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What would you say...

A post of a ranting nature...

safia

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Hi there

It's been a while since I didn't post anything here. Well I'm still working on my book (85 k but i'm far from the end) but the most important thing is I didn't quit. I was kind of desperate because of the amount of work I had to do, but you, one step at a time and you touch the sky... I'll do my best to release it till the end of 2014.

I'm here to as you a question : my litle boy will go to school tomorrow for the first time of his life.

Since i've read that for a lot of successful people, school isn't the key to anything but a slowlane life, what would you say to a 3 years old ? What did you say to your own kids ? I don't want to say to him what everybody aside the real successful one say : be quiet, do your homework, have good grades, go to university, find a good job. Hope for him to not enter the rat race because it's harder to find the exit when your in.

Maybe I could just encourage him to learn to read so that he would be able to read TMF :) and find it more useful for his life than a bunch of certificates ...

Have a great day
 
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JackWood

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Hi there

It's been a while since I didn't post anything here. Well I'm still working on my book (85 k but i'm far from the end) but the most important thing is I didn't quit. I was kind of desperate because of the amount of work I had to do, but you, one step at a time and you touch the sky... I'll do my best to release it till the end of 2014.

I'm here to as you a question : my litle boy will go to school tomorrow for the first time of his life.

Since i've read that for a lot of successful people, school isn't the key to anything but a slowlane life, what would you say to a 3 years old ? What did you say to your own kids ? I don't want to say to him what everybody aside the real successful one say : be quiet, do your homework, have good grades, go to university, find a good job. Hope for him to not enter the rat race because it's harder to find the exit when your in.

Maybe I could just encourage him to learn to read so that he would be able to read TMF :) and find it more useful for his life than a bunch of certificates ...

Have a great day

Although it is commonly said that college/university isn't necessary for fastlane success I definitely think early schooling is different. My opinion would be to encourage your little boy to do the best that he can and learn as much as possible throughout his school life until he is mature and intelligent enough to make those decisions for himself. Without a doubt open his eyes to books and concepts such as TMF but having a normal childhood is important. If you can help to develop a strong work ethic at an early age it will benefit him for the rest of his life.
 

ArthurDayne

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Can you take a step back and think about it?

School is not the enemy. Paying 100,000 for a degree in a useless field is stupid, but you're having trouble explaining to a kid the merits of primary school? That's seriously troubling.
 
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JackWood

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Can you take a step back and think about it?

School is not the enemy. Paying 100,000 for a degree in a useless field is stupid, but you're having trouble explaining to a kid the merits of primary school? That's seriously troubling.

Definitely my first thought when reading this...
 
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FiveOone

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I would tell him to be nice to the other kids, listen to the teacher and have fun.

Also, if you really don't want him to join the 'rat race', lead by example and show him that there is a different path he can take. If you do he will see this as he grows up. Kids are smart, they pick up on everything. Not too long ago my little boy told me he wanted to be a ninja, I told him awesome, and that he would make a great ninja. Over the weekend he decided he wanted to be a footballer and next week he will probably want to be a pirate or something else.

Let your kid be a kid, and enjoy it! This is the only time he will be three.
 

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If you don't like the idea of public or private schools, you can always home school. Frankly, this is the trouble we get into when we say education isn't important, because someone always misinterprets it, or rules it out. Education is important for learning to read, deal with finances, learning language and writing skills etc. It's a shame you're asking this question. Education is the only way out of side walk and slow lane. Education is the key to your freedom on all levels.

Forking out money for college may not be necessary for some people, and debatable in the success of an Entrepreneur. It depends on the person. I believe everyone has a different road to travel, and not everyone is meant be famous, not everyone is meant to be an entrepreneur, and in reality everything is a stepping stone to success. We can't conclude that everyone can follow the exact same steps, path, direction, and answers, and come up with the same success.

It's impossible when everyone has a different background, history, meets different people, and applies different techniques. We're not all the same person. It's all by trial and error. Every path will be different for every individual. You can apply the techniques, methods, take in the guidance, but never rule out education. If every entrepreneur didn't go to school when they were five, they may not even know how to read unless someone stepped in and did home schooling, or taught them. They wouldn't know how to manage their finances. So, I'm not sure why you're thinking it's bad for a child to go to school and socialize.

