What's with the negativity?

[Kung Fu Steve]

I've admittedly been off and on the forum for the past couple of years mostly because I've been busy traveling and business-ing...

...and the topic of the new folks coming on to the forum looking for answers and possibly asking questions most deem as "stupid" seems to have been beaten to death...

...but the reason I'm posting this is because I opened up the forum today to see 6 threads where someone was genuinely lost, confused, and looking for answers/help but the entire thread was filled with sarcastic replies and comments trashing the poster.

"That's a stupid question."
"Have you even tried XYZ?"
"Sorry to say but everything you're doing is pointless."
"I wouldn't even attempt that idea."
"You have a stupid mentality."

Now, many of you know me -- sarcasm is my first language... But dudes/dudettes the only way this community stays positive is for people to be positive!

And all of these sentences have a time and/or place. Everyone needs a little tough love at one point...

But the only reason I finally became "successful" is because many members of this forum encouraged me instead of put me down. You should have SEEN some of the stupid questions I asked in the beginning.

But I kept at it.... Asking even stupid-er questions. And I kept at it. Until I figured a couple things out. And then started to ask some better questions (also some really, really, really stupid ones).

Hell, the only reason I am where I am today is because I was on the Rich Dad forums asking really stupid questions and one of the prominent members of this forum suggest I come here and ask the experts.

I can name a dozen people off the top of my head on this forum who put up with me in the beginning and now many of them come to me for advice and/or to bounce ideas off of because I grew, learned, failed, and succeeded.

I've got to say I'm pretty disappointed in the fairly "new" members who have been around for a year or more and are acting like complete douches because they read the book. Besides the superiority complexes that seem to be going on -- what's with the freaking negativity?

It's not my place to police anyone or tell anyone what to do but I call this place home, too. Can't we be just a little more encouraging to the folks just getting started?

If anything, it's practice for you. If you can help someone to clarify their questions/thoughts/ideas you'll be much better at it for yourself.

Alright. I think I'll get off my soap box now.

 

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[Fendaril]

I've admittedly been off and on the forum for the past couple of years mostly because I've been busy traveling and business-ing...

...and the topic of the new folks coming on to the forum looking for answers and possibly asking questions most deem as "stupid" seems to have been beaten to death...

...but the reason I'm posting this is because I opened up the forum today to see 6 threads where someone was genuinely lost, confused, and looking for answers/help but the entire thread was filled with sarcastic replies and comments trashing the poster.

"That's a stupid question."
"Have you even tried XYZ?"
"Sorry to say but everything you're doing is pointless."
"I wouldn't even attempt that idea."
"You have a stupid mentality."

Now, many of you know me -- sarcasm is my first language... But dudes/dudettes the only way this community stays positive is for people to be positive!

And all of these sentences have a time and/or place. Everyone needs a little tough love at one point...

But the only reason I finally became "successful" is because many members of this forum encouraged me instead of put me down. You should have SEEN some of the stupid questions I asked in the beginning.

But I kept at it.... Asking even stupid-er questions. And I kept at it. Until I figured a couple things out. And then started to ask some better questions (also some really, really, really stupid ones).

Hell, the only reason I am where I am today is because I was on the Rich Dad forums asking really stupid questions and one of the prominent members of this forum suggest I come here and ask the experts.

I can name a dozen people off the top of my head on this forum who put up with me in the beginning and now many of them come to me for advice and/or to bounce ideas off of because I grew, learned, failed, and succeeded.

I've got to say I'm pretty disappointed in the fairly "new" members who have been around for a year or more and are acting like complete douches because they read the book. Besides the superiority complexes that seem to be going on -- what's with the freaking negativity?

It's not my place to police anyone or tell anyone what to do but I call this place home, too. Can't we be just a little more encouraging to the folks just getting started?

If anything, it's practice for you. If you can help someone to clarify their questions/thoughts/ideas you'll be much better at it for yourself.

Alright. I think I'll get off my soap box now.

This post is stupid.

 

[SteveO]

This post is stupid.

