Thread: Ever wish you were normal or average?

This is a great question...but I'm going to reply to it from a different angle.

My problem is that I have built up a lifestyle that I have become too content with - I'm almost too average. I live comfortably among the middle-class, have a beautiful home, a nice car, good job - you name it, I'm Mr. Middle-Class, aka Mr. Average.

My problem is that I can't get motivated enough to make that change. I have many of the things I desire to have. I guess from where I sit, I wish I had your problem.

I have friends that live the same way. While still happy to do all the same activities with them, I no longer start ANY discussion with them about their future. Most people are content with the direction of creating a higher salary.

No, I don't want to turn off the motivation and desire switch.

Nope. I enjoy my pursuit of big dreams....even more so when somebody tells me I cant do it. Average is boring.

Yes, one of my best friends is just like that. He calls himself "hedonist" [Hedonism is the philosophy that pleasure is the most important pursuit of mankind. The name derives from the Greek word for "pleasure". The first basic idea behind hedonistic thought is that all actions can be measured on the basis of how much pleasure and how little pain (i.e. suffering) they produce.]

His point is to be happy with what he has right now and not to worry about the future.

I prefer to have a great future ahead of me, but sometimes I have wondered if all of this is worth my effort/time. What I do notice is that this moments of self-doubt when thinks are not going as I expect them to, or when I am not in sync with my plan/goals. Lack of focus is what generates this feelings, so when I notice I am thinking that way I flip a switch in my mind and start thinking on what I will be doing once the plan is fulfilled. My Vision Board keeps me in check.

I could not even imagine working for someone else. It's the time freedom that is so important to me. It's not even that I'm working so much less right now. Actually, this week I'm working a lot. It's more that I CHOOSE when i work. This morning I had a slow start. The only thing I was accountable to was an online workshop that I did for eBay. Now, my time is my own. In fact, I'm going to go watch a movie and then work later tonight.

Would I take a giant step back and make $25K per year? No. I like the nice stuff way too much. But even more, I like the fact that we can sit around and figure out when we're going to take a trip to Africa and to India. You can't do that on 2 weeks/year vacation.

When I start feeling overwhelmed, or disillusioned, I do a "Gratitude Exercise". List out 5 things/people/events that you are especially grateful for right now. Then next to those, list "why" you're grateful and "next step" on what you want to do about it. (Could be just picking up the phone and saying "thank you" to someone who you are grateful for or it could be sending an uplifting email)

Nice thoughtful thread.

[quote=andviv;4688]
His point is to be happy with what he has right now and not to worry about the future.

Why can't you be happy with what you have right now and not worry about the future & still be wildly successful?

Worry is a total waste of time & energy. Why worry? If you have a challenge, calculate a response and follow through, don't worry you will either fail, in which case you will learn not to do that again which will improve your future or you will succeed which will improve your future.

Success is better if you enjoy the process of succeeding.
Janet

Don't get me wrong, if I was to "give in" to these thoughts and become average I would go nuts knowing I could do better...haha. It's just a thought of how people can get excited and thrilled about life when they really have nothing? It's just something I don't really understand. Maybe it's just becuase I know I'm too good to be average, but I haven't quite made it to the fastlane yet. I think the biggest thing that got me thinking about this is that my paychecks from my business have been thin the last few months and I just got a job offer last week. It would be a huge increase in my cashflow in the short term, but in the long run it's not for me...I'm not a fan of working for someone else.

I'm very surprised when my classmates always tell me $40K/year is enough for them. I'm the exact opposite of that.

There's just something about success that makes me want to reach it and go past that.

I have felt like that before.

I'd go home and have all my assorted projects
(gonna change the world, you know)
and then hear one of my sisters talk about
tv shows she's watched,
the whole lot of nothing she's doing.
I catch myself wishing that I also could just "be."

Then I try it for a while
and get bored out of my mind.
LOL

Some cars are meant to be driven hard.

Ya... I do experience something similar - particularly when I am busy or stressed.

I remember walking into a restaraunt and looking around at all the normal people (opposite of psychotic - like me) and thinking..... wouldn't it be nice to be one of them and just enjoying my dinner and my biggest stress is what to make for dinner tomorrow...

When I think that way, it is usually the clue that I am stressed and need to take a break and eat some popcorn and watch a movie.

I tell my wife all the time that there must be "something to be said" for living in a trailer park, with no big bills, no big debits, no cares.......just a six pack, a pack 'a smokes and something Nascar on TV.........






Then I get back to my nice suburban neighborhood home, A/C crankin', no wood panel walls, open the garage door and there is my Porsche, open the mail and the bank statements and there are enough numbers on either side of the commas...............and then that previous described scenario feeling goes right by

I'd LOVE a stupid simple life. But I like not working more and all the things that my good fortune has provided my family and I (although for me never enough) and I guess I couldn't ave it any other way

I have felt that way before. It doesn't last long, but it does cross my mind that it would be much easier to be average. I'm not, so it would never work. I can't turn my mind off. I'm constantly looking for and thinking about new opportunities. Sometimes when I'm juggling 6 or 8 real estate transactions for other people, 3 or 4 rehabs for myself, management responsibilities in the office, and the normal stuff that is life....I feel a little overwhelmed. Ten minutes later I'm on MLS looking for the next deal....for relaxation. I have wondered whats wrong with me? I'm overwhelmed and looking for the next deal at the same time. Really doesn't make sense, but its who I am. Overwhelmed is temporary and fleeting and really a minor problem. A desire to do more and be more is part of my core being. I tried a 9 to 5 for about 3 months after college. Never been so miserable in my life. I looked around at a bunch of guys in blue suits and yellow ties all hoping to become somebody someday. I'm sure it didn't happen for most of them. They are now about 15 years into a 40 year run on the hamster wheel. I'm about 5 years from $12k monthly passive income from real estate. I'd like to say I'm proud of the decision I made. But, it really wasn't much of a decision. I just couldn't stand the jobs I was educated to do. I had to find something else. For me it was real estate sales and investing.

