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This is what 60 Pounds (27 KGS) Looks Like

biophase

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Don't you worry. My best days are clearly in front of me. Working on some amazing things.

If you listen to Peter Diamandis podcast (Exponential Wisdom – Podcast by Peter Diamandis and Dan Sullivan) which is all about longevity, he asks the question, if you thought you would live to 100, how would that change what you do today?

It is an interesting question because I'm 46 and many of my friends are thinking retirement ("the back 9"). However, if we live to 100, are we retiring at 55 and living 45 years of retirement? I doubt we only want to create in 55% of our lifetime.

So thinking about living to 100 changes how I think about my life. In fact, maybe retirement starts at 80 now, so I have 34 years left to build my empire. How does having 34 years of biz growing time change your business strategy? Now you are definitely still on the front 9.
 
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biophase

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Don't you worry. My best days are clearly in front of me. Working on some amazing things.

Dave, one thing I have noticed in me and others is that getting in shape increases your confidence in all areas of life.
 

Kung Fu Steve

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Yes, I've done it what seems like 10 times this year. So much in fact, it's getting easier.

Part of what @Kung Fu Steve is teaching in his group. Once you understand the situation and what it means to you, you can create that kind of change everyday.

I think the real billion dollar question is this -- what causes a person to have the sort of epiphany that Vigilante had? And can those sorts of transformations of the mind be created intentionally? If so, how?

There's only 2 ways:

1. Discipline
2. A significant emotional event.
 

rogue synthetic

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Dave, one thing I have noticed in me and others is that getting in shape increases your confidence in all areas of life.

I've been thinking about this a lot recently, in the group with @Kung Fu Steve , and it has really hit home to me how key being "in shape" has been to everything else in my life.

I have never been a discplined person. In most things creative or productive, I've been that guy who starts a ten things and never takes one more step in any of them.

The one exception? Twenty years ago, almost to the day, I stepped into my first gym membership. Minus the occasional ups and downs of life, I haven't stopped.

Asking myself why this stuck when nothing else did, I can only make some guesses. It feels good, but it isn't just about pure pleasure (your first lung-burning set of squats or sprints will cure you of that fast). Most of the feel-good happens after you're done. It's the kind of feel-good you get from achievement, when you stop discounting the future and create something bigger than a momentary feeling.

Everyone seems to ask the same question: "What motivates you to keep going to the gym, when you know it's going to be hard work?"

I think that's a bad question. If you're asking me how I get pumped up, how I get energized, how I get all the hot-n-happy emotions ready, I can only say that I don't do any of that. If that's what motivation means, I don't think it has anything to do with the process.

I stopped listening to loud death metal during my workouts. Pre-workout supplements? Not a total waste of time, but I think most people are using them for bad reasons. People want to get wound up before they exercise, but that's exactly backward.

In the past, the times I was most likely to skip workouts were the days when I got all introspective, when I decided I "wasn't feeling it", when I gave myself an out (and of course I took it).

Nothing motivates me to keep exercising. I keep exercising because that's what I do.

It's like asking me what motivates me to eat, breathe, or shower. These aren't optional. Motivates? Nah. It's just what you do.

Learning that lesson was worth more than any money. I expect any of you who have been in the military can relate. It's about building discipline, in a way, but it's also learning how to separate your life from your feelings.

If you're always waiting on feelings, you're like a leaf being blown around in a hurricane. If you can build an identity around a purpose, feeling motivated becomes a non-issue.
 
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msufan

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There's only 2 ways:

1. Discipline
2. A significant emotional event.

This is the conundrum. If it's true that a person really has to hit rock bottom before they are willing to change dramatically, it's tough to make that happen on a regular basis.

With regard to discipline, do you think discipline alone can turn a person around? Or is discipline what keeps a person going once they've already made a change?
 

MTF

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If you're always waiting on feelings, you're like a leaf being blown around in a hurricane.

