I hate rich bastards (but I want to be one) Paradox?

[Puppy]

I see this over and over, everyone wants to BE rich but in the same breath they hate rich people. Really don't understand these people. If they think no one else deserves to be rich why do they think they do?

Also while celebrities get hated on a lot for being too rich it seems they aren't hated on as much as business owners or those who run/manage a business. I don't understand that logic either.

Notably, for every 1 rich celeb there are 1000 struggling ones. And just look at the number of formally rich stars. Wealth thru fame is so fickle (its literally in the publics hand whether they 'make it' or don't - violates Control?) and fleeting (very rarely does it last)

Third and last thought, Kim Kardashian gets so much hate for being as famous and rich as she is. Its nearly always dismissed as simply making a sex tape. BUT...

• That sex tape was TERRIBLE! I'll simply leave it at that.
• She wasn't the first nor the last to make a sex tape.
• If a sex tape was all it took to get to where she is now theres got to be A LOT of pissed off porn stars, collage kids, and bored housewives who got screwed out of a multimillion dollar empire.

The girl may be fake AF but she's also a marketing genius and has got some serious hustle. And for that I gotta give her props. *doesnt mean I'm a fan.

Anyways, can anyone explain the first two observations in a way that makes sense? The easy answer is to write it off as simply jealousy and/or hater-ism. But I don't think that really explains the root of it.

One last thing, what does RICH even mean? Far as I can tell, those rich folks who don't deserve that much money means "I hate anyone who has more money than me" I always want to say "well maybe they worked harder for it than you or happen to be better at managing their finances than you are" *note - people HATE hearing that

 

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[Longinus]

People usually hate other people because they have something other people don't have. It's much easier to hate than to work hard.

That being said, focusing on this won't get you any further. You will not change people.

 

[• nikita •]

What Longinus said. Every time I find myself hating or feeling contempt for someone, I ask myself is it because they have something I don't? Whether it's a rich person, a hot girl, a successful whatever, lots of reasons are thrown out for why they're a piece of shit, but the reason is always "they have what I don't".

Easier to insult and belittle than to get to their level.

 

[MidwestLandlord]

"Show me what a man is bitter about, and I'll show you what he lacks"

Can't remember where I heard that, but it makes a lot of sense, and sure fits the bill when I hear people being judgemental.

 

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[Aaron T]

I found it was usually a mix of jealousy and negative media portrayal of money that make people hate. They see things like Housewives series, media news, world events, sports stars and draw some conclusion that for rich people everything is a petty game and people don't matter.

Interesting is I don't advertise anything I have gained. I never had outside of when I was in my late teens and then lost it and back again in early 20's and lost again. Both of those times I was very vocal about finances. Not saying it was karma or "the universe" punishing me for being that way. That isn't how this works. It was my own dumb decisions. Still I tried to live up to the media representation of wealth and it was a failure. Then I learned the real meaning of wealth.

Many people now that don't know me, meet me at events or even when I consult at different places are shocked when then find out I might have a little money. Usually they never do. Unless someone sees me in one of my cars, looks up some details from the past, visits me in one of my homes they won't ever know. My values are changed and the money does a lot of good building out and supporting many endeavors. This is how the majority of wealthy I know live. Doing the things they want, while their money works for them and others in different ways. Doing no bad thing.

In my opinion, money is nothing but a magnet for who you are. If you are a good person you can become a better person with wealth. If you are an idiot, well you will be a bigger one. That is life. Unfortunately it is the negative outlooks and idiots that get all the attention and drive perception. The good rarely gets highlighted.

BTW this is all touched on in Unscripted . Definitely worth digging into more but the book does cover it entirely. @Puppy you should give it a read.

 

[Andy Black]

"Money is proof you helped your fellow man."
@MJ DeMarco

 

[Ninjakid]

I think rich people are the nicest because money is evil, so they take the evil money from everyone else.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

Well it doesn't help that every villain archetype in Hollywood movies is a corporate CEO henchmen or evil corporation willing to sellout humanity for profit.

 

[ThirtyOne]

Einstein had something to say about this.

“Rich” is relative. If you boil society down to 10 people, one of them will have vastly greater buying power than the rest. Subconsciously, the other people know that the more money he has, the more buying power he has. The more power he has, the less they have, relative to him.

You see a bit of this in Hawaii, where I’m from. Enough visiting rich people are willing to pay top dollar for property so the market costs go up, affecting the local’s buying power. That’s overly simplistic, but you get the point.

 

[jon.a]

Einstein had something to say about this.

“Rich” is relative. If you boil society down to 10 people, one of them will have vastly greater buying power than the rest. Subconsciously, the other people know that the more money he has, the more buying power he has. The more power he has, the less they have, relative to him.

