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24 Yo, Asperger and suicidal, my last hope are to change my life.

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Vipron

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Hi. I'm not sure why I post and come here, and I'm not sure what I have to tell precisely about my life, so I will just go with the flow.

I'm a 24 years old student living in Belgium, so sorry in advance for my bad english.

I'm born in a very catastrophic family. My father abandonned me when I was born, and he was a dangerous and alcoholic man. I grew up with my mom, but during my childhood my dad just never stopped sending death message to my mom, because he didn't want another kid and he "has no children". So I constantly lived with the constant fear of being killed by my father during my childhood, I was not allowed to go to school alone for example, I always needed to be with someone.
My mother became very depressed when I was a kid, because all of this was "my fault" according to her. So she told me for my entire life that if she knew, she'll never got married and she had prefered not having kids.

Of course she let myself starve for long period, she never really cared about me and I grew in a complete chaotic environment.


BUT, apparently I was good at school, with number. So I've worked hard because my absolute goal in life was to get out of that hell.
I studied and I have an accounting diploma. I'm currently studying to become an economist...

But I feel extremely bad and terrified about this future, because people are proud of me because when I'll finish my study I'm going to get a nice job, I will be well paid...

But it's been a long time that I read MJ DeMarco's book, and that I'm aware of the fact that this is nothing more than modern slavery, and I feel completely trapped and bad. I just hate my life, because I spent hours and hours studying the stock market by myself in hope to become a great trader, but the only thing I understood is that no one can predict the market.

Since two years, my life became a true nightmare.

Because I've never been truly loved when I was a child, today Love is absolutely the most important thing in my life above anything else, and my biggest dream, the only thing I truly hope in life is someday get married, and have children, and be in a calm and peaceful environment, because I want to know what this mean to have "a family".
But I've been betrayed by someone and I'm just completely destroyed mentally.


I just don't want to live anymore because I'd like to have enough money to have a family and don't have to work but I already read hundreds of books and I feel like I failed my life miserably.
I'm alone, I'm alone and I don't have any parents anymore, I have no family.

I already tried to suicide but I failed, I spent some time in psychiatry and I take antidepressant, + they give me Spravato, a special drug to make happy the desperate case like me.


I AM AWARE that the way you think affect the way you do thinks and that it's not good to think negatively, but I'm lost.
Everyday I think again about euthanasing myself (I don't like the word suicide) with helium, but I'm not ready yet.
I know I can perhaps change something...


But before, I was motivated by the idea of having money and become financially free because Freedom is really important. But now I see that I don't have anyone and no family so I'm feeling so lost.


I'd dream about lauching a business, making money just because it could help me have a family.

I don't know where to start anymore...
But I know that I should not let myself go down up to the point of dying, so that's why there is still a part of me who dream and who know that I should surround myself with entrepreneur people
 
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Mathuin

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Read TMF again.

MJ was in a similar situation (he was older than you at the time) and he came out on top.

You can too.
 

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Hi. I'm not sure why I post and come here, and I'm not sure what I have to tell precisely about my life, so I will just go with the flow.

I'm a 24 years old student living in Belgium, so sorry in advance for my bad english.

I'm born in a very catastrophic family. My father abandonned me when I was born, and he was a dangerous and alcoholic man. I grew up with my mom, but during my childhood my dad just never stopped sending death message to my mom, because he didn't want another kid and he "has no children". So I constantly lived with the constant fear of being killed by my father during my childhood, I was not allowed to go to school alone for example, I always needed to be with someone.
My mother became very depressed when I was a kid, because all of this was "my fault" according to her. So she told me for my entire life that if she knew, she'll never got married and she had prefered not having kids.

Of course she let myself starve for long period, she never really cared about me and I grew in a complete chaotic environment.


BUT, apparently I was good at school, with number. So I've worked hard because my absolute goal in life was to get out of that hell.
I studied and I have an accounting diploma. I'm currently studying to become an economist...

But I feel extremely bad and terrified about this future, because people are proud of me because when I'll finish my study I'm going to get a nice job, I will be well paid...

But it's been a long time that I read MJ DeMarco's book, and that I'm aware of the fact that this is nothing more than modern slavery, and I feel completely trapped and bad. I just hate my life, because I spent hours and hours studying the stock market by myself in hope to become a great trader, but the only thing I understood is that no one can predict the market.

Since two years, my life became a true nightmare.