This would be funny except that it is not...

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

This would be funny except that it is not...

SteveO was one of the original people who brought me to the forum.

I remember Dana sending me a message "Hey, if you're looking at real estate you should come
ask Runum and SteveO."

... god I can't imagine how dumb my first couple questions were...

 

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[Fendaril]

SteveO was one of the original people who brought me to the forum.

I remember Dana sending me a message "Hey, if you're looking at real estate you should come
ask Runum and SteveO."

... god I can't imagine how dumb my first couple questions were...

I just look at the answers and ignore the people.

Never know what gems you will get lol.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

I just look at the answers and ignore the people.

Never know what gems you will get lol.

There's something to be said about that. If you don't have anything positive
to contribute, there's no point to contribute.

Everyone wants to throw their 2 cents in.

There isn't such thing as a dumb question -- just an uninformed question...

But there IS such a thing as terrible answers and bad advice.

 

[DeletedUser394]

I'm guilty of this.

Phteven, you are correct. Thanks for the reminder.

Funny we found ourselves here in identical ways. I was asking newb questions on richdad, then one of the OGs told me about the fastlaneforum.

 

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[Kung Fu Steve]

I'm guilty of this.

Phteven, you are correct. Thanks for the reminder.

Funny we found ourselves here in identical ways. I was asking newb questions on richdad, then one of the OGs told me about the fastlaneforum.

What a difference a few years makes, huh???

 

[MJ DeMarco]

I've admittedly been off and on the forum for the past couple of years

Maybe because after reading the same posts on the same topics on the same questions asked for the 900th day in row, it gets old. You aren't here everyday to deal with it. Some of the sarcastic users are-- so yea, it could be a bit unnerving.

Everyday the mods and I are challenged to be positive in light of some shitty things that go on behind the scenes, not to mention the 18 year old, "know it all" testosterone that's seems to come front-and-center.

Just today we were talking about how one of the mods has been helping one of the younger users. He is spending his time, unpaid, giving pieces of HIS LIFE to help this young kid. And you know what he got in return when he asked "how's it going?" He got stiffed. Ignored. Not even a courtesy explanation. Hard to be positive after that, wouldn't ya think? Well, at least for a day or so.

Anyhow, don't like the negativity? Then be the positive change you want to see. Unfortunately, that would require you to be here more than once a month. But yea, I'm all for trying to up the positive tempo here-- hope to see you lead the charge by answering the questions that have been answered 100X before. Your posts are always a breath of fresh air.

And BTW, there's a difference between an uniformed question that has been researched and a bad question emblematic of laziness. I'm sure "let me google that for you" gets plenty of traffic from the forum.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

Maybe because after reading the same posts on the same topics on the same questions asked for the 900th day in row, it gets old. You aren't here everyday to deal with it. Some of the sarcastic users are-- so yea, it could be a bit unnerving.

Very valid point. I will commit to checking in at least once a day to lend a hand however I can.

Everyday the mods and I are challenged to be positive in light of some shitty things that go on behind the scenes, not to mention the 18 year old, "know it all" testosterone that's seems to come front-and-center.

Out of curiosity, has that always been around or is it seemingly a new thing? I've noticed a couple pissing contests from these in some of the threads. Maybe my memory is a bit fuzzy but I thought many of the youngins that came in before were very humble? I could be completely wrong and I'm sure I could think of a couple from the past if I thought a little harder.

Just today we were talking about how one of the mods has been helping one of the younger users. He is spending his time, unpaid, giving pieces of HIS LIFE to help this young kid. And you know what he got in return when he asked "how's it going?" He got stiffed. Ignored. Not even a courtesy explanation. Hard to be positive after that, wouldn't ya think? Well, at least for a day or so.

Yeah I know the feeling all too well.

But yea, I'm all for trying to up the positive tempo here-- hope to see you lead the charge by answering the questions that have been answered 100X before. Your posts are always a breath of fresh air.

I'll do my best!

