Calling all copywriters!

[100k]

I'm working on a little project and I need your help!

Help me turn this short copy from average to AMAZING!

Do not have any cash to offer you; but if you are feeling generous and have a little bit of time, why not exercise your copywriting muscle a bit and see what you can come up with.

Need Carpet & Flooring For Your New Home? – CALLTRAXX

Thanks a million!

John

 

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[Ninjakid]

Sure why not. I'm feeling generous. I'll PM you what I come up with

 

[focusedlife]

I'm working on a little project and I need your help!

Help me turn this short copy from average to AMAZING!

Do not have any cash to offer you; but if you are feeling generous and have a little bit of time, why not exercise your copywriting muscle a bit and see what you can come up with.

Need Carpet & Flooring For Your New Home? – CALLTRAXX

Thanks a million!

John

Here you go, John.

Totally hope this helps:

Message me if you want the html code for this lander.

Was this useful?

 

[100k]

Sure why not. I'm feeling generous. I'll PM you what I come up with

Much obliged sir, I appreciate it.

 

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[100k]

Here you go, John.

Totally hope this helps:

Message me if you want the html code for this lander.

Was this useful?

Hey,

thanks for taking the time to whip that up!

I've gone ahead and implemented some changes based on your feedback.

I'm using wordpress so I can only do so much design-wise as I'm not a theme developer.

The client doesn't want me to capture any of the leads info myself - its a strictly call only campaign.

I'm using Facebook ads to generate traffic - and 99% of the traffic will be surfing on their mobile phones.

Thanks again for the feedback.

Edit: I've created a 2nd page for testing; Half Price Sale On Carpets & Hardwood –

The traffic is cold and they are unfamiliar with me/the brand (I'm not using their client's brand).

So this is how I introduce myself to them (with a funny video) - as you said, when they don't know you ... you need to evoke an emotion .... laughter is an emotion, right?

Beautiful Home Improvements

And I'll re-target those that watch 50% of the video with this ad that I just created (that will go to the new landing page I created based on your video - thnx again).

Beautiful Home Improvements

 

[Mac]

Headline A: Local <insert town/city name> Flooring Company is Offering 50% OFF a Premium Floor Replacement Service For New Customers...

Headline B: Get Your Flooring Replaced For 50% OFF... Even If You Want Premium Laminate, Hardwood Or a Fresh New Rug

• We can install all flooring types (vinyl, hardwood and even laminate)
• (use same bullets as focused life)
• Discount voucher is only valid until the end of this week. (or use another form of time-based scarcity)

BONUS OFFER: Plus... claim your discount voucher today to receive an additional 50% OFF a basic installation, standard padding and materials!

You could use LeadPages or ClickFunnels, much easier to implement. Or at least ThriveThemes if using WordPress.

Much easier to whip together if you're not a developer.

 

[Ninjakid]

I changed my mind, I thought I would upload here so everyone can enjoy it, and maybe get constructive criticism from any copywriting OG's in the house.

Here are some things I've changed. Don't mind any criticism, I'm just saying why I wrote what I did

One thing you'll notice is I changed "half price" to "50% off." The reason for that is because even though they're the same, the latter focuses on what the customer is saving while the former says what they're still paying.

I also left out the part where it said if the operator is busy, try again in few minutes. People can tell if a line is busy so needing to point it out seems a little... desperate?

Anyways let me know honestly what you think!

EDIT: to save anyone curious the time of downloading and opening a word doc (first world problems right?) here it is copy and pasted



Home is where the heart is, and we believe your heart should have a nice home.

So because of our own generous hearts, we're offering 50% off for select styles of vinyl, carpet, laminate and hardwood flooring for one week.

And to make things even better, this includes basic installation, standard padding, and materials.

We don't want to rush you, but we only have so much of each style. Best to get yours while it's available, right?

And don't worry, no one's being left out. We have service and branches nationwide.

Just call the toll-free number below, and we'll hook you up right away!

 

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[garyjsmith]

I changed my mind, I thought I would upload here so everyone can enjoy it, and maybe get constructive criticism from any copywriting OG's in the house.

I'm glad you did, because I was hoping you would. Very nice work.

 

[Ninjakid]

I'm glad you did, because I was hoping you would. Very nice work.

Thanks man! I just thought to myself, "why would I send it as a PM instead of just post it here? Makes no sense..."

 

[100k]

Thanks for your efforts. Keep practicing copywriting and direct response.

 

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