Because I've never been truly loved when I was a child, today Love is absolutely the most important thing in my life above anything else, and my biggest dream, the only thing I truly hope in life is someday get married, and have children, and be in a calm and peaceful environment, because I want to know what this mean to have "a family".
But I've been betrayed by someone and I'm just completely destroyed mentally.


I just don't want to live anymore because I'd like to have enough money to have a family and don't have to work but I already read hundreds of books and I feel like I failed my life miserably.
I'm alone, I'm alone and I don't have any parents anymore, I have no family.

I already tried to suicide but I failed, I spent some time in psychiatry and I take antidepressant, + they give me Spravato, a special drug to make happy the desperate case like me.


I AM AWARE that the way you think affect the way you do thinks and that it's not good to think negatively, but I'm lost.
Everyday I think again about euthanasing myself (I don't like the word suicide) with helium, but I'm not ready yet.
I know I can perhaps change something...


But before, I was motivated by the idea of having money and become financially free because Freedom is really important. But now I see that I don't have anyone and no family so I'm feeling so lost.


I'd dream about lauching a business, making money just because it could help me have a family.

I don't know where to start anymore...
But I know that I should not let myself go down up to the point of dying, so that's why there is still a part of me who dream and who know that I should surround myself with entrepreneur people
Dear young man,

there is a new life out there for you! Be assured of that.
Your childhood may not have started out in the best circumstances, yet here you are, slowly making your way out.
It is normal to feel bad at times and even longer bouts of depression are very common. Do not give up hope just yet.
Therapy and medicine can only go so far in helping you out of the hell of depression. You had the right goals in mind by starting your studies and should not despair about the lack of freedom of a steady job.

Studying economy is a good start and even MJ DeMarco finished his studies before becoming an entrepreneur. If you are depressed, your mind catastrophizes, you know that. You have ample time to think about entrepreneurship until you finish your studies. Leave the financial markets alone for now, there will be too much volatility for it to be good for you.

1. Eat decently! Your brain is made up of the things you eat. Fish oil and vegetables will make your brain function better over the course of a few months.
2. Go out into the sun. Your body needs light. I am sure you are sitting on your laptop too much.
3. Go to a church. You need to hear that there is an entitity that loves you and has chosen you to live on this earth.
4. Study and make sure you finish college. You need structure and a plan for now.
5. Sleep regularly, have a daily schedule.
6. Try to meet some other people that are nice if you can.
7. Visit your doctors immediately and tell them this is not working. If you feel you are about to end your life, you should immediately call for help. You are much too young to throw your life away as an intelligent and promising person. Just imagine sitting in your garden watching your family in 20 years and thinking that you could have thrown away all of it.

Seek help and don't do anything to yourself as long as you are depressed, because your take on the situation is likely unrealistic.
 

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I wish I could help, but the situation is very entangled.

You've heard a lot of generic advice, such as eating better and exercising. Those are great things and will definitely help (especially exercise), but in your situation it would be a good idea to fix the problem from its root.

Please don't hurt yourself. You don't deserve it.
As desperate as things may seem, there is always something small that you can do to improve your life. Start taking small steps every day. Keep walking on the right path. You will slowly get out of the mire, and perhaps, eventually, you will find love.

Good luck.
 

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I'd dream about lauching a business, making money just because it could help me have a family.

I don't know where to start anymore...
How are you doing health and goal wise?

Are you working out, eating healthy, setting some personal goals that you want to accomplish? Forget about building business for now and get your life rolling in the right direction, mentally and physically. I know for a fact that if my headspace if is not in the right space, I will botch everything I do even if things are going well.

Perhaps go to the gym this week, aim to smile at a person every time you walk on the street, pick better food the next time you go off shopping, or say no to activities that kill your motivation(porn, games, gossiping, letting people push you over), etc. You know what will make you feel better as a person, you just need to listen to your gut.

The momentum you build by improving yourself slowly will spread to all areas of your life, and then you'll be in the right headspace to think bigger.

F*ck whatever people say about how you should live, do things, and behave. Forget all about it. They're regurgitating what was fed to them by unhappy people. As a result, they're unhappy gremlins too. Do what you need to become a better person and earn respect for yourself. I don't know you personally, and you know yourself better than I do. So you must ask yourself questions about what is it YOU want to do and get on doing them.

We get sad when we think too much.

