Thread: Success without the drive to compete?

Many successful people say they have a drive to compete. They want to be the best and crush their competition. When they have crushed it, they go into another field to crush other companies. They just love to be the best. Many also say they can't just stay on the beach and do nothing, they would get bored.

I'm not built like that at all. I've never been interested in competition - when I was 16 I couldn't understand what the big deal was, why is everyone so focused on beating the other team in a crappy, weekly friendly match between school teams? Who cares? I'm still like that today. I do like to do a good job (I'm a perfectionist) but I don't have a drive to be the best/biggest/strongest. And if I had the means I would probably be "on the beach" reading or goofing around for the rest of my life - I don't have the urge to prove anything to anyone.

Am I doomed to failure, or what?

You need to have some form of motivation in order to succeed in anything in life. For some people, their source is competition. Being a perfectionist, I would think that you are driven by your own personal success, not so much in relation to others.

That said, it depends on what you want out of life and how you define “success”. If your definition of success is “reading on the beach and goofing around”, that probably wouldn’t be too hard to achieve and doesn’t require building wealth. On the other hand, there are consequences for not going beyond your immediate desires. What about your health or your income stability (not necessarily job security)?

It would help if you expanded on your definition of success. Then, determine how you want to achieve it. Finally, see if you really have the motivation to achieve it. Personally, I am not rich, but I feel that I am on the path to achieve a level of wealth that I am comfortable with. Others, aren’t comfortable unless they’re making 8 figures per year.

Do what your motivation allows you to do. If you try to do more than that, even if you know it’s right, you will end up wasting your time.

Originally Posted by yveskleinsky

...What are you motivated by? Financial freedom? The drive to help others? Free time?

I would say, all of the above :-)

I dont have a desire to compete, "kill competitors" or become the leader, either.

I think its a thing of internal and external motivation. If you want to be best, you will always have an external source of motivation. If you have high inner standards and always strive to deliver great work - thats great too. Its just an internal source of motivation.

A good example is school or college: were you interested in your friends' grades? Do/did you ask your friends and acquaintances - or did they ask you? Or did no one talk about grades (maybe except for the hardest and most important exams).

I had to really think this one through.

My competitive nature is extreme. But, I am a good loser. I really enjoy the challenge of a game of some other friendly competition.

There was a time back when I was about 22 years old that a conversation occured between me and someone that I worked with. We worked as assemblers on the night shift for HP. Somehow I got up on my soapbox and proclaimed that competition is a way of life. You can't win if you don't compete.

This drivel spewed from my mouth for 10-15 minutes with other people in the area glancing our way on occasion. This young women seemed to keep her distance from me after that. But, I laid out my feelings on the topic for all to hear.

It was not long after that that I was granted a job in research and development. There were a couple hundred engineers there and only four non-engineers assigned to projects as support. The hiring manager told me that he understood that I was the "star" performer in the other department. This was the reason that I got hired into the new position.

Fast forward a few years and I was the manager of this department. I even had engineers and a chemist with a PHD reporting to me. This same woman applied for a job in my department. She had stayed in the same job for the past 10 years with little effort to change. I did not even interview her.

During these many years that I spent at HP, I became intwined in many different competitive activities. I put together the absolute best co-ed softball team that I have ever seen. We were so good that one city league told us we could not play anymore. Nobody could beat us. Most of our women were former softball players from UCSD's varsity team. The men consistently hammered home runs. We drew spectators to watch the fireworks.

We also had a traveling tournament level mens softball team. I headed up the company's track team by lobbying money from sponsors and our company. We consistently took first or second place in competitions. We had qualifying criteria for the "A" team and let anyone run on the "B" team.

I had three children and coached almost all of their teams. They were strongly encouraged to sign up for any of their interests. These teams were frequently top performers. Some key accomplishments were when I took 11 and 12 year old allstars from my daughters soccer league into a boys tournament. We won. I had a boys baseball team that went all the way. We won the championship. I was the only coach in the playoffs that played every player on the team in every game.

Through all this competition, I doubt that there was ever more than a rare grumble about sportsmanship. Our teams took our losses gracefully and with full respect for the other teams. But, we did compete.

I still use the same model in business. I want the competitive edge and will do what it takes to get it. The win-win is always desired. There is never a need to cheat anyone. But, the minute the other side employs certain tactics.... the game is on!

I just took a look at my post. After re-reading, it did not come across the way I had intended.

I think competition is critical for me. There is usually no need to crush the competition though. There is plenty of room for all of us.

Others have said it well already. Motivation needs to come from somewhere. For me it comes from competition. I don't even have any idea how to get it otherwise.

Discipline is probably more important though.

Am I doomed to failure, or what?

Not doomed at all. I think you do have the competitive drive that's needed to be successful in business. By being a perfectionist, you're in competition with, yourself. Constantly competing with yourself to be a better, you, in order to achieve your dream.

After re-reading, it did not come across the way I had intended.

Actually, I enjoyed reading it...it explained a lot. IMO, it shows that you're not successful just b/c you picked up a couple of books and acted. You possessed a winning attitude and key traits of a successful individual well before you started in real estate.

Thanks...

SteveO, I liked your post. It took me a long time to understand the "competing in sports actually builds character and teaches you valuable principles you can carry over to other activities in life" thing. I'll be sure to put my kids into sports activities, something that was not available to me as a kid.