally if it isn’t working. Not trying to devalue what you are going through when I say this but it’s like coding, you have you’re situation and now it’s just about figuring out what pieces are needed to put it together to make it work, connecting the dots.

The good thing is you are young, bright and well spoken. I’ve had friends that I know deep down are depressed but are putting a facade over it. it would be unfortunate for you to end it so soon.
 
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AFMKelvin

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Hang in there man...

No pun intended?

But honestly stay grounded. I can't imagine what its like to live in India where your family puts so much pressure on you to go to college like its the answer to all life's problems. God, that must be a drag no wonder suicides are so high for the student population in Asian countries.

Anyway you can create a lifeline or go work for suicide prevention organizations in Bengali? Be the change you want to see and don't let this happen to other young people going through the same thing. All it takes is one person to change the minds of people and it might not be easy but information is the most powerful tool.

Search online for suicide prevention organizations and go to work for them. And about your family and friends tell them to F*ck off.

Message me if you need any help.
 

100k

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That's it? People said some things about you?

Learn to grow thick skin and get over it. Let people talk shit... hustle and reach your goals. Have the last laugh in their face (if you want).
 

DavidTT

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Just hang in there man. I had something similar happen and I think it’s more of a generational problem and a clash of old traditions. I’ve had very similar problems and not to long ago, it really hit a peak for me.

I had one of my uncle who doesn’t work and always craps on everyone for being bad etc. He is more on the religious side but not really helping but rather, just lowering everyone. We also have a tradition of not raising our voice on older people and have respect for adults but at one point he just crossed the line with me.

He came to my house one day before I was even awake. That day I woke up at around 11am since I really wasn’t feeling good in general these days. I didn’t even want to get out to greet anyone since I was sure he would start rambling again. Once I came out, he did the usual rambling but this time I just tried reasoning with him and that’s when he started screaming at me and arguing.

Couldn’t reason with him whatsoever. He got aggressive as if he wanted to fight so then I started threatening him that I’ll knock him out (I did kickboxing for over 4 years lol) if he didn’t keep his mouth shut. He seriously calmed down and got scared. It felt really good honestly.

Sometimes you just gotta keep people in check or else, they’ll keep mistreating you. If they are family, then they should treat you like family as well. If they completely act out and have no respect for you and treat you like an animal, then either stand up for yourself or just keep them at bay.
 
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Ismail941

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Since you flunked out from the uni, you should get involve with Intrapreneurship -> Entrepreneurship without any second thought
 

elina_nazarova

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Hey fastlaners. In my second year of college wanted to kill myself. Fortunately my friend convinced me to come down and attend therapy sessions. After some I attended so therapy session and it sounded like my parents were ok with it. However when I went back to my college. My college is ranked seriously high. Well it was until flunked out. I had to sign a document from the school that I could not enter the campus. Instead of going back home, I went straight to my friend's house. He was the guy who convinced me to come down from the building I was on. The next the police arrested me for trespassing. My dad spent $2,000 to hire a lawyer to expunge my criminal record. After my record was cleared, I contacted the Dean of Student Affairs, and they told me that they will not be able to return to my college. I felt like shit. What was all my hard work in high school for. I was going to have transfer to public city college. I was so depressed. But, after a few months, I got over it and decided to finish my degree in 3 years.

But today I was betrayed. My parents told all their bengali friends that I
1) Flunked out of great university (This doesn't really bother my, they should have told the truth from the beginning)
2) Have mental illnesses and had to attend therapy

They told their friends at a party. Then the friends talked shit about me, making jokes about mental health and claiming that I would amount to nothing. They called me a vegetable. They said was weak. They compared me to their own children boasting about amazing they were and how, I in contrast, was a loser. I feel like I lost all my trust in my parents. I am absolutely ashamed of myself and now loath Bengali people (including myself).

I just want to end it, man. I have no support, no one. No friends, no family. It is just me and right now, it feels like I am never going to live a good life. Can you all help me figure out what I should?

I'm the process of going through The Odin Project, so I can learn how to program and perhaps make my own app.

Hi there!
First and foremost, stop thinking your life depends on what other people say!
Do you really think their opinion matters? It's your life, and it's just yours! They don't have right to judge you until you hurt anyone, and I hope you don't.
Don't pay attention to what they say about you and just live your life. People always talk about other people.
Regarding your parents, I don't think they wanted to hurt you. Just talk to them and explain you don't like what they did. I'm sure they will understand you.
Good luck and don't be sad.
 

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I am sorry to hear that this has happened and I hope you find a way to work through your problems.

Imagine turning up to another party in a few years in a suit as a successful entrepreneur. The people who badmouth you will have nothing to say then. You will find a way, good luck to you.
 
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AA1980

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That's it? People said some things about you?

