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People and their poor choices

Anything related to matters of the mind

Rem

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I am sick and tired of hearing people complain about their lives, about how poor they are, and how everything sucks, especially when they are in the position they are in simply because of their own actions and decision making.

I just recently spoke to a friend about this and he complained how he and is wife were always trying to pay off their credit cards, how they are stuck in 9-5 shit jobs, and how they want to start a business and become filthy rich. Okay this comes from a friend who sits around for 3 or 4 hours per night watching sports center eating junk food and drinking beer while the wife navigates through Amazon Prime and buys stuff while sipping on a glass of wine.

They "have" to go on a cruise or go to some island for vacation every year on their week off from work, racking up thousands in more debt, because "whew, we worked hard all year long, we deserve it." Last year they decided to combine Christmas and a cruise into one and they complained that times were just rough and they had "no other choice." WTF?

Then his wife tells me she's been wanting to write a novel for so long and doesn't know how I have the time because she certainly doesn't haven't the time. Again WTF??

So I told her. Stop shopping on Amazon and use that time to write. Her response was that she needed that time online to "unwind" from the long day. She told me she needed to find passive income so she could stay home and write.

I told her she was nuts. I had to explain to her that she was putting the cart before the horse. But most importantly, she wasn't willing to give up a couple hours each night of shopping online (which was driving her further in debt) to write a book. It's sad. They both are on the same page with what they want which is hard to find but they sit around all night long because they are so "tired" from their 9-5ers. Can you say non-hackers?

They once told me about a home business they wanted to do but couldn't find the time. I brought that up to them and said after dinner, instead of watching TV and shopping amazon, to work on their home business. They looked at me like I had 3 heads.

"We're just too tired by then."

But some nights she'll go out with friends and he might go play a round of golf with some buddies.

Priorities people. I have 8 kids in the house and we still don't have cable. We have subscribed to Netflix so we can watch movies or some shows together as a family. But in the evenings my wife and I don't sit around and watch TV. What a friggin' waste.

I seriously think I am going to write that damn book about how to get things done, how to prioritize, etc because too many people I know are just lost. It's sad. And I assume there are tons of other people out there in the same boat.

I have had some people claim I must not spend enough time with my family if I am doing things like writing etc. In just the past week these are the things we have done. In ONE FRIGGIN' WEEK:

s'mores with the kids in northern maine

smores.jpg

smores2.jpg

deer.jpg


Checking out ducks

ducks.jpg

ducks2.jpg


A Visit to Fort Knox

20150802_163019.jpg

20150802_161459.jpg
 
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SteveO

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It seems that you worry too much about other people and their actions. You also worry about what others think of you. All of that in itself is a waste of energy.

Nice looking family btw.
 

Rem

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It seems that you worry too much about other people and their actions. You also worry about what others think of you. All of that in itself is a waste of energy.
Possibly. I do care about other people, especially if they are my friends! Thanks for the reply.
 

SteveO

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Possibly. I do care about other people, especially if they are my friends! Thanks for the reply.
I am not saying that worrying about other people is wrong. It is just not necessary.
 
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Rem

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I am not saying that worrying about other people is wrong. It is just not necessary.
I agree! I was hoping others might find value in what I wrote if they find themselves in the same boat as my friend. It's that entitlement mentality that they "deserve" to go on vacation and "deserve" to have nice things regardless of their choices.
 
D

Deleted21961

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Isn't this thread just exactly something you are sick of? You are complaining about your life in which you notoriously get sick while listening to others complaining about their lives...
 

RBefort

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As they say, you can lead the horse to the water but you can't make them drink. Maybe they use no time as an excuse because they don't know how to get started on their dreams? Otherwise, they probably don't want it bad enough. You don't need to write a book, because all the books have been written already. They probably wouldn't even read it. PS...you have a lot of freakin kids!
 
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Rem

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Isn't this thread just exactly something you are sick of? You are complaining about your life in which you notoriously get sick while listening to others complaining about their lives...
You mean complaining about other people complaining? Damn I guess you're right :headbanger:
 

MJ DeMarco

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Digamma

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Man, if you don't want to cut these people out of your life (you should, if you ask me), then at least adopt the "nod and agree" strategy.
You cannot help those who don't want to be helped. You will only alienate them. It's sad, but it's how it is.
 
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Rem

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As they say, you can lead the horse to the water but you can't make them drink. Maybe they use no time as an excuse because they don't know how to get started on their dreams? Otherwise, they probably don't want it bad enough.
So true! I know how they are and I know they won't change.

