How do I go from a wish to burning desire?

[P3HSB]

You need a "F*ck THIS" EVENT (FTE) moment. You don't want it as bad...otherwise you would of taken proceeding actions

 

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[Andy Black]

I know this is not a current post. You are viewing the frustration as a problem. Accept this emotion not as a problem, but as something you are telling yourself. Take in the full feeling. Understand what the feeling really means. Then let it go.... Do this each time you feel the emotion. Clarity will come to you.

I know it sounds silly but give it a whirl.

You think you want something here. In reality, you want something else.

Take some time to really assess your situation. Calm your mind first. Then listen to yourself.

Burning desire will go away. It is not what is needed either.

^^^ This!



If you're procrastinating, suffering from perfectionism, or "lazy", then maybe it's for a reason. Maybe you don't actually want to do the thing you think you want to do. Maybe your head is getting filled with other people's dreams (or sales copy).

Andy, follow XYZ blueprint and you'll make money in your sleep and never have to speak to clients again. Errr... but I like speaking to clients.

Andy, follow ABC blueprint and you can have the hammock and laptop lifestyle. Errr... but I don't want to live on a beach.

If you don't want the outcome then you'll sabotage your efforts.


Sometimes though, your resistance is the part of your brain that doesn't want change, even if it's for the better.

So the trick is understanding yourself and knowing when you're held back by fear, or held back because your gut knows better than you that you don't want the outcome.


Once you find your path though, then *welcome* each obstacle in your way - because they're stepping stones in disguise as well as barriers to entry.


tl;dr?

Pick a direction. Get started. Keep going.


(It's a shame OP hasn't visited the forum in the last two weeks since he/she opened the thread...)

 

[Leo Hendrix]

Try these two books: The Magic of Thinking Big & The New Psycho Cybernetics

 

[MetalGear]

Take action

 

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[Setting up shop]

OP is here......I've been working 7 days a week recently. (10-12 hour days)

Seriously, thanks for all the great responses. There's a ton of good stuff to read and re-read.

A few responses eluded to the fact that I didn't want it badly enough, here's my rebuttal.

So many times I've been F*cked over at my previous job.....I'm mad for a day and swear this is the last time.(I get crazy mad)
Well its never the last time, I calm down and go back to be taken advantage of again.

I've drawn the conclusion that I have a very high tolerance for psychological pain/stress.(aka......I'm able to put up with a lot of shit!)
It seems my brain takes a lot of torture until it reaches the turning point or as P3HSB said: "F*ck THIS" EVENT.

OR

99% of the folks here probably couldn't be in professional sports.(NFL, NHL, European soccer etc)
Are we wrong to think that anyone can succeed in business?
Like pro sports, is business the same, do we have to be wired for business like pro atheletes are wired?
Or how about singers/actors. I'm not wired for either of these professions.

 

[LuckyPup]

OP is here......I've been working 7 days a week recently. (10-12 hour days)

Seriously, thanks for all the great responses. There's a ton of good stuff to read and re-read.

A few responses eluded to the fact that I didn't want it badly enough, here's my rebuttal.

So many times I've been F*cked over at my previous job.....I'm mad for a day and swear this is the last time.(I get crazy mad)
Well its never the last time, I calm down and go back to be taken advantage of again.

I've drawn the conclusion that I have a very high tolerance for psychological pain/stress.(aka......I'm able to put up with a lot of shit!)
It seems my brain takes a lot of torture until it reaches the turning point or as P3HSB said: "F*ck THIS" EVENT.

OR

99% of the folks here probably couldn't be in professional sports.(NFL, NHL, European soccer etc)
Are we wrong to think that anyone can succeed in business?
Like pro sports, is business the same, do we have to be wired for business like pro atheletes are wired?
Or how about singers/actors. I'm not wired for either of these professions.

I have asked myself this same question. My answer is that yes, some people have a better head for aspects of business - finance, marketing, sales, tech, etc. - than others. Others also have more of a risk taking personality, and studies have shown this to be a genetic trait. The person in whom these traits are naturally imbued does indeed have an advantage, simply because he/she doesn't need to expend the mental energy to hone them. But that's not to say talents or skills can't be learned and honed, or risk tolerance increased, and drive, desire and motivation can offset talent. So, in a nutshell, yes, I believe some people have a greater natural aptitude for entrepreneurship, but that doesn't mean that one who doesn't can't succeed.

I also think it's worth exploring what you call your high tolerance for taking shit. IMO this is what leads to the "boiling frog" phenomenon that somebody else alluded to in a previous post, and it can be an excuse for inaction.