Social skills are necessary as well in their development.
 

SeanKelly

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Are you yourself a successful entrepreneur?

If so, then push your kid to do well in school while you also introduce him to the idea of being an entrepreneur in a few years. He may not be interested in being an entrepreneur (most people aren't) and then it will be a great thing that he excelled in school. Don't give him the idea that school is worthless or that its a surefire way to end up in the "slow lane". Let him blaze his own path with the help of your unbiased guidance.

If not, then why would you put down schooling? I wouldn't even begin to steer anyone away from the "traditional route" in life unless I was already successful and financially secure. Why would anyone take advice from a broke author (assuming you are)?
 
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safia

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I guess I didn't express myself quite well, wich for an aspiring author is obviously not a good news... and a little scary

Of course my kid will be a kid and I'll do my best for him to be the happiest kid he can be. I won't do anything that will/could spoil his youth or even his life. I was just wondering what successful people told to their own child to make them think beyond school, grades and certificates that's all.
 

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Kinda hard to succeed in anything in life if you can't read, write, speak, or do basic math. I wouldn't worry about educational indoctrination until he's a bit older. Till then, I'd focus on the a message of being true to himself and his dreams and passions.

As he grows older, he's going to start learning that mediocrity, average, and ordinary is the well-traveled path. This is where you probably need to intervene to circumvent the default message.
 

AubreyJ

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My older sisters are two of the best students I know- one sister is amazing at school without even trying, the other has amazing work ethic and never got a B in her life- and when I was in elementary school I would always hold myself to their standards, and being the terrible student that I am, I was setting myself up to fail.

I remember in like 5th grade, I was really upset because once again I had poor grades in school and my dad told me "you just aren't book smart like your sisters- but just because you can't spell as well as them, or just because you get C's that doesn't mean that you are stupid- it's okay that you aren't good at school". For years I saw this as an insult because I wanted to be as smart as my sisters, and I thought that not being "book smart" meant that I was stupid. But, I always struggled in school, My report card was full of C's and D's, in high school my dad had dozens of teachers call him up and tell him that I wasn't living up to my full potential in school, and each time my dad just told them that he wasn't concerned with my grades. When I finally decided to drop out of university after my 1st year, my dad's response was "By the time you where in 2nd grade, I knew that you weren't going to get a degree". It took me years to realize that not being book smart was not at all a bad thing, but my dad always knew that I wasn't going to follow the traditional path in school. My dad played a huge role in where I am today because he always encouraged me, when I was up in my room building things instead of studying he never cared- because he knew that the building would be more beneficial to me than reading a study guide. He always encouraged me, even whenever teachers thought I was destined for failure.

I think that in the case of your son, whatever student he becomes- whether it be the student like me, or the student like my sisters, just encourage him. If you feel as though he is taking the average path of getting a 9-5 slowlane job, than maybe try to steer him down a different path. But, I know that with me, my dad made it clear that a GPA wasn't everything, and this helped me a ton in the long run, and I know that I will be telling my future kids the same thing.
 
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AndrewNC

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Hi there

It's been a while since I didn't post anything here. Well I'm still working on my book (85 k but i'm far from the end) but the most important thing is I didn't quit. I was kind of desperate because of the amount of work I had to do, but you, one step at a time and you touch the sky... I'll do my best to release it till the end of 2014.

I'm here to as you a question : my litle boy will go to school tomorrow for the first time of his life.

Since i've read that for a lot of successful people, school isn't the key to anything but a slowlane life, what would you say to a 3 years old ? What did you say to your own kids ? I don't want to say to him what everybody aside the real successful one say : be quiet, do your homework, have good grades, go to university, find a good job. Hope for him to not enter the rat race because it's harder to find the exit when your in.

Maybe I could just encourage him to learn to read so that he would be able to read TMF :) and find it more useful for his life than a bunch of certificates ...

