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Feeling Stuck and Depressed

Anything related to matters of the mind

gabeb1920

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Hi All,

This is probably more of a rant, not sure if there's an actual question but more I'm after general advice.

I'm also aware this will be a lot of whinging but it might help me work through my thoughts.

Basically I'm feeling depressed and stuck as the thread title. I earn a decent income around $150K working a 9-5 plus some overtime each week. I work for government and mostly remote, it's a role I've worked in for the last 6 years and I'm one of the most experienced members of the team. In-spite of the high income my wife and I live pay check to pay check with our 2 young kids, literally down to our last $5 and the fridge running low at the end of every fortnight. I also find that between helping around the house and sitting in front of my computer for work hours I don't have the free time or energy to do much else at the end of the day.

I find the combination of all of the above makes me disinclined to do the work. Working remotely I get away with not doing nearly as much as I could, I don't enjoy the work that I do but with the high income and living paycheck to paycheck I find it very hard to find something that pays as much.

I first read The Millionaire Fastlane in 2016 I think it was and joined here back then. I tried a few different ideas but struggled to do anything productive to move myself forward so stopped after only a year or so. I'm conscious that if I really want to change my circumstance and create the type of life I'd really like I'm not going to get there with incremental pay increases through a 9-5.

But I find I struggle to get the time and energy to do anything with that information. I know I need to start a business to build the life I want but I also don't quite know what to do next. And if I'm being honest I don't have the energy or motivation to put in the work.

So I feel stuck. I know my current path isn't enjoyable and won't get me the life I want. But I don't then change things to improve my life.

Haha and now I want to write "someone tell me step by step what I should do and also make it as easy as possible" and I know full well that's not the right attitude to have, it's not an attitude that will lead to success.

So how do I improve my attitude? How to I get the motivation and energy to change?

Feel totally stupid writing this :/
 
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Shono

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Some random thoughts.

How is it you are making $150k and are living paycheck to paycheck? Are you on top of your spending and budgeting, or are you spending excessively? Does your wife also bring in a decent paycheck? Is she also on board with the fastlane philosophy?

Do you feel complacent in your job, ie. do you have golden handcuffs attached to what you currently are doing? As Felix Dennis stated “There is absolutely nothing more likely to dampen the prospects of becoming rich than a nice, fat, regular salary check.” You could be self-sabotaging your prospects by being too comfortable and too attached to your current work routine, especially if you have been doing it for 6 years. Are you in enough pain to really venture forward with something fastlane? Are you willing to take the risks and be willing to fail publicly, even catastrophically, going off the beaten path?

I forget the name of the author, she was mentioned in 50 cents book Hustle Harder, Hustle Smarter. She was a single mother, supporting kids of her own, and worked 9-5, would bus to and from work, be home by 7 and would make dinner and put her kids to bed by 9 then write from 9-12 every day, and eventually won the nobel prize in literature. So I believe if you truly find something you can hone in on, it won't be a matter of energy. Maybe your lifestyle is also draining your energy? Are you eating a clean diet, getting sufficient sleep etc.?

If you are working remotely, you should be able to spend more time on the clock researching and planning for some sort of idea, and even work on it, and if not, try to find the passion outside of your work hours to put an hour or 2 in everyday. It will add up. It will also motivate you to finish your daily tasks so you have extra time to work on your ventures.
So I feel stuck. I know my current path isn't enjoyable and won't get me the life I want. But I don't then change things to improve my life.
If that is really true, then start digging deep into that negative feeling and use that as your motivation. Several gallop polls worldwide show that up to 86% of the population hates the job they have, so your situation is not unique. Your one huge advantage is that you are already here, on the right track, and can now use the negative feelings you have as fuel instead of just an afterthought.

When you are accustomed to a daily work schedule, your perception of time starts to become skewed, days blur into weeks, into months into years. You should develop a serious sense of urgency. It's not easy, there are no definite answers, you just have to start with what you have.

EDIT: Also MJ's 'the great rat race escape ' might be right up your alley too.
 
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EmotionEngine

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Basically I'm feeling depressed and stuck as the thread title. I earn a decent income around $150K working a 9-5 plus some overtime each week. I work for government and mostly remote, it's a role I've worked in for the last 6 years and I'm one of the most experienced members of the team. In-spite of the high income my wife and I live pay check to pay check with our 2 young kids, literally down to our last $5 and the fridge running low at the end of every fortnight.
I recommend getting your finances straight first so you're not living paycheck to paycheck on that giant salary. If you can't manage $150k, you won't be able to manage $1.5 million. Do that first before attempting to run a business, otherwise you risk sinking that endeavor. Don't put the cart before the horse.
 

Kevin88660

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Hi All,

This is probably more of a rant, not sure if there's an actual question but more I'm after general advice.

I'm also aware this will be a lot of whinging but it might help me work through my thoughts.