And BTW, there's a difference between an uniformed question that has been researched and a bad question emblematic of laziness. I'm sure "let me google that for you" gets plenty of traffic from the forum.

Bwahaha very very true.

Anyways, to all mods (and you, MJ) if no one appreciates you -- I DO!

I'll do my best to help lighten the load.

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

has that always been around or is it seemingly a new thing?

I can only speculate. I think it's because the forum (and the book) is recommended by a lot of bodybuilding and fitness types/blogs, Bold and Determined, etc. I am grateful for that, but it does increase the venom in some posts.

I'll do my best to help lighten the load.

That's great to hear, very much appreciated.

 

[Fendaril]

Very valid point. I will commit to checking in at least once a day to lend a hand however I can.



Out of curiosity, has that always been around or is it seemingly a new thing? I've noticed a couple pissing contests from these in some of the threads. Maybe my memory is a bit fuzzy but I thought many of the youngins that came in before were very humble? I could be completely wrong and I'm sure I could think of a couple from the past if I thought a little harder.



Yeah I know the feeling all too well.



I'll do my best!



Bwahaha very very true.

Anyways, to all mods (and you, MJ) if no one appreciates you -- I DO!

I'll do my best to help lighten the load.

You know, I think it's all matter of state.

You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

If you give more than you can to others than you will become resentful and drained.

There has to be balance, nobody is superman.

 

[Jon L]

I can only speculate. I think it's because the forum (and the book) is recommended by a lot of bodybuilding and fitness types/blogs, Bold and Determined, etc. I am grateful for that, but it does increase the venom in some posts.

That's very interesting...there's one particular bodybuilding forum I used to frequent that was ridiculous in the amount of venom they spewed at users that hadn't 'gotten it' yet. One of the main guys there was a dentist with 25,000+ posts. He scared me, and I was on the other side of the internet from him.

Maybe you guys need a 'how to ask a good question' sticky that you can link to in place of verbally ripping a new idiot to pieces. (As an example, Stack Exchange does this very well)

On the other hand, asking stupid questions does help clarify things for the OP. I know that some of my posts on here (i'm quite new) are pretty 'woe is me,' and the fact that I wrote them out that way is causing me to look at myself with a raised eyebrow and a kick in the butt.

 

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[mayana]

"That's a stupid question."
"Have you even tried XYZ?"
"Sorry to say but everything you're doing is pointless."
"I wouldn't even attempt that idea."
"You have a stupid mentality."

I get what you are saying, and I've noticed it, too.

To other commenters:

I know that it can be exhausting to keep repeating oneself - I've done it a few times, too.

The value that I saw, and still see sometimes, in this forum is the encouragement and knowledge provided by more experienced people. If we don't want to share knowledge anymore, are we really providing any sort of value by brow-beating people and discouraging them from trying new things?

Just something to ponder...

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

Maybe you guys need a 'how to ask a good question' sticky that you can link to in place of verbally ripping a new idiot to pieces. (As an example, Stack Exchange does this very well)

On the other hand, asking stupid questions does help clarify things for the OP. I know that some of my posts on here (i'm quite new) are pretty 'woe is me,' and the fact that I wrote them out that way is causing me to look at myself with a raised eyebrow and a kick in the butt.

I thought there was a gold thread at one point about asking questions. That's a skill in and of itself!

For most of us the "woe is me" gets really old... but I'm guessing mostly because we hear it from 10 people and on the 11th we snap (I'm guilty as well). But saying that I feel really guilty about it now because when I first came here I had just crawled out of being homeless for almost 2 years on the streets of Chicago -- I know what kind of mindset I had at that point. I was angry at the world, I was angry at everything including myself.

I'm trying to think back to "what I needed" at that point and I guess I can't really tell you but I found it in this forum.

 

[SBS.95]

If you go back to my early posts I'm positive you can find all sorts of embarrassing and ridicule-deserving shit.

I'll be honest- I was a intimidated by the forum for a long time. But I've come to find that I really enjoy the "tough love" approach. There are plenty of places you can go on the internet to be coddled. Heck, there are plenty of places you can go to have your entrepreneurship dreams coddled. /r/entrepreneur comes to mind.