Have a great day
Lead by example. When he sees his parents have success and not needing a job, this process you take throughout the first 18 years of his life will be very visible with him. He will learn a lot more than what you just tell him.
 

smarty

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My older sisters are two of the best students I know- one sister is amazing at school without even trying, the other has amazing work ethic and never got a B in her life- and when I was in elementary school I would always hold myself to their standards, and being the terrible student that I am, I was setting myself up to fail.

I remember in like 5th grade, I was really upset because once again I had poor grades in school and my dad told me "you just aren't book smart like your sisters- but just because you can't spell as well as them, or just because you get C's that doesn't mean that you are stupid- it's okay that you aren't good at school". For years I saw this as an insult because I wanted to be as smart as my sisters, and I thought that not being "book smart" meant that I was stupid. But, I always struggled in school, My report card was full of C's and D's, in high school my dad had dozens of teachers call him up and tell him that I wasn't living up to my full potential in school, and each time my dad just told them that he wasn't concerned with my grades. When I finally decided to drop out of university after my 1st year, my dad's response was "By the time you where in 2nd grade, I knew that you weren't going to get a degree". It took me years to realize that not being book smart was not at all a bad thing, but my dad always knew that I wasn't going to follow the traditional path in school. My dad played a huge role in where I am today because he always encouraged me, when I was up in my room building things instead of studying he never cared- because he knew that the building would be more beneficial to me than reading a study guide. He always encouraged me, even whenever teachers thought I was destined for failure.

I think that in the case of your son, whatever student he becomes- whether it be the student like me, or the student like my sisters, just encourage him. If you feel as though he is taking the average path of getting a 9-5 slowlane job, than maybe try to steer him down a different path. But, I know that with me, my dad made it clear that a GPA wasn't everything, and this helped me a ton in the long run, and I know that I will be telling my future kids the same thing.

Tell your dad he is a great man and that many parents should be doing what he did in this case, instead of forcing and stressing out their kids to do what they don't do naturally. :tiphat:
 

Writer

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"School is not important" doesn't meant that GOING to school is not important. It means that it's up to you to make it important, learning as many new skills as possible.
School doesn't build individuals. Individuals might build themselves in school by using the given tools.
 
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safia

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A little update. Kid in school but teacher says he is too much awaken (?) So he gets bored. God he is only 3 abd school is already boring him !!
 

tafy

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3 is young, some Nordic countries don't send their kids to school till 7 years old and they are super smart.
 
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Ninjakid

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He's three and starting school? Most kids don't start kindergarten until they're five. Don't you mean pre-school?

Please please please don't try to inject sidewalker, slowlane, fastlane principles to him at three years old. Just let him be a kid, and encourage his creativity and free spirit. Talk to him about fastlaning when it becomes a relevant topic in his life.
 

theag

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What the..?? He's 3 already goddammit, should be more productive!!!! Teach him how to code or write copy.. He will be the next app prodigy at age 5.
 

Writer

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What the..?? He's 3 already goddammit, should be more productive!!!! Teach him how to code or write copy.. He will be the next app prodigy at age 5.

Dude, it's too late. At three years old he should be already four years old. Slowlaner for life.
 
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Vigilante

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Don't overthink this.

A three year old's job is to color, eat some paste, and learn to co-exist with other kids without punching them in the face.

Enjoy the time as it is fleeting.
 

Unknown

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Don't overthink this.

A three year old's job is to color, eat some paste, and learn to co-exist with other kids without punching them in the face.

Enjoy the time as it is fleeting.

This.

As he gets older just be encouraging. Make him want to succeed, so that he'll succeed in the rest of his life. Don't push him, but encourage him and be there when he needs you.
 
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Get him a couple Monkee's albums and some drum sticks and show some videos of drummers. If he likes it, lessons. This will start him down the road of discipline and creativity.
 
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DennisD

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I disagree with the "just let it be" philosophy.

Children are sponges building their base knowlege about the world they live in. Every child is a scientist experimenting and drawing conclusions fromt he world around them. When they play in mud they're learning about semi-solid matter, when they throw rocks they're learning about inertia.