Basically I'm feeling depressed and stuck as the thread title. I earn a decent income around $150K working a 9-5 plus some overtime each week. I work for government and mostly remote, it's a role I've worked in for the last 6 years and I'm one of the most experienced members of the team. In-spite of the high income my wife and I live pay check to pay check with our 2 young kids, literally down to our last $5 and the fridge running low at the end of every fortnight. I also find that between helping around the house and sitting in front of my computer for work hours I don't have the free time or energy to do much else at the end of the day.

I find the combination of all of the above makes me disinclined to do the work. Working remotely I get away with not doing nearly as much as I could, I don't enjoy the work that I do but with the high income and living paycheck to paycheck I find it very hard to find something that pays as much.

I first read The Millionaire Fastlane in 2016 I think it was and joined here back then. I tried a few different ideas but struggled to do anything productive to move myself forward so stopped after only a year or so. I'm conscious that if I really want to change my circumstance and create the type of life I'd really like I'm not going to get there with incremental pay increases through a 9-5.

But I find I struggle to get the time and energy to do anything with that information. I know I need to start a business to build the life I want but I also don't quite know what to do next. And if I'm being honest I don't have the energy or motivation to put in the work.

So I feel stuck. I know my current path isn't enjoyable and won't get me the life I want. But I don't then change things to improve my life.

Haha and now I want to write "someone tell me step by step what I should do and also make it as easy as possible" and I know full well that's not the right attitude to have, it's not an attitude that will lead to success.

So how do I improve my attitude? How to I get the motivation and energy to change?

Feel totally stupid writing this :/
What is your after tax income and does your wife work?

$150k might not be a lot for a family of four in an expensive city, but you don’t have to force yourself to a state of with only five dollar in the bank account.
 
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Shono

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I recommend getting your finances straight first so you're not living paycheck to paycheck on that giant salary. If you can't manage $150k, you won't be able to manage $1.5 million. Do that first before attempting to run a business, otherwise you risk sinking that endeavor. Don't put the cart before the horse.
This is true. It would be a shame if that occurred. Just like those lottery winners who win millions, but due to their spending habits end up broke again. It is useful to practice frugality before you need to, especially for a budding entrepreneur.
 

Tau Ceti

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Nice to see a fellow Aussie here.

Now this may not be what you may want to hear, but I ll give you my 2 cents on your issue.

To build a successful business, you need a few things:
- an idea
- time to pursue it
- persistence

Now to get the idea, you need to start looking around you. What problems do you see? What frustrates you?
Start carrying a notebook and write things that you think could be done better. If not a notebook then use your phone and record the ideas.

Most people go through life with blinders on. Always busy listening to podcasts or looking at social media or watching Netflix. If that's you, then stop doing that. Remove social apps from your phone, stop watching the news. Forget about TV shows.

If you commute to work , use your commute time as your idea time. Let your mind wander and come up with ideas about businesses. Let your subconscious absorb the outside world.

I find that I get my best ideas when I look through the windows on the train or even in the shower.

Once you have a dozen ideas, try to expand on them. Do they make sense? Can you actually execute them? Can you learn the skills to execute them?

Once you have a few valid ideas, you need to start executing asap. Don't worry , most likely your first idea won't work, but you need to execute it nonetheless because each failure is getting you closer to the end goal.

You test and learn and fail.

But to do that you need time and unfortunately that is where most people give up. If you work during the day that means that you have to get time out from somewhere else. Usually that means you stay up after your wife and kids go to bed so you can work on your business.

That's what I do. I work nights and weekends on my business and I go to my job during the day.
You need to be careful to not burn out either so you still need to have down time.
I usually take Saturdays off. No computer and no phones allowed and spend thw whole day with my wife going for walks, talking, playing board games etc...

Finally you need persistence. 99% of people fail once and then give up. That's normal.
For most people failing s*cks and they rather go back their cosy job and forget about it all by binge watching Succession on HBO.

If you want to succeed, you need a Teflon armor. Failures and criticism shouldn't affect you.

That doesn't mean that you shouldn't listen to feedback, but if you have a vision, you should keep going by reminding yourself that the vision that you have for the business is all that matters.

Then you need to start selling your solution to anyone and everyone.
Money is the real validation. No money = No business.

Marketing is as important than building if not more. Reach out to your customers. Don't be afraid to talk to them.

The big companies out there don't give a crap about their customers. They have long wait times on the phone and respond to your emails after a few weeks.

I, on the other hand respond to my paid and free users within 8 hours( if I am sleeping) or less than 1 if I am awake. I give my users the best customer service possible. I treat them with respect even when they don't reciprocate.

Because of that, my boring service has a strong USP that I leverage to get new customers. Customer service is underrated in the 21st century yet it is very powerful IMHO.