Learn to grow thick skin and get over it. Let people talk shit... hustle and reach your goals. Have the last laugh in their face (if you want).

His own parents... not some bullies in the schoolyard. Depression is a serious issue. Cut him some slack.
 

• nikita •

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Mental health is a weird topic isn't it. People will be fine with many things, but call you useless and a degenerate if you have mental health issues. I had anxiety and depression when I was young, I dropped out of high school and was called everything under the sun by my parents. I'd come home from therapy and my dad would ask me if my "disease" was cured. Didn't go to university because I found it useless, again was called pathetic trash. They were all making fun of me until I got a job without a degree in software development. Later on I quit and now I run my own businesses. My peers just finished university with debt and no experience with anything. So who's the useless degenerate now?

Prove them wrong
 
D

DeletedUser0287

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Hey fastlaners. In my second year of college wanted to kill myself. Fortunately my friend convinced me to come down and attend therapy sessions. After some I attended so therapy session and it sounded like my parents were ok with it. However when I went back to my college. My college is ranked seriously high. Well it was until flunked out. I had to sign a document from the school that I could not enter the campus. Instead of going back home, I went straight to my friend's house. He was the guy who convinced me to come down from the building I was on. The next the police arrested me for trespassing. My dad spent $2,000 to hire a lawyer to expunge my criminal record. After my record was cleared, I contacted the Dean of Student Affairs, and they told me that they will not be able to return to my college. I felt like shit. What was all my hard work in high school for. I was going to have transfer to public city college. I was so depressed. But, after a few months, I got over it and decided to finish my degree in 3 years.

But today I was betrayed. My parents told all their bengali friends that I
1) Flunked out of great university (This doesn't really bother my, they should have told the truth from the beginning)
2) Have mental illnesses and had to attend therapy

They told their friends at a party. Then the friends talked shit about me, making jokes about mental health and claiming that I would amount to nothing. They called me a vegetable. They said was weak. They compared me to their own children boasting about amazing they were and how, I in contrast, was a loser. I feel like I lost all my trust in my parents. I am absolutely ashamed of myself and now loath Bengali people (including myself).

I just want to end it, man. I have no support, no one. No friends, no family. It is just me and right now, it feels like I am never going to live a good life. Can you all help me figure out what I should?

I'm the process of going through The Odin Project, so I can learn how to program and perhaps make my own app.

One of my friends is Bengali.I never understood why their family matters are so serious.
 
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ZF Lee

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I'm not trying to stereotype, but from what you say, it sounds to me like there is a real need for a better understanding of mental health issues among Bengali people. As someone with ties to Bengali culture who has experienced mental health struggles, you are the perfect person to be able to lead the way. Perhaps your app will be one in the mental health space.

I wish you well!
Not just Bengalis, but pretty much everywhere!

@SpongeGod, I am sorry for what happened.
I myself felt a lot of shit, chasing after tough college grade benchmarks and exam results this year, and was only fortunate to get a 2.3 CGPA. *studying finance and business analytics)

There were many times I mumbled under my breath, 'Quit college! Quit college!'

Then I realised just a few weeks ago that I didn't need to score the biggest grades...I just needed to learn enough to read finance reports, understand which rules were right, or 'wrong' (not black and white) and so on.

I'm beginning to study the markets, potentially for investing, and somehow with the basics I learned, I feel a lot more cleared up with the lingo.

So its a bit of a mindshift, to get thru the mist.

I just want to end it, man. I have no support, no one. No friends, no family.
You may be surprised that my FB account is defunct as F*ck.
I don't talk much to my college mates, except on assignments or business.

I feel lonely at times even with family, and I can count on one hand how many 'real friends' I have.

But I never feel alone.

People will be going and leaving, so the trick is keeping folks coming in as well.

In the last few weeks, I went out to resurrect a few meetup.com (try to look for a programming one) attendances and even a new church men's fellowship (I'm 21 yrs old, and they are 40-60s).

They welcomed me wholeheartedly, and I'll be formally joining one of the latter's sessions for accountability checkups.

@SpongeGod, find 1-2 regular meetups related to business and programming.
And then 1-2 meetups related to leisure (e.g. board games, movies) or sports.

When you go to the meeting, just find 1-2 people who stand out, who help out and contribute, and then introduce yourself. Offer to help, and to know more about them.

Help them, and see the real people beneath them, and if they are good, noble, kind people....proceed to build up anew.

I'm not sure if your area has a lot of such progressive activities going on...so you might need to check it out, or else move to a more urban setting.

I would recommend that since you are in the heat of things...don't rush too much to do this networking thing. Take it piece by piece, and try to keep in touch with that psychiatrist or health counsellor, for good measure.

Congrats for going out to help yourself, learning new skills and getting medical help!
It shows you are responsible, and know what's good for you!
 

