Money Can't Buy Happiness!

**MJDeMarco** · Feb 10th, 2010, 05:34 PM

You've heard it countless times, Money Can't Buy Happiness!

So i guess, poverty does?

This guy gave away his fortune...

Money Can't Buy Happiness, So Man Gives Away Every Penny of His £3 Million Fortune - Neatorama

My take? Money doesn't buy happiness when it is destructive to freedom. Most people use money for material and consumer purposes which is destructive to freedom -- that destruction causes unhappiness.

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Money doesn’t buy happiness when it’s misused. Instead of money buying freedom, it buys bondage.

“Wealth” and “happiness” are interchangeable, but only if your definition of wealth hasn’t been corrupted by society’s definition. Society says wealth is “stuff” and because of this faulty definition, the bridge between wealth and happiness collapses. If you don’t feel wealth, you’re likely to try to conjure that feeling. You buy icons of wealth to feel wealth. You crave feelings, respect, pride and joy. You want admiration, love and acceptance. And what are these feelings supposed to deliver? Happiness. And that’s the bait. We equate the corrupted definition of wealth with happiness and when it fails to deliver, expectations are violated and unhappiness creeps in.

**randallg99** · Feb 10th, 2010, 05:40 PM

the man is happy. that's all that matters.

**Icy** · Feb 10th, 2010, 07:15 PM

This is one thing I've been thinking about a lot lately. I originally came here because I wanted to get RICH and do what I want, when I want, and then I'd be happy (or so I thought). In my head this image is usually the whole stereotypical idea of rich which would be lots of things.

Anyways, since moving out on my own and lacking a lot of the luxuries that were around me at my parents my idea of happiness has changed. All the things I had there kind of had me trapped into thinking more about what I am losing by trying something rather than what I am gaining by experiencing something new.

An example would be traveling by backpacking around. It's something I've always wanted to do, but the idea of losing all the luxuries around me seemed, idk, scary I suppose. We are judged every day by what we have and not so much what we've done. So the idea of travel with only a few different pairs of clothes, without much in terms of things seemed like the perfect way of being viewed by the majority as a failure.

I love waking up each day and doing things that are a challenge and learning something new. Honestly, starting something challenging or uncomfortable each day I need to kind of push myself but once I get started, and at the end of the day I've honestly never regretted it. On the contrary there have been many days in my past where I did exactly what I felt like all day and went to sleep miserable that I wasted that day.

Sorry for kind of just throwing out random thoughts, but I'll connect it all. When we're surrounded by luxuries we're always want to get the next best thing. Even if you have the best thing at the moment, there will inevitably be a new one next year and you'll want it.

Personally once I lacked these items I began to realize the energy\time used with these items never left me fulfilled. I could be entertained no doubt, but at the end of the day I felt like I wasted the day. I've started to make myself do things to improve myself\learn\try something new each day and while getting started each day can be hard I never go to sleep regretting it. I may be uncomfortable while doing it, but I'm always happy and fulfilled at the end of the day by doing it.

tl;dr: Things take up too much time and money and I almost always end up regretting wasting time with them before sleep. I'm happy when using them, but afterward it always feels like a waste of time. On the contrary doing things, even if it's uncomfortable and won't make me instantly happy almost always leave me satisfied.

**rcardin** · Feb 10th, 2010, 08:30 PM

One of the few quotes handed down to me from my grandfather was "Money doesn't buy happiness but lack of it sucks"

You have to find your own fine line between the two and everyone has that line. Finding it is the hard part

**PaulRobert** · Feb 10th, 2010, 08:54 PM

You can say that I have grown a "cold" relationship with money. A couple of years ago the sight of money would put excitement in my eyes and I would think of ways to spend it. Now, the sight of money does not take over my emotions, it does not control me. I control it. Money is a tool.You must take that tool and create a better life for yourself.Many people become a slave to money and it controls their lives. They come to think that money will give them happiness and all problems will be solved.

Now as everyone has stated above, money can't buy happiness but without it, you are really screwed.

The big thing that one must learn in their life is that..

Money can not control you and your emotions.

You must be in control of your emotions when dealing with money.

Money can not get to your head.

Money can open doors to opportunities that can give you happiness such as going on a 3 month vacation or getting that adrenaline rush in a nice Italian sports car that rhymes with fettuccine.

In conclusion-

Control money and control your life. Don't let anyone or anything control it.

**rxcknrxll** · Feb 21st, 2010, 06:52 PM

The old quote from Zig Ziglar always serves me well, "You can have anything you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want." If you focus on serving others and creating opportunity for others, it starts being about the mission...you do what you love, and the money is a byproduct. It gets distorted when you set a goal for a specific dollar amount, because then your focus veers to money, not helping others. If you focus on the mission, money takes care of itself. That's my angle on it.