When we are busy working on ourselves, goals, work, we don't have room to feel like we're victims. There's always a goal to reach, another mile to walk, another person to talk to.

I just don't want to live anymore because I'd like to have enough money to have a family and don't have to work but I already read hundreds of books and I feel like I failed my life miserably.
I'd dream about lauching a business, making money just because it could help me have a family.
I don't know where to start anymore...
But I know that I should not let myself go down up to the point of dying, so that's why there is still a part of me who dream and who know that I should surround myself with entrepreneur people
Stop f*cking lying to yourself. YOU WANT MORE. YOU DESIRE MORE. Say it boldly that you're sick of what your actions has led you to, and start doing things differently. Commit to doing things differently.

Insanity is doing the same thing and wishing for a different outcome.

I did the same thing when things did not work out for me two 2 years ago. I sat in the shower wishing things were different. I looked at my ceiling at night wondering why I was doing the things that I hated most. I wondered if it mattered if I existed or not.

I was too damn afraid to admit to myself that I want more and be willing to do whatever it takes to get it.

I know life has given you a bad hand my friend, and to that I understand. Life is not fair. And if you complain and not do anything about it, things won't change. It'll be just more of the same for the rest of your life. It is your responsibility to flip it around play all your bad cards out and still win it big. Just don't press the give up button. Things will always get better if you keep fighting, dreaming, and working your visions.

Look at what you wrote earlier. Then look at what you wrote at the end. YOU have dreams. YOU know you should not let yourself down. YOU know you want to make money to help your family. All else is irrelevant, let that desire consume you and become obsessed with it and kick the sad thoughts in the a$$. Bigger things are waiting for you if only you take responsibility of your life, problems, and whatever things that may try to stop you.

There is nothing stopping you but yourself.

If you want a better read to give you some direction here is my suggestion:

 
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Simon Angel

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Regarding Asperger's, Elon Musk has Asperger's and he's the richest man in the world and, from what I gather, seems to have full control over it and is highly functioning.

Now, in terms of the suffering you've endured - everyone suffers. Some more, others less. It's how you perceive it that matters.

Currently, you're in a victim mentality. And the only way to stop being a victim is to stop feeling like a victim.

All that shit that's happened to you is in the past. So what's the point of making the present bitter by constantly reliving those experiences?

Just let go of all that, there's nothing you can do to change what happened. The only thing you CAN change is what you're doing right now.

Death is probably boring as F*ck anyway. Change your beliefs about the world and yourself, and stick around. See what happens. Life is a gift.

Things will probably end up being much better than you've ever hoped for, but you gotta allow yourself to look at the good in life, not just the bad (even if that's what you've predominantly seen so far).

A movie I'd recommend to you 100% is Fight Club. It's right on topic and you're literally the target audience - young males who are fatherless and feel betrayed by society/the traditional route and are heavily depressed and suicidal. I know that because I'm the target audience as well.

Give it a go, it's pretty low effort to sit through it (the movie) and I'd go as far as saying it might end up being a life-changing experience for you at this point in your life. It was for me.
 
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Vipron

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Read TMF again.

MJ was in a similar situation (he was older than you at the time) and he came out on top.

You can too.
I will... In fact I didn't read it yet

I read unscipted and also the last one he did
 

Vipron

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Thanks for your reply...

And yes the problem with depression it's that I'm in a constant fight against my-self.
But I schedule my day in a smart way for now, and yes I need to focus absolutely on getting my diploma for now before the rest.

I'm unstable because at some moment I have the motivation, and at some other I'm lost in my negativity like yesterday.
But yes, I know I have to keep fighting.

I will watch Fight Club !

I really need to change my life and change things. I see a therapist regularly and he use hypnosis on me to help me overcome all of that.

I need to keep fighting, I need to keep fighting...
 

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If your therapist doesn’t know that everyday you think about killing yourself, you best tell him.

Losing someone close to you to suicide is one of the worst experiences there is. Don’t put anyone through that.

You need to get your mind in order before you can break free.
 
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Hang in there. You can turn things around.

Do you have any role models? They don't have to be people you know personally. It could be an athlete, a writer, a businessperson. Whatever. Find someone you admire and watch interviews of them, listen to them on podcasts, read their autobiography.

I think you may need some inspiration and motivation in your life. Find it. There is so much content online now.

When I was going through a rough patch before, I listened to Jocko Willink. Maybe he's not for everyone but he motivated me to pull myself out of a slump. I bought his books, listened to his motivational snippets and watched his YouTube vids. This was a short-term fix, but it pulled me out of the rut I was in.