*Aside - my earlier "kick you in the nuts" comment was purely in jest. I can use said kick as much as anyone.

 

[LuckyPup]

I have asked myself this same question. My answer is that yes, some people have a better head for aspects of business - finance, marketing, sales, tech, etc. - than others. Others also have more of a risk taking personality, and studies have shown this to be a genetic trait. The person in whom these traits are naturally imbued does indeed have an advantage, simply because he/she doesn't need to expend the mental energy to hone them. But that's not to say talents or skills can't be learned and honed, or risk tolerance increased, and drive, desire and motivation can offset talent. So, in a nutshell, yes, I believe some people have a greater natural aptitude for entrepreneurship, but that doesn't mean that one who doesn't can't succeed.

I also think it's worth exploring what you call your high tolerance for taking shit. IMO this is what leads to the "boiling frog" phenomenon that somebody else alluded to in a previous post, and it can be an excuse for inaction.

*Aside - my earlier "kick you in the nuts" comment was purely in jest. I can use said kick as much as anyone.

One more thing - I don't mean you should focus on your weaknesses, focus on your strengths. As some wise man once said, "If you focus on your weaknesses, all you end up with are stronger weaknesses."

Maybe I'm projecting, because I can relate so well to your challenge, but it really seems like you might benefit from doing some "self work." I know that sounds kum-ba-ya, but judging from your questions clarity appears to be an issue. Maybe doing something like taking the Strengths Finder, the Kolbe, DISC or some other self assessment might provide some clarity.

 

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[AgainstAllOdds]

A few responses eluded to the fact that I didn't want it badly enough, here's my rebuttal.

So many times I've been F*cked over at my previous job.....I'm mad for a day and swear this is the last time.(I get crazy mad)
Well its never the last time, I calm down and go back to be taken advantage of again.

I've drawn the conclusion that I have a very high tolerance for psychological pain/stress.(aka......I'm able to put up with a lot of shit!)
It seems my brain takes a lot of torture until it reaches the turning point or as P3HSB said: "F*ck THIS" EVENT.

OR

99% of the folks here probably couldn't be in professional sports.(NFL, NHL, European soccer etc)
Are we wrong to think that anyone can succeed in business?
Like pro sports, is business the same, do we have to be wired for business like pro atheletes are wired?
Or how about singers/actors. I'm not wired for either of these professions.

You're coming up with excuses for why you can't be successful. Stop being a pussy and start something.

Also re-read the stupid shit you wrote.

You wrote a few paragraph "rebuttal" (as you call it) arguing why you suck. That's some of the dumbest shit I've seen.

If you want to win, then F*cking win. If you want to be a loser, then be a loser.

 

[Greg R]

I am going to go with the less popular route here.

You weren't passionate about (insert childhood sport or activity here) until you tried it, and found out that you were good at it.

I think I tried maybe 15 (or more) different hobbies and sports growing up, but I only do two of them today. Playing the drums and cycling.

I didn't have passion for these things before I did them.

When I was six years old, I picked up my uncles drums sticks and started hit things around the house with them. Next thing I knew I had a drum set.

When I was for or five I learned how to ride a bicycle. Once I learned how, my parents had to physically remove me from my bike.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Comfort is a dream killer.

Amen.

"Show me a man with mediocre comfort and I'll show you a man who won't work to improve his situation."
- Unscripted , MJ DeMarco

Simply put, you haven't had an FTE, aka a "F*ck this event."

 

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[AustinS28]

OP is here......I've been working 7 days a week recently. (10-12 hour days)

Seriously, thanks for all the great responses. There's a ton of good stuff to read and re-read.

A few responses eluded to the fact that I didn't want it badly enough, here's my rebuttal.

So many times I've been F*cked over at my previous job.....I'm mad for a day and swear this is the last time.(I get crazy mad)
Well its never the last time, I calm down and go back to be taken advantage of again.

I've drawn the conclusion that I have a very high tolerance for psychological pain/stress.(aka......I'm able to put up with a lot of shit!)
It seems my brain takes a lot of torture until it reaches the turning point or as P3HSB said: "F*ck THIS" EVENT.

OR

99% of the folks here probably couldn't be in professional sports.(NFL, NHL, European soccer etc)
Are we wrong to think that anyone can succeed in business?
Like pro sports, is business the same, do we have to be wired for business like pro atheletes are wired?
Or how about singers/actors. I'm not wired for either of these professions.