LuckyPup

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Hey fastlaners. In my second year of college wanted to kill myself. Fortunately my friend convinced me to come down and attend therapy sessions. After some I attended so therapy session and it sounded like my parents were ok with it. However when I went back to my college. My college is ranked seriously high. Well it was until flunked out. I had to sign a document from the school that I could not enter the campus. Instead of going back home, I went straight to my friend's house. He was the guy who convinced me to come down from the building I was on. The next the police arrested me for trespassing. My dad spent $2,000 to hire a lawyer to expunge my criminal record. After my record was cleared, I contacted the Dean of Student Affairs, and they told me that they will not be able to return to my college. I felt like shit. What was all my hard work in high school for. I was going to have transfer to public city college. I was so depressed. But, after a few months, I got over it and decided to finish my degree in 3 years.

But today I was betrayed. My parents told all their bengali friends that I
1) Flunked out of great university (This doesn't really bother my, they should have told the truth from the beginning)
2) Have mental illnesses and had to attend therapy

They told their friends at a party. Then the friends talked shit about me, making jokes about mental health and claiming that I would amount to nothing. They called me a vegetable. They said was weak. They compared me to their own children boasting about amazing they were and how, I in contrast, was a loser. I feel like I lost all my trust in my parents. I am absolutely ashamed of myself and now loath Bengali people (including myself).

I just want to end it, man. I have no support, no one. No friends, no family. It is just me and right now, it feels like I am never going to live a good life. Can you all help me figure out what I should?

I'm the process of going through The Odin Project, so I can learn how to program and perhaps make my own app.
I could voice my sympathy, but that would only go so far. I could tell you that your parents are horrible and you have every right to feel the way you do, but I won't, because after your feeling of justification and righteousness wore off, you'd still be in the same emotional spot, or maybe worse. And that won't help you.

Suffice to say, you were wronged or at least feel like you were. The important thing for you to remember is that there is what happens to you, and then there is how you choose to deal with it. If this is truly how your parents and their friends acted, then if I were you I'd put forth all my energy into proving them wrong and creating a great life. You might have a long way to go to reach that end, but a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Begin, look forward and don't look back.

P.S. - Who gives a f*ck what your parents' friends think?
 

IlseVdG

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You got to find love for yourself. And it must come from inside of you.

There's a lot of great advice in this thread, and I think the message above summarizes it best.
That being said, online advice has great limits, and mostly on tricky subjects as these.
That being said, these are some things I would additionally suggest you to consider (but take it with the necessary grain of salt, just as any other online advice):

1. Get a therapist/coach. Ideally it's a person that
- you connect to
- you can trust 100% (and no links to family!),
- really challenges you, someone who is not afraid to confront you
- can divide between things you are ready to hear, and things you are not yet ready to hear.
This requires wisdom (and age).
Trust that you will attract the right person for this job. If it doesn't feel right, move on and look for someone else. But also give your special working relationship the space and time to evolve. Your mind can play tricks on you, when you are confronted with stuff you don't want to hear. Introspection and openness are very important. You need to have the courage to look at yourself. Otherwise, no one will be able to help you.

2. It's normal that you are affected greatly by what your parents say or do. There's a blood tie. But it's certainly not impossible to make changes in yourself that allow you to take the necessary distance, all the while still loving your parents. It's a process that is not easy, but very rewarding. Try to see them as your greatest teachers in life. Not in that they speak the truth all the time (far from that). But in that they challenge you the most, to to be the strongest person that you can be. This will serve you in all areas of life.

3. To get to this point of 'taking the necessary distance, all the while still loving your parents', it might be necessary to first take some more radical measures, just to protect yourself while you're vulnerable. There's no way anyone on this forum, in this online environment, can advise you on that. You need to seek advice of someone in real life. And even then, it's up to you to decide. One example of a piece of advice that's commonly given, because it's so essential in many cases, is that one needs to get out of the house of the parents. It's just hard for anyone, to stay upright when stuck 24/24 in a toxic situation. Again, it's impossible to draw conclusions on online info, but parents that ridicule their child in front of friends, on the subject of needing psychological help, seem at best to have 'some issues', and could have a toxic influence on you. That's all I want to say in that regard. You can still love them fondly (or be mad at them for a healthy while) but you don't have to put yourself in a position where your energy is sucked constantly. You, nor your parents, nor anyone else, benefits from that unhealthy situation.

4. Consider that in many cases, psychological problems of children are reflections of psychological problems of the parents (who are also clueless, just do their best, and have sometimes inhereted stuff from their own upbringing, stuff that's passed on from generation to generation). That being said, you're 100 % responsable for you own life. It's up to you to deal with this. Don't expect your parents to change. You need to change yourself. And there's not an ounce of guilt or shame in that. On the contrary. It's the most precious gift that you can give to yourself, and to the world. It's a wonderful opportunity.