Let me know if you need to chat. Just shoot me a message.
 

pappaishere

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Hi. I'm not sure why I post and come here, and I'm not sure what I have to tell precisely about my life, so I will just go with the flow.

I'm a 24 years old student living in Belgium, so sorry in advance for my bad english.

I'm born in a very catastrophic family. My father abandonned me when I was born, and he was a dangerous and alcoholic man. I grew up with my mom, but during my childhood my dad just never stopped sending death message to my mom, because he didn't want another kid and he "has no children". So I constantly lived with the constant fear of being killed by my father during my childhood, I was not allowed to go to school alone for example, I always needed to be with someone.
My mother became very depressed when I was a kid, because all of this was "my fault" according to her. So she told me for my entire life that if she knew, she'll never got married and she had prefered not having kids.

Of course she let myself starve for long period, she never really cared about me and I grew in a complete chaotic environment.


BUT, apparently I was good at school, with number. So I've worked hard because my absolute goal in life was to get out of that hell.
I studied and I have an accounting diploma. I'm currently studying to become an economist...

But I feel extremely bad and terrified about this future, because people are proud of me because when I'll finish my study I'm going to get a nice job, I will be well paid...

But it's been a long time that I read MJ DeMarco's book, and that I'm aware of the fact that this is nothing more than modern slavery, and I feel completely trapped and bad. I just hate my life, because I spent hours and hours studying the stock market by myself in hope to become a great trader, but the only thing I understood is that no one can predict the market.

Since two years, my life became a true nightmare.

Because I've never been truly loved when I was a child, today Love is absolutely the most important thing in my life above anything else, and my biggest dream, the only thing I truly hope in life is someday get married, and have children, and be in a calm and peaceful environment, because I want to know what this mean to have "a family".
But I've been betrayed by someone and I'm just completely destroyed mentally.


I just don't want to live anymore because I'd like to have enough money to have a family and don't have to work but I already read hundreds of books and I feel like I failed my life miserably.
I'm alone, I'm alone and I don't have any parents anymore, I have no family.

I already tried to suicide but I failed, I spent some time in psychiatry and I take antidepressant, + they give me Spravato, a special drug to make happy the desperate case like me.


I AM AWARE that the way you think affect the way you do thinks and that it's not good to think negatively, but I'm lost.
Everyday I think again about euthanasing myself (I don't like the word suicide) with helium, but I'm not ready yet.
I know I can perhaps change something...


But before, I was motivated by the idea of having money and become financially free because Freedom is really important. But now I see that I don't have anyone and no family so I'm feeling so lost.


I'd dream about lauching a business, making money just because it could help me have a family.

I don't know where to start anymore...
But I know that I should not let myself go down up to the point of dying, so that's why there is still a part of me who dream and who know that I should surround myself with entrepreneur people

Hey man, how is it going?

Your story is tough, for sure, all your childhood and stuff.

BUT I want to write another of your BUT at the beginning of your sentences, and that is:

But how strong are you now after all this suffering that you experienced? What can you beat after a life like this, and who can?

I mean, it was really hard, but you are alive, you are studying and you have all the chance to obtain what you want, a family in this case.

If you want a book to help your life situation, I suggest you buy the Power Of Now.

Maybe you are already read it. Gave another shot, and go deeper this time.

You remind me of a pirate named Whitebeard. He wanted so much a family, and finally, he made it.

Good luck and if you want someone to speak with, PM, no worries mate.
 

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If you want children don't take any anti depressant pill or any other 'thing'. Everything you are putting into your body, yours children will carry after you. So don't brake health of your unborn childs.

Thousand generations of people had to survive to just give you a life and you want to end it because you are unhappy with your life.
 
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Dear Vipron,

Thank you for asking for help!
I really want to help you and tell you what helped me in a depressing situation.
1) The book "One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way" by Robert Maurer helped me, please read it and gradually act on it
[I was completely consumed with a negative future, and this book gave me hope because it works!]
2) Do an information reset: give up the Internet for a week, you need to clear the information space and dopamine receptors
[When I did that, I managed to do a lot of useful things during the week: put together a big puzzle, cooked a meal, cleaned, watered the flowers, and took lots of walks]
3) Start exercising every day (you can do the usual push-ups, squats)
You can do very little, the main thing is to start
4) Try not to eat after 6 p.m., this will allow your body to recover more effectively during sleep and give you energy
5) Eat more fruits and vegetables
6) Take a contrast shower!
7) And try to start meditating, at least one minute a day
8) Cognitive psychotherapy can also help

And remember, one day everything will get better, because you act, and he who acts always gets results! If you don't understand something, ask, I'm with you.

