Thread: Going towards the Fastlane but sometimes feel ashamed. Why?

1. You have a safe, secure source of income
2. You are free.
3. Screw what anyone else says
4. If you really care- Lie. Say you do Finance. People will go to sleep and you will be off the hook.

Originally Posted by spidey983

My business is expanding. In comparison to my peers, I make more money and have a lot of freedom. I am proud of myself and I should be.

Congrats.

Originally Posted by spidey983

I hide from friends and relatives because of my fear of being judged.

This seems strange. Why would they judge you for pursuing dreams? Are you Asian? I remember in Tony Hsieh's book (Delivering Happiness) he said in Asian culture entrepreneurship is considered "abnormal" while Slowlane pursuits are considered noble.

My advice to you is this: Screw what other people think of you. You, and only you, are responsible for your happiness. Sounds like you are doing a great job; paying the bills, freedom, expanding business etc.

Originally Posted by damien275x

If you really care- Lie. Say you do Finance.

Don't necessarily lie, but say you are "an author" or "a writer" or "An editor" -- then you won't be lying because it describes your business. Pick out a title in your business, then that could be your profession.

Yes, that's what I do when I am in social situations. I lie.

But don't you think there is something wrong with that? I run an honest business that provide low cost and high quality service for various magazines, web developers etc..

Although my income is reasonably stable and growing and I have lots of freedom BUT I went through a lot putting it together.

I want a bit of respect and I do not want to be judged for taking the road less travelled.

Sometimes I say I am an entrepreneur/businessman and from people's reaction, I can tell what they are saying in their mind "you're unemployed".

Anyway, 'ashamed' is a strong word. I guess I am just uncomfortable with what people think of me.

I don't know anyone who looks down on business owners. Not saying they aren't out there, but I'm guessing your real demons are internal.

Originally Posted by MJDeMarco

This seems strange. Why would they judge you for pursuing dreams? Are you Asian? I remember in Tony Hsieh's book (Delivering Happiness) he said in Asian culture entrepreneurship is considered "abnormal" while Slowlane pursuits are considered noble.

Hi MJ. Your book is great and will serve as my guide for the rest of my life.

Yes I am Asian.

Thanks for the great advice. Yes, will pick out a title in my business. I think that would would give myself a bit of an 'identity'.

Originally Posted by Iqen

I don't know anyone who looks down on business owners. Not saying they aren't out there, but I'm guessing your real demons are internal.

Yea, i probably need a psychiatrist more than anything else. I guess I really have to convice myself 100% that my path towards the fastlane is the right path.

As an Asian myself, I had very similar experiences in which people would seem to rate my value based on title. It was tough for me going to social functions and be asked the standard, "So what do you do? What have you been up to?" questions.

I formerly would decline to say what I was up to, but quickly found that people would assume that I was either unemployed or a generally shady person for being unwilling to share. If I told someone that I was an entrepreneur then I was often met with instant criticism.

I now do what MJ suggests about picking a title in my business and calling it my profession. Keeps things simple!

I was going to question why you felt the need for people to assign status/importance to you in such a way but it now makes sense.

If I were in your shoes I'd go with picking a job title that conveys status and relates to your business... Editor in Chief at <company name> comes to mind or, if titles relating to literary positions won't go over well, try CFO at <company name>.

Originally Posted by Sasha

I was going to question why you felt the need for people to assign status/importance to you in such a way but it now makes sense.

It's not that I need status/importance assigned to myself. It's just that I didn't want people to think that I am unemployed/can't find a job/doing something shady etc. I chose not to be in employment.

Originally Posted by ryanv408

I formerly would decline to say what I was up to, but quickly found that people would assume that I was either unemployed or a generally shady person for being unwilling to share. If I told someone that I was an entrepreneur then I was often met with instant criticism.

In a way, I am glad that I am not alone with this problem.

Even if I don't mind explaining what I do for a living, it is very difficult to explain and often tiring. Every business at the start up phase is confusing and full of uncertainty.

I guess I blew this out of propotion. Can't worry too much about what others think.