Similarly, the environment you create with your attitude similarly affects development. Say to a child "Be good and listen to your teachers" and you reenforce that school is a place they go to be told what to do. Abstaining from saying that an instead askign everyday "What did you learn at school today?" reinforces that school is a learning tool.

I share the same warnings as other posters here: Obviously you shouldn't hold any expectations or ambitions for your children. It's not their JOB to accomplish, it's their job to learn.

At the same time, I think it IS your responsibility to proactively craft the environment rather than "just let it be".

PS: Have you heard of Montessori education? Interesting stuff. The founders of Amazon, Wikipedia, and both Google founders had some montessori education in early childhood and swear by it. Even if you don't enroll your kid in a school using the method, it's interesting as a parent to read the psychology behind it.
 

Yasai

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I'll expand a little bit on what DennisDuty said, since most of the points he made are pretty good.

It is correct that at the age of 3-4 years, children tend learn the best (and most), since the brain and creates a ton of synaptical connections.
It's a phase of High Quality AND High Quantity learning.

Unfortunately, this comes with a price: The child also loses A LOT of connections during that time, namely those that aren't really necessary to function properly.

This is a perfectly normal process. The brain stream-lines itself and only keeps and strengthens those connections that it deems necessary.

We call this process "Pruning" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synaptic_pruning)

There are a lot of benefits to keeping this "Pruning"-Process as minimal as possible, since if you do this right, your child will be set for life (or at least to a certain degree).

I suggest giving your child an ENVIRONMENT where it can learn (almost) EVERYTHING it would love to learn:
- Let it use musical instruments
- Let it use smartphones, tablets, PCs
- keep massive amounts of books in close vicinity, so your child has access to it as much as possible.
- Encourage it to learn a second language.
- Anything else your child feels curious about, really, as long as it is safe.

It's very likely that its own curiosity will be almost insatiable, so no need to force/push the child to do anything. You are the environment-provider. The Child is the explorer. All you have to do is make that environment as rich and full as possible.

Don't worry about your child being overwhelmed or stressed. They absolutely LOVE learning. I bet your kid asks you millions of questions a day. It's part of being a child to be curious. And the best thing you can do is help them explore all the cool things in this world.

So again: Don't be worried about putting too much stress on your child (don't force it to do anything. Only "Provide").They just get tired and go to sleep if their mental energies are depleted. That's all.
The child starts and stops the exploration. You are just there for its own safety and questions, basically.

To expand on that (since many seem to think that giving a child a lot Options and a lot of "Material" might overwhelm it):
This is basically "adult-think".
WE are getting overwhelmed by too much Input.
WE are the ones who are getting stressed by certein things.
WE get mentally depleted after a certain duration.

All of that is LEARNED behaviour. Almost none of that applies to children (yet).

Your child is free of that all that stuff for now. Hopefully it stays free of the adult-curse of being stressed and burnt-out for as long as possible.

Sidenote: Look up "intrinsic motivation"
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motivation#Intrinsic_and_extrinsic_motivation)
It's the reason why I'm hammering the "Don't force your cute child to do anything"-Thing.

Intrinsic Motivation: Person does stuff voluntarily. "Feels" like doing stuff, because Person actually WANTS to do that stuff. The Action is rewarding on its own.
(Hint: You want your child to be intrinsically motivated as much as possible)

Extrinsic Motivation: Person does stuff because he/she/it thinks he/she/it HAS to do it.
The reward is usually OUTSIDE of that person and artifical (Money/Salary, for example)



It's a good thing you're "planning ahead" for your child's future by taking action now.
As long as you aren't "controlling" the child but rather "providing" mental nutrition, knowledge, experiences, perspectives etc. you will do your child a huge service, in my opinion.

Hope that stuff was helpful.
Cheers!

tl;dr: Pruning is a process that reduces connections within the brain. Happens during childhood usually at age 3 or 4. Reduce Pruning = Connections that would otherwise be discarded will persist.
Don't Force your Child to do anything. Instead, provide a stimulating environment.
Leverage your childs intrinsic motivation before school brainwashes your child into believing that Learning is a hassle and should be done to please others, when it is actually rewarding in itself.
 
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marklov

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Maybe wait a couple years

 

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