Thread: How do I find a Mentor?

There are some seeds of success that are not depended on skill or experience.

Thinking big, working hard, making sacrifices, showing initiative and leadership can be developed since high-school.

That's what a mentor is looking in you. If you were already rich (richer than the mentor), then you wouldn't actually need one (at least not in that area of your life).

So a mentor knows you are broke. But he can recognize if you got it in you or not.

The truth when it comes to mentorship is a little strange.

Anyone who've made a small fortune develops the "God syndrome". He thinks that the world is divided between entrepreneurs and doofuses (read that as in dummy people). It's not really this way.

Keep in mind that most mentors are human beings. Human beings are driven by ego. Human beings are driven by the desire to be recognized. So if I were to search for a mentor, I know that the ability to make him feel important is far more important than what I bring to the table.

If someone offers to mentor me, I would refuse that. Why do I want to be mentored by someone that sells himself so cheaply? If I want to be mentored, I want someone who will have me go through hell to get his time and attention.

And finally, if I were to find a mentor, I would focus on providing value first, asking for things later. A mentor, a real one doesn't need a VA. He can afford to pay one without getting involved in a mentor - mentee relationship. Why do you want to have someone picking your brains and pay him $10/hour when you can pay a real professional $30/hour and actually get the job done?

So I'm always very skeptical about mentors.

I've received offers like "work for me for free and I'll teach you a lot of stuff". I've refused. I'm not stupid.
I've received offers like "the other guy quit a well paid job to work for me at this rate. I want you to do the same thing". I've refused. If the other guy would have shown that he became a millionaire, then I may have accepted. But from what I know, he didn't.

Final thought:
If you are a high performance person in any area of your life (sports, social, business, relationships, etc) then you'll get a mentor. You don't need to look for one. You'll attract one because successful people want to have in their teams people like you.

But if you are looking for a mentor with the mindset "I want to work and I want to be rich, please pick me and I'll work for free" you'll get a mentor that:
a) Doesn't respect you (in the real world, what's offered for free doesn't come with much value) and
b) Will never treat you as a equal, therefore, he will never give you the education you want and deserve.

Think about it.

Razvan

I have signed up for MicroMentor and just asked 2 highly accomplished people to mentor me. I obviously haven't heard back from them yet as it was just a few minutes ago, but I'm excited about it. The 2 individuals I found have experience in my field, one of them in Executive Management and the other as an Entrepreneur.

FYI, my personal experience with SCORE was underwhelming. I'm sure it depends on your local chapter, but the mentors available in my area were not impressive. They lacked experience and insight other than basic questioning of a business plan.

Originally Posted by Sasha

Are you saying because he solicited you to be his mentor and then asked for such a salary you knew he didn't have what it takes to be an entrepreneur, so you decided to pay him 120k to.... be a highly paid assistant and mentee who likely has no future as an entrepreneur?

He was being facetious. (He was probably told to get lost.) The fact that this guy wants to be an entrepreneur and yet, wants to absolve risk and sacrifice is a clear indication he is not wired to be one.

Originally Posted by RazvanRogoz

Final thought:
If you are a high performance person in any area of your life (sports, social, business, relationships, etc) then you'll get a mentor. You don't need to look for one. You'll attract one because successful people want to have in their teams people like you.

Think about it.

Razvan

I'll be honest, most of your comment rubs me the wrong way but I fully agree with you here.

When you've shown some evidence of being a person worth investing in, someone or a few someones will take you under their wing. The only time I see actively reaching out as required, is when you have a specific mentor in mind.

@ Cparsons: Say it ain't so!

I'll be giving the score in my area a chance. I really hope they're worth more than just business plan advice b/c then they'd really be of no use to me.

@ MJ: I sure hope so, but you may never know these days. Stranger things have happened.

Sasha,

It's simple social dynamics.

If you are a beautiful girl / boy, everyone will want to date you.

If not, you'll have to find someone to accept to date you.

Here, most people are not beautiful yet and they are begging for someone to take them out.

Instead of wasting time on this, I would focus on becoming "beautiful" and showing the set of skills, traits and ideas that would attract the right mentor.

Razvan

Originally Posted by RazvanRogoz

Sasha,

It's simple social dynamics.

If you are a beautiful girl / boy, everyone will want to date you.

If not, you'll have to find someone to accept to date you.

Here, most people are not beautiful yet and they are begging for someone to take them out.

Instead of wasting time on this, I would focus on becoming "beautiful" and showing the set of skills, traits and ideas that would attract the right mentor.

Razvan

Bad analogy,

This isn't really true, it has nothing to do with your "beauty" or your "skills". If you don't have ambition, if you don't aspire to be successful, if you don't have the drive to do something great, if you don't have that fire inside of you then your skills or ideas mean absolutely nothing. If someone is good at playing basketball and they can hit 3 pointers all day, but come game time they can only play for a few minutes before they get gassed and start sitting out, what good is their skills then?

Mentors aren't looking to mentor someone because they have good ideas or skills, they're mentoring them because they see something inside of them, something that maybe that person can't even see for themselves. Something that could potentially make the person great. They want to pass their passion to them, they want to help them help themselves, and they want to be apart of their journey on the road to success.

If you have that fire inside of you, then you are doing something to get past over your current situation.

If you are poor, you are there because your choices brought you there.
If you have no business skills, you are there because you never took the time to learn them (even from books, it's better than nothing).