Hope this helps and obviously, small disclaimer, I don't have all the answers. This response is based on what works for me currently, you should adapt it to your needs.
 

gabeb1920

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Some random thoughts.

How is it you are making $150k and are living paycheck to paycheck? Are you on top of your spending and budgeting, or are you spending excessively? Does your wife also bring in a decent paycheck? Is she also on board with the fastlane philosophy?

Do you feel complacent in your job, ie. do you have golden handcuffs attached to what you currently are doing? As Felix Dennis stated “There is absolutely nothing more likely to dampen the prospects of becoming rich than a nice, fat, regular salary check.” You could be self-sabotaging your prospects by being too comfortable and too attached to your current work routine, especially if you have been doing it for 6 years. Are you in enough pain to really venture forward with something fastlane? Are you willing to take the risks and be willing to fail catastrophically, even publicly, going off the beaten path?

I forget the name of the author, she was mentioned in 50 cents book Hustle Harder, Hustle Smarter. She was a single mother, supporting kids of her own, and worked 9-5, would bus to and from work, be home by 7 and would make dinner and put her kids to bed by 9 then write from 9-12 every day, and eventually won the nobel prize in literature. So I believe if you truly find something you can hone in on, it won't be a matter of energy. Maybe your lifestyle is also draining your energy? Are you eating a clean diet, getting sufficient sleep etc.?

If you are working remotely, you should be able to spend more time on the clock researching and planning for some sort of idea, and even work on it, and if not, try to find the passion outside of your work hours to put an hour or 2 in everyday. It will add up. It will also motivate you to finish your daily tasks so you have extra time to work on your ventures.

If that is really true, then start digging deep into that negative feeling and use that as your motivation.

When you are accustomed to a daily work schedule, your perception of time starts to become skewed, days blur into weeks, into months into years. You should develop a serious sense of urgency. It's not easy, there are no definite answers, you just have to start with what you have.

EDIT: Also MJ's 'the great rat race escape ' might be right up your alley too.
Thanks for the reply mate, you make a bunch of really good points.

Some actions I'm going to implement from your advice:
- I do need to improve my diet and sleep so I'll have more energy
- I will use some time when I'm working from home to work on a business. At this stage the only concrete action I can think of is reading TFF and brainstorm ideas. Without an idea I'm not sure what else I could do right now
- Work to get more leeway in my budget. It's been tough lately cause the wife hasn't been working and we are paying back some debts which is around $20K per year. That'll finish next April but even before then there's going to be room to cut back so we have more buffer.

I have read The Great Rat Race Escape and will revisit it for sure.

Thanks for the reply and the tips :)
 
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gabeb1920

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I recommend getting your finances straight first so you're not living paycheck to paycheck on that giant salary. If you can't manage $150k, you won't be able to manage $1.5 million. Do that first before attempting to run a business, otherwise you risk sinking that endeavor. Don't put the cart before the horse.
Great point, thanks for the reply :)

This is definitely something I need to sort ASAP. There are a couple of details that make it a bit hard at the moment but we could make improvements for sure.

Thanks mate :)
 

gabeb1920

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What is your after tax income and does your wife work?

$150k might not be a lot for a family of four in an expensive city, but you don’t have to force yourself to a state of with only five dollar in the bank account.
We don't live in an expensive city but we do rent and it's not cheap :/

A few more details:
- We've got twin 3 year old boys so there's some extra expenses there for nappies and day care
- We're paying down some debts so there's around $20-25K per year going to that which will finish up in April next year
- Wife hasn't worked for a few months but looks like she has something lined up starting in a week or 2 so that'll be some extra income
- And yeah, $150K is before tax so around $100K after I think

Thanks for the reply mate, appreciate it :)
 

gabeb1920

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Nice to see a fellow Aussie here.

Now this may not be what you may want to hear, but I ll give you my 2 cents on your issue.

To build a successful business, you need a few things:
- an idea
- time to pursue it
- persistence

Now to get the idea, you need to start looking around you. What problems do you see? What frustrates you?
Start carrying a notebook and write things that you think could be done better. If not a notebook then use your phone and record the ideas.

Most people go through life with blinders on. Always busy listening to podcasts or looking at social media or watching Netflix. If that's you, then stop doing that. Remove social apps from your phone, stop watching the news. Forget about TV shows.

If you commute to work , use your commute time as your idea time. Let your mind wander and come up with ideas about businesses. Let your subconscious absorb the outside world.

I find that I get my best ideas when I look through the windows on the train or even in the shower.

Once you have a dozen ideas, try to expand on them. Do they make sense? Can you actually execute them? Can you learn the skills to execute them?

Once you have a few valid ideas, you need to start executing asap. Don't worry , most likely your first idea won't work, but you need to execute it nonetheless because each failure is getting you closer to the end goal.

You test and learn and fail.