Ultramarathoner Rich Roll writes in his book "Finding Ultra" the following words:

If I wait until I feel like doing something, I usually just keep waiting. Inert. I may never feel like it. If and when I do, the moment has already passed. This impulse need not dictate behavior. The path forward is to understand one essential truth: mood follows action. Taking action, even if it’s just sitting up in bed, drives changes in your emotional state— not the other way around.

This is actually what Tony Robbins says a lot - your physiology changes your emotional state. I recently realized (thanks to @Kung Fu Steve's coaching program) that if I merely pretend that I feel strong, happy, relaxed, etc., then I can actually feel it even if I consciously think "this is BS."

Also, I'm pretty sure that if a fat guy starts behaving like a fit guy (even if he still has a long way to go before becoming even semi-fit), he'll probably have a higher chance of losing weight than a guy who starts a diet and a workout routine, but the rest of his life stays the same (meaning stuff like going to the gym three times a week, but then spending the rest of his time sedentary).

It's one thing to introduce one or two habits, and another to completely restructure your life (by changing your everyday choices, thoughts, and generally speaking, your entire mindset) to mimic the lifestyle of a person who's achieved what you're after.

A person who sets a habit to walk 2 miles a day might lose some weight, but unless their default behavior - regardless of their mood - is to exercise regularly, eat healthily, and walk a lot even if they don't have to (little choices like skipping the elevator), it's just a surface change and not a deep down transformation.

This is what @Vigilante referred to: in his mind, he's already a fit guy. It's the physical world that has to catch up.

I'm actually testing this concept myself, but my goal is to drop my body fat below 10% (I'm already lean, but not as lean as I would like). I'm pretending that I'm a guy who already has sub-10% body fat and asking myself questions like: "How would a person with a six-pack abs eat?" "How would they exercise?" "How would they carry themselves?" "How would they feel about their body?"
 

MJ DeMarco

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And can those sorts of transformations of the mind be created intentionally?

Yes, but typically your mind has to be ready for it, and even go as far as SEEKING it.

If so, how?

It typically involves a strong psychological anchor that almost resembles an FTE (f-this-event).

A great example, albeit crude, is akin to a wife wanting to divorce her husband but never having the psychological strength to do so. Fear, sacrifice, big change, all of it prevents the wife from taking the meaningful action. One day she walks in on her husband having sex with a strange woman. The next day she has no trouble filing for divorce. She now has a psychological anchor (negative) associated with her husband, making the decision to act much easier than the pain of fear, change, and all the other reasons why she never acted before.

With food, the anchor has to come from something profound ... a close friend dies, you're crushing your wife during intercourse, your doctor says you'll be dead in 5 years, or something even as simple as I can't paddle board in Hawaii.

In any case, such "events" that creates these anchors can be sought and prodded.

I have my own story to tell, but just ain't ready to tell it yet.
 
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Kung Fu Steve

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If it's true that a person really has to hit rock bottom before they are willing to change dramatically, it's tough to make that happen on a regular basis.

I didn't say rock bottom. I said "significant emotional event".

That could be literally anything emotionally impactful -- you had a kid? Emotionally impactful. Everything changes. You get married? Emotionally impactful. Everything changes.

As @MJ says a "F this event" -- where you finally hit emotional threshold and decide enough is enough. But that doesn't mean "rock bottom".

Sometimes a decision is emotionally impactful. We all know someone who stopped smoking; not because of the drugs or the nicotine or the patch -- simply because one day they decided "I'm done."

You COULD make anything an significant emotional event... but you're right in a sense because most people wait for a negative significant emotional event to change... they wait until the bank account is at zero before they make a positive change... they wait until the husband or wife leaves... they wait until somebody gets sick or gets hurt or DIES before they make a change.

In my humble opinion -- it's better to be proactive and create significant emotional events BEFORE you hit "rock bottom"

With regard to discipline, do you think discipline alone can turn a person around? Or is discipline what keeps a person going once they've already made a change?

Yes... but I've learned only about 5% of the population actually has discipline to do anything. I'm not a part of that 5%. The rest of us 95% need a significant emotional event!
 

LightHouse

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By now @MJ DeMarco, this thread should be golded

3 reasons why....