Now, I'm of the mind that it's nice to have this kind of a community-

1. It scares off the time-wasters. If you can't stand up and talk to some people on the internet, how will you do so IRL with a product/brand?
2. It discourages the stupid posts. If you put up a thread that says "i have $6, a goldfish, and some dryer lint, how i start money and where do u buy the paganis?" and get ridiculed, you are probably more likely to search the next time.

 

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[Kung Fu Steve]

If you go back to my early posts I'm positive you can find all sorts of embarrassing and ridicule-deserving shit.

I'll be honest- I was a intimidated by the forum for a long time. But I've come to find that I really enjoy the "tough love" approach. There are plenty of places you can go on the internet to be coddled. Heck, there are plenty of places you can go to have your entrepreneurship dreams coddled. /r/entrepreneur comes to mind.

Now, I'm of the mind that it's nice to have this kind of a community-

1. It scares off the time-wasters. If you can't stand up and talk to some people on the internet, how will you do so IRL with a product/brand?
2. It discourages the stupid posts. If you put up a thread that says "i have $6, a goldfish, and some dryer lint, how i start money and where do u buy the paganis?" and get ridiculed, you are probably more likely to search the next time.

I've been thinking about this for a long time. It seems fairly obvious there are many subtle layers to learning business.

I did not fully understand the "Fastlane" mentality until I started a business that lacked the majority of the "CENTS" ... we did very well financially which only highlighted (fairly painfully) how right MJ is about a lot of things.

Although... I'm a slow learner and the type of guy who needs to touch the stove even when you tell me it's hot...

Can I ask you what made you join up even though you were intimidated?

 

[AndrewNC]

I'm trying to think back to "what I needed" at that point and I guess I can't really tell you but I found it in this forum.

I think at the "rock bottom", we simply needed the belief that something else is possible for anyone. Enough of the belief to keep us curious and looking for more.

I read RDPD before TMF , but when I saw MJ's story of being in a similar position as I was, and then achieving that success... It gave me the deeper belief that not only is it possible to have a new way of life...but it is possible for someone like me.

But what got us to the point of buying those books?

Life was so bad where we were....that we began searching for another way. And we found a way that might be possible for us to achieve...

And that is when you entered this journey with your old mindset....the old mindset which used to lead to "rookie questions" and the desire to be given the answers with the least amount of work as possible, etc.

It's just a normal part of the process for all of us, and the sooner they learn the new way of doing things, the sooner they will succeed.

So how does the negativity go away? My opinion: With people like you who have the knowledge to help people lead to the next stage of their journey. And to reinforce that it's possible for them.

That's what I try to do once in a while, occasionally sharing some of my writing here in a progress post, which not only helps them, but helps me gain new insights on what I write about.

Just food for thought. </random talking>

 

[Bellini]

Everyday the mods and I are challenged to be positive in light of some shitty things that go on behind the scenes, not to mention the 18 year old, "know it all" testosterone that's seems to come front-and-center.

I appreciate you @MJ DeMarco ~

I'm thankful that you are at the helm of this ship.

(+ the mods / crewman)

 

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[Ninjakid]

Besides the superiority complexes that seem to be going on -- what's with the freaking negativity?
.

I'm the hero the members deserve, but not the one they need right now.

But nah in all seriousness I've noticed myself doing this too, and the more I think about it, it's really not making the world (or at least the internet) a better place. I should be kinder to people in general.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

I'm the hero the members deserve, but not the one they need right now.

But nah in all seriousness I've noticed myself doing this too, and the more I think about it, it's really not making the world (or at least the internet) a better place. I should be kinder to people in general.

To be honest, I noticed it in myself first.

I've been pretty negative about the whole thing and realized that it's absolutely against my nature to do that. It really bothered me.

 

[Ninjakid]

To be honest, I noticed it in myself first.

I've been pretty negative about the whole thing and realized that it's absolutely against my nature to do that. It really bothered me.