Write back soon!
Lots of love,
Nikola
-----------------------
P.S. Sorry for english
 

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Hi. I'm not sure why I post and come here, and I'm not sure what I have to tell precisely about my life, so I will just go with the flow.

I'm a 24 years old student living in Belgium, so sorry in advance for my bad english.

I'm born in a very catastrophic family. My father abandonned me when I was born, and he was a dangerous and alcoholic man. I grew up with my mom, but during my childhood my dad just never stopped sending death message to my mom, because he didn't want another kid and he "has no children". So I constantly lived with the constant fear of being killed by my father during my childhood, I was not allowed to go to school alone for example, I always needed to be with someone.
My mother became very depressed when I was a kid, because all of this was "my fault" according to her. So she told me for my entire life that if she knew, she'll never got married and she had prefered not having kids.

Of course she let myself starve for long period, she never really cared about me and I grew in a complete chaotic environment.


BUT, apparently I was good at school, with number. So I've worked hard because my absolute goal in life was to get out of that hell.
I studied and I have an accounting diploma. I'm currently studying to become an economist...

But I feel extremely bad and terrified about this future, because people are proud of me because when I'll finish my study I'm going to get a nice job, I will be well paid...

But it's been a long time that I read MJ DeMarco's book, and that I'm aware of the fact that this is nothing more than modern slavery, and I feel completely trapped and bad. I just hate my life, because I spent hours and hours studying the stock market by myself in hope to become a great trader, but the only thing I understood is that no one can predict the market.

Since two years, my life became a true nightmare.

Because I've never been truly loved when I was a child, today Love is absolutely the most important thing in my life above anything else, and my biggest dream, the only thing I truly hope in life is someday get married, and have children, and be in a calm and peaceful environment, because I want to know what this mean to have "a family".
But I've been betrayed by someone and I'm just completely destroyed mentally.


I just don't want to live anymore because I'd like to have enough money to have a family and don't have to work but I already read hundreds of books and I feel like I failed my life miserably.
I'm alone, I'm alone and I don't have any parents anymore, I have no family.

I already tried to suicide but I failed, I spent some time in psychiatry and I take antidepressant, + they give me Spravato, a special drug to make happy the desperate case like me.


I AM AWARE that the way you think affect the way you do thinks and that it's not good to think negatively, but I'm lost.
Everyday I think again about euthanasing myself (I don't like the word suicide) with helium, but I'm not ready yet.
I know I can perhaps change something...


But before, I was motivated by the idea of having money and become financially free because Freedom is really important. But now I see that I don't have anyone and no family so I'm feeling so lost.


I'd dream about lauching a business, making money just because it could help me have a family.

I don't know where to start anymore...
But I know that I should not let myself go down up to the point of dying, so that's why there is still a part of me who dream and who know that I should surround myself with entrepreneur people
Maybe It's better if You text me on whatsapp. I've been slightly depressed too, so I can help You .

+393296152039
 

EmotionEngine

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But it's been a long time that I read MJ DeMarco's book, and that I'm aware of the fact that this is nothing more than modern slavery, and I feel completely trapped and bad. I just hate my life, because I spent hours and hours studying the stock market by myself in hope to become a great trader, but the only thing I understood is that no one can predict the market.

It's only modern day slavery if you're doing something that doesn't bring value and you haven't harnessed your true potential. It's ok to have a job and use it as a stepping stone to get domain knowledge or save to start your biz. You have to work. Bills don't pay themselves until you've decided to be an entrepreneur. Here is something I highlighted from my copy of Unscripted .

IMG_6538.jpeg
 
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Mikkel

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I don't want to rehash what people have said as I generally agree with most everything here.

If you need to reach out to anyone, send me a DM. Even if it is just to say hi. It sounds like you need a group of people around you to support you even for just a little while.

You cannot live a happy life without knowing pain and suffering. You only truely understand happiness when you have seen dispair. Only then you have a true appreciation of that happiness.

