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Problem with my parents

Aryeh

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My parents are sidewalkers/slowlaners.They still have some influence in my life.They oppose my plans and try to steer me towards the Script.They say that all the decisions I have made independently have gone wrong and that before making any more I should consult with them.I don't know what to do.What do you propose ?
 
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Antifragile

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My parents are sidewalkers/slowlaners.They still have some influence in my life.

I assume they pay your living expenses?

They oppose my plans and try to steer me towards the Script.They say that all the decisions I have made independently have gone wrong and that before making any more I should consult with them.

Are they wrong? Did your decisions go wrong?

I don't know what to do.What do you propose ?

Not enough info to comment yet.
 

ZCP

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Why SHOULD they believe you? What have you accomplished / proven? ....... get it? See the other side now?
They love you and want the best for you. They know THEIR way and what THEY were taught. So they are using what they have to try to HELP you as best they know how.

You think you know better, and you may. You just haven't proven anything yet. Until you do, listen to them and make your best decision from ALL sources of advice. Then deliver results. Talk is cheap. Show them results and they will begin asking YOU questions.

SO ...... GO deliver vs talk. Then THEY will begin to follow you!
 
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Angler

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You think you know better, and you may. You just haven't proven anything yet.
This!

I read something I write to myself every morning so I'm reminded that no one, not this world, my parents, the cute girls, owe me anything. Not even a smile.

No one has to believe in me, for it's their choice after all.

But that does not disregard the fact that it only takes myself, my self-belief, my unbreakable attitude, to make stuff happen.

And it's alright with me. I'm sold 100% on my vision and my process.

I know I am meant for great things, but in the eyes of others I will always be a nobody. At least, until I successfully accomplish, build, and make stuff happen, no one will give a crap.
 

Kevin88660

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My parents are sidewalkers/slowlaners.They still have some influence in my life.They oppose my plans and try to steer me towards the Script.They say that all the decisions I have made independently have gone wrong and that before making any more I should consult with them.I don't know what to do.What do you propose ?
Work for an income. Hustle on the side.

It solves far more important problems, including being at peace with them.
 
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Yogi_Fastlane

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My parents are sidewalkers/slowlaners.They still have some influence in my life.They oppose my plans and try to steer me towards the Script.They say that all the decisions I have made independently have gone wrong and that before making any more I should consult with them.I don't know what to do.What do you propose ?
Well, you've to prove your point with your actions and not by your words.

You can start that by doing a job, meanwhile learning a skill, fastlane is a mindset, it's not about being a business owner alone.

Your parents possibly don't know better, that's not bad, not everyone has to be a fastlaner, it depends on what one wants out of life.
If you are all talk then you too are a sidewalker/slowlaner like them.

Your first step shall be to stop being dependent, Remember if you're dependent on them, that makes you a sidewalker and you are the one to blame, not them.
 
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ZCP

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Danny_Cox

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@S.M. your question inspired a video for the channel.
let me know what you think!

View: https://youtu.be/msMnfQ4-TjA
Thank you for creating, uploading and sharing this good shit. Subbed.

Reminds me of a conversation I had with a coach of mine once. The rub was that I was considering 2 possibilities—
a. My way was right and my dad’s way was wrong;
b. My way was wrong and my dad’s way was right.

But this coach revealed 2 more possibilities—
c. Both myself and dad were wrong;
d. Both myself and dad were right.
 

ZCP

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@Danny_Cox exactly. there is something to learn from all points of view.
@STEFANTP you and Danny have any ideas for more content / videos? Always looking for ideas and messages that I can get out there. SO many people need help right now!!
 
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Danny_Cox

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@Danny_Cox exactly. there is something to learn from all points of view.
@STEFANTP you and Danny have any ideas for more content / videos? Always looking for ideas and messages that I can get out there. SO many people need help right now!!
I really liked how you just took a question from the forum and gave your honest answer to the camera. Suspect you could call that a complete content strategy with the amount of questions that spring up here!

I can certainly tell you what I’d like to see right now, which is anything on the ‘sell before you build’ principle.
 

JUAREZ

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@Danny_Cox exactly. there is something to learn from all points of view.
@STEFANTP you and Danny have any ideas for more content / videos? Always looking for ideas and messages that I can get out there. SO many people need help right now!!
@ZCP actually, I have. Since you made it with entrepreneurship and you are also a dad, you have exactly what I am looking for: RESULTS. Which come to the following ideas (puzzles that I need to solve) :

1. Since I am a fresh dad, how do you develop discipline in the business while having kids around? How do you find time and also take care of the kids? I make a list with what needs to be done, but I find it hard to keep up. I feel like I do not have enough time, which is stupid because we all have exactly the same hours.
2. Do you think it is ok to mix the business with the family or should be time only for business and time only for family?
3. In your journey with entrepreneurship, did you have bad thoughts, like not trusting yourself, be afraid? How did you overcome them? How do you manage stress?

