Tiger Jokes

[biophase]

Someone had to post them...

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbin.

What do a golf ball and an SUV have in common? Tiger Woods drives both into trees on occasion.

What’s the difference between Tiger’s Cadillac and his pitching wedge?He can back up his pitching wedge!

[TaxGuy]

My favorite Tiger joke

(Warning: Strong Language)

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=farVQxwvu8U"]YouTube - George Carlin on Lance and Tiger[/ame]

Sadly, I left my audio book at the office as I was heading out today and went back to the "bad habit" of listening to sports radio which was talking all about Tiger and just made me think of my all-time favorite philosopher/comedian/entertainer

[bflbob]

What do Tiger Woods and a baby seal have in common?
Both have been clubbed by Norwegians.

Why did Tiger run into both the tree and the hydrant?
He couldn't decide between the wood and the iron.

[Jonleehacker]

Apparently Tiger and Elin just sent out their Christmas cards

[randallg99]

he's a lion cheetah

he's 3 women above par

[Jonleehacker]

This is not really meant to be funny, but holy cow, I wish our news presented stories like they do in China:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i5FlC1MpkE]YouTube - Tiger News[/ame]

[bflbob]

SNL Spoof on Tiger

'SNL' can't resist Tiger Woods jokes - MSN TV News

[NoMoneyDown]

Apparently Tiger and Elin just sent out their Christmas cards

Jonleehacker - This in no way is directed at you as I have my upmost respect for you and have seen this same photo in other places on the internet.

It's interesting how our society has evolved to a point where (perceived) DV against a man is seen as a joke, but turned the other way is sickening. Reverse the gender roles in what has transpired in the Tiger Woods case, and ask yourself if the photo (with Tiger holding a golf club - or even just holding up his fist - and his wife's face in stitches, etc) would come across as "funny" or revolting.

[Jonleehacker]

It's interesting how our society has evolved to a point where (perceived) DV against a man is seen as a joke, but turned the other way is sickening. Reverse the gender roles in what has transpired in the Tiger Woods case, and ask yourself if the photo (with Tiger holding a golf club - or even just holding up his fist - and his wife's face in stitches, etc) would come across as "funny" or revolting.

The best humor always walks a fine line on sensitive issues.

The funny bone resides very close to our instincts for what is revolting or disgusting.

[Jonleehacker]

Q: Whats the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

A: Santa quits after 3 Ho's!

[Russ H]

Q: Whats the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

A: Santa quits after 3 Ho's!

oh oh oh!

-Russ H

[NoMoneyDown]

The best humor always walks a fine line on sensitive issues.

The funny bone resides very close to our instincts for what is revolting or disgusting.

I agree wholeheartedly. Thanks.

Unfortunately these days, middle-aged, (balding,) caucasian men (most notably, fathers) are usually the brunt of most jokes. I certainly have no problem with jokes, but think it does cross the line many times (not to say this photo does, but turned around I think it would generate more disgust than laughs). No bigger example of this type of bias than with advertising. Advertisers know women are more apt to spend than men. In order to give the female audience a "perception" of this power - and, therefore, a willingness to spend more money on their product - what better way than project the female consumer as intelligent and the man/husband as a clueless idiot. Men will usually just let it pass, chuckle along, or complain lightly. And, since women form a bigger consumer base, it will fall on deaf ears (for the most part) to the sponsors.

Again, not a big issue at all. I think when it DOES become an issue, though, is when society becomes (for lack of a better word) brainwashed, and begins adopting things like this type of advertising as reality. One of these being physical domestic violence. Watch a woman strike a man on TV (commercial, sitcom, movie) whether by throwing an object, slapping, or whatever, it is almost always done in (justifiable) anger or in a comical setting. However, when (and its rare) you see a man strike a woman on TV its horrific. When that transcends into our court system (which it already has) then I think we have a major problem.

Sorry. Didn't mean to ramble on, and make a mole out of a mound hill (I think).

[MJDeMarco]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnmNxoP_Wj4]YouTube - Tiger Woods has a conversation with Frank. TheDirty.com[/ame]

[Jonleehacker]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcZ-arbR0EE]YouTube - Is Tiger Feeling Lucky Today?[/ame]

[bflbob]

Fox News and CNN have reported that Elin Nordegren moved to the top of the money list on the PGA Tour yesterday after 'beating' the world's number one golfer. The news came after the world's number one golfer inadvertently played the wrong hole...

[randallg99]

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly, can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?"============================================= ========

another one:

[randallg99]

[randallg99]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgiCX_y1BW8]YouTube - Billy Dee Williams Tiger Woods Collectible Plates[/ame]

[GlefkPZ]

I am a spammer and I was caught by deputy Lamboman350K.

[Russ H]

GlefkPZ-

For you:

Special smilies I never get to use:

First, you:


Then, our members read the:


At which point, the spam cops get all excited:


And the mods:


Keep up the good work.

Oh, wait. You can't.

You're BANNED.

-Russ H.