A book that I think you would benifit from:

Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl

If anyone lived a truely horrifying life it was Victor Frankl and many other Jews in the Holocaust. Read his story and how he found meaning in life.

I wish you the best.
 

Kevin88660

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Hi. I'm not sure why I post and come here, and I'm not sure what I have to tell precisely about my life, so I will just go with the flow.

I'm a 24 years old student living in Belgium, so sorry in advance for my bad english.

I'm born in a very catastrophic family. My father abandonned me when I was born, and he was a dangerous and alcoholic man. I grew up with my mom, but during my childhood my dad just never stopped sending death message to my mom, because he didn't want another kid and he "has no children". So I constantly lived with the constant fear of being killed by my father during my childhood, I was not allowed to go to school alone for example, I always needed to be with someone.
My mother became very depressed when I was a kid, because all of this was "my fault" according to her. So she told me for my entire life that if she knew, she'll never got married and she had prefered not having kids.

Of course she let myself starve for long period, she never really cared about me and I grew in a complete chaotic environment.


BUT, apparently I was good at school, with number. So I've worked hard because my absolute goal in life was to get out of that hell.
I studied and I have an accounting diploma. I'm currently studying to become an economist...

But I feel extremely bad and terrified about this future, because people are proud of me because when I'll finish my study I'm going to get a nice job, I will be well paid...

But it's been a long time that I read MJ DeMarco's book, and that I'm aware of the fact that this is nothing more than modern slavery, and I feel completely trapped and bad. I just hate my life, because I spent hours and hours studying the stock market by myself in hope to become a great trader, but the only thing I understood is that no one can predict the market.

Since two years, my life became a true nightmare.

Because I've never been truly loved when I was a child, today Love is absolutely the most important thing in my life above anything else, and my biggest dream, the only thing I truly hope in life is someday get married, and have children, and be in a calm and peaceful environment, because I want to know what this mean to have "a family".
But I've been betrayed by someone and I'm just completely destroyed mentally.


I just don't want to live anymore because I'd like to have enough money to have a family and don't have to work but I already read hundreds of books and I feel like I failed my life miserably.
I'm alone, I'm alone and I don't have any parents anymore, I have no family.

I already tried to suicide but I failed, I spent some time in psychiatry and I take antidepressant, + they give me Spravato, a special drug to make happy the desperate case like me.


I AM AWARE that the way you think affect the way you do thinks and that it's not good to think negatively, but I'm lost.
Everyday I think again about euthanasing myself (I don't like the word suicide) with helium, but I'm not ready yet.
I know I can perhaps change something...


But before, I was motivated by the idea of having money and become financially free because Freedom is really important. But now I see that I don't have anyone and no family so I'm feeling so lost.


I'd dream about lauching a business, making money just because it could help me have a family.

I don't know where to start anymore...
But I know that I should not let myself go down up to the point of dying, so that's why there is still a part of me who dream and who know that I should surround myself with entrepreneur people
Welcome.
 

MTF

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I think you can greatly benefit from reading Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins. His childhood story was full of abuse as well and I think you'll relate to it and hopefully find some encouragement in his words.
 

PetitBourgeoisie

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Hi. I'm not sure why I post and come here, and I'm not sure what I have to tell precisely about my life, so I will just go with the flow.
Good Afternoon from Virginia, frend. I would commend you for coming here & posting, it's a good practice and from looking at the above comments & posts can reap reward in insights. Nikolj & Happyheart especially, credit to them, they give good advice.
Your past has hit harder than most and you've endured regardless, there's much to admire in that. As your plan is money; this is a great place for it, as this forum is home to many a novice and veteran alike in that. I've got some materials handy, mostly unrelated to business, that may provide some insight into your situation, much resonated in your story and I found these sources useful the advance of my own life.

Top of the list is the self-improvement youtuber who directed me here, Hamza, his reading list in particular is what lead me to Millionaire Fastlane and therethrough to this forum. Highly recommended, though I can understand him being an acquired taste. In fact, I can say I'm confident his advices and stories will be of use, the channel's archive has a lot of videos on various topics.
[Link: https://www.youtube.com/c/Hamza97]

Of that reading list I'd recommend:
4 Hour Work Week for time management, help 'cleaning your windshield'
Millionaire Fastlane for entrepreneurship, you'll see many references throughout the forum and it's worth the read.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck for individuation advice,
How to Win Friends & Influence People for social learning (highly recommended, without tradition to guide us we must learn good neighborliness ourselves)

A philosophy channel, Eternalised, has many philosopher summaries available, this may provide insights to deeper affairs or just entertainment.
[Link: https://www.youtube.com/c/Eternalised]

Some resources from my getting into fitness, I heartily recommend it, exercise & diet gives activity to mind & body on a daily basis. And in the long run it offers achievement, confidence, & health that can be better relied on for morale:
Most I can personally offer is to lift weights, do calisthenics otherwise, do these routinely; filter your water, prefer glass to plastic and cook for yourself when you can. Admittedly generic stuff, but these below may offer more in-depth advice.