But to do that you need time and unfortunately that is where most people give up. If you work during the day that means that you have to get time out from somewhere else. Usually that means you stay up after your wife and kids go to bed so you can work on your business.

That's what I do. I work nights and weekends on my business and I go to my job during the day.
You need to be careful to not burn out either so you still need to have down time.
I usually take Saturdays off. No computer and no phones allowed and spend thw whole day with my wife going for walks, talking, playing board games etc...

Finally you need persistence. 99% of people fail once and then give up. That's normal.
For most people failing s*cks and they rather go back their cosy job and forget about it all by binge watching Succession on HBO.

If you want to succeed, you need a Teflon armor. Failures and criticism shouldn't affect you.

That doesn't mean that you shouldn't listen to feedback, but if you have a vision, you should keep going by reminding yourself that the vision that you have for the business is all that matters.

Then you need to start selling your solution to anyone and everyone.
Money is the real validation. No money = No business.

Marketing is as important than building if not more. Reach out to your customers. Don't be afraid to talk to them.

The big companies out there don't give a crap about their customers. They have long wait times on the phone and respond to your emails after a few weeks.

I, on the other hand respond to my paid and free users within 8 hours( if I am sleeping) or less than 1 if I am awake. I give my users the best customer service possible. I treat them with respect even when they don't reciprocate.

Because of that, my boring service has a strong USP that I leverage to get new customers. Customer service is underrated in the 21st century yet it is very powerful IMHO.

Hope this helps and obviously, small disclaimer, I don't have all the answers. This response is based on what works for me currently, you should adapt it to your needs.
Hi fellow Aussie :)

I do struggle finding the idea. I've recently gotten rid of social media from my phone, Instagram was my poison of choice :/
I do spend every spare minute I have listening to podcasts so maybe I should cut back on that? I've been doing it for years and it's always educational in some way like leadership or entrepreneurship or technology but maybe it is blinders on and I should have more down time to just think. I'm worried nothing would come out of it :/
Otherwise I spend about 1 hour each night watching YouTube, again trying to keep it somewhat educational, edutainment I think they call it maybe?

I think this needs to be one of my first steps, cutting back on the consumption of information and spending more time thinking, generating my own ideas and then creating things too, maybe also helping people though I'm always worried I'm just trading my time.

The rest of your points are good too:
- Dedicating time to work on business ideas
- Sticking with it even when it gets tough
- Giving it time to succeed, being patient

Thanks for the reply and tips mate. If you have any more suggestions about how to come up with ideas or where to start I'd be all ears :)
 
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Kevin88660

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We don't live in an expensive city but we do rent and it's not cheap :/

A few more details:
- We've got twin 3 year old boys so there's some extra expenses there for nappies and day care
- We're paying down some debts so there's around $20-25K per year going to that which will finish up in April next year
- Wife hasn't worked for a few months but looks like she has something lined up starting in a week or 2 so that'll be some extra income
- And yeah, $150K is before tax so around $100K after I think

Thanks for the reply mate, appreciate it :)
It sounds promising that she will start work soon and bring relief.

If necessary, extend the payment schedule for the 25k o/s debt. Paying a little more interest is always better than having a super tight cashflow which results in extreme mental stress and lack of options in life.
 

Isaac Odongo

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In Unscripted . I think it was Unscripted . MJ talks about a single father in the tech industry who who was also caring for a toddler while learning to make video games.

He did this after work, child in one hand, computer on the other hand. I am certain he was getting exhausted. Yet he did it. Seems he made some hundreds of thousands that way.

Then there was Vick on this same forum who was building luxury sun glasses. He would give it time in the evening before sleep. It eventually retired him.

Learn to work on your business even there is no motivation. Motivation will not be there everyday. Just start and keep going. Until it becomes your life.

Fitness might as well help you to have more energy at end of day. I don't know whether you already do this.
 

Lyzmin

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So how do I improve my attitude? How to I get the motivation and energy to change?

Are you in enough pain to really venture forward with something fastlane? Are you willing to take the risks and be willing to fail publicly, even catastrophically, going off the beaten path?

Great questions from fellow Fastlaners.
One more suggestion: Write out ALL your 'F*CK this' moments.
Your ultimate FTE will be your driver.

We either want to gain pleasure or avoid pain.
avoiding pain is 16 times stronger towards your 'lazy' brain.

Good luck to you on your continuing journey and try to enjoy it!
 
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heavy_industry

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Track your expenses and see where you're bleeding money.

If you're earning $150k / year + your wife's income, and the fridge is empty, there is a very serious problem with your financial strategy.

More money will not solve this problem, and in fact it will make it worse. If you get to $1MM a year and your behavior doesn't change, you'll be spending $1MM a year, and you'll still live paycheck to paycheck.

So how do I improve my attitude? How to I get the motivation and energy to change?
Fix your exercise, diet and sleep protocol.

Use your money to improve your health.