Contrary to popular beliefs, successful people are not sitting in their desk waiting to discover the next ambitious person to launch into space. There are a lot of ambitious people in this world. You need something extra next to ambition to get remarked.

But maybe you know some different kind of mentors - Tony Robbins like.

I guess that in the end it's easier to think that ambition is all you need in this life. Why actually put in the effort to become someone and get noticed when being ambitious is enough?

And if I think about it - if you are ambitious, you take action. Action leads to results. Results lead to feedback which leads to better results. So ambitious people should have some results and skills thanks to their journey to get there.
Razvan

Originally Posted by Sasha

I am so confused by this.

Are you saying because he solicited you to be his mentor and then asked for such a salary you knew he didn't have what it takes to be an entrepreneur, so you decided to pay him 120k to.... be a highly paid assistant and mentee who likely has no future as an entrepreneur?

Originally Posted by MJDeMarco

He was being facetious. (He was probably told to get lost.) The fact that this guy wants to be an entrepreneur and yet, wants to absolve risk and sacrifice is a clear indication he is not wired to be one.

Exactly.. I told him to get lost.

This is what I do as well. Actually I am putting my membership website together as we speak to bring my millionaire mentors to you. However, I've learned three key points that I want to share with you.

Study him like a hawk. Know more about him and his business than he knows. When you do this you will start to naturally find uncommon but important questions. Those are the questions to ask.

To build a relationship, show that you ARE an action taker. No mentor wants to hang around people who are wasting their time. If you have deals, make sure that they're put together in a spectacular format.

Be sincere and make an unusual comment such as "(character trait" is what I really admire in you (this is why it resonates with me). This type of comment will set you apart and it gets you into their heart.


Also take notes. This is one that I do a lot but it is not part of the three.

I really hope this helps you so please let me know. :-)

Originally Posted by Gold777

Bad analogy,

This isn't really true, it has nothing to do with your "beauty" or your "skills". If you don't have ambition, if you don't aspire to be successful, if you don't have the drive to do something great, if you don't have that fire inside of you then your skills or ideas mean absolutely nothing. If someone is good at playing basketball and they can hit 3 pointers all day, but come game time they can only play for a few minutes before they get gassed and start sitting out, what good is their skills then?

Mentors aren't looking to mentor someone because they have good ideas or skills, they're mentoring them because they see something inside of them, something that maybe that person can't even see for themselves. Something that could potentially make the person great. They want to pass their passion to them, they want to help them help themselves, and they want to be apart of their journey on the road to success.

I agree. Mentors ONLY want to be around people who are focused, ambitious and taking massive action.

Originally Posted by Cparsons

I have signed up for MicroMentor and just asked 2 highly accomplished people to mentor me. I obviously haven't heard back from them yet as it was just a few minutes ago, but I'm excited about it. The 2 individuals I found have experience in my field, one of them in Executive Management and the other as an Entrepreneur.

FYI, I never heard back from the 2 individuals I asked to mentor me on MicroMentor, but I did get a mentor offer from another person who has been helpful.

What my friend did: He looked all around for a job and told the proprietor of a specialty food store that he would work for free. The proprietor allowed him to intern there and showed him all around the store, how he runs the store, and what is required to run the store. Now he has resume experience, a mentor, and a thorough understanding of the food retail business. He's going to be opening a B+M food retail store, but he didn't want to tell me the details.

Speaking of, I need to meet with him next week.

The most important parts to finding a mentor are:

1 - Have accomplished something already. I would not spend time
on a dreamer.

2 - KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO DO AND WHAT YOU WANT FROM THE MENTOR,
so that the prospect knows if they are a good fit or not.

3 - Go find someone who has the attributes ( same industry or not ) you want
and pitch them the idea of being a sounding board for you. If you can get that
first meeting - it may become a mentorship.

The most important parts to KEEPING a mentor are:

1 Have a plan/scenario to talk about - NO RANDOM CHATS - you waste their time, they're gone.
2 Drop everything when they want to meet
3 Take and use the advice you are given. If you think you know more - you don't need a mentor.
On the other hand, if you know "your way" to be better, tell them you are concerned that what
you need advice on is that issue "old school smarts vs new customer climate" stuff - anything
that makes them re-evaluate WITH you...rather than make it look like you don't need their advice.

I was gonna say something else, but seeing JScott's phrase, I'd use that at the end of the conversation... wow J, that sounds great!

Great feedback here from most of the people who are saying the same thing on this post.
"Do let him know how you feel without freaking him out" This is very much like relationship!

Originally Posted by The-J

What my friend did: He looked all around for a job and told the proprietor of a specialty food store that he would work for free. The proprietor allowed him to intern there and showed him all around the store, how he runs the store, and what is required to run the store. Now he has resume experience, a mentor, and a thorough understanding of the food retail business. He's going to be opening a B+M food retail store, but he didn't want to tell me the details.

Speaking of, I need to meet with him next week.

I went to seek an internship in a similar way, but the CEO of a company actually offerred me a job if I could solve some of his problems. But how do I solve problems by shading someone around? Is that not just a big waste of their time (explaining to me how they run their business, etc...)? How do you solve CEO's problems? I want to just have an internship, well and if it's a paid one, it's even better.

Originally Posted by andviv

Gosh.... seriously, what am I missing here?

I know, but it might be language/cultural misinterpretations.