**LondonLife** · Feb 22nd, 2010, 05:20 AM

Although it's true it doesn't buy you happiness it does remove many of the shackles that bring unhappiness. I've had high stress in the past due to high mortgage repayments, bills I couldn't afford, and debt hanging over my head. This also impacted my social and personal life in a negative way. I had some tricky times without money.

Once you remove those aspects of your life will you be happy? For me, the answer was yes, I am now a happier perosn. But did money buy that happiness? No. I was always a happy person despite the above stressful and somewhat bad times, my life was always more important than the money in it. If you are unhappy with your life and expect money to solve that. It's unlikley it will.

Think of it this way:
- Is a poor, hungry, homeless person happy?
- Is a poor person with a house above their head happy?
- Is a middle class, comfortable, but struggling with money, person happy?
- Is a rich person happy?

Many people will say the first three groups above are unhappy and would be happier with money. But would a homeless person be happy with a house above their head if they were still poor? Of course they would. Happiness is the emotion generated when you achieve or gain something. People without alot of money often see material goods as that aspirational target you gain when you have a money.

Now if you're rich and can afford everything you want... what do you look foreward to?

If you can't think of anything, and think you'll be happy surrounded by your new toys, then money won't buy you happiness. Surrounding yourself with material goods just becomes another way of life. It become mundane, the norm. It is tedious and boring.

However, if you can still think of things to look foreward to. Then money could well make you happier. Whether it's spending more time with family, helping others, or feeling the thrill of the wind in your hair jumping out of a plane, it doens't matter. Money can open doors for you and make you happier, but only by removing the shackles having no money can generate. But you still need that little something to look foreward to. Without an aim, without inspiration, without the desire to do something beyond making money we're incapable of being happy.

Money can remove some forms of unhappiness, but it will never generate happiness in itself.

**GlobalWealth** · Feb 22nd, 2010, 07:03 AM

Originally Posted by Icy

An example would be traveling by backpacking around. It's something I've always wanted to do, but the idea of losing all the luxuries around me seemed, idk, scary I suppose. We are judged every day by what we have and not so much what we've done. So the idea of travel with only a few different pairs of clothes, without much in terms of things seemed like the perfect way of being viewed by the majority as a failure.
.

The question that comes to mind from your statements here are;
1- who will view you as a failure?
2- why do you care?

This guy had some serious guilt issues to contend with. This likely is due to the world view that wealth is bad and if you attain it you are lucky and you have an obligation to help those that didn't win the sperm lottery like you did. This is bullshit.

If you attain wealth, you deserve it. Money doesn't need to equal things however. As I stated with a blog reply to this guy, you can do much better things with your money than give it away. He could have gone to Brazil and bought land and started a farm. This would have been a productive asset which would have fed and employed people. He could have increased the world's prosperity with acts like these, instead he chose to destroy it.

By this, I mean, when you give money away to a charity, you are hiring managers to determine asset allocation. These are not productive people (usually). If they were, they would be doing something productive. You are paying them a salary for their time which decays the value of the investment. Then, they are giving money or food or clothes (or whatever) to people who didn't earn it. Then, by injecting these free or cheap goods into an economy, you crush the local competition because they cannot compete with free or very cheap. This creates an ongoing reliance on the charity because you have not given them sustainability, only an undeserved gift.

Think about it this way, if I gave you $100k per month, would you still go to work? Whatever you did at work, presumably, was productive, but now has completely evaporated. By giving you charity, I have destroyed productivity and therefore, wealth. Yes, I know this is a simple example, but I am too lazy to type out a long one).

On to your backpacking question. Why not go backpacking? Who cares what others think? In reality, your friends with their nice cars and nice houses will envy you because you will be experiencing more in 6 months than they will likely experience in their lifetimes because they are a slave to their things. They have a car payment and a mortgage. They must work daily doing things they may or may not enjoy to support their debt levels.

Do you need a car to be happy? Do you need a house? Maybe you do, maybe not. Only you can answer that. But what you need to survive is your capacity to think and work. Do you have the financial ability to backpack around Europe/South America (or wherever you were considering)? If it is something you want to do, is there going to be a better time to do it? Not likely.

You only ride this roller coaster once.

**MJDeMarco** · Feb 22nd, 2010, 10:06 AM

Originally Posted by GlobalWealth

The question that comes to mind from your statements here are;
1- who will view you as a failure?
2- why do you care?

This guy had some serious guilt issues to contend with. This likely is due to the world view that wealth is bad and if you attain it you are lucky and you have an obligation to help those that didn't win the sperm lottery like you did. This is bullshit.