You will never achieve any of your goals if you're not healthy, happy, sharp, and full of energy.
 

gabeb1920

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In Unscripted . I think it was Unscripted . MJ talks about a single father in the tech industry who who was also caring for a toddler while learning to make video games.

He did this after work, child in one hand, computer on the other hand. I am certain he was getting exhausted. Yet he did it. Seems he made some hundreds of thousands that way.

Then there was Vick on this same forum who was building luxury sun glasses. He would give it time in the evening before sleep. It eventually retired him.

Learn to work on your business even there is no motivation. Motivation will not be there everyday. Just start and keep going. Until it becomes your life.

Fitness might as well help you to have more energy at end of day. I don't know whether you already do this.
You're right, I'm certainly not the first person to be working 9-5, have a family and also have dreams of a richer life. Lot's of people make sacrifices, work on their business after everyone else is asleep or before everyone else wakes up. I've got to be willing to do the same.

And I don't have my fitness under control. I'm obese and that is certainly affecting my energy levels. Gotta get that sorted as well.

Thanks for the reply.
 

gabeb1920

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Track your expenses and see where you're bleeding money.

If you're earning $150k / year + your wife's income, and the fridge is empty, there is a very serious problem with your financial strategy.

More money will not solve this problem, and in fact it will make it worse. If you get to $1MM a year and your behavior doesn't change, you'll be spending $1MM a year, and you'll still live paycheck to paycheck.


Fix your exercise, diet and sleep protocol.

Use your money to improve your health.

You will never achieve any of your goals if you're not healthy, happy, sharp, and full of energy.
Thanks for the reply :)

I do track my expenses and know where the money goes I'm just not sure where to cut back :/
Roughly 25% of my take home pay goes to debts. This will be reducing to around 20% in the next 2 months and then should be all paid back by April next year so that will help a lot.
We also spend 25% on rent and 17% on groceries. Both are a bit high but they also bring a lot to our lives and it does include things like nappies for the kids.
On the other hand car expenses are low as we own cheap cars outright and don't drive a lot so around 5%.
I think we might overspend on our utilities with that around 6%, I know my wife has a fairly large mobile repayment as part of that.
Around 7% goes to childcare fees.
The last 15% goes to a range of smaller individual expenses: haircuts, insurance, medical, Netflix, eating out, activities for the kids.

Biggest things that stand out to me are the debts, groceries and maybe a little bit on utilities. Debts we have a plan as long as we don't get into more debts as we're paying them off. Utilities are under contract to pay back the mobile handsets so kinda locked in for the next 2 years.
Groceries could be the best place for short term cutbacks.
Probably could cut back on some of the other 15% misc as well
Keen to know if anything else stands out to you.

And I am getting the message on health and fitness. It is something I've always struggled with, I am obese and don't eat well or do much exercise and my sleep isn't great with the young kids.
But I obviously need to make this a priority if I'm going to have more energy to pursue the other goals I have in life and to set a good example for my sons.

I'm going to start a progress thread here, I think there's a fitness category. I need to get this sorted.

Thanks for the feedback and advice.
 
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Private Witt

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Thanks for the reply :)

I do track my expenses and know where the money goes I'm just not sure where to cut back :/
Roughly 25% of my take home pay goes to debts. This will be reducing to around 20% in the next 2 months and then should be all paid back by April next year so that will help a lot.
We also spend 25% on rent and 17% on groceries. Both are a bit high but they also bring a lot to our lives and it does include things like nappies for the kids.
On the other hand car expenses are low as we own cheap cars outright and don't drive a lot so around 5%.
I think we might overspend on our utilities with that around 6%, I know my wife has a fairly large mobile repayment as part of that.
Around 7% goes to childcare fees.
The last 15% goes to a range of smaller individual expenses: haircuts, insurance, medical, Netflix, eating out, activities for the kids.

Biggest things that stand out to me are the debts, groceries and maybe a little bit on utilities. Debts we have a plan as long as we don't get into more debts as we're paying them off. Utilities are under contract to pay back the mobile handsets so kinda locked in for the next 2 years.
Groceries could be the best place for short term cutbacks.
Probably could cut back on some of the other 15% misc as well
Keen to know if anything else stands out to you.

And I am getting the message on health and fitness. It is something I've always struggled with, I am obese and don't eat well or do much exercise and my sleep isn't great with the young kids.
But I obviously need to make this a priority if I'm going to have more energy to pursue the other goals I have in life and to set a good example for my sons.

I'm going to start a progress thread here, I think there's a fitness category. I need to get this sorted.

Thanks for the feedback and advice.

I think starting with the groceries would save you a ton monthly and also make you eat much healthier. I just started a no red meat, no soda and no potatoes of any kind policy for 25 days and stopped going out as well. I never kept track of my food cost and decided to set a budget and go grocery store only and I'm sure I'm already saving around 500 a month and that as a single guy. I have ton of work to clean out diet but I feel so much better already and looking forward to seeing my weight at 3 months of this change.
 

