Thread: Thoughts on Marriage/Kids and the Fastlane dream

Well said, healthstatus. If you encounter real honest love, with a woman who is compatible with you (and that includes your passion for business), then grab on with both hands and don't let go.

Children can be very fulfilling but they are (must be) enormous time and energy sinks. The investment should be worth it, and you may find that you absolutely love spending time with your kids. But be aware that no matter how much you love parenthood, LIFE AS YOU KNOW IT IS OVER once you have kids. You no longer have the total freedom and self-centered focus you could have as a single guy/gal. Your kids must become a, if not THE, primary focus in your life. They are much more important than your first or next million.

So if you're so focused on your business that you couldn't give massive time and attention to your kids, you should seriously consider whether you are currently in a state to become a parent. Maybe that means you get the business up and rocking, and hopefully mostly self-sustaining, before you have kids. It's generally a good idea to wait at least 3-5 years before having kids anyway, to make sure you and your new spouse are really compatible.

But bottom line: someone who has built (or is building) a Fastlane business has the opportunity to have MUCH more time and energy for his family than somebody stuck in a 9-5 rut. If you find love, go for it!!

Here's the thing, hot girls want money. If you want them, well..you need to be rich (or handsome).

Originally Posted by healthstatus

You can make money anytime, real honest love may only come once.

Originally Posted by valuegiver

Here's the thing, hot girls want money. If you want them, well..you need to be rich (or handsome).

RTC started the thread asking about marrying someone he loves & connects with...I think thats completely different than your drive to find 'hot girls who want money'. No doubt there are plenty like that out there, but I wouldn't advise marrying them.

Originally Posted by valuegiver

Here's the thing, hot girls want money. If you want them, well..you need to be rich (or handsome).

That is a ridiculous statement.

First off, Great thread! I just got a chance to read through the whole thing. Some great advice for me here since I'll be getting married in less then a year. I have a great woman who is backing me 100% with my business goals. She understands what I'm trying to do and what it will take to get there. I know that no matter what she will be there for me. For rich or for poor. I've been with her for 4 years as of today and she could care less if I'm a millionaire, as long as she has me.

That leads me to this atrocity :

Originally Posted by valuegiver

Here's the thing, hot girls want money. If you want them, well..you need to be rich (or handsome).

Why would you ever want to marry a woman who only wants you for your money??? Do you see what goes on with the rich and famous? Their lucky if their marriages last more than 3 years!


Speed+ for RTC for starting the thread!

Originally Posted by valuegiver

Here's the thing, hot girls want money. If you want them, well..you need to be rich (or handsome).

Hot girls... are not all generic. But girls in general, do not want a guy to marriage who cannot bring in at least 20 k.

Well this is just MHO, but if you think its the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, thats pretty much all you need to know.

Im divorced. My first wife was a bitch. All she wanted was to keep up with the Jones'. Debt and more debt, with lots of fighting and arguments. A miserable 3 years because we fought about money all the time. We even had seperate accounts, at her request. NOTHING worked. And I wound up bankrupt for it.

Now Im doing fine. My (current and last) wife and I started with nothing, literally. We had 3 kids, living on about $20k a year, and had to take WIC, food stamps, and government housing. She stuck with me, through the worst. Now we are doing good, and I have a shot at making alot of money. Together we make about $60k a year now, so we arent rich, but Im in the middle of a deal that has the potential to be huge. And Im always working on other ideas. We dont fight, or argue. Sure there are spats, when money is tight, because stress is high. And I will say its tough convincing her we need to take money from our personal account for this venture, when we have bills to pay. But she helps me work it out. And thats what its all about. If you have to fight about money, or sign pre-numptuals, or keep secrets, you already on the wrong track.

I never worry about her leaving when we start making alot of money. If she stuck around through all that, shes happy.

Originally Posted by DrummerDad

Well this is just MHO, but if you think its the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, thats pretty much all you need to know.