I suppose since you mentioned people viewing you as an idiot, thinking you were unemployed, and even joked about buying a Porsche I got the impression that it was deeper than simply letting others know that you have a means to support yourself.

Idk, I personally couldn't care less if someone thought I was unemployed but I'm a woman and from a more western society so there's a different set of values.

Have you decided on what you're going to do yet? What's your title going to be?

Originally Posted by Sasha

Have you decided on what you're going to do yet? What's your title going to be?

After the discussion here, I decided not to worry too much about what others think and focus on developing my business. Generate more sales, recruit, and automate some of the business processes to give myself more freedom.

Originally Posted by spidey983

2 years ago I started a company that provides writing services to various business entities and individual.

My annual income for the previous year was around $ 80 000. Spend on average 20 hours per week on my business.

My friends who are my age (29 yo) are all employed and works 35-40 hours a week, making around $60 000 a year.

My business is expanding. In comparison to my peers, I make more money and have a lot of freedom. I am proud of myself and I should be.

But problem is, I hide from friends and relatives because of my fear of being judged. I could not walk out of my house with my head held high. I panic everytime someone asked me what I do for a living. Needless to say that most people I know are huge fans of the Slowlane. To them, I should have been a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer.

I'm having trouble connecting the dots. Why are you ashamed? Is there something inherently embarrassing (to YOU, not in and of itself) about the writing being done?

Sometimes I feel like taking out a car loan and buy a Porsche. If someone ask me what I do for a living, I can say 'shut the fuck up and look at my car'.

Wouldn't go that route. I'd think you'd just sound like you're dealing drugs or some other shady venture. Or you're just an ass. Or both. They're not mutually exclusive, after all.

Good luck with sorting this out.

My kids have difficulty describing what I do.

"My Dad's a police officer."

"Well, my Dad is works at McDonalds."

"What does your dad do?"

- pause -

"Um... he manufactures money."

"He WHAT?"

"Um... never mind."

First off, congrats on your success and growing your business. Secondly, I would love to be in your shoes. You have built what seems to be a thriving business and you are successful at it. Finally, I wouldn't worry about what people think. When someone asks you what you do for a living, I can't help but to remember the scene from The SocialNetwork where Mark opens up the box of business cards and it reads....."I'm CEO B*$CH" That should be your response.

Maybe it's the way you are saying it. Just say,

"I own a business." or "I own my own business."

They want more info...

"It's an article writing service. We supply articles for magazines,
websites, and so on."

If anyone has a problem with this, they've got a screw loose.
It's their problem, not yours. Seriously.

Originally Posted by spidey983

After the discussion here, I decided not to worry too much about what others think and focus on developing my business. Generate more sales, recruit, and automate some of the business processes to give myself more freedom.

I can understand this. Whenever I speak about something very awesome and fulfilling, they either try to crush it or stand in awe asking for more info. Over time, I just want to lie so I dont have to deal with it anymore.

But if you are feeling judged, just end every conversation with "I feel so fulfilld making more money that I ever did before while not having a job."

That will usually give them the B*tch slap you would hope to give with a New Porche. Unless a Proche is what you want, it's just an indentured time maker. That's not really a great way to "prove it"

I think you should be proud of yourself, your results speak alot louder than words. I had a friend that started up and ran an adult toy business, things could be more awkard at social and family gatherings heh

Victor

Originally Posted by AnthonyKrese

Maybe it's the way you are saying it. Just say,

"I own a business." or "I own my own business."

They want more info...

"It's an article writing service. We supply articles for magazines,
websites, and so on."

If anyone has a problem with this, they've got a screw loose.
It's their problem, not yours. Seriously.

This. I suspect it's how you conduct yourself. If you're going into a conversation with a pre-conceived notion that your path of work is looked down upon, it's going to show in the conversation with the person.

What's wrong with saying you're a founder, etc of a very successful business? Whoever has a problem with that definitely has something wrong with them. You can basically say anything you want. You've learned to market your business to your clients, it should be cake to market yourself.