You see a bit of this in Hawaii, where I’m from. Enough visiting rich people are willing to pay top dollar for property so the market costs go up, affecting the local’s buying power. That’s overly simplistic, but you get the point.

No I don't. What is your point?

 

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[ThirtyOne]

No I don't. What is your point?

OP wasn’t satisfied with “simple jealousy” as the explanation, the mindset that “you have something I don’t have.”

I tried to articulate the subconscious workings of jealousy. IMO, it has to do with “having more than another” which grants perceived or real relative power/control.

 

[jon.a]

OP wasn’t satisfied with “simple jealousy” as the explanation, the mindset that “you have something I don’t have.”

I tried to articulate the subconscious workings of jealousy. IMO, it has to do with “having more than another” which grants perceived or real relative power/control.

Okay sorry, my perception of your tone brought back my memories of being a military haole there in the early 80's.

 

[Puppy]

Hey guys thanks for all the response. I do feel like I need to clarify that I don't feel the way I titled this.

Personally I feel like I'm pretty rich even tho I make less than 20,000 a year. All my needs are met and I'm content with my ability to fulfill my wants. I haven't lived paycheck to paycheck in almost 10 years. (*that's such a great feeling) and Im very happy with my lifestyle.

I guess that's why its so hard for me to understand why other people feel the way I titled this. Its a sentiment I really can't comprehend. I didn't believe it could really be boiled down to jealousy. I thought there had to be more to it than that.

 

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[Puppy]

Also wanted to point out I'm not focused on this, that's why I put it in the off topic area. It was more of a curiosity of why do the lower class feel this way.

Like, is this attitude prevalent even among the wealthy? Do they hate on other people who have more assets? Does a successful business owner hate on the bigger business owner? Or is this something that is really only seen among the lower class income wise?

@Aaron T and @MJ DeMarco made one of the best points. One that I was hoping someone would delve into when I posted this. The role of the media in propagating and perpetuating this idea of craving wealth but hating those who have it. I find that interesting, why do they do it? What's in it for them? Why actively cause strife and ill will amongst people? Its like our culture is ment to hold people down and then taunt them. Strive for success and monetary wealth but if you do achieve it against the odds we will rip you apart and feed you to the starving public. There is something very wrong with the media and/or those who control it.

I want to be successful on my terms but I also fear what will happen if, no not if, when I am. I want to continue living a similar lifestyle that I currently do and I fear that will be ruined if it ever gets known that I have money.

Edit @Aaron T yes I have the book and I think that's why I'm questioning this attitude more. I think mj explains it fairly well but he's only one person and I wanted to see the perception/conclusions of others as well. I always wrote off the I hate rich people attitude as a sign of a stupid person that can't see the forest for the trees.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

It was more of a curiosity of why do the lower class feel this way.

Because they've been brainwashed to believe that. Victims can be controlled and manipulated.

craving wealth but hating those who have it.

About as asinine as hating businesses, but loving jobs.

The parallel being propagandized to hate mothers, but to love their babies, not realizing one creates the other.

 

[Puppy]

I get it but I don't understand it. I can't understand it because I know its asinine and wrong. It's not how I think.

Not gonna lie, the 5 year old in me is still asking "but why?". The adult in me is gonna count my blessings I'm lucky enough to see it differently and found a good group of people here to move forward with. I'm hoping my future progress threads will reflect this. With these gifts I have no reason to fail except thru my own lack of trying.

@MJ DeMarco, I know you're just a man like the rest of us but still I feel honored you came by to comment in my post. Thank you for writing these books and creating this forum.

 

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[Striver]

I don't hate the rich(nor anyone else). Can't relate.

 

[Niptuck MD]

Money is not evil. Nor is the “love of money”. It’s the “lust” for money and violation of moral, ethics etc that changes and alters mankind....

Most of us on here that is not our intentions. We just want to create value, serve and solve problems.... We are not corporatises or savages albeit we are competitions and proud capitalists with respect for humanity and environment.

 

[Aaron T]

For me it was summed up in one fateful restaurant visit.

I went to a fairly nice restaurant in Kansas City. Beautiful city with a great arts and food scene so I highly recommend a visit there. Anyway, the restaurant had a valet and I was driving one of my rarer sports cars. Maybe flashy, but it was what I was in the mood for and I love good food, and fast cars. I refused valet, but I tipped the guy well and he let me park the car in the front where I can keep an eye on it. The Plaza area is known for crime in as much as it is known for high end shopping and dining. So I wanted to make sure I could see the vehicle. As mentioned it was a fairly rare car.