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I think starting with the groceries would save you a ton monthly and also make you eat much healthier. I just started a no red meat, no soda and no potatoes of any kind policy for 25 days and stopped going out as well. I never kept track of my food cost and decided to set a budget and go grocery store only and I'm sure I'm already saving around 500 a month and that as a single guy. I have ton of work to clean out diet but I feel so much better already and looking forward to seeing my weight at 3 months of this change.
Thanks for the reply :)

I find it hard to cut down on groceries cause only a portion of it is mine and the rest is wife and kids. I've cut back for myself by trying to eat fairly cheap meals and buy cheaper cuts of meat for family dinners. Biggest part I'd say is the snacks for the kids which would also be healthier if we could switch to more fruit and less packaged foods. I'll chat to the wife about it to see if we can make some changes there and I'll report back.

Thanks for the feedback :)
 

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heavy_industry

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17% on groceries.
Stop buying processed garbage food and I promise you that this number will drop to less than 10%.

As a bonus, you and the entire family will be healthier and happier.

Buying sugar for the kids doesn't mean you love them. Quite the contrary: bad food habits developed during childhood will haunt them for the rest of their lives.

I am obese and don't eat well or do much exercise and my sleep isn't great with the young kids.
The good news is that now you've identified what causes the lack of energy and motivation. This kind of lifestyle can 100% cause neuroinflammation and impaired brain metabolism, which usually results in depression and/or other mental health problems.

This is not medical advice, but I would hop on a 0 carb diet and effortlessly shed all the fat by the end of 2023. Life will never be the same again.
 

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Hi fellow Aussie :)

I do struggle finding the idea. I've recently gotten rid of social media from my phone, Instagram was my poison of choice :/
I do spend every spare minute I have listening to podcasts so maybe I should cut back on that? I've been doing it for years and it's always educational in some way like leadership or entrepreneurship or technology but maybe it is blinders on and I should have more down time to just think. I'm worried nothing would come out of it :/
Otherwise I spend about 1 hour each night watching YouTube, again trying to keep it somewhat educational, edutainment I think they call it maybe?

I think this needs to be one of my first steps, cutting back on the consumption of information and spending more time thinking, generating my own ideas and then creating things too, maybe also helping people though I'm always worried I'm just trading my time.

The rest of your points are good too:
- Dedicating time to work on business ideas
- Sticking with it even when it gets tough
- Giving it time to succeed, being patient

Thanks for the reply and tips mate. If you have any more suggestions about how to come up with ideas or where to start I'd be all ears :)

Glad to hear my comment was useful.
I think those are the correct steps.

Information overload is a real problem and it can lead to analysis paralysis where you are always chasing the next book/podcast before starting anything.

As MJ said in another thread, at some point you have to stop reading about swimming and simply jump in the water and see what happens.

Trading time at the beginning is normal. I chat with my users regularly and send them detailed video walk-troughs and don't get paid for it. But that's what happens at the beginning to address the teething issues of a new business. As you improve the business =, these chats become less regular because the product becomes self explanatory.

Each call, each email is an opportunity to improve the product. Not time wasted.

For ideas, honestly, just start with something simple and do it very well.
Read this: Unbundling Craigslist Garners Big Funding - $8.87 Billion Raised to Date by Startups

Basically take a big successful service. Then find a small thing that they do but not so well. Then take that thing and make it a product but 10 times better.
Then charge money for it. That's how I came up with my current business.
 

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Hi All,

This is probably more of a rant, not sure if there's an actual question but more I'm after general advice.

I'm also aware this will be a lot of whinging but it might help me work through my thoughts.

Basically I'm feeling depressed and stuck as the thread title. I earn a decent income around $150K working a 9-5 plus some overtime each week. I work for government and mostly remote, it's a role I've worked in for the last 6 years and I'm one of the most experienced members of the team. In-spite of the high income my wife and I live pay check to pay check with our 2 young kids, literally down to our last $5 and the fridge running low at the end of every fortnight. I also find that between helping around the house and sitting in front of my computer for work hours I don't have the free time or energy to do much else at the end of the day.

I find the combination of all of the above makes me disinclined to do the work. Working remotely I get away with not doing nearly as much as I could, I don't enjoy the work that I do but with the high income and living paycheck to paycheck I find it very hard to find something that pays as much.

I first read The Millionaire Fastlane in 2016 I think it was and joined here back then. I tried a few different ideas but struggled to do anything productive to move myself forward so stopped after only a year or so. I'm conscious that if I really want to change my circumstance and create the type of life I'd really like I'm not going to get there with incremental pay increases through a 9-5.

