Wealth Language

[Runum]

Several years ago I read RDPD and it changed my direction in life. I have read all the books. Made a lot of financial changes in my life for the better and I'm proud of where I am.

I was at a REI breakfast this morning and noticed the waiters. We were talking business and RE conditions in the area. We were using a lot of REI language and I was thinking several years ago I was where the waiters are now. I could have listened to the converastions of business people and still not have understood what I heard. So basically I got here today by understanding languge and putting my understanding to work for me.

Then I started thinking about the recent NBC story about the people with $500 million to $1 billion. I was wondering what language they talk and understand that I don't.

So, do any of you know what would the super wealthy talk about that we wouldn't? What does it take to go to the next level of wealth, maturity, knowledge, language, etc.?

[Russ H]

Runum,

Funny you bring this up.

I actually answered this question about a week ago, in response to a different thread:

http://www.thefastlanetomillions.com...html#post49112

Lots of other things as well, but these are some examples.

Another interesting thing: Many of the super wealthy NEVER talk about how much something cost them (a car, a house, clothes, meal, etc etc etc).

They talk money all the time-- investments, acquisitions, tax strategies (lots and lots).

But they just don't talk about what they paid for consumer things.

I realize this is not an across the board thing-- it was just the folks I hung out with.

I remember being up at Lake Tahoe, sitting out on the front lawn at one of my client's parties. We were eating turkey drumsticks with our hands as the sun set.

We had an amazing view of the lake from our seats (it was on the west shore). Sitting at the table were 8 people (counting me). Two were the owners of the house. One had flown his brand new Gulfstream G IV (this was back in the early 90s, before the G 5). Another had flown in his new helicopter.

There was chatter about different ways to get places -- but NO ONE talked how much their "rides" were.

They also teased each other about their losses. "Hey Jer, you still got that 20 mil loss on the books from last year, or have you figured out what to do with it?"

****

I also remember sitting in first class with some very casually dressed folks (sweat suits). We talked about what I did (home screening rooms) and both were very interested. I kept mentioning how expensive they were (nicely, just saying things like "this one ran around $400K").

As I talked, the guy got less and less interested. Finally, when his wife wasn't listening, he looked me square in the eye and said, "Look, I think we might want to talk with you more about this stuff. But you've got to stop talking price, OK?"

I didn't understand, but said, "Sure."

We wound up talking about other things for the rest of the flight. He was a super nice guy. When we were just about to land, I noticed a humungous ring on his finger for the very first time. Seeing me looking at it, he said, "I wondered when you were going to ask me about this."

I said, "Sorry if I was staring. But that's a really big ring."

He held it up with pride and said, "That's my Broncos superbowl ring", smiling.

I nodded, and said, "I have to apologize. I really don't follow sports at all. When did you play?"

He looked at me and said, very quietly: "I'm one of the owners."

It was Pat Bowlen.

His earlier comments about me stopping talking about prices now made more sense.

-Russ H.

[andviv]

I'd love to learn more about this as well.
When I read the original post I thought about the two types of "Language" we could be talking about in this thread: Technical Language (CAP rates, ROI, LTV, vacancy rates, rent loss, NOI, etc), and Conversational language (how they talk about life and their daily activities, how they express their ideas).

I've been working on the second type, listening to some tapes about NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) as I've recognized that people that have accomplished things I want to accomplish do talk/think differently than I do (and I meant the words they use, not even mentioning my accent). I am a Software Engineer so I understand the importance of the language used to program the most advanced computer that exist: our brains.

I've started to understand (and I mean really "get it", not just rationalize it), when people talk about the BE-DO-HAVE ideas.

So, back on topic, I am also very interested on learning what wealthy people talk about and how they talk about it. I've heard horror stories from those that have met very rich individuals that were real a--holes (even I saw a little bit of this when a recognized author called everybody in the room F^&%&*# Losers), but I can't believe that is the norm with people in a great financial situation. I haven't had contact with others with net worths in the tens of millions.

Good thing is that we can learn from real people making real progress (just talk to Russ, Steve, Sonya, MJ, Dana, Diane, Bob, etc) and you will see that there is a difference in the chosen terms and what they don't talk about.

Any others have spent time with wealthy individuals and noticed any difference in how they talk?