Anyway, as I was sitting near the front and observing, this guy was walking around the car, took a few snaps, then entered the restaurant with his lady. They were waiting at the bar which was near the front and not far from where I was sitting. He was very loudly talking to his lady and others about the entitled a**hole that feels he could park his car right up front just because it is nice. How any car should be allowed there. What kind of a**hole would do that.

Now mind you, I am kinda used to these things from time to time, but I was geeze I didn't feel entitled at all. I actually paid the valet very well for the privilege of putting my car there and I am pretty sure he didn't mind it at all. I have been known to tip very well to those that provide service, because folks that is some hard work if there ever was any. I have tipped to put my normal cars up front. My choice.

Anyway, he spent a solid 30 bitching about it, and I just forgot about it and enjoyed my dinner. I was there alone for the food and not to show off even if the car felt good to drive and own. I am sorry. It is a bit of a peacock move, but I enjoy going out dressed nice, in a nice car.

So after my dinner and drinks I left, and guess who is behind me at the valet.. That guy. He was leaving the same time, and after I gave the Valet another nice tip for keeping an eye on the car, he gave me the keys and I walked over to leave. That guy was right there behind me. Asked me all kinds of smart questions about the car. Wanted to get a pic of the interior too. Asked if he could get a pic of his lady in front of the vehicle. Kind of was a nice person and fan of it. Wasn't this guy slamming my entitlement? He even called me an a**hole to park my car upfront.

TL;DR
People want all the nice things, but without putting in the effort, are jealous the people that have them.

What is interesting is when I meet other people working on their life and doing what they can to get on the fastlane, they rarely if ever act like this. Mostly because they know they will have it and it is only a matter of time.

Also truth be told, I care less for these things now that I used to and I learned to value my time and trips more. I wish I knew this when I was younger, but I was more focused on things then. That was a waste of time for me.

 

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[Niptuck MD]

For me it was summed up in one fateful restaurant visit.

I went to a fairly nice restaurant in Kansas City. Beautiful city with a great arts and food scene so I highly recommend a visit there. Anyway, the restaurant had a valet and I was driving one of my rarer sports cars. Maybe flashy, but it was what I was in the mood for and I love good food, and fast cars. I refused valet, but I tipped the guy well and he let me park the car in the front where I can keep an eye on it. The Plaza area is known for crime in as much as it is known for high end shopping and dining. So I wanted to make sure I could see the vehicle. As mentioned it was a fairly rare car.

Anyway, as I was sitting near the front and observing, this guy was walking around the car, took a few snaps, then entered the restaurant with his lady. They were waiting at the bar which was near the front and not far from where I was sitting. He was very loudly talking to his lady and others about the entitled a**hole that feels he could park his car right up front just because it is nice. How any car should be allowed there. What kind of a**hole would do that.

Now mind you, I am kinda used to these things from time to time, but I was geeze I didn't feel entitled at all. I actually paid the valet very well for the privilege of putting my car there and I am pretty sure he didn't mind it at all. I have been known to tip very well to those that provide service, because folks that is some hard work if there ever was any. I have tipped to put my normal cars up front. My choice.

Anyway, he spent a solid 30 bitching about it, and I just forgot about it and enjoyed my dinner. I was there alone for the food and not to show off even if the car felt good to drive and own. I am sorry. It is a bit of a peacock move, but I enjoy going out dressed nice, in a nice car.

So after my dinner and drinks I left, and guess who is behind me at the valet.. That guy. He was leaving the same time, and after I gave the Valet another nice tip for keeping an eye on the car, he gave me the keys and I walked over to leave. That guy was right there behind me. Asked me all kinds of smart questions about the car. Wanted to get a pic of the interior too. Asked if he could get a pic of his lady in front of the vehicle. Kind of was a nice person and fan of it. Wasn't this guy slamming my entitlement? He even called me an a**hole to park my car upfront.

TL;DR
People want all the nice things, but without putting in the effort, are jealous the people that have them.

What is interesting is when I meet other people working on their life and doing what they can to get on the fastlane, they rarely if ever act like this. Mostly because they know they will have it and it is only a matter of time.

Also truth be told, I care less for these things now that I used to and I learned to value my time and trips more. I wish I knew this when I was younger, but I was more focused on things then. That was a waste of time for me.

Thank you for the story; i hope to follow suit someday and instead of a sports car (i am too big haha wont be able to fit in one unless its a Bentley Muslanne lol) one of my lifted trucks from work and then see if anyone would talk shit to my face. Someone on this forum said,

People usually hate other people because they have something other people don't have. It's much easier to hate than to work hard.

 

[Aaron T]

see if anyone would talk shit to my face.