If you attain wealth, you deserve it. Money doesn't need to equal things however. As I stated with a blog reply to this guy, you can do much better things with your money than give it away. He could have gone to Brazil and bought land and started a farm. This would have been a productive asset which would have fed and employed people. He could have increased the world's prosperity with acts like these, instead he chose to destroy it.

By this, I mean, when you give money away to a charity, you are hiring managers to determine asset allocation. These are not productive people (usually). If they were, they would be doing something productive. You are paying them a salary for their time which decays the value of the investment. Then, they are giving money or food or clothes (or whatever) to people who didn't earn it. Then, by injecting these free or cheap goods into an economy, you crush the local competition because they cannot compete with free or very cheap. This creates an ongoing reliance on the charity because you have not given them sustainability, only an undeserved gift.

Think about it this way, if I gave you $100k per month, would you still go to work? Whatever you did at work, presumably, was productive, but now has completely evaporated. By giving you charity, I have destroyed productivity and therefore, wealth. Yes, I know this is a simple example, but I am too lazy to type out a long one).

On to your backpacking question. Why not go backpacking? Who cares what others think? In reality, your friends with their nice cars and nice houses will envy you because you will be experiencing more in 6 months than they will likely experience in their lifetimes because they are a slave to their things. They have a car payment and a mortgage. They must work daily doing things they may or may not enjoy to support their debt levels.

Do you need a car to be happy? Do you need a house? Maybe you do, maybe not. Only you can answer that. But what you need to survive is your capacity to think and work. Do you have the financial ability to backpack around Europe/South America (or wherever you were considering)? If it is something you want to do, is there going to be a better time to do it? Not likely.

You only ride this roller coaster once.

Bump, becuz people really need to read this. Over and over again ...

**yveskleinsky** · Feb 22nd, 2010, 08:14 PM

Money doesn't buy happiness...it just frees up the time to pursue it.

**Jill** · Feb 22nd, 2010, 08:57 PM

"Money" is just a tool. It makes things easier, like a lever.

Money buys choices.

**Russ H** · Feb 23rd, 2010, 01:06 AM

I like GlobalWealth's points about killing local competition, initiative and productivity if you just give someone $$$ or fulfill their needs.

I've never thought of it that way before.

But . . . a few points for clarification:

1. He set up his OWN charities. Big difference.

2. He made the choices. It was HIS decision to do this.

Only one other thought:

I think a few folks here would benefit from reading Herman Hesse's Siddhartha:

[ame=http://www.amazon.com/Siddhartha-Hermann-Hesse/dp/1440471045/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1266908710&sr=8-1]Amazon.com: Siddhartha (9781440471049): Hermann Hesse: Books[/ame]

Same story. But explained much, much better.

To use the example of Maslow, Siddhartha worked his way up the pyramid, all the way to the top, and beyond to "peak experiences".

And once he was at the top, he switched pyramids.

Radical stuff.

-Russ H.

**sharper** · Feb 23rd, 2010, 07:59 AM

Originally Posted by LondonLife

Although it's true it doesn't buy you happiness it does remove many of the shackles that bring unhappiness. I've had high stress in the past due to high mortgage repayments, bills I couldn't afford, and debt hanging over my head. This also impacted my social and personal life in a negative way. I had some tricky times without money.

Once you remove those aspects of your life will you be happy? For me, the answer was yes, I am now a happier perosn. But did money buy that happiness? No. I was always a happy person despite the above stressful and somewhat bad times, my life was always more important than the money in it. If you are unhappy with your life and expect money to solve that. It's unlikley it will.

Think of it this way:
- Is a poor, hungry, homeless person happy?
- Is a poor person with a house above their head happy?
- Is a middle class, comfortable, but struggling with money, person happy?
- Is a rich person happy?

Many people will say the first three groups above are unhappy and would be happier with money. But would a homeless person be happy with a house above their head if they were still poor? Of course they would. Happiness is the emotion generated when you achieve or gain something. People without alot of money often see material goods as that aspirational target you gain when you have a money.

Now if you're rich and can afford everything you want... what do you look foreward to?

If you can't think of anything, and think you'll be happy surrounded by your new toys, then money won't buy you happiness. Surrounding yourself with material goods just becomes another way of life. It become mundane, the norm. It is tedious and boring.

However, if you can still think of things to look foreward to. Then money could well make you happier. Whether it's spending more time with family, helping others, or feeling the thrill of the wind in your hair jumping out of a plane, it doens't matter. Money can open doors for you and make you happier, but only by removing the shackles having no money can generate. But you still need that little something to look foreward to. Without an aim, without inspiration, without the desire to do something beyond making money we're incapable of being happy.

Money can remove some forms of unhappiness, but it will never generate happiness in itself.

I think this is spot on for me annway.

I think money can buy short term happniess but long term no....

I think people would need to think about the "now what"

" ive made all this money now what.."

