Becoming a better human

[Ika]

REPORTS FOR THE OLD WEEK AND PLANS FOR THE NEW WEEK WILL BE POSTED ON MONDAY MORNINGS

Hello there!
Before I start the actual thread - I will try to write short and understandable sentences. In case someone spends their time reading these posts they rather be good! I tend to ramble around and create long, comlicated sentences - especially in English, which is not my native language (Hello from Germany!)

EDIT: I deleted the details - less to read and it secures my privacy. I got into detail while writing the thing at night.

Let's get started!

Info: I am 18 years old from Germany, I'm starting to study marketing next week. For the next three years, I neither have to worry about bills, paychecks or debt (thank you German Study laws).
This is a really priviledged oportunity and I want to make the best out of the 3 years.


Where I am now: Generally quite unhappy with a lot of parts of my life

I feel like I am surviving life, but I want to live my life. I don't take control about most parts, which is bad. I am where I am right now because of my (unconcious) choices to not take action.
During the past years I made some major shifts in my beliefs and values. But these parts have not changed yet:

• Nearly no friends: cut of negative people, now I am standing nearly alone.
  
• Unhealthy relationship with my body/look: anxiety about my body, bad posture
  
• Unhealthy mental health: unhappy, stressed, sometimes depressed, tired, unfocused etc
  
• No freedom: no money system backing me up, starting university soon.

Where I want to be: Beeing happy

I want to live my life. I want to (proudly) say to whatever happens in my life that it is the result of my actions.
DISCLAIMER: These goals read as events, stationary moments in life. I know that the way itself is a process without destination, but I want to come as close as possible.

• Friends: quality friends that I can create together, feeling that they value me in their life, spontanious friends
• Good relationship with my body: I am happy with my body but also try to create the best (healthiest) one possible.
  
• Good relationship with my mind: I want to have a more positive outlook on life. I want more confidence and less small voice telling me I suck. I want to be less dependent on others people opinion of me. Less overthinking and analysing.
• Freedom: I want to be free through my own business and assets. Free to do whatever the F*ck I want without asking anybody for permission.

How to get there:
In theory I understand that these processes only happen when I do daily shifts in my behavior, and all those small changes pile up to a change of my habits and beliefs.
"How you do anything is how you do everything" by @AndyBlack describes it perfectly
But in reality, it is hard to not fortget this when feeling down, low on energy or emotionaly.

• Friends I am starting University next week, which will allow me direct access to 50 people. Against my instincts and anxiety, I will try to be friendly to everyone, greet everyone and talk to the strangers in my courses (In Germany talking to strangers is seen a weird thing to do). Try to help others, try to include people that feel left out - in short make the other people be and feel important for me. Any other ideas?
• Body: Work out consistently. Find a more human way to drink 2l of milk daily. I tried affirmations, but they felt like lying to me.
• Mental Health: I have no idea. More sleep is a start, maybe meditation.
  
• Freedom: I had an idea for an online business, that will save time for its subscribers. Not fastlane in its beginnings, but perfect to learn the basics of business and sales, writing and networking. Start that and try to make it as big as possible, hopefully hire one or more people on the go.

There is no way someone read this far, but I still want to thank you for taking a look. It felt good to write everything down. I will try to give my updates a more positive spin and make them significantly shorter

Thank you,
Ika

 

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[Ika]

Update 1, 13.09.2016

Actions last week:

• Wrote a way too long progress thread
• Got a business idea. Since I can't access my pay pal right now I built the website on an old domain. 80% ready, made some major improvements in my writing and website programming.

Plans for this week (listed by priority):

1. Business: GOAL: GET A CUSTOMER - Pick a name, buy the domain, rebuild the website - that all won't take long. The site does not have to be perfect, I will improve it with feedback. Start cold calling potential customers - most likely cold emailing. My target are bloggers, it is easier to get an email adress or skype contact than a number. Improve on the go with my technique and overcome my fear to cold call someone. ADDITIONAL: Read through overly complicated law texts to find out how to tax my services. Find out how much I am allowed to make before the state cuts the help for raising a child.
2. Socialising: BE HAPPY ALONE - Do one activity a day alone without asking someone to join. Pick an activity that you would normally beg someone to come with you. I went biking and swimming today alone, which felt really good
3. Mental GET GOOD SLEEP - Turn off my electronics at around 22:30 and read (or do another calming activity) till 23:00 to go to bed relaxed. Wake up at 8 pm with an alarm (start of reducing my sleep).
4. Body: KEEP MY SCHEDULE ALIVE - That means working out every second day (need to be easy on my knees, only upper body days for me) and find a human way to drink two litres of milk a day This should be the easiest one