1.) DH got off his a$$ (literally) and made a big decision and changed his life in one fell swoop
2.) The outlay of incredibly valuable information provided with minimal disruptions (shit posts)
3.) The number of folks here who have come back saying they were inspired to make their own big and small changes based on keeping up with this thread.


If I was new, This is the type of thread I would want to read no matter what my goals were. Of course it is a bit different for those of us that know each other in real life, but anyone that doesnt can pick up the extra in context here.
 

MTF

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In my humble opinion -- it's better to be proactive and create significant emotional events BEFORE you hit "rock bottom"

Any tips how to "engineer" significant emotional events before you hit "rock bottom"?
 
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Real Deal Denver

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Any tips how to "engineer" significant emotional events before you hit "rock bottom"?

Great question. I can't wait to see the great answers.

My answer is not so great, but it works for me. I set goals and milestones. I mean big goals - goals that take years to achieve.

Then I break them down into segments, and then I put that on a timeline. Looking at a huge goal can be self-defeating. Who can possibly do that? Instead of letting the size of the goal be overwhelming, take it one step at a time. There is a Steve Jobs biography entitled "The Journey is the Reward." Highly recommended as brain food. You do need to feed and nurture your brain, at least as much as the rest of your body.

I KNOW, for example, that I AM going to lose over 100 pounds. I have it mapped out. It could take two years. No problem. I'm enjoying watching (and feeling) the progress - that is the reward along the way. BIG thanks to @Vigilante for being a spark that ignited this in a lot of people!

I KNOW that I will have a major improvement fully functional in my business within the next 30 days. I've been working on this project for years. I first created a schedule to follow, and found the resources to do what I did not know how to do. I'm not stressed anymore knowing my shortcomings - I'm happy that I've found the answers, and I am eagerly awaiting the launching of this new system. The fact that I KNOW it will happen takes away the doubts and fears and turns this into an epic journey.

That is how I manage things, and turn on the switches in my brain that enable me to achieve otherwise daunting goals, with confidence - and even enjoyment.

There is a book in me about that. After my goals have been reached, maybe I can use that as a guide to help others through that book. It is not something that I have learned quickly. It took decades to "evolve" to this point.

And now, I pass the microphone for a really great story, from...
 
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msufan

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Any tips how to "engineer" significant emotional events before you hit "rock bottom"?

This is my question as well. The best book I've found on this is The Power of Moments by Chip and Dan Heath, which focuses on how you can sculpt moments to be more meaningful and memorable. Maybe that book would apply here.

Hoping to hear that MJ story someday.
 

ZCP

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Any tips how to "engineer" significant emotional events before you hit "rock bottom"?

Two I do ......Imagine your funeral. How many people are standing in line to say a few words on your behalf? How many people have you moved so strongly and touched so deeply that they HAD to be there? Picture who those people are? What is their emotional state? What would they say?

And two, imagine you are at the pearly gates and are asked to give a brief presentation on why you deserve to be there. It will be attended by everyone you have ever come in contact with in your life. What would your first three bullet points be?

That should get your a$$ moving. Start living!
 
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Kung Fu Steve

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Any tips how to "engineer" significant emotional events before you hit "rock bottom"?

The trouble is, anything could do it. What's emotionally impactful for you, may not be emotionally impactful for me.

But if you're looking for the answer it boils down to what you neurologically associate pain and pleasure to.

Why did we all do our term paper the night before it was due in school? Because leading up to it, it was too painful to do and too pleasurable NOT to do... and then what happened? A significant emotional event where you realized it was due TOMORROW! (oh shit!)

So in one moment you associated more pain to NOT taking action... and even some pleasure to doing the thing you never though would be pleasurable (maybe I'll get a good grade, it'll be off my plate, once this is done I can go do that, etc.)

It's a real decision to change something.

A real decision means you cut off any other option. You burn the boats and there is no going back.

A real decision doesn't mean you try it for a couple of days and see how it goes.

