10 kph
A few quotes from MJ that really helped me...
MJ says, “The fabric of your life is sewn by the cumulative consequences of your choices – millions of them – that you set into motion. You act, react, believe, disbelieve, perceive, misperceive, and all of it engineers your existence. If you’re dissatisfied with life, your choices take full responsibility. Blame yourself and the choices you’ve made. Yes, you are as you have chosen.” (DeMarco, 156)
This brought be back to something I remember reading about in the beginning of the book… the chapter about sidewalker mentality. What do almost all sidewalkers have in common? They almost all seek to blame other people for the predicament they themselves ultimately got themselves in! They don’t take much, (if any) responsibility for their actions, and instead look for various reasons to blame their “badluck” or “misfortune” on others. They play the role of a victim. However, “The Law of Victims” says that, “You can’t be a victim if you don’t relinquish power to someone capable of making you a victim. Victims are sidewalkers who refuse to take the drivers seat of their own lives and live under a dark cloud of ‘theys’ reflective of a ‘me against them attitude:’
“They laid me off”
“They changed the terms”
“They cheated me”
“They didn’t tell me”
“They raised my rent”
Invariably all these ‘theys’ are self-imposed. If the landlord raised your rent, is it his fault you decided to live their and you didn’t read the lease agreement? If the company laid you off, is it their fault that you chose to work there? Was it my fault that I was a broke 26 year old stuck in a blizzard in a limo on the side of the road? It was.” (DeMarco, 56)
*Flashforward again to page 156*
“It took me 26 years of my life and a blizzard to grasp the horsepower of my choices. The blizzard impeded my limousine, but I was there because I chose it. I chose to get the job. I chose to pursue a low-rent business. I chose to continue life in Chicago. I chose to avoid corporate after collage. I chose my friends. I chose my business pursuits. I chose all of it, and it engineered my life to that exact moment. I was the driver of my life and my problems were the consequences of my choices. I steered myself there!” (DeMarco, 156)
I hope this realization has “woken up” everyone else as much as it has myself. I’ve definitely been guilty of pointing the blame at other people or circumstances which I felt were “out of my control” when things didn’t go the way I wanted, or in fact when things went completely against me. However it’s SO important to remember that YOU and only YOU are the one responsible for the outcome of YOUR actions. I’m 24 and have a whopping $34 in my savings account with nobody else to blame but myself. I made some poor finanfical decisions, and I take full responsibility. I’m definitely not happy with that number in my account, therefore I’m making plans and slowly, (but surely) taking ACTION now to change it. And if you’re not happy with the way something is going in your life, (whether it also be a money issue, job issue, relationship issue, etc) Get off your unhappy butt and actually DO SOMETHING about it! The only way things are going to change and get better, is if YOU CHANGE THEM. That is all!
- Sarah
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30 kph
PARKED
This is almost exactly what Dr.Paul Says, Author of "MindOS" It's a unification theory for psychology.Originally Posted by MJDeMarco
"The meaning of life is something that makes decisions. Things that aren't alive don't make decisions. The more decisions you make, by definition, the more alive you are."
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PARKED
Yes it's a great book, He talks about "Durable Fulfillment" = Happiness, Success + Freedom + Boundary function(saying yes to good decisions, and no to bad ones(don't let people steal your resources). Good decisions is when both parties of a transaction get something positive out of it. His book lead me to your book (i want to be successful). Still in the process of reading your book, but I see how it all this together to Durable fulfillment(what people want).
Success = achieving goals, to travel our road and overcome obstacles leads to confidence(which is part happiness), the better we are at making decisions the more freedom we get (good decision with money leads to freedom). All 3 things we want can be accomplished applying what you talk about in your book.
PARKED
To answer the OP:
My favorite quotes from MJ are:
"Be a producer not a consumer."
"If you think you can afford it, you can't"
"Money doesn't buy happiness, because people spend it on consumer goods to look rich, rich is freedom, health, and family."
"What's more important, education experiece in how to pay your bills, or education and experience of something that can provide emotional freedom."
"Money is a reflection of how many lives you've touched."
PARKED
"Going Fastlane and building momentum will require you to turn your back at the people who fart headwinds in your direction."
I absolutely love my parents and for some strange reason they also love me, but they didn't realize the negative vibes that they had been projecting on me. I had them read that part of the book and they were both quite humbled and promised to change their tune, both for my sake and theirs. If they hadn't, I wouldn't love them any less but I would have had to find a way to insulate myself from the headwind of parental flatulence.
"Friday evening is glorified because people celebrate the dividends of their trade: five days of work-bondage exchanged for two days of unadulterated freedom.
This spoke to me in such a huge way. I'm 29 years old and since I was 20 I've been working in crazy remote countries trading 4 or 5 months at a time without a day off for 2 weeks of vacation. I had an inkling of anger in me that I couldn't quite put my finger on for a cause, but MJ's blunt "here it is" style was like waking me out of a dream to the sound of "WTF am I doing with my life???"
"...if your dream is alive, you're already living the dream."
My dream is alive, kicking and screaming to be unleashed.
I wrote MJ an email at 3 AM after I finished the book for the first time to say thanks for writing it. My mind was still churning from the vigorous shake-up that it had received and I expressed a few concerns of mine and got some pointed yet soothing advice. It was pretty awesome to hear back from an author. That along with his constant presence here is a pretty strong demonstration that he honestly believes in what he writes, and that he cares for the folks that he wrote it for.
But honestly, Lamborghini's are hideous...imagine how far he would have gotten if he had chosen a real car as a motivator!
Thanks again for the book, MJ!
130 kph
Road Less Travelled:
The difficulty we have in accepting responsibility for our behavior lies in the desire to avoid the pain of the consequences of that behavior. By requesting Mac Badgely to assume responsibility for the structure of my time I was attempting to avoid the pain of working long hours, even though working long hours was an inevitable consequence of my choice to be dedicated to my patients and my training. Yet in so doing I was also unwittingly seeking to increase Mac's authority over me. I was giving him my power, my freedom. I was saying in effect, "Take charge of me. You be the boss!" Whenever we seek to avoid the responsibility for our own behavior, we do so by attempting to give that respon- sibility to some other individual or organization or entity. But this means we then give away our power to that entity, be it "fate" or "society" or the government or the corporation or our boss. It is for this reason that Erich Fromm so aptly titled his study of Nazism and authoritarianism Escape from Freedom. In attempting to avoid the pain of responsibility, millions and even billions daily attempt to escape from freedom.
You are where you want to be. Exactly where you've chosen.
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