Greetings. Classic intro, and your story mirrors many people struggling to find a way to the white sandy beach. However, you will never find it unless you get some discipline and find your place to make a stand and change the world. Wishing for money never creates money. Action and impacting people's lives by adding value creates money.
Spend some time reading some of the older threads in this forum, but in order to understand much of the discussion here... you need a road map. I suggest you grab a copy of
Amazon.com: The Millionaire Fastlane: Crack the Code to Wealth and Live Rich for a Lifetime. (9780984358106): MJ DeMarco: Books
It will change the way you look at your history, your future, and your strategy. Much of what is discussed on this forum comes from these concepts, and you might not get much out of the forums unless you speak this common language.
Good luck to you. I hope you find what you are looking for.