Thank you for reading, I really appreciate every tip or encouraging sentence you can give me to help me execute this week. Any feedback would help as well, if you think my plans are shit tell me!
Ika ​

 

[Johnny Le]

I think it's great that you're looking for a change! We all have some aspects in our lives that we need to work on. I also have a journal where I log daily to see how much I've progressed.

 

[Niptuck MD]

Update 1, 13.09.2016

Actions last week:

• Wrote a way too long progress thread
• Got a business idea. Since I can't access my pay pal right now I built the website on an old domain. 80% ready, made some major improvements in my writing and website programming.

Plans for this week (listed by priority):

1. Business: GOAL: GET A CUSTOMER - Pick a name, buy the domain, rebuild the website - that all won't take long. The site does not have to be perfect, I will improve it with feedback. Start cold calling potential customers - most likely cold emailing. My target are bloggers, it is easier to get an email adress or skype contact than a number. Improve on the go with my technique and overcome my fear to cold call someone. ADDITIONAL: Read through overly complicated law texts to find out how to tax my services. Find out how much I am allowed to make before the state cuts the help for raising a child.
2. Family: DO ONE TASK A DAY WITHOUT BEING ASKED TO - My hope is that without "fights" about chores or tasks our relationship will be better. ADDITIONAL: Explain my business idea and why I want to create something.
3. Socialising: BE HAPPY ALONE - Do one activity a day alone without asking someone to join. Pick an activity that you would normally beg someone to come with you. I went biking and swimming today alone, which felt really good
4. Mental GET GOOD SLEEP - Turn off my electronics at around 22:30 and read (or do another calming activity) till 23:00 to go to bed relaxed. Wake up at 8 pm with an alarm (start of reducing my sleep).
5. Body: KEEP MY SCHEDULE ALIVE - That means working out every second day (need to be easy on my knees, only upper body days for me) and find a human way to drink two litres of milk a day This should be the easiest one

Thank you for reading, I really appreciate every tip or encouraging sentence you can give me to help me execute this week. Any feedback would help as well, if you think my plans are shit tell me!
Ika ​

READ AND PROCESS AND THINK. Manifest that 3 pound organism that can bring you so much in your world. Best of luck and god bless

 

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[Ika]

I think it's great that you're looking for a change! We all have some aspects in our lives that we need to work on. I also have a journal where I log daily to see how much I've progressed.

Thank you for your words!

READ AND PROCESS AND THINK. Manifest that 3 pound organism that can bring you so much in your world. Best of luck and god bless

Reading and understanding is the easier part I think. I have to figure out how to implement the read lines into my life..
Thank you for your words!

 

[Ika]

Two mondays past without me showing up to this thread.

Have I abandonned my goals? Have I given up?

No


But I realised something:
If I want real, lasting change, it is not going to happen by doing the activity once a day. It is not going to happen by writing every activity down.
It is going to happen by simply doing the activity every day in every appropiate situation.

If I want to change my situation, I need to change myself because I got myself here. To change myself, I simply have to act and react the way I want to be - and not act right once a day.

So, without tracking my progress:
I tried to be as social as possible in the first week of college. Go towards people, talk to them. Thats not what I can do easily, but what I want to be. It feels like shit, yes - overcoming my mental barriers and that. But it feels good too - people are so happy to not make the first step, to not be alone. That alone makes it worth it.
I started running. Because I hate running. But it is easy to track and execute - and if I can do something I hate on a daily basis, the rest is easier.
I worked on my business. Out of all the emails I sent I got one interested person, but he has not bought the service. No problem, I learned in the process.
Started a better sleeping schedule. You get crazy looks if you wake up at 7am and classes start at 4pm. 9h of work
So, weekly updates don't make sense. I'm updating this thread whenever I feel something shareworthy has happend.