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Anything related to matters of the mind

Supa

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Let me start this thread with a quote from the movie Fight Club:

"When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just..."
"instead of just waiting for their turn to speak?"

The movie Fight Club in my opinion has some great words about today's society in it. While searching for the quote above, I actually came across dozens of good quotes from the movie, I posted 2 of them in the QOTD thread. Of course, in the movie they use those ways of thinking for different reasons (fighting), but that doesn't change the wisdom in those words. Anyway this thread is not meant to discuss a movie or to talk about quotes, I just used it because it serves as a great intro for what I'm about to write.

I'm honest with you, it happens pretty often, that I catch myself in a conversation with friends or family members, just waiting for my turn to talk, while they are telling me something. It may just be a bad habit I have, but after hearing this sentence in a world wide known movie, I wondered if it's something that a lot of people are actually doing, maybe even without conscously realizing it.

If that's true, this whole "quit talking, I want to share my thoughts now!" mentality may be just a symptom. A symptom of a bigger problem.

What that problem is? The lack of interest in others, the lack of caring about others.

Care About Others
In order to provide value for others, you have to care about those others. How can you see the problems they need to be solved, if you don't even care about them? How can you see what they want, if you don't even care about their desires?

I already posted about this a few times, the lack of empathy and caring about others, seen in The Milgram Experiment or The Stanford Prison Experiment. Of course those examples are extreme situations, but the root of the behaviour in them is the same, no matter if you are willing to kill someone with an electric shock of 450V or if you don't care about the problems your brother tells you about, the root of this behaviour is the lack of caring about others (aswell as other mindsets most people are conditioned to believe as right, like obedience to an authority).

Most of us on here know about the importance of creating value, but how do you really get ready to create real value for others? In my opinion it starts with the ability to care about others, to feel their pain, to see their desires, to understand, and not just listen to, their words.

What Team Are You On?
After I posted a thread some time ago, @Andy Black sent me a PM, writing "I knew you were in Team Producer," you can't imagine how happy I felt after reading those words from this great contributor on here.

I always thought you have to produce a product for others and sell it to be in Team Producer, but I redefined the meaning of those words for me, after Andy's message. In my opinion, you have to switch teams BEFORE you can touch the life of millions.

As a Consumer it is all about I.

I want that new car
I want to eat a tasty burger now
I need that new iPhone
I want to talk about myself

I, I, I, and again, I.​


Now as a Producer, it is still about I, but used in another context: What can I do for OTHERS?

What do THEY need?
What are YOUR desires?
What will make YOUR life easier?
What will make THEIR lifes safer?

By switching your focus from I WANT, to WHAT DO THEY WANT? You are on a good way to eventually change from Team Consumer to Team Producer.​


Creating Value

Where does creating value start? It doesn't start with selling a valuable product to millions. For me, creating value already starts with putting a smile on someone else's face.

Do you think @Vigilante puts on his Red Cross jacket in his free time, for any other reasons then helping others? I don't. I mean I didn't ask him personally, but reading his posts on here, I am pretty sure he does it for only one reason: to help others; what's the foundation of this behaviour? He cares about others.

The next time your friend tells you about how shitty he/she feels right now, instead of preparing your perfect response which shows how clever you are, you can simply put your arm around him/her and listen to what they want to tell you. Instead of trying to convince them, that your way of thinking about their problem is the best, how about just trying to make them smile, and feel happy.​

The next time you see an old woman standing while you are sitting, instead of thinking "If I now stand up I have to stand the next 15 minutes until the train arrives," just stand up and offer that seat to the old woman. It's no big deal for you, but for this woman it probably is.​

The next time you see someone forgetting their phone at Starbucks, instead of ignoring it and minding your business, grab it, run after them and give them their phone back. Just think about how happy you would be if someone would do that for you.​

The next time your mother tells you everything is fine on the phone, while you know it is not, hit the grocery store, buy her favorite ice cream and drive to her. People will most of the time tell you everything is ok, even if it isn't. If you really listen to people, you will soon be able to seperate the true "I'm good"s from the false "I'm good"s.​

If you care about people, about their feelings, their desires, their problems, their lifes, you set yourself in a position where you are able to make their day, to put a smile on their face, and without any big effort, you just created value for them.

Create the habit of performing actions that are based on caring about others, and it will get easier for you to create value with your business.

Have a great day guys, and don't forget to make someone smile :)
 
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Last edited:

Vigilante

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Do you think @Vigilante puts on his Red Cross jacket in his free time, for any other reasons then helping others? I don't. I mean I didn't ask him personally, but reading his posts on here, I am pretty sure he does it for only one reason: to help others; what's the foundation of this behaviour? He cares about others.


When you have the opportunity to help people through their darkest hour, it gives you a profound sense of appreciation for the littlest things in life. At 3AM when someone has lost every material possession they had (and in some cases, the loss is even greater than that) the only thing that matters to them is how to survive in the next 72 hours.

I don't volunteer with the Red Cross because I'm a great person. I volunteer with the Red Cross because I'm not. It gives me an opportunity, through being totally sold out towards helping someone breathe through the toughest window in their life, to work on something bigger than me. To focus on something other than me. To be completely sold out to the only thing important in that window is somebody else.

One cool thing about the Red Cross is that the Red Cross gets the fame. The Red Cross gets the recognition. The Red Cross brings a calm into the worst of situations. The volunteers are interchangeable and nameless. The clients we help don't even know who I am (and in that hour of darkest days, they really don't care nor should they.) We're relatively nameless. Anonymous.

If ever you are looking for a chance to truly make a difference in the lives of someone else, check out the volunteer opportunities with the Red Cross in your area. What I do is called Disaster Action Team. What ever it is you find to do, find something you can invest in that can change the lives of other people.
 

Supa

Came for the $. Stayed for the Ice Cream.
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First I thought about doing a new thread, but I think it fits well to this one so let's just do this as an additional post here.

The Shift
with effectively putting TMF into action and shifting your mindset from a consumer mindset to a producer one, things you loved to do before will get boring, unimportant and not interesting anymore. Your old consumer mindset was focused on I. I want to buy that now, I want to play video games now, I want, I want and oh yeah I not only want but I NEED that right now. But with your new producer mindset, those ways of thinking start to disappear. It's no longer about what you want, but what you can do for others, others who (as consumers) want something.

While it's one of the best things you can do, switching teams, you shouldn't forget how it feels like with a consumer mindset, because your future-customers, the ones you want to provide with value, usually are consumers.

Think Like Them
one thing I like to do in the creation of our website, is to switch teams back to team consumer for a moment and think about what I as a consumer (remember, the Is?) want on that website, what it does for me, what my benefit of it is. Of course I'm not actually switching back, it's more like putting on consumer glasses and look at it through a consumer's eyes, in other words thinking like a consumer.

Just some addional thoughts to the original post that I didn't want to keep for myself :)
 

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