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Thread: Light Bulb Jokes

  1. #1
    Moderator Russ H's Avatar
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    Default Light Bulb Jokes

    I *love* light bulb jokes.

    I'm a terrible joke teller.

    . . . can't remember the whole joke . . .

    . . . or the punchline, sometimes . . .

    . . .or I go on too long w/details . . .

    . . . or my timing sucks . . .

    That's why I love light bulb jokes.

    I can't screw 'em up!

    -Easy to remember
    -Easy to say
    -Impossible to mess up w/too much detail

    So, post your favorite light bulb jokes here!

    -Russ H.
    Beer & Pancakes 2012-- The EVENT

    "Control everything. Own nothing." -John D. Rockefeller

    "Don't confuse motion with action" -Ernest Hemingway

  2. #2
    Moderator Russ H's Avatar
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    Default Re: Light Bulb Jokes

    Q: How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: None. Bikers aren't afraid of the dark.

    ********

    Q: How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: Six. One foreman, 1 super, 2 line guys, an apprentice, and a guy to hold the ladder . . . You gotta problem with that?

    *****

    Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: None. It's a hardware problem.

    **********

    Q: How many Disney Imagineers does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: Does it have to be a light bulb?
    Beer & Pancakes 2012-- The EVENT

    "Control everything. Own nothing." -John D. Rockefeller

    "Don't confuse motion with action" -Ernest Hemingway

  3. #3
    Moderator Russ H's Avatar
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    Default Re: Light Bulb Jokes

    Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    A: The real question is: How much can the light bulb afford to be screwed for?
    Beer & Pancakes 2012-- The EVENT

    "Control everything. Own nothing." -John D. Rockefeller

    "Don't confuse motion with action" -Ernest Hemingway

  4. #4
    Moderator Russ H's Avatar
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    Default Re: Light Bulb Jokes

    Q. How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    A. Two. But honestly, I have no idea how they got in there.
    Beer & Pancakes 2012-- The EVENT

    "Control everything. Own nothing." -John D. Rockefeller

    "Don't confuse motion with action" -Ernest Hemingway

  5. #5
    (7) Lexus GoldenEggs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Light Bulb Jokes

    This one is from my husband....

    Q. How many violinists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A. Five. One to change it and the other four to complain that it's electric.

  6. #6
    (3) Lamborghini yveskleinsky's Avatar
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    Default Re: Light Bulb Jokes

    How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. ...But the lightbulb has to want to change.
    “Instead of wondering where your next vacation is, maybe you ought to set up a life you don’t need to escape from.” ~Seth Godin

    http://www.facebook.com/dana.gelsomino

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to yveskleinsky For This Useful Post:

    Russ H (Jul 7th, 2009)

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    (7) Lexus Knowledge Kick's Avatar
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    Default Re: Light Bulb Jokes

    How many Fastlane Members does it take to change a light bulb?

    Just one...but then he/she has to come up with a business plan wherein they'll collect a commission for every lightbulb changed by employing hundreds of other people who will change millions of lightbulbs for them.

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Knowledge Kick For This Useful Post:

    Russ H (Jul 7th, 2009), yveskleinsky (Jul 7th, 2009)

  10. #8
    Moderator Russ H's Avatar
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    Default Re: Light Bulb Jokes

    Rep speed for Knowledge Kick's new Fastlane Lightbulb Joke!

    Yves, love the psych joke-- one of my faves.

    -Russ H.
    Beer & Pancakes 2012-- The EVENT

    "Control everything. Own nothing." -John D. Rockefeller

    "Don't confuse motion with action" -Ernest Hemingway

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    Moderator Russ H's Avatar
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    Default Re: Light Bulb Jokes

    Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: 10. One to change the bulb, and 9 to do independently funded environmental impact studies.
    Beer & Pancakes 2012-- The EVENT

    "Control everything. Own nothing." -John D. Rockefeller

    "Don't confuse motion with action" -Ernest Hemingway

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Russ H For This Useful Post:

    yveskleinsky (Jul 7th, 2009)

  13. #10
    Moderator Russ H's Avatar
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    Default Re: Light Bulb Jokes

    Q: How many egotists does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: Just one, to hold the bulb, as the world revolves around him/her.
    Beer & Pancakes 2012-- The EVENT

    "Control everything. Own nothing." -John D. Rockefeller

    "Don't confuse motion with action" -Ernest Hemingway

  14. #11
    Moderator Russ H's Avatar
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    Default Re: Light Bulb Jokes

    Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
    Beer & Pancakes 2012-- The EVENT

    "Control everything. Own nothing." -John D. Rockefeller

    "Don't confuse motion with action" -Ernest Hemingway

  15. #12
    Moderator Russ H's Avatar
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    Default Re: Light Bulb Jokes

    Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    A: Five. One to change the bulb and 4 to chase off the Californians who have come up to relate to the experience.
    Beer & Pancakes 2012-- The EVENT

    "Control everything. Own nothing." -John D. Rockefeller

    "Don't confuse motion with action" -Ernest Hemingway

  16. #13
    Moderator Russ H's Avatar
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    Default Re: Light Bulb Jokes

    Q: How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    A2: Nine. One to change the bulb, and eight to protest the nuclear power plant that generates the electricity that powers it.
    Beer & Pancakes 2012-- The EVENT

    "Control everything. Own nothing." -John D. Rockefeller

    "Don't confuse motion with action" -Ernest Hemingway

  17. #14
    Moderator Russ H's Avatar
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    Default Re: Light Bulb Jokes

    Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: Two. One to call the electrician and one to mix the martinis.
    Beer & Pancakes 2012-- The EVENT

    "Control everything. Own nothing." -John D. Rockefeller

    "Don't confuse motion with action" -Ernest Hemingway

  18. #15
    Moderator Russ H's Avatar
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    Default Re: Light Bulb Jokes

    Q: How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

    A: None. They just have marketing reframe the dead bulb as a feature.
    Beer & Pancakes 2012-- The EVENT

    "Control everything. Own nothing." -John D. Rockefeller

    "Don't confuse motion with action" -Ernest Hemingway

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    (4) Ferrari Jill's Avatar
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    Default Re: Light Bulb Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by Russ H View Post
    I *love* light bulb jokes...

    ...I can't screw 'em up!

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