Thread: This will not get you a date

Originally Posted by yveskleinsky

Looking For: I'm looking for someone that is established in her career and enjoys what she does. I would really like to replace my current girlfriend. I want someone with a super hot body that is good at pleasing me, and she must be able to cook. I tend to be rather shallow and self centered so I need someone that doesn't mind that part of my personality. I need someone to be stable in her life and loves to travel. Must have a good taste for wine and food. Also it would help if you could cook, and I'm not talking hamburgers and hotdogs.

Gee, ya think??

I can only wonder what this guy offers in return.

Hahaha Hillllll-arious I'll bet some girls would get a kick out of that. Sounds like the guy has a very sarcastic sense of humor to me.

- Hakrjak

Reminds me of the fisherman's personal ad:

Originally Posted by a serious fisherman

"Looking for good woman with boat and motor.
Please send picture of boat and motor."

-Russ H.

I found that dating personals are no different than marketing. His ad stinks as it doesn't tell you your benefits ... the old "What is in it for me?" ... no one cares about the features of the product ... they only care what it will do for them. I can't imagine what woman would find such an ad appealing...

Can you imagine ...

Woman: "Wow, I've been looking for a self-centered, shallow man that wants me to cook and won't hesitate to replace me if gain a few pounds".

Men men men ... *sigh*

Originally Posted by Russ H

Reminds me of the fisherman's personal ad:



-Russ H.

Is that to play motorboat with? brrrr brrrr (insert shameless movie plug here) lol

You old Motor-Boatin' Son-of-a-*&$(*&!!!!

haha

- Hakrjak

LOL thank you for posting that! Personal ads can definitely be a form of entertainment, As MJ said, it makes you wonder WHAT people could possibly be thinking when they try and "market" themselves. LOL.

At least he was being honest up front! He could have shown that a different way however.

I'd say he's a keeper, at least he's honest.

The fact is that he wants what all guys want, most will pretend they are different, but after a few years of marriage, you'll find out.

We all want what we want, right?

So true.

Here's another one...

In My Own Words: I live in NYC, Boston and Los Angeles. 100% straight, handsome with a nice physique, attractive, gentlemen, smart, witty, intelligent, motivated, well-educated, unique, athletic, strong, fit, nice body, great shape, ambition, chivalry, gentle, kind, sweet, fun, happy, nice, friendly, caring, carefree, charismatic, charming, mature, sense of humor, funny, amazing, stunning, punctual, giving, wisdom, assertive, classy, active, energetic, good-hearted, warm, flexibility, outgoing, easy to get along, down to earth, social, lovely, honest, trustworthy, loyal, great personality, decent, sincere, secure, romantic, passionate, compassionate, open-minded, faithful, cheerful, sophisticated, alluring, adventurous, devoted, forgiving, patience, thoughtful, affectionate, spontaneous, easygoing, pleasurable, responsible, supportive, sensitive but strong, creative, flirtatious, clever, wise, determined, gracious, playful, independent, dedicated, expressive, resourceful, optimist, good dresser, good listener and communicator, kissable, huggable, touchable, cuddlable, family oriented/values. I'm 100 percents clean, healthy, drug and disease free and same with oral hygiene. My interests are sports, workouts, exercises, shopping, parties, beaches, outdoors, art, music, dance, movies, museums, theaters, gardening, traveling, cooking, hanging out, and many others. I almost like everything in life. I love to learn, see and try new, different things. Looking For: I AM LOOKING FOR A GOOD WOMAN WITH A GOOD HEART WHO IS NOT INTO PLAYING GAMES OR TELLING LIES. She can have similar/same characteristics, qualities, personality and interests like mine. I also like to make new friends (males and females), too.

...I don't know about you, but I have found that when people tell me they are 100% of anything (straight, telling the truth, whatever) they usually aren't.


What turns you off?: Mean, rude, disrespect, golddiggers, liars, haters, betrayers, backstabbers, abusers, cheaters, players, fakers, phony, selfish, greedy, lack of respect, taking advantages, trickers, pretenders, bad/lousy attitudes, shallowness, laziness, closed/narrow-minded, stubborn, lack of manner or class, self-centered, big ego, stuck up or snobby, think that you are all that and this, think that you know and are right about everything, pretending to be an innocent and perfect, too bossy, poor listener and lack of paying attention, arrogant, lack of active, being difficult, still having problems/issues from the past like bad experiences, impatient, short temper or get angry easily, ignorance, self-absorbed, hide/hold back anything and never show/tell or show/tell later, bad/poor behavior, play games, forgetting all the times, and bring/make a lot of excuses all the times (even they are lame, fake, poor, cheap or bad), judge/discriminate/prejudice a person before asking and knowing this person first, only talk but no action (using words only), bad/poor personality.

um. yo. It's like he was just waiting for someone to ask! ...and what exactly is a "tricker"?