**Cat Man Du** · Feb 23rd, 2010, 03:18 PM

It all boils down to this: Happiness is from the INSIDE ...out. Not from the OUTSIDE ...in !

**rxcknrxll** · Feb 24th, 2010, 10:47 AM

Originally Posted by Cat Man Du

It all boils down to this: Happiness is from the INSIDE ...out. Not from the OUTSIDE ...in !

Agreed. Money certainly has an effect. Everything does. Perception is everything though. I'd be hard pressed to belief that money removes stress. I know many millionaires who are not stressless. It's all perception and what you do with your opportunities. Heroin causes euphoria as well, but does it cause "happiness". I'd argue of course it's unhealthy, but I bet it causes something much more akin to "happiness" chemically in the brain than money does. Bottom line, I agree with your statement 100%. Who wants their happiness or peace of mind to be contingent on money anyway? To me, that's not real happiness. If your happiness is contingent upon outside circumstances, it's not truly substantive.

**MJDeMarco** · Feb 24th, 2010, 10:51 AM

Originally Posted by rxcknrxll

I know many millionaires who are not stressless.

Absolutely and it is usually because money bought them the wrong things ... money can buy bondage while it can also buy freedom. I'd guess that millionaires are under stress because they have a lifestyle to upkeep; bills, debts, cars -- and it all can come crumbling down with a simple pink-slip or uncontrollable market action ... I'd be stressed too!

The last time I was at the doctor's office he asked me, "How much stress do you have in your life?" He must ask the question to all his patients and probably is used to the typical response ... my answer? "Absolutely none" ... you should have seen the look on his face.

**Pinnacle** · Feb 24th, 2010, 07:28 PM

The greatest explanation of the definition of the concept of money was explained in this speech--delivered by a character named Francisco D'Anconia in the novel Atlas Shrugged.

Some of my favorite quotes from this speech:

"Money rests on the axiom that every man is the owner of his mind and his effort."

"Money demands that you sell not your weakness to men's stupidity, but your talent to their reason."

Francisco's Money Speech

For most of my life, I have tried to justify why I do not wish to give away my fortune (once I make it) or start a laundry list of foundations. I am a producer, not an altruist. I, like GlobalWealth, do not support the idea of unearned benefits. Thousands of years of human history back my belief that the upward surge of mankind comes from the exchange of value for value. You have no right to something because you need it, but because you earn it. It is the reason I hold the controversial view that charity will never end poverty or hunger: capitalism (the kind that we think we have in this nation, but don't) will. I am supposed to look up to these millionaires/billionaires who give away their wealth as if they are heroes. To me (pardon my passion) they are sell-outs for the very reason that MJ has described: they have a false perspective on what wealth means.

**Cat Man Du** · Feb 24th, 2010, 07:48 PM

Originally Posted by Pinnacle

The greatest explanation of the definition of the concept of money was explained in this speech--delivered by a character named Francisco D'Anconia in the novel Atlas Shrugged.

Francisco's Money Speech

For most of my life, I have tried to justify why I do not wish to give away my fortune (once I make it) or start a laundry list of foundations. I am a producer, not an altruist. I, like GlobalWealth, do not support the idea of unearned benefits. Thousands of years of human history back my belief that the upward surge of mankind comes from the exchange of value for value. You have no right to something because you need it, but because you earn it. It is the reason I hold the controversial view that charity will never end poverty or hunger: capitalism (the kind that we think we have in this nation, but don't) will. I am supposed to look up to these millionaires/billionaires who give away their wealth as if they are heroes. To me (pardon my passion) they are sell-outs for the very reason that MJ has described: they have a false perspective on what wealth means.

For some reason they.............feel guilty and are trying to assuage that guilt!

**GlobalWealth** · Feb 25th, 2010, 02:34 AM

Originally Posted by Pinnacle

Francisco's Money Speech

Every single person on this forum needs to read this. It is a bit long, but necessary. If I were a college professor, Atlas Shrugged would be required reading. One of my favorite quotes from Francisco's speech;

"Let me give you a tip on a clue to men's characters: the man who damns money has obtained it dishonorably; the man who respects it has earned it."

**eloise** · May 4th, 2010, 12:13 PM

Money does not make you happy period!! I have had times in my life where I had more than I needed and I have had times in my life where I have had not enough to even by a dozen eggs to survive. Your happiness comes from inside of you and no one or no amount of money will make you happy. I have become sufficient and happy with whatever I have at that time. If I do not have enough, and I start to worry and have a pity party, I go out and help someone else in need. This does a couple of things for me, it makes me realize that there are people who are desperately in need and I do not have it so bad and it also shows me the importance of giving and helping others. Just to see a smile or receive a thank you makes me happy for a long time.

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