I should be clear in that he didn't do it to my face. He was talking to his lady at the bar waiting for his reservation while I was sitting at my table nearby. Maybe he was telling whoever else would listen to him. I don't really know. It was kind of surreal.

As for trucks I never got into them, but I am needing to get one for when I actually need a truck. However near my home in California there is a place where there are all these sand dunes next to the beach, Grover Beach I think it is called. I can see it from my home in the distance. There are all sorts of fixed up trucks and dune buggies and that looks like an immense amount of fun to try. I have considered doing something like that for fun.

 

[rollerskates]

celebrities get hated on a lot for being too rich

I hate on them because they are, for the most part, quite stupid and people think what they have to say is important.

 

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[StevieB]

I had an ex that when I got a raise she would make some sarcastic comment about it and her sister made quite a bit more and always made demeaning comments from time to time behind her back. She got better about it over time, but what it boils down to is they use it as a defense mechanism for not achieving what the others have and what they don't have.

In other words, low self-esteem lashing out in defense of their own failures. They want it but don't have it, so therefore the 'rich person' must have done something unimaginably unethical to obtain it, which is why they could never possibly be rich.

It's just a defense mechanism to shield their failures and passing off personal responsibility onto an abstract "unethical" thing they could never do.

Ignore them and move on. Usually it's people who are lazy that are this way, this gives them excuse to continue being the way they are.

 

[ThirtyOne]

Okay sorry, my perception of your tone brought back my memories of being a military haole there in the early 80's.

No problem. Although, now you've peaked my interest in your experience. I wanna hear the story sometime.

 

[jon.a]

No problem. Although, now you've peaked my interest in your experience. I wanna hear the story sometime.

No specific story just a lot of local prejudice.

 

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[ThirtyOne]

No specific story just a lot of local prejudice.

Ah yeah. That's definitely there. So strange that in the same culture there can exist another such powerful one of openness, welcoming and aloha. I've seen both. A few bad apples make the whole bunch seem sour.

 

[luniac]

if there's anything i learned over the years that gives me peace is what Arnold Schwarzenegger said
Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
and what the Greek Epicurean philosophy promotes:
What is good is easy to get

i used to wanna be rich... now i just want my bills paid... anythin else is just icing on the cake.
being jealous of rich people is silly, once the elation wears off, the "richness" itself does nothin for a person.
I could be wrong though cause ive never been rich lol

 

[samsig03]

From my experience there're 2 types of rich people: 1) the one that talks about their toys, successful business ventures, ivy league education and expensive trips and makes you feel smaller than constantly. 2) The one that doesn't talk about heir toys, business ventures, ivy league education or expensive trips and asks you the questions and genuinely wants to get you know you.

So yea if every rich person was like example 1, I would say I do not like rich people. I strive to be example 2.

*My experience is from 8 years volunteering and working with non-profits that receive money/donations from these rich people.

 

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[ALC]

As a car enthusiast, from Paris (near), we usually go one sunday a month for a roadtrip/little balade with our cars, driving to nice locations in the forest, passing by big houses, racing each others in our cars, i don't envy them, i want to be them in a kind of way.

Some of these people own multiple supercars (30,40yo retired..fastlaners), some just few GT cars, but most of them are up the 1 million worth barrier, but i can tell you one thing, they are are some much more interesting than the people i work with everyday !
They give some priceless advices, told what they've done to be there and what didn't worked..letting me try their Ferrari..
You just want to be them, some has launched several restaurants/cafés (my actual path) , some developped R.E Agency franchise... they've just done the work while being young and now they enjoy working way less than before and enjoying life.

BUT like @samsig03 said, i much more interested by the type 2 than the type 1.
I just love simple people, sharing the same interest

 

[Niptuck MD]

I should be clear in that he didn't do it to my face. He was talking to his lady at the bar waiting for his reservation while I was sitting at my table nearby. Maybe he was telling whoever else would listen to him. I don't really know. It was kind of surreal.

As for trucks I never got into them, but I am needing to get one for when I actually need a truck. However near my home in California there is a place where there are all these sand dunes next to the beach, Grover Beach I think it is called. I can see it from my home in the distance. There are all sorts of fixed up trucks and dune buggies and that looks like an immense amount of fun to try. I have considered doing something like that for fun.

Yes. Now dont get me wrong, there are a lot "daddy's money trucks out there driven by punkers ages 14-24" that give us truck enthusiasts a bad rap and name... however for those of us who grew up around big tractors and big rigs and come from a lineage of trucking and manual labour, it is a way of life haha. Hope you get a truck as it will be extremely useful at anytime. Trucking and offroading is my forte and the premise of one of my businesses btw. I would be glad to give you any pointers and advice about anything related to these industries...