Sorry- that's the last one. ...Thought you guys would find it funny. ...Kinda a slow day around here.

Yves-

He forgot "modest" and "a man of few words".

For what it's worth, I'm guessing you haven't been hit on by gay folks who troll the heteros personals, faking like they're the opposite sex. The "100% straight" thing might be a reaction to this if this guy was hit on by some gay folks looking for laughs.

(and yes, it did happen to me back when I did the online dating thing. I was not amused).

-Russ

Originally Posted by Russ H

Yves-

He forgot "modest".

For what it's worth, I'm guessing you haven't been hit on by gay folks who troll the heteros personals, faking like they're the opposite sex. The 100% straight thing might be a reaction if this guy had it happen to him.

(and yes, it did happen to me. I was not amused).

-Russ

lol- yes, he did forget modest. As far as gay folks trolling the hetero personals- how on earth would that pan out? Wouldn't the gig be up the moment you met the person? ...And I'm dying to know your story!

There are actually gay men who like to hit on straight guys-- for laughs, and to see if they can score some "fresh meat". When it happened to me in person, I was shocked. And felt violated. And really, really conflicted-- angry, scared, insecure, not sure what to do next-- it was terrible.

I told some of my gay friends about this years later, since I had kind of told myself that I must have been giving the guy "signals" (whatever that meant). But they very seriously told me that no, they had never seen me give off anything that would be picked up as "gaydar", and that the guy was obviously a total jerk-- that no self-respecting gay man would ever hit on a straight guy out of the blue like that.

I did feel violated (the guy felt me up, gave me the creeps). I didn't see it coming-- it just happened. One minute we were talking about framing a door, and the next minute he was groping me.

It made me wonder if that's what ladies felt like when some guy felt them up and *they* didn't see it coming.

Lots of conflicting emotions. And one clear feeling: That I needed to get the **** out of there. I was shaking as I drove away. Part anger, part fear. Part I don't know.

As I said, it was awful.

The online stuff never happened to me-- but it did to a friend. When he wanted to meet the person, they kept putting it off. Finally, they admitted that they were a guy.

My buddy felt like a total idiot. And he too started to question if he'd done anything wrong.

I told him my story, and what my friends had told me, and he seemed to feel a bit better.

There are jerks out there.

Thing is, sexual harassment is something many guys have been on the receiving end of.

It's pretty creepy, for guys or gals.

-Russ H.

"There are gay guys, and there are innocent gullible straight guys who were lured in by the cunning gay guys" - Joe Rogan.

What Russ said is correct - a lot of times a gay guy will try to hit on a straight guy just to see if the ice breaks. One of my friends had a guy put his hand on his lap during a baseball game. His reply was "If that hand is there in a second, it will be broken in two seconds" seemed to work. Otherwise "Sorry not interested" works.

But hey yves, I think you might like reading these emails!!

Originally Posted by yveskleinsky

Looking For: I'm looking for someone that is established in her career and enjoys what she does. I would really like to replace my current girlfriend. I want someone with a super hot body that is good at pleasing me, and she must be able to cook. I tend to be rather shallow and self centered so I need someone that doesn't mind that part of my personality. I need someone to be stable in her life and loves to travel. Must have a good taste for wine and food. Also it would help if you could cook, and I'm not talking hamburgers and hotdogs.

He forgot to say how he wants to be able to have the beer be balanced on top of her head! I ACTUALLY had some guy ask me that once! I told him he can put that beer where the sun didn't shine!!

Russ...I'm sorry to hear about your "encounter"....yes, women do get that alot more than you know....alot of times (speaking from personal experience) I would think "did I do something to ask for that?" For me, it was the boss at my last J.O.B. I had. It was very uncomfortable and happened on mutliple occasions. He would comment on what I was wearing that day, or how great a part of my body looked....he would come up behind me when no one was around and would start grinding on me... it was disgusting....That was when I decided I would not work for anyone else ever again. So, in some ways I have that creep to be thankful for that I no longer have to punch a time clock!!

By the way, I did look into suing him for sexual harrassment but because it was "he said, she said" there wasn't any grounds...but at least I made the company aware of what he did and should something happen again, they are going to have to take a good look at him!

The only sentence that made sense was must have a taste for good food and wine.

this might be the best.......

HIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City , so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 100 - 150. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 150,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.




THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard tobelieve that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.