These are my thoughts at the moment
 

Bekit

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have any ideas for more content / videos? Always looking for ideas and messages that I can get out there. SO many people need help right now!!
Tell the cheesecake story. It could be a whole series...
 
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ZCP

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@ZCP actually, I have. Since you made it with entrepreneurship and you are also a dad, you have exactly what I am looking for: RESULTS. Which come to the following ideas (puzzles that I need to solve) :

1. Since I am a fresh dad, how do you develop discipline in the business while having kids around? How do you find time and also take care of the kids? I make a list with what needs to be done, but I find it hard to keep up. I feel like I do not have enough time, which is stupid because we all have exactly the same hours.
2. Do you think it is ok to mix the business with the family or should be time only for business and time only for family?
3. In your journey with entrepreneurship, did you have bad thoughts, like not trusting yourself, be afraid? How did you overcome them? How do you manage stress?

These are my thoughts at the moment
we should do a call and then you post the answers.
then i can turn into videos. :)
hit me up
 

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NeoDialectic

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My parents believed that not focusing on engineering was a mistake ALLLLLL the way till I was making 7 figures for years. All through my beginning business years (that were still pretty lucrative!), they insisted it could fail at any time and a backup wasn't just needed, but should be the focus.

Best part is in the "Big picture" I think they are right. Being successful is statistically very unlikely. Meanwhile you can live a very decent, stable, and fulfilled life as a good engineer. They cant know if i am doing what it takes to skew the statistics my way. They were doing their job as parents, and I did mine.

My business partners parents insisted he quite messing around and get his job back as engineer , while he was making substantially more in business than he could dream of as an engineer. Again, not until we were wildly successful did they acknowledge it was the right choice.

Sometimes I wonder if there is a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy involved in all this. Those that quit from the pressure would have quit anyways and those that would make it in business aren't shaken by the outside pressure. So what the parents and others are doing is just stress testing the person's resolve.

As for your situation.....difficult to know without more context. Are you reliant on them financially? Do you have a solid backup plan? Do you have a history of poor choices as they claim? Etc...
 
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UK_Mike

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Parents generally want their kids to be healthy, and to be able to look after themselves. They will of course give advice based on their own experience, which is unlikely to be that of entrepreneurship and building a business, it's far more likely to be based on getting a good job. Often they'll base their advice on what they wished they could have done, to avoid what they feel they did wrongly in their own careers.

My Dad drove trains, worked all sorts of nights and weekends, and one of the things he wanted for me was to not have to work those antisocial hours. He did it because that was a good choice for him, in his situation starting out, but he knew how annoying it was to miss out on some things because he was working, or because he had to go to bed during the day so he could work at night.

Bouncing your ideas off someone else is often a good idea, but if they're the kind of people who are closed to the idea of anything other than a full time job, it is perhaps wise to bounce your ideas off more than one set of people.
 
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SSTrey

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My parents believed that not focusing on engineering was a mistake ALLLLLL the way till I was making 7 figures for years. All through my beginning business years (that were still pretty lucrative!), they insisted it could fail at any time and a backup wasn't just needed, but should be the focus.

Best part is in the "Big picture" I think they are right. Being successful is statistically very unlikely. Meanwhile you can live a very decent, stable, and fulfilled life as a good engineer. They cant know if i am doing what it takes to skew the statistics my way. They were doing their job as parents, and I did mine.

My business partners parents insisted he quite messing around and get his job back as engineer , while he was making substantially more in business than he could dream of as an engineer. Again, not until we were wildly successful did they acknowledge it was the right choice.

Sometimes I wonder if there is a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy involved in all this. Those that quit from the pressure would have quit anyways and those that would make it in business aren't shaken by the outside pressure. So what the parents and others are doing is just stress testing the person's resolve.

As for your situation.....difficult to know without more context. Are you reliant on them financially? Do you have a solid backup plan? Do you have a history of poor choices as they claim? Etc...
"just stress testing the person's resolve." --> I like this, it is so true.

My folks (btw, they're great parents' & always did their best & provided more than I could have asked for), especially my mum, are typical slow-laners. They have these mysterious 'respect' for 'business people' in the sense that it's almost this outlying phenomenon where they refer to them as 'rich people'. I actually hate this.
Most of the 'rich people' they know are generational wealth, here I am making my own way trying to be a self-made 'rich person'.
When I am trying failing, re-booting or pivoting, it's always like I'm being looked down upon & I should be working harder in the rate race. F*ck that.

Bottom line --> parent's love us, they do what they know, but remember - We can't become free by learning from people who are not themselves FREE.
 

Kevin88660

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You parents most likely wish you good. They could be right they could be wrong.

But the lesson is don’t let people hold your dream hostage.

And if they pay for your expense they own you. This is the most important lesson on control for you.

Before you earn that income stream to live an independent life, learn to respect their opinion, even if it is just pretending.
 
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JUAREZ

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