I think the bolded is a self worth thing. Why do you deserve to get F*cked over? Why do you deserve to be taken advantage of again?

I've had self worth issues in the past I'm still working through them. I finally got to a point where I said, F*ck this, I'm too good for this shit. Do I still deal with bull shit? Actually not really being self employed, at least in the fact that the only limiting factor I now have is myself, not somebody else dictating my life. I gained the courage and back bone to stand up for myself and walk away from situations that didn't benefit my long term vision. It also gave me the guts to pursue opportunities outside of the box.

Your most valuable asset is you and while we all are working on putting ourselves as number one, once you understand your worth, I think it'll be key in pushing you to pursue the path you feel you deserve.

 

[YoungBroward]

You're coming up with excuses for why you can't be successful. Stop being a pussy and start something.

Also re-read the stupid shit you wrote.

You wrote a few paragraph "rebuttal" (as you call it) arguing why you suck. That's some of the dumbest shit I've seen.

If you want to win, then F*cking win. If you want to be a loser, then be a loser.

im not even the op but this was inspiring...

 

[SteveO]

99% of the folks here probably couldn't be in professional sports.(NFL, NHL, European soccer etc)
Are we wrong to think that anyone can succeed in business?
Like pro sports, is business the same, do we have to be wired for business like pro atheletes are wired?
Or how about singers/actors. I'm not wired for either of these professions.

How about backing this off from professional to competitive sports. There would probably be a ratio of 5-10% of the top performers related to reasonably successful business owners.

One thing that I have noticed about sports is that many of the gifted don't try hard enough. They are good enough to compete without the hard work or cannot quite find the motivation to do so. And guess what??? There are many less talented that rise to the top as a result of hard work and determination. Of course the cream that work hard are going to rise farther.

 

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[SteveO]

So many times I've been F*cked over at my previous job.....I'm mad for a day and swear this is the last time.(I get crazy mad)
Well its never the last time, I calm down and go back to be taken advantage of again.

Pure victim mentality. This is not a trait of most successful business owners.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

You're coming up with excuses for why you can't be successful. Stop being a pussy and start something.

Also re-read the stupid shit you wrote.

You wrote a few paragraph "rebuttal" (as you call it) arguing why you suck. That's some of the dumbest shit I've seen.

If you want to win, then F*cking win. If you want to be a loser, then be a loser.

Featured!

 

[The-J]

Not everyone can succeed in business, this is true. However, if you decide that you can't... you 100% can't.

I'm of the belief that the core business 'skill' someone can have is self efficacy: a belief that they are able to do what needs to be done. If you don't have this, you're not cut out to be an entrepreneur: period.

 

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[QDF]

Been doing a lot of searching and think I found whats been holding me back......I don't have a burning desire for something.
Its frustrating me because I want a better life (money freedom etc etc)

Logically I want it, but emotionally i'm indifferent.

It doesn't make sense to me. I don't enjoy getting up at 6 everyday and working a job I don't like,
yet I'm unable to raise my wishes to a burning desire to get out of the rat race!!

Is there professional help that would work(Hypnosis, psychology counselling, life coach) ?

Any feedback appreciated.

Momentum is the best motivation.

Build a habit of taking action. Build momentum.

 

[AgainstAllOdds]

Featured!

Appreciate it.

I felt like a jerk for writing that original post, but after reading two pages of this thread became irrationally angry when I realized OP was using this thread as a means for justifying failure.

I hate self-help gurus, but the one thing they preach that I'll agree with is that you need to believe in yourself before the market will. Hopefully @Setting up shop comes to understand that.

 

[Hyrum]

I joined TFLF a little under a year ago. Had big plans, rocket to the top, etc. Problem was, I was comfortable. Owned my own business that satisfies NEC, (but not ST). Make decent money, nice house that costs less than what I make per year, retirement fund I opened more for the tax write off than any real need, no real money worries. So ultimately, I didn't have much incentive to work on my fastlane stuff.

But I did, a little here, a little there. Kept plugging away at it every few weeks. And with every task accomplished, I got a little more excited. My thing was getting a little closer to being tangible instead of in my head. I finally got everything done on my list - there was literally nothing else I could have done to kick the can down the road another week or two. It was time to shit or get off the pot.