Originally Posted by ErikV10

I'm very surprised when my classmates always tell me $40K/year is enough for them. I'm the exact opposite of that.

There's just something about success that makes me want to reach it and go past that.

Well the cars I am going to buy are 300k each, so that would make it a very long time without food or clothes on that 40k/year. So I guess I have to get more money.

I think it is easy to get motivated when you have no money, the hard part is when you start making some cash, you've got nice things and you're not struggling. Some people believe this is the end of the bus ride, they just find ways to improve their current lifestyle and never truly reach for something more significant.

Maybe it's fear, laziness or just content with being in the middle?

I try to associate with people who are at a level ahead of me and taste some of their lifestyle, that truly motivates me to step up and move to the next level.

I remember my first Gulstream flight, I thought to myself "Screw first class on Delta, I've gotta get one of these!"

I think once you get a taste of how others at a higher level live, it lets you see and feel that there is something else out there and it is attainable.

In my experience, "normal" people in my circle tend to worry about me. I love churning out ideas, pushing myself and juggling many different projects at once. Most of the average people think that I'll never find contentment in life and that I'll spend all of my time focusing on the next idea that comes to mind.

I try to explain my thought process and that I enjoy the way that I approach life, but they usually can't relate. Most of them don't understand the desire that I have to constantly challenge myself to push ahead, so they assume that I'm unhappy with my life. In reality, I couldn't live my life any other way.

Originally Posted by 8 SNAKE

In my experience, "normal" people in my circle tend to worry about me. I love churning out ideas, pushing myself and juggling many different projects at once. Most of the average people think that I'll never find contentment in life and that I'll spend all of my time focusing on the next idea that comes to mind.

I try to explain my thought process and that I enjoy the way that I approach life, but they usually can't relate. Most of them don't understand the desire that I have to constantly challenge myself to push ahead, so they assume that I'm unhappy with my life. In reality, I couldn't live my life any other way.

I'm the same way. Exactly.

Legacy Dad, you just made an excellent point. By surrounding myself with successful people I keep focused on reaching my goals. Many times, when I am feeling down I just pick up the phone and call one of my mentors, and just by talking about what they are doing and what deals they are putting together I get excited again. Yesterday I had a phone conversation with somebody I really admire and explained to him my next endeavor, and I mentioned to him one of the limiting factors that I saw for my project. When I mentioned this he just told me that, in his opinion, was piece of cake to accomplish. This type of support really helps me grow.

lol. I remember the "tipping point" for me when I realized I was an entrepreneur- and not normal. I was recently married (like 2 months) to a great guy- super stable. I felt the need to become super stable too, as I felt I couldn't take another person along for this crazy ride I called my life. ...My degree is in ESL with a minor in Ed, and I have a passion for kids with learning disabilities and who are tagged "at-risk". I took a job as a resource aide teacher in the California public school system. (that sentence right there should be the start of some joke that also incorporates a priest and a rabbi- but it was my reality at the time!) Anyhow, so I was working with the most anal-retentive man alive. No shit- this guy (the day I quit) instructed me on how to make copies, and how they should be in black and white and not color, and on and on. This was the last straw... he says, "You'll catch on, you seem bright enough." Like I'm a friggin moron, incapable of making copies or doing anything with out this jerk wad micromanaging me to death.

Like I said, I quit that day. I cried all the way home, sobbing to my mom, "Why can't a just be normal?! Why do I have all these ideas that won't turn off?! Why can't a view a cake job in the school system as an easy road to reitrement- instead of a death sentence dragged out over 20 years? Why can't I just punch a clock and go to Applebees for dinner and be happy?!" She laughed and told me it was because I was an entrepreneur at heart. She might as well have told me that I was a vampire. I knew from previous deals that if I were to act out on my entrepreneurial tendencies that would mean uncertainty and a general lack of support.

That was two years ago. I have since taken chances and never regretted any of it. I am almost out of the rat race and embrace who I am. That's why I'm here. I have an obsessive drive when it comes to real estate. It may not be healthy or balanced, but I can't stop it. I wake up at 2am thinking about ways to make something better or different. I have a hard time wanting to spend time with people outside of real estate or business because I don't care about daily dramas- in fact I try to avoid daily drama at all costs. Takes too much time that could be better spent on other things. ...I often ask myself when would enough be enough- when could I turn it off? Would I tone it done when I get to $10k a month passive? $100k? $1m? The answer is no. It's not about the money- it is about the process and the creativity. I probably exhaust most people with all my ideas. I've started keeping them to myself and only opening up here. ...I totally understand where you are coming from.