At least you acknowledged it. To be honest I'm glad someone finally brought it up. Thanks.

 

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[snappyhappy]

Just today we were talking about how one of the mods has been helping one of the younger users. He is spending his time, unpaid, giving pieces of HIS LIFE to help this young kid. And you know what he got in return when he asked "how's it going?" He got stiffed. Ignored. Not even a courtesy explanation. Hard to be positive after that, wouldn't ya think? Well, at least for a day or so.

That's disappointing but I hope it doesn't deter him from helping the next person who comes along, it's surely an anomaly. I for one am extremely grateful for all the value provided here by everyone and I feel that respect and gratitude is a common theme among young entrepreneurs. I can also understand the negativity a lot of the time but we are all at different stages. No response may be the best response in some cases.

 

[tafy]

Some questions seem so basic and stupid that it kinda peeves me off, but I try to just ignore it.

 

[Mattie]

I think there is always the authoritative and authoritarian styles. They may have the same goal, but two different ways of getting you there. I think you can learn from both how to reach your full potential. And yes, when you're given similar questions it can be daunting, and some people don't use common sense. I think a positive or negative mindset can be challenging depending on how many people you're dealing with, and how many perceive things, react, and not mature in growth and development on many levels. I watch this all the time and get attacked because someone is still discovering themselves on other forums. People like to argue and debate even if you'e giving them solid answers, because they're in a different mindset. And I don't believe you can always be nice as a mentor. You're going to hurt people's feelings. They're going to take things the wrong way, and become offended.

And again you have to remember in an Entrepreneur forum you're going to find a lot of Entj's Estj's, Intj's. Studying personalities a lot lately from Meyer's Brigg's, Socionics, and Keirsey, I can see the difference in the way we do things from other types of personalities. It makes sense to me today why they do what they do and know their part, where a few years ago and younger I didn't even think how that played in when I interacted with people. They all play their part and get things done differently, and I don't think this world would be running if you didn't have them.

What we may perceive and think is negative at times, can be negative, or it can just be the way we interpret it or perceive it. When we make it personal and about us, that is usually when we react or respond. If you're being objective and know everything in here is said for a purpose, and not about you personally, than you will look beyond the negative comments and interaction.

I suppose knowing your trigger words it helps as well. Usually when we've heard negative comments in the past we get triggered when other people say them. So it's being neutral to negative words and comments and being objective again.

 

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[FastNAwesome]

Stack Exchange

They got another nice feature. As you type the title of the question, suggestions appear of already asked similar questions.

I'd say about 50% of the time, if not more, this feature has helped me find the answer before even asking the question.

And we're talking highly specific, programming-related questions.

So maybe a similar feature would work nicely here too.

 

[Roland]

I don't remember who launched it but there was a post where someone was saying that we should aim at keeping our number of likes received greater than our number of messages. I think that's a great idea because it shows the value we are bringing to this community and also if you really want to keep this ratio, you will ask yourself before posting whether what you are about to post is really going to get you the "likes" that show that you are adding something to the topic.
Let's see how many people thinks that's a good idea

 

[theag]

I don't remember who launched it but there was a post where someone was saying that we should aim at keeping our number of likes received greater than our number of messages. I think that's a great idea because it shows the value we are bringing to this community and also if you really want to keep this ratio, you will ask yourself before posting whether what you are about to post is really going to get you the "likes" that show that you are adding something to the topic.
Let's see how many people thinks that's a good idea

Memes and Emma Watson pictures work great for likebaiting on this forum.

 

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[Roland]

Memes and Emma Watson pictures work great for likebaiting on this forum.

While this is true, I am not sure that this is the reason why the high flyers of this forum (including you) got so many likes

 

[jon.a]

While this is true, I am not sure that this is the reason why the high flyers of this forum (including you) got so many likes

Likes and rep are like life.

@MJ DeMarco could strip everyone to zero and in a year the balance would look very much the same.

In life if we had economic collapse, in five years most of the 99% and the 1% would be back in the same places.