But I find I struggle to get the time and energy to do anything with that information. I know I need to start a business to build the life I want but I also don't quite know what to do next. And if I'm being honest I don't have the energy or motivation to put in the work.

So I feel stuck. I know my current path isn't enjoyable and won't get me the life I want. But I don't then change things to improve my life.

Haha and now I want to write "someone tell me step by step what I should do and also make it as easy as possible" and I know full well that's not the right attitude to have, it's not an attitude that will lead to success.

So how do I improve my attitude? How to I get the motivation and energy to change?

Feel totally stupid writing this :/
That's it, you're working 9-5, you're stuck to your $150K/year income, and you can't break free. That's what happens when you take a job, especially for the Stooges. Be like me instead and never hold a job in your life. Then all you know is fighting for that income brother, because otherwise you ain't eating.

But you have it easy. Lazy around, work remote, get your $150K/year paycheck... no wonder you're not motivated. You're never going to be motivated like that. They give you just enough so that you can make other people's dreams happen and forget about your own.

Then you also have your family who is using you to maintain their lifestyle. So that's just the truth. You've given up control over your life, and you're no longer at the wheel. Now nobody wants to let you grab the wheel again. F*ck, just imagine what your wife would do if you'd go from making $150K/year to $40K/year in a business of your own – straight to the divorce courts, LOL!

This should be an example of how freedom is lost. Bit by bit, without even noticing what you're doing to yourself.

Having said this, your best bet is to focus on climbing up in your career. Also invest in real estate and start saving, stop your wife from buying stupid dresses and designer purses wtf. Work to get an executive position, build relationships with the real movers and shakers around, build high value skills, and at some point you may be able to break free without sacrificing your immediate income. But now you can't. You're tied up, so better get used to it for awhile and make the best out of it.

You work remote. No more holidays outside of places you can drive to. No more designer clothes and stupid shit. Instead save that income, buy property. If you rent, move yourself to a cheaper place. Start saving. You should live on $60K/year MAX!!, save the rest. In 10 years, you'll have saved $900K saved up, if you're investing that into property you'll do better than 99% of people for yourself.

For the rest of you – should be a good warning of what can happen, and how easily your dreams can be lost if you don't keep your hands on the steering wheel.
 
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Antifragile

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For whatever my opinion here is worth, this is what I think:

Manage your energy, not your schedule.

Picture this in your mind's eye. You are fit, successful, you just ran 10km to "recharge" and now your mind is sharp, colours around you are vivid. You are in a great mood.

Making money when your mind is clear is easier. Your mind can’t be clear today.

What can you do to today to move 1% closer to better life?

1. - fasting. You said you were overweight. Energy is required to carry all that “extra extra” right? Fast for 24 hrs now.

Did I say now? I meant NOW. Don’t wait for some magical “tomorrow”.

2. - breathing exercises, like Wim Hoff or anything you find for free on Youtube.

3. Cut out all sugar.

I bet in a week you’ll feel 2x the energy and even a big boost in motivation.


Edit: being blunt, I just don’t see how one can become an entrepreneur while having low energy levels. Before you embark on a marathon run, you need to get your mind and body ready for it.
 
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Antifragile

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Did you find breathing exercises helpful, and if so, what sort of help did they give you?

- energy boost
- improved mental state (happier instantly)
- improved (temporarily) athletic performance. With Wim Hoff you’ll likely do 2x the max pushups after breathing exercises than without them.
 
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Did you find breathing exercises helpful, and if so, what sort of help did they give you?
Try this, and see what happens.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tybOi4hjZFQ&ab_channel=WimHof


Sit on a sofa or bed.
When I first started doing this, I blacked out and hit my head on the hard floor. (lol)


- improved mental state (happier instantly)
During the breath hold, there is a 50% chance that I will start crying out of joy. I get overwhelmed by a huge sense of tranquility and gratitude.

I don't know what is the neurology behind this, but I've never experienced anything similar with any other form of meditation.
 

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Hi All,

This is probably more of a rant, not sure if there's an actual question but more I'm after general advice.

I'm also aware this will be a lot of whinging but it might help me work through my thoughts.

Basically I'm feeling depressed and stuck as the thread title. I earn a decent income around $150K working a 9-5 plus some overtime each week. I work for government and mostly remote, it's a role I've worked in for the last 6 years and I'm one of the most experienced members of the team. In-spite of the high income my wife and I live pay check to pay check with our 2 young kids, literally down to our last $5 and the fridge running low at the end of every fortnight. I also find that between helping around the house and sitting in front of my computer for work hours I don't have the free time or energy to do much else at the end of the day.

I find the combination of all of the above makes me disinclined to do the work. Working remotely I get away with not doing nearly as much as I could, I don't enjoy the work that I do but with the high income and living paycheck to paycheck I find it very hard to find something that pays as much.