It's been about 2-3 weeks since I launched. I've gotten a few sales, a lot of traction, and a whole lot of new obstacles to overcome. But now, it is literally the only thing I can think of. I work my full 9 hour day and come home and almost immediately continue working on it until midnight or later. My wife complained, briefly, so I walked her through what I was doing and what had happened up to date. Now she is just as excited as I am and offers me her opinion on problems I'm working on. I still love my original business, but this is a whole different game I'm playing now. And it's exhilarating.

So, bottom line, if you don't have a burning desire to change your situation, that's not going to change until you start doing more than talking about it.

 

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[Andrew J.]

Not a long time ago I had the same problem.


Imagine everything good that happens in you your life, over the years , when you succeed your goals.


Imagine everything bad when you don’t. Exaggerate, imagine you being old and broke because you didn’t do something today. See everything that you fear at most.


Do that every day forever!


When the pain of not taking action is too big you will take action.

 

[Mattie]

Is there professional help that would work(Hypnosis, psychology counselling, life coach) ?

I think all the above is key ingredients. I think you just have to go find it! The answers come with education.

 

[Raoul Duke]

Appreciate it.

I felt like a jerk for writing that original post, but after reading two pages of this thread became irrationally angry when I realized OP was using this thread as a means for justifying failure.

I hate self-help gurus, but the one thing they preach that I'll agree with is that you need to believe in yourself before the market will. Hopefully @Setting up shop comes to understand that.

Never! Oh he mad. Didn't like the answers he received. tsk tsk.

Setting up shop was last seen: Monday at 11:17 AM

 

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[Guest34764]

Get kicked in the stomach hard enough.

 

[ArcherCarmic]

You're comparing your life now (event) to a dream life you've imagined you can have (event), while ignoring the simple fact that the process which got you to where you currently are will not guide you to where you want to go. You're giving yourself the mental satisfaction (read:masturbation) of day-dreaming yourself as an achiever and striver of this/these goal(s), instead of day-dreaming yourself DOING the THINGS you NEED TO DO TODAY to reach them.

I've been down the "motivation" rabbit hole and I can tell you, I've been motivated to buy books, to get organized, to plan and postulate. I've made promises to myself and filled entire calendars with activities. Motivation was never what got me results. Self-discipline was. Self-f*cking-discipline.

And before you now mentally rehearse to yourself "Oh well I guess I don't have self-discipline either, add that to the list of obstacles I need to overcome before I can start", remember that motivation is ethereal, abstract, and under the control of so many forces it's easier to say we have no real control at all. However, you CAN control your self-f*cking-discipline. It may be the single thing in your life you can control. Luckily, it's the only one you really need.

Don't have any you say? Yes, you do. It's just an "under-developed muscle" you have. How do you develop muscle tissue? By 1) feeding them what they need to regenerate (fuel) and 2) by putting them under progressive weight overload (challenge). So how do you develop your Self-Discipline muscle? By feeding it fuel (at the very least a belief in your own self-efficacy, your ability to do things) AND by practicing using it (Doing the things, think "action words"). Right now, today. Do the thing you know you should be doing whether you feel like it or not. You can make no excuses with this prescription. You either do the things or you don't. You can lie in bed at night and not be sure whether you were adequately motivated towards your dreams that day. You can't lie in bed and wonder whether do did the goddamn things you said you should do.

Do this for a while and the most wonderful thing happens. You'll give yourself a little itch, a little splinter of annoyance somewhere deep in your psyche that you just can't satiate until you DO THE THINGS YOU NEED TO DO TODAY, WHETHER YOU FEEL LIKE IT OR NOT. You're never going to always feel good about doing the things, and I think that's what some people imagine "motivation" being. Motivation is just having a reason. You've got that. What you need is momentum forward and Self-discipline will get you there.

Start small, learn to sacrifice small things and then bigger things in return for future rewards. You won't be sorry.

 

[SquatchMan]

Wish? Do you think a F*cking genie is gonna come out of a bottle and give you three wishes lol?

Have a plan and take massive action everyday. This shit isn't hard.

 

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[GMSI7D]

Been doing a lot of searching and think I found whats been holding me back......I don't have a burning desire for something.
Its frustrating me because I want a better life (money freedom etc etc)

Logically I want it, but emotionally i'm indifferent.

It doesn't make sense to me. I don't enjoy getting up at 6 everyday and working a job I don't like,
yet I'm unable to raise my wishes to a burning desire to get out of the rat race!!

Is there professional help that would work(Hypnosis, psychology counselling, life coach) ?

Any feedback appreciated.

maybe you should listen to that :

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoW_jAzZKcs



if you can't build rage in you after that, i think you will never go anywhere in life

guaranteed