(P.S. you see most people on this forum try something for a week or two and then try the next thing. One week they're a copy writer, the next week they have a digital marketing agency, after that they are a business coach, then they sell stuff on amazon -- none of those people made a REAL decision about what they are about or what they are doing! -- I've been guilty in the past so I'm by no means preaching but you understand, yes?)

What is it you want to do???
 

MTF

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Two I do ......Imagine your funeral. How many people are standing in line to say a few words on your behalf? How many people have you moved so strongly and touched so deeply that they HAD to be there? Picture who those people are? What is their emotional state? What would they say?

And two, imagine you are at the pearly gates and are asked to give a brief presentation on why you deserve to be there. It will be attended by everyone you have ever come in contact with in your life. What would your first three bullet points be?

That should get your a$$ moving. Start living!

Thanks for the ideas. I often think about death, but when I'm down it doesn't really help (because I think "so what, achieving X won't change anything"). I believe that, for example, pretty much every obese guy says something similar: "Okay, so it's my funeral and people say that I died prematurely because I was fat. So what?"

What is it you want to do???

Thanks for your answer, Steve. I struggle with several things, but you've already addressed the most difficult one when I emailed you. I have a limiting belief that I can't have it all. I believe that if I improve my life in one area (where I live), it'll negatively affect another aspect of my life (my relationships). This makes me stuck, unsure which direction to take.

I think that people struggling with their weight are dealing with the same problem: most would like to lose weight, but they're afraid that if they change their diet, their quality of life will decrease in another area. For example, they'll no longer be able to drink a few beers with their buddies each weekend, have pizza with their kids, or generally speaking, eat whatever they want which they associate with freedom (which they'll lose when they change their habits).

During yesterday's call George said something that I realized can be helpful in engineering a significant emotional event. Namely, he said that you can use any emotion (including negative emotions) to motivate yourself.

I've been trying to drop my body fat to athlete-lean levels for a long time, trying to use positive emotions to motivate myself. I recently realized that what works better for me is anger and frustration.

I'm very active physically, yet don't look super-fit (according to my standards - and yes, I know I can drop them and feel happy with my physique, but I don't want to). I'm angry that other people who don't exercise as much as I do (or don't even have healthy eating habits) look better. I'm now using this anger and frustration to stick to some new habits that will take me where I want to go.

I think that this is what people struggling with weight can use to get them to take action: focus on something that angers, frustrates, or disgusts you and really build it up (put yourself in situations that elevate these negative emotions, like going to the beach and feeling embarrassed of your body) until you can't take it anymore. Not sure how healthy it is in the long run to get angry by comparing yourself to others, but I'm pretty sure it can help people get started.
 

Bishop

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For you guys looking for something like chips, without the carbs..and full of protein:

Home - Whisps

I eat the hell out of these. Great on a salad too. I get them at Costco in bulk. I also put them in a bowl of Chili, like soup crackers.

Any one else have their own alternatives for replacing the bad with the good?
 
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MoBrown

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Short intro: female 53, from Croatia, been lurking here for quite a while, love this stuff. Kudos to MJ, have read both books.


Topic intro: More than 30 lbs lost since NY 2018. Out of these 20+ shed since begin May. Finally doing all things right.

...

Any one else have their own alternatives for replacing the bad with the good?
Great question. My answers require a bit of cooking, but it is simple. And after all, we know that weight loss is a process, not an event.



Potatoes

Can't really say potato is bad per se, but it is a high glycemic index food - raises insulin levels. On the other hand, it's not junk so I decided against taking it out completely. Instead I reduced the quantity of it by combining it with squash (green, summer, whatever variant you've got over there).

In mash potatoes it can be 50:50, but squash is much more watery so you may want to press cooked squash a bit for it to lose some water. Or you may not, it's up to you. Squash takes half the time of potato to steam.

Then there's this recipe with Swiss chard (or any other chard) and potatoes. Grate potato in chipslike pieces and steam it with chopped chard, 10 min or so. You can use squash instead of potato. Then put it in a bowl with hacked garlic and/or chives, salt pepper and half a table spoon of oil (not refined, only cold pressed oil of your choice. I use olive oil.) Excellent side dish. You may add dill to minimize possible bloating.