[^eagle^]

I used to work with a company Called TSI. I was friends with the owners daughter and got to know this guy a little bit along with his partner and his family. This family has a net worth in the 100M range.

One time the owner held a meeting with all the workers and opened the floor to questions. One of the department managers came at him with many problems his department was having. All the owner kept saying was "what's the solution?"

He said this several times, even getting slightly annoyed and raising his voice saying, "WHAT'S THE SOLUTION?"

The position I held had me in contact with all levels of the company from the wage laborers to the President and the owner.

The wage earners thought the owner was rude for what he did to the manager at the meeting.

Some of the things I gathered from how he and his family think were:

Assume personal responsibility
Whoever is closest to the problem has the solution
Envy is dangerous and self destructive
Find a way to afford things
It's OK to have nice things (he owned a Chrysler Prowler)
The walls have ears so be careful about saying unconstructive things and allowing rumors to spread through a company.


I had an Uncle who inherited a lot of money. As a boy I thought he was rich (probably had a net worth of less then 10M.) The one thing I remember him saying was that he thought it sucked because the government took almost half of his inhertance away. Although he did not die destitute he left with less than what he started with. Just before he died he made mention of this fact about the governemt again. Almost 30 years later.

[Venturer]

Just a side step.
I was discussing business with a friend at a sports club that I visit regularly and a fellow who also comes there to play squash frequently was sitting next to us and you could see that he was following our conversation.
Since I had talked to him a few times I knew that he had a 9 to 5 job and was not satisfied with having such a job.

When I realized that he was overhearing us I decided to do something I had been planning for some time. I had two copies of the first RDPD book at home and always thought I would give one to somebody who was stuck in de employee lane. However, I never decided to which of the all people that I knew in the E quadrant.

So, now I knew what to do with the book and I told the guy I wanted to give him something that might help him change his (financial) life. He told me when he was planning to visit the club again and I dropped by to hand him the RDPD book.
That all happened about 6 months ago.
About two weeks ago I ran into him again and he told me he had read the book and followed it up with a few RE books and that he was in the process of buying his first rental property. That simple book was the trigger for him to do something.
That really made my day.

[kimberland]

Another interesting thing: Many of the super wealthy NEVER talk about how much something cost them (a car, a house, clothes, meal, etc etc etc).

They talk money all the time-- investments, acquisitions, tax strategies (lots and lots).

But they just don't talk about what they paid for consumer things.

I think this depends on culture
and on what business the person is in.

I was hanging with one of the hubby's super wealthy Asian 'Uncle's
and he wanted to know what we paid for everything
from watermelon
to chocolate (Cadburys from England, yum).
Though he owns a chain of supermarkets
so this could have been his way of doing some research
but I do find that the hubby's family asks about price on everything.

HOWEVER, they also add the value component.
They're not looking for cheapest,
they're looking for best value.

[Russ H]

So . . . I told the guy I wanted to give him something that might help him change his (financial) life. He told me when he was planning to visit the club again and I dropped by to hand him the RDPD book.

That all happened about 6 months ago.

About two weeks ago I ran into him again and he told me he had read the book and followed it up with a few RE books and that he was in the process of buying his first rental property. That simple book was the trigger for him to do something.

That really made my day.

Way cool!

[Runum]

Thanks to all of you for the insight. I can see I still have some learning and growing to do. ++++ speed to you all

[M&T]

Trump said in one of his books when he runs into a fellow billionaire on the golf course they mainly talk about their game. Funny how that works. He said they don't talk money. Now I would think if it was another real estate player in his area it might be different.
M&T....

[JScott]

Trump said in one of his books when he runs into a fellow billionaire on the golf course they mainly talk about their game. Funny how that works. He said they don't talk money. Now I would think if it was another real estate player in his area it might be different.
M&T....

I've heard on numerous occasions that when Bill Gates and Warren Buffet get together, the two main topics of conversation are charity (how to fix the world's problems) and bridge (the card game).

And I've personally talked to Gates about poker and technology, but considering only one of us was super-wealthy, I don't think that counts towards this discussion...

[Russ H]

Trump said in one of his books when he runs into a fellow billionaire on the golf course they mainly talk about their game. Funny how that works. He said they don't talk money. Now I would think if it was another real estate player in his area it might be different.