5. There's no shortcut, no workaround. You need to do the hard work of changing yourself, and it's the same for everyone. No one, rich or poor, is exempt of this. You WILL feel better in the end, but you will have earned it with honest blood, sweat and tears. And with time. Not with secret formulas.

6. Having psychological challenges makes you no less than anyone else. First of all, comparing people as better/worse is obviously not the way to go. This kind of reasoning is not serving anyone. Secondly: overcoming this will give you special, unique assets that other people don't have (they in turn have other assets that you don't have). Going through this will make you better of service to others, one way or another. So consider this also as 'school'. The school of life, the most important school. And you benefit most of the lessons, when you act on them. Don't let this eat you up, but go through your feelings, and reach out for help. Reaching out for help is not being weak. It's being responsible for your life, and consequently, being responsible for others. Because, whether you like to hear this or not: your presence here is essential for everyone. There's no one else who can take your place here on earth. If you're gone prematurely, it's going to affect us all, one way or another. We're all connected.

7. Consider that, once this crisis is over - and it WILL be over at some point - you will continue to have psychological challenges, just like anyone else. We all work at it, all our lives. Anyone who claims to have no issues, is either totally oblivious, or a liar. That person has additional issues, on top of all other issues. :) As someone said on this forum: we're all a bit crazy, welcome to the club!

I'm rooting for you. You'll be alright, you're already reaching out. Just give it time and let it all sink in. You'll know what to do. Take very, very good care of yourself.
 
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Kevin88660

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Stay positive.

Don’t get too paranoid of getting embarrassed. The fact is no one bothers to think about you. Everyone is worried about themselves just like you are. They will not spend more than 2 minutes of their life ridiculing you.
 

WJK

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Hey fastlaners. In my second year of college wanted to kill myself. Fortunately my friend convinced me to come down and attend therapy sessions. After some I attended so therapy session and it sounded like my parents were ok with it. However when I went back to my college. My college is ranked seriously high. Well it was until flunked out. I had to sign a document from the school that I could not enter the campus. Instead of going back home, I went straight to my friend's house. He was the guy who convinced me to come down from the building I was on. The next the police arrested me for trespassing. My dad spent $2,000 to hire a lawyer to expunge my criminal record. After my record was cleared, I contacted the Dean of Student Affairs, and they told me that they will not be able to return to my college. I felt like shit. What was all my hard work in high school for. I was going to have transfer to public city college. I was so depressed. But, after a few months, I got over it and decided to finish my degree in 3 years.

But today I was betrayed. My parents told all their bengali friends that I
1) Flunked out of great university (This doesn't really bother my, they should have told the truth from the beginning)
2) Have mental illnesses and had to attend therapy

They told their friends at a party. Then the friends talked shit about me, making jokes about mental health and claiming that I would amount to nothing. They called me a vegetable. They said was weak. They compared me to their own children boasting about amazing they were and how, I in contrast, was a loser. I feel like I lost all my trust in my parents. I am absolutely ashamed of myself and now loath Bengali people (including myself).

I just want to end it, man. I have no support, no one. No friends, no family. It is just me and right now, it feels like I am never going to live a good life. Can you all help me figure out what I should?

I'm the process of going through The Odin Project, so I can learn how to program and perhaps make my own app.
It's hard to see around this type of moment. You can do it. And you're in good company. There an army of us out there who have lived through total rejection by our birth families. We came out the other end stronger and better people. Just don't hurt yourself. You must survive and thrive to prove them wrong. It feels like the end of your world. Know that it also a new beginning. It's a chance to redefine who you are and where you want to go with your life. Yes, it feels brutal and you feel like you can't breathe. Take a walk. Go help someone else. Write a journal. Read a good book. Work out. Learn a new skill. Work until you are physically exhausted, so you can sleep. This too shall pass.
 

Here

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No advice, but I feel you. I’ve been there too. Then life got better and I was grateful to be here. Then it was a pure struggle and my world turned dark again.

What I’m discovering is that life goes in cycles. There are dark times and bright times, and you have to get through the dark to get to your next bright patch.

Those folks that ended it all spared themselves a lot of pain. But they lost the wonderful times too.

Have you tried the whole gratitude thing? Finding 3 things to be grateful for per day. At first it’s hard to get to three, but I truly think that appreciating the good allows more good to come.
 
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BellaPippin

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Some cultures just aren’t there man... mine is somewhere in the middle but I know there are many worse.

Stay away from the toxicity as much as you can. Keep going to therapy. The anxiety and depression subreddit helped me a lot in my first stages. Sign up for some class of something you enjoy so you can make acquaintances of your same interests. Leave all that behind as soon as you can.

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