I have more of these squash recipes if you're interested.


Speaking of squash, lol

Simple soup recipe with squash (variants: you can replace it with squash+broccoli, just broccoli, cauliflower. I even made japanese squash – that orange one - good if you like sweet-ish tasting soup).

I started cooking it more often when I realized how many calories my favourite meat soups actually have. And that I can take only 2 ladles of beef soup without anything else in it (120 cal). These squash and variants soups have at least three times less calories, so 3 or 4 ladles are ok. I actually put a potato in it to make it thicker (instead of cream or flour that others put).

For 2 ppl – a pound or so of squash cut and one potato cut in pieces and salt, cook for 10 min, add 3 oz of milk, cook another 10 min. Then take squash and potato out into blender, blend it for a few moments and pour back. Wait until it boils again. In the meantime, you can add pepper, chives are great especially for cauliflower and squash variants to give it some color and add taste. To cauliflower variant you can also add parsley if you like.



There's a great mushroom soup recipe if you're interested. Also my variant with low calories.


Tnx for reading.
 

sparechange

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food is to dam good, that's the problem with obesity, coming from a chocolate addict...

the scariest thing about being overweight is increased risk of cancer
 
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LightHouse

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food is to dam good, that's the problem with obesity, coming from a chocolate addict...

the scariest thing about being overweight is increased risk of cancer
This is the difference between two mindsets that determine your path..

Do you live to eat, or do you eat to live?

Both have polar opposite priorities and outcomes.
 
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Everyman

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Congrats Vigilante on the decision. So much has been said here that I won't repeat. Maybe one thing.

I have this bias (probably formed by 'environment') that make me imagine successful people as handsome, tall and slim.

The reality is I know a lot of people that are successful and not many of them really cares about their weight or looks. Some of them stopped smoking or went on a diet because e.g. they want to enjoy their wealth and what they have built as long as possible.
 

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A 16 oz Sprite has 41 grams of sugar. Just because it's clear does not mean it has less sugar. I had to show this stat to my wife and a coworker because nobody believed me.
 

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How to Live Entrepreneurial Success: Beware of the Desert-of-Desertion – Fastlane Entrepreneurs

Understand that this concept is relevant to lifestyle changes. You see it every year with New Year's Resolutions and people hitting the gym. Once the honeymoon period is over, without the positive reinforcement, you're likely more apt to quit.

You will be happy to know that I have held the course through what many would find the most dangerous period... the desert of desertion.

This morning saw a scale breakthrough for me I haven't seen in a decade. Next stop (or milestone) for me will be in the 230's. Not stopping there, but will get there some time in the next month or so. Also, dropped a pants size (again) this past month.

Press on. I just wanted to pop in with the thought that the desertion period MJ described applies to many aspects of life in which you are pressing towards significant personal growth.
 
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Real Deal Denver

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How to Live Entrepreneurial Success: Beware of the Desert-of-Desertion – Fastlane Entrepreneurs

Understand that this concept is relevant to lifestyle changes. You see it every year with New Year's Resolutions and people hitting the gym. Once the honeymoon period is over, without the positive reinforcement, you're likely more apt to quit.

You will be happy to know that I have held the course through what many would find the most dangerous period... the desert of desertion.

This morning saw a scale breakthrough for me I haven't seen in a decade. Next stop (or milestone) for me will be in the 230's. Not stopping there, but will get there some time in the next month or so. Also, dropped a pants size (again) this past month.

Press on. I just wanted to pop in with the thought that the desertion period MJ described applies to many aspects of life in which you are pressing towards significant personal growth.

SO glad to see your post Vig ~

Your original post pushed me to start my own journey to get in shape too. So far, in 9 weeks and 6 hours, I've lost 35 pounds. I can't remember when I felt this good (and I'm still 50 pounds heavier than you are!). I can only imagine how you feel, as you are much further ahead of me! Think of your back and leg muscles so used to carrying that weight! Do you bounce up and down now when you walk?