Herculean Strength, for resources on aesthetic physical fitness, testosterone, etc.
[Link: Herculean Strength]
Doc Mike Israetel, many videos on form and fitness science/myths, I must stress form. In my years in exercise, this may've delayed results but I'd say it's worth it to avoid injury.
[Link: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyqKj7LwU2RuXf-mrYKVUYg_nrQyQ9mYV]
 

kepton

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Hi. I'm not sure why I post and come here, and I'm not sure what I have to tell precisely about my life, so I will just go with the flow.

I'm a 24 years old student living in Belgium, so sorry in advance for my bad english.

I'm born in a very catastrophic family. My father abandonned me when I was born, and he was a dangerous and alcoholic man. I grew up with my mom, but during my childhood my dad just never stopped sending death message to my mom, because he didn't want another kid and he "has no children". So I constantly lived with the constant fear of being killed by my father during my childhood, I was not allowed to go to school alone for example, I always needed to be with someone.
My mother became very depressed when I was a kid, because all of this was "my fault" according to her. So she told me for my entire life that if she knew, she'll never got married and she had prefered not having kids.

Of course she let myself starve for long period, she never really cared about me and I grew in a complete chaotic environment.


BUT, apparently I was good at school, with number. So I've worked hard because my absolute goal in life was to get out of that hell.
I studied and I have an accounting diploma. I'm currently studying to become an economist...

But I feel extremely bad and terrified about this future, because people are proud of me because when I'll finish my study I'm going to get a nice job, I will be well paid...

But it's been a long time that I read MJ DeMarco's book, and that I'm aware of the fact that this is nothing more than modern slavery, and I feel completely trapped and bad. I just hate my life, because I spent hours and hours studying the stock market by myself in hope to become a great trader, but the only thing I understood is that no one can predict the market.

Since two years, my life became a true nightmare.

Because I've never been truly loved when I was a child, today Love is absolutely the most important thing in my life above anything else, and my biggest dream, the only thing I truly hope in life is someday get married, and have children, and be in a calm and peaceful environment, because I want to know what this mean to have "a family".
But I've been betrayed by someone and I'm just completely destroyed mentally.


I just don't want to live anymore because I'd like to have enough money to have a family and don't have to work but I already read hundreds of books and I feel like I failed my life miserably.
I'm alone, I'm alone and I don't have any parents anymore, I have no family.

I already tried to suicide but I failed, I spent some time in psychiatry and I take antidepressant, + they give me Spravato, a special drug to make happy the desperate case like me.


I AM AWARE that the way you think affect the way you do thinks and that it's not good to think negatively, but I'm lost.
Everyday I think again about euthanasing myself (I don't like the word suicide) with helium, but I'm not ready yet.
I know I can perhaps change something...


But before, I was motivated by the idea of having money and become financially free because Freedom is really important. But now I see that I don't have anyone and no family so I'm feeling so lost.


I'd dream about lauching a business, making money just because it could help me have a family.

I don't know where to start anymore...
But I know that I should not let myself go down up to the point of dying, so that's why there is still a part of me who dream and who

Hello,

I wish you could see that depression gives you a false sense of life, but seems real. I've been there too.
I would like to tell that you don't need so much money to have a family. With a decent job you can raise one, the same way other people do. Jobs are a secure way to do money, and to take one is a great decision to make sure money.

I think that in your actual conditions, having a normal job would be the best for you. That doesn't mean you need to be on that the rest of your life!

A job let's you make social contact, money and self-steem. Not only money. I think that would help you enormously. People in this forum hates jobs but sometimes, like in everything, those are useful.

Launching a business implies the chance to fail (high chance). In your conditions, specially on depression, that could mean a big reverse for you if that would happen.

By the other way, having a day job would help to recede your depression and start from there you dreams, always without depression.

I hope you the best.
 
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