I first read The Millionaire Fastlane in 2016 I think it was and joined here back then. I tried a few different ideas but struggled to do anything productive to move myself forward so stopped after only a year or so. I'm conscious that if I really want to change my circumstance and create the type of life I'd really like I'm not going to get there with incremental pay increases through a 9-5.

But I find I struggle to get the time and energy to do anything with that information. I know I need to start a business to build the life I want but I also don't quite know what to do next. And if I'm being honest I don't have the energy or motivation to put in the work.

So I feel stuck. I know my current path isn't enjoyable and won't get me the life I want. But I don't then change things to improve my life.

Haha and now I want to write "someone tell me step by step what I should do and also make it as easy as possible" and I know full well that's not the right attitude to have, it's not an attitude that will lead to success.

So how do I improve my attitude? How to I get the motivation and energy to change?

Feel totally stupid writing this :/
1_Sad-dog.jpg

Thats you. Sitting on the nail.
It doesnt hurt bad enough and you are stuck in mediocre comfort.

My advise.
Cut your costs, sell all things you dont need, stockpile some cash and quit the soulkiller job.
Essentially force yourself in a hard situation to break the routine.

OR, keep working till death, never enjoying an ounce of autonomy.
 

gabeb1920

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Stop buying processed garbage food and I promise you that this number will drop to less than 10%.

As a bonus, you and the entire family will be healthier and happier.

Buying sugar for the kids doesn't mean you love them. Quite the contrary: bad food habits developed during childhood will haunt them for the rest of their lives.


The good news is that now you've identified what causes the lack of energy and motivation. This kind of lifestyle can 100% cause neuroinflammation and impaired brain metabolism, which usually results in depression and/or other mental health problems.

This is not medical advice, but I would hop on a 0 carb diet and effortlessly shed all the fat by the end of 2023. Life will never be the same again.
I'm working to get my eating healthier which is good. My wife isn't interested at the moment but might come on board a bit as I get results. And the kids are tough, they're only 3 so don't yet know to ask for certain foods much. I find we don't buy sugary foods for them so much as foods of convenience so packaged crackers and chips. Certainly still not great for them and now I feel bad thinking about it :(
I'll have a chat to the wife and look to shift their eating to more whole foods, fruit and vegetables and less packaged stuff.

For my own diet I'm starting with a balanced macro breakdown tending higher protein and controlling the calories through less junk and smaller portions. I'm tracking the calories so we'll see how that goes for a bit but may adjust going forward if I struggle to see success.

Thanks for the reply and advice :)
 
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gabeb1920

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Try this, and see what happens.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tybOi4hjZFQ&ab_channel=WimHof


Sit on a sofa or bed.
When I first started doing this, I blacked out and hit my head on the hard floor. (lol)



During the breath hold, there is a 50% chance that I will start crying out of joy. I get overwhelmed by a huge sense of tranquility and gratitude.

I don't know what is the neurology behind this, but I've never experienced anything similar with any other form of meditation.
I tried this out just now and found it harder than I thought, even struggled with the first 1 minute breath hold but made it through that one, didn't make it through the other 2 without taking a breath. I'll work on it.

It certainly changed my feelings a bit, more tranquil and light headed. Didn't feel some of the benefits @Antifragile mentioned but I'll keep trying it.

Thanks @heavy_industry and @Antifragile for the suggestion :)
 

gabeb1920

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For whatever my opinion here is worth, this is what I think:

Manage your energy, not your schedule.

Picture this in your mind's eye. You are fit, successful, you just ran 10km to "recharge" and now your mind is sharp, colours around you are vivid. You are in a great mood.

Making money when your mind is clear is easier. Your mind can’t be clear today.

What can you do to today to move 1% closer to better life?

1. - fasting. You said you were overweight. Energy is required to carry all that “extra extra” right? Fast for 24 hrs now.

Did I say now? I meant NOW. Don’t wait for some magical “tomorrow”.

2. - breathing exercises, like Wim Hoff or anything you find for free on Youtube.

3. Cut out all sugar.

I bet in a week you’ll feel 2x the energy and even a big boost in motivation.


Edit: being blunt, I just don’t see how one can become an entrepreneur while having low energy levels. Before you embark on a marathon run, you need to get your mind and body ready for it.
Thanks for the reply :)

I really like the idea of managing energy instead of time, not quite sure how I might apply it but I'll keep thinking about it cause it certainly sounds useful.

And also your comment about how it's impossible to become an entrepreneur with low energy levels. Once again highlighting I need to get my health and energy sorted before I have any real hope of pursuing a business idea.

Thanks for the specific suggestions, I did try some of the breathing exercises and will keep doing those daily.

As for the dieting I've chosen to start with a balanced approach to macros and focus on calorie control through limiting junk food and smaller portions. I'll start with these but will consider fasting or completely removing sugar if I don't see success with this approach.

Thanks again for the advice and feedback :)
 

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