What is your target? The 210's? You are so close to being there. I don't think you could go much below 210 or 200 without your ribs sticking out...?

You made my day with your post - you are past the pain - you are unstoppable! BOO WAH!
 

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Glad to see you have held the course. F*ck conventional wisdom. A friend asked me today how my diet was going. What diet? I am not on a "diet." I changed the game completely.

I can tell you this. I will keep going until my body levels itself off. Don't know what the number is. I have no inclination to reintroduce things into my life that my body reacts poorly to.

I sleep better. I don't have to "roll" out of bed anymore. Getting up off a couch is easier. I no longer intentionally untuck or "fluff" my shirts. I think the whole time, since memorial day, aside from the occasional craft beer, the only hard core carbs I have had was a small plate of nachos in July.

I carry around almost six less 5# bags of flour everywhere I go. I have a LONG way to go to shed all the weight I want to, but at the same time, I will never go back. There's only one road and that is the one in front of me. Nothing else is even an option.

I was 180# in high school, playing football. I was around #220 when I got married. The lightest I have been since then was probably #235(ish) maybe 15 years ago. So I will definitely get into the 220's, but it's not like then I will start eating donuts.

By the time we get to the 2019 meetup, my body should have found close to it's equilibrium. However, I will stay eating the same way. As @Red knows from when she radically changed her diet... I just "feel better." Hard to explain to those that have never experienced it.

I carry (and you carry) that much less luggage around every day, @Real Deal Denver. I don't ever want that again. When I travelled, I would eat. Now, when I travel, I actually do the opposite. I don't fast, but I probably eat less than 1,000 calories a day when I am on the road. I am travelling next week for most of the week, and by the time I get back the scale will be different.

And you are past the pain. The toughest part? The first few days. Maybe the first four days to a week. Several of my friends have come along for the journey, a few bitching and moaning about it. They won't make it.

Glad to hear of your success. Keep going and don't you ever F*cking quit on yourself.
 

Red

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This makes my heart happy.

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Philip Marlowe

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By the time we get to the 2019 meetup, my body should have found close to it's equilibrium.

That makes two of us. And funny thing is, I recall the food choices being very healthy at the 2018 meet-up. It was the things outside the meet-up that would get you.

Vig - I pulled you aside just after you arrived at Talking Stick and mentioned that first-time attendees had just as much warning to heed from your message to multiple-event attendees. I'm glad you made it out.

Congratulations on the hard work.
 

FastNAwesome

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This morning saw a scale breakthrough for me I haven't seen in a decade.

Great to hear! Congratulations on your progress.

Had a similar experience just yesterday, and it amplified my desire to stay the course probably x10

I increasingly like what I see in the mirror and how I feel - and actually I don't feel that keen on food anymore, especially some junk that would get me fat. Not holding back myself from it - simply don't want it.

And fruit starts to taste sweet again, and is enough of a treat. Protein shake, when I make it thick and leave it to cool off, is what I enjoy instead of ice cream. But this is not a thread about me, sorry for slight off-topic:)

Looking forward to your further posts.
 

Vigilante

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Great to hear! Congratulations on your progress.

Had a similar experience just yesterday, and it amplified my desire to stay the course probably x10

I increasingly like what I see in the mirror and how I feel - and actually I don't feel that keen on food anymore, especially some junk that would get me fat. Not holding back myself from it - simply don't want it.

And fruit starts to taste sweet again, and is enough of a treat. Protein shake, when I make it thick and leave it to cool off, is what I enjoy instead of ice cream. But this is not a thread about me, sorry for slight off-topic:)

Looking forward to your further posts.

The thread IS about you actually. It’s about joining us on the journey and I was glad to read your post.
 
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Vigilante

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"Doctors won’t make you healthy.

Nutritionists won’t make you slim.

Teachers won’t make you smart.

Gurus won’t make you calm.

Mentors won’t make you rich.

Trainers won’t make you fit.

Ultimately, you have to take responsibility.

Save yourself."

- @Naval
 

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