Im divorced. My first wife was a bitch. All she wanted was to keep up with the Jones'. Debt and more debt, with lots of fighting and arguments. A miserable 3 years because we fought about money all the time. We even had seperate accounts, at her request. NOTHING worked. And I wound up bankrupt for it.

Now Im doing fine. My (current and last) wife and I started with nothing, literally. We had 3 kids, living on about $20k a year, and had to take WIC, food stamps, and government housing. She stuck with me, through the worst. Now we are doing good, and I have a shot at making alot of money. Together we make about $60k a year now, so we arent rich, but Im in the middle of a deal that has the potential to be huge. And Im always working on other ideas. We dont fight, or argue. Sure there are spats, when money is tight, because stress is high. And I will say its tough convincing her we need to take money from our personal account for this venture, when we have bills to pay. But she helps me work it out. And thats what its all about. If you have to fight about money, or sign pre-numptuals, or keep secrets, you already on the wrong track.

I never worry about her leaving when we start making alot of money. If she stuck around through all that, shes happy.

This is the major problem that I see with marriage. Once you tie the knot, most women will feel that they can decide how you should spend your money; it's no longer possible for you to just go out and spend it however you like; you have to get her permission first or else there will be arguments.

This hinders fastlane progress in my opinion, because an entrepreneur will sometimes need to go to hungry or without buying nice things to make their dream a reality and if your wife or husband is not on the same boat, then you're screwed. So, yes if you can find a woman or man who shares the same mindset, marriage can work but if not then you're shackled.

Originally Posted by RTC

Guys,
What is your thoughts on getting married and having kids while trying to build your business at the same time? Is it a positive or a negative? I'm struggling with this idea right now because I left my corporate job last year and started an online business which is doing well enough for me to travel and have complete freedom. I'm nowhere near a millionaire yet but I know that I can be in a few years if I follow my plan.

During my travels, I met a girl and things are getting more serious and I'm wondering what you guys think about this for those of you who have experienced it. I know MJ isn't married nor does he have kids, but does that mean its a bad thing to do if you want this lifestyle?

I just made a comment on another thread with the same topic.

To Have, or Have Not... Marriage

Short answer, it's love, you have to follow your heart.

Originally Posted by DrummerDad

Now we are doing good, and I have a shot at making alot of money.

How's that going so far? Any updates?

Originally Posted by Darkside

This is the major problem that I see with marriage. Once you tie the knot, most women will feel that they can decide how you should spend your money; it's no longer possible for you to just go out and spend it however you like; you have to get her permission first or else there will be arguments.

This hinders fastlane progress in my opinion, because an entrepreneur will sometimes need to go to hungry or without buying nice things to make their dream a reality and if your wife or husband is not on the same boat, then you're screwed. So, yes if you can find a woman or man who shares the same mindset, marriage can work but if not then you're shackled.

I guess if you view it as a problem, then it is. I think its perspective. My family has always been blue collar, and I have no rich relatives. So I have noone to talk to about the process. I literally dont know anyone who is as successful as I want to be. And anytime I try and talk to them its the same old " just be happy with what you have" or "thats not going to work", so my wife is the sounding board. She listens, and helps me stay focussed. And she sees things that I might miss, because Im doing everything else for the company. She really helps me stay on track.

Maybe it would be easier without the bills, and responsibility. And if you view a wife and children as a brake that slows you down, then you should avoid them. But my wife an kids are the reason I get up in the morning, and they mean everything to me. If I had to choose between money and them, I would be broke. But I dont have to do that. And I certainly dont ask permission to do what I need to do.

Originally Posted by Likwid24

How's that going so far? Any updates?

Yes. Its going well. We have the first run of ten in, and we are making the physical corrections. When he gets them to me (should be a week or so), then Ill assemble them, and send them to the magazines. We are shooting for print in November, so its available at the show. Then we just have infrastructure issues to deal with, and I can start taking orders.