You're absolutely right about not talking shop, but talking golf on the links.

Sorry, time for another story:

Friend of mine (owns a shopping center in Orange County worth about $40M, among other things) plays golf regularly. Actually played well enough to be on the tour, before he got terrible arthritis.

So he's playing one day, with two guys who occasionally join him. They've played as a threesome for years. All they ever talk about is RE investing, and golf.

So the two other guys are talking mergers (this was in the late 80s). Shane (my buddy) says, "Y'know, I've never asked you two what you do for a living."

The two of them look at Shane, then each other, and smile.

"I'm the CEO of Safeway" says one guy.

"I'm the CEO of Lucky stores" says the other.

Shane is completely taken off balance. He doesn't know what to say.

So he says the first thing he can think of:

"Y'know, I've shopped at both of your stores!"

(kooky as it sounds, this is a true story).

-Russ H.

[Runum]

Thanks to everyone that posted. Here's a new slant. I went to a 4th of July party last night at a fairly wealthy person's house. By my standards it was large, not huge, and very well decorated with nice furniture. We all were invited and encouraged to look around the house and it was a treat. A couple of observations: In the whole house I only saw 1 small TV in the upstairs reading room. Also, almost all of the rooms, including the bathrooms, had small loveseats or sofa's. They did have a couple of recliners in the living room along with other sofa's and chairs. Overall the emphasis of the arrangement of the furniture seemed to be relaxation, social interaction, and reading. In other words, the rooms did not seem to be arranged with the television to be the center of attention.

Also, a lot of the rooms had bookcases. The bookcases weren't filled up but the books were out where you could find them.

Now I know that in most houses I visit they do not have room to put furniture in the bathrooms but almost all social rooms are oriented toward the TV.

Things that make you go hmmmmm?

[Banthaman]

Good observations Runrum. After going through the Developing you plan log here and reading Your Money or Your Life My wife and I find our dream home to be far more simple than what we had originally thought focusing on relaxing and rest as we see that as our ministry even now. we occasionally watch movies but all together feel no need for TV or for our children as well. It's actually quite liberating.

[Russ H]

Bump up for those who have not seen it.

-Russ H.

[Halli]

Always trying to poke your stories in Russ? Even the one's that have already been told I'm just joking.I haven't seen this before.These are great stories and a great read. There are many languages that I can't speak. I'm trying to learn Internet marketinglish and technish these days.And that's hard enough for now

[Motivated]

Great read

[Runum]

Bump up for those who have not seen it.

-Russ H.

Thanks for the bump Russ. I had forgot about this. I am learning the lesson and passing it on to my kid.

We were on a charter boat in Hawaii and there was a group that had attended a family wedding on there as well. One of the ladies of the party began making small talk with us and told us about the wedding. My teenage daughter wanted to hold up her end of the conversation and began asking questions about the costs involved. It was very obvious that this was a no no but my kid didn't pick up on the lady's body language. I changed the topic and, later, had a talk with my daughter. I explained there were many things you could talk about concerning the wedding, but cost is not considered polite with casual conversation. My kid actually thanked me and I feel this was a great lesson for her.

As I reflect over the last 2 years, I can see how my own and my family's vocabulary has changed. I can also see that the things I focus on have changed. These subtle nuances must be what the wealthy teach their children by voice and example. These small lessons are learned over many years. We adults want to compress the learning curve into a shorter time span.

Human behavior and psychology is interesting stuff.

[FDJustin]

Some of the things I gathered from how he and his family think were:

Assume personal responsibility
Whoever is closest to the problem has the solution
Envy is dangerous and self destructive
Find a way to afford things
It's OK to have nice things (he owned a Chrysler Prowler)
The walls have ears so be careful about saying unconstructive things and allowing rumors to spread through a company.

I like the way they think... Except for the envy being a problem bit. Being envious is a great thing, if it strives you towards excellence. Though I do agree, it's easy to act on envy in a purely destructive way.

Remember, envy and jealousy are different. Envy is wanting something someone else has. Jealousy is fear of losing something to someone else.

Wish I could comment beyond that on the rich person mentality, but I don't know any such people, personally.