July has been crazy. Im changing jobs next week (afternoon position at a more stable company, just in case), we just got off our first vacation ever (been married 13 years and never had the means) and Im doing this deal. Also waiting on two lawyers (patent and LLC papers pending) to finish vacation, and working with friends to get another part for this project made in my spare time. Looks like I might also be working on another company or partnership with another idea I had, because a friend has a good idea that would work in the same area. We might go in together and see what we can do there. Im bound and determined something is going to work out.

Originally Posted by DrummerDad

I guess if you view it as a problem, then it is. I think its perspective. My family has always been blue collar, and I have no rich relatives. So I have noone to talk to about the process. I literally dont know anyone who is as successful as I want to be. And anytime I try and talk to them its the same old " just be happy with what you have" or "thats not going to work", so my wife is the sounding board. She listens, and helps me stay focussed. And she sees things that I might miss, because Im doing everything else for the company. She really helps me stay on track.

Maybe it would be easier without the bills, and responsibility. And if you view a wife and children as a brake that slows you down, then you should avoid them. But my wife an kids are the reason I get up in the morning, and they mean everything to me. If I had to choose between money and them, I would be broke. But I dont have to do that. And I certainly dont ask permission to do what I need to do.

Quick example. I was watching a CNBC biography on Sam Walton which aired yesterday. When he was first starting out and he wanted to expand to multiple stores, Sam Walton needed to get a huge loan and he needed his wife to co-sign with him. She didn't think it was a good idea because she felt that the family already had enough money to survive on and she didn't want them to go into debt, but eventually he convinced her to co-sign.

Because of that loan he was able to start his empire and eventually become the wealthiest man in America. If he had listened to his wife and not gotten the loan, he would just be a middle class guy who owned one store which made enough money for his family to survive on.

Originally Posted by Sid23

They are definitely not mutually exclusive, but I will give you a personal example. (As a happily married man)

I cannot buy a fixer upper in a crappy part of town and live in it for 24 months while rehabbing it because my wife, while very understanding and supportive of my dreams, has issues with safety and won't feel safe in a neighborhood like that.

So while it doesn't stop you from being a millionaire, it limits you from doing certain things.

I wouldn't trade my marriage for anything and I'm very happy, but my younger brother who is single, works on the internet and travels the world obviously has more options and freedom. I'm still on my way, but had to make certain compromises along the way that a single person wouldn't.

That said, the unconditional love and support certainly doesn't hurt when you have failures, bad days, etc.

A girlfriend could provide the same support without having a say over your finances. I'm glad that you have a great marriage. I'm just saying that I believe marriage hinders entrepreneurs on their path to wealth more than it helps them. Bill Gates once said that he waited to get married until later in life because he knew that he wouldn't be able to devote as much time to his business if he did get married since he'd feel guilty about not spending time with his wife and kids. He's famously known for not having taken a single day off from work during his twenties while he was building Microsoft into the global powerhouse that it became.









After he became wealthy, he married, which I think is the smarter way to go. So, since you're mixing your finances with your partner you have the problem of having to get their approval to do anything risky with your money and you also have the problem of not spending enough time at home. If you're already married then obviously, you have to make it work somehow. But, for young people who are single that want to become wealthy, I think they should hold off marriage until they reach their goals.

Originally Posted by Darkside

After he became wealthy, he married, which I think is the smarter way to go. So, since you're mixing your finances with your partner you have the problem of having to get their approval to do anything risky with your money and you also have the problem of not spending enough time at home. If you're already married then obviously, you have to make it work somehow. But, for young people who are single that want to become wealthy, I think they should hold off marriage until they reach their goals.

The problem I see with this is that the odds are heavily stacked against you that after your wealthy, most girls will want you because of your money. How would you know if a the woman truly loves you or is just with you because she found a wealthy man to take care of her. If your with a women who was with you through the tough times while you were on your path to wealth or even before you ever even started on your journey, that's true love. You know she's going to stick with you through thick and thin.

I have known a few people who were pretty well off, married a "gold digger", went through some unfortunate events and their wives left them because they couldn't live the wealthy lifestyle anymore. If I married after I became wealthy, I would always have it on the back of my mind if she is truly with me because she loves me or if it's because of the money.