PS...you have a lot of freakin kids!
Yes... yes I do lol. I am at a point I can't remember all their ages, I have to ask :)
 

Rem

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Man, if you don't want to cut these people out of your life (you should, if you ask me), then at least adopt the "nod and agree" strategy.
You cannot help those who don't want to be helped. You will only alienate them. It's sad, but it's how it is.
I do a lot of nod and agreeing these days. I find it too exhausting otherwise. Normally I don't say much to these friends but they asked me a question and apparently they didn't want to hear my answer. It wasn't the one they were looking for. they wanted me to pull out the magic pill and say "here take this and all will be well" haha

The nail just doesn't hurt enough.
Very true. In fact, I think they enjoy complaining -- much like me obviously LOL
 

James Thornton

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When consumers clock out, they switch to full on vacation mode. Aside from chores, they aren't doing ANY work man.

Don't sweat it, my friends are the worst. They're hilarious and awesome, but waste away all their time. Looks fun actually, but I'm not jealous. They will be right where they are years from now.
 
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SteveO

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I agree! I was hoping others might find value in what I wrote if they find themselves in the same boat as my friend. It's that entitlement mentality that they "deserve" to go on vacation and "deserve" to have nice things regardless of their choices.
From the movie "Unforgiven". Little Bill was looking down the barrel of a gun that was being held by William Munny. He said "I don't deserve to die like this". Munny said "Deserves' got nothin' to do with it." Bang....
 
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Red

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I am sick and tired of hearing people complain about their lives, about how poor they are, and how everything sucks, especially when they are in the position they are in simply because of their own actions and decision making.

I had those friends too. Had to distance myself. The Great Friend Divorce was one of the best things I ever did for myself. Besides, it freed me up to meet you guys.

Then his wife tells me she's been wanting to write a novel for so long and doesn't know how I have the time because she certainly doesn't haven't the time. Again WTF??

So I told her. Stop shopping on Amazon and use that time to write. Her response was that she needed that time online to "unwind" from the long day. She told me she needed to find passive income so she could stay home and write.

These type of people used to piss me off to no end. But then I realized that I need them. I need them to continue to do exactly what they're doing. Which is nothing. If everyone who had a great idea acted on it, do you know how crowded this market, any market, would be? Besides, the ones that don't produce, consume. And I need them to consume. It completely changed my mindset & my irritation experienced in dealing with these individuals. Yes, I still distanced myself (because complaining irritates the shit out of me, especially if it's chronic & no action is taken to correct the complaints), but I friggin' love my take-no-action friends, as they're actually a part of my customers. And what they're NOT is important too: competition. So keep doin' what yer doin' average 'Merican citizen, you're helping me accomplish my goals & for that, I'm grateful.
 
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Mattie

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I have cut out a lot of friends like this out of my life. There still on my face book, but I never pay attention to it anymore. You learn along the way, there is no point in worrying or getting frustrated over what they're doing or not doing. Even extended family can do the same thing. People don't like hearing the truth. And you're the one that is strange because you're not reacting, taking part in the drama, and wasting time playing games, watching T.V., and spending money. They're making the choices, they don't have the mindset, and really pretty much they don't want to change all that much. Bad habits are a blast until one day you fall on your a$$.
 

IceCreamKid

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I once wanted to be a guy who helped everyone become free. I gave them tons of my time and energy. Then one day I realized that very few will actually do what it takes to get there. They weren’t willing to dedicate themselves…apply themselves…motivate themselves. I think I wanted it more for them than they wanted it for themselves.

So I let them be. In doing so, I realized that one of the greatest freedoms in life is to allow others to live their own experience. I hid away from most of them and chose only to surround myself with those who forced me to “level up”. Productivity went up, profit went up, free time went up, joy went up, peace went up.

I can’t remember where I read this poem, but I copied it into my notebook a while back because it resonated with me so deeply:

Let us gently leave the bed,
Quietly tiptoe out of the darkened room
And into the morning light.
Let us play here.
Let us not shake others in their beds.
They are sleeping because they require rest.
When they reawaken and hear us playing,
They shall come and join us.
 

Mattie

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Let us gently leave the bed,
Quietly tiptoe out of the darkened room
And into the morning light.
Let us play here.
Let us not shake others in their beds.
They are sleeping because they require rest.
When they reawaken and hear us playing,
They shall come and join us.

Love that poem. I've found out the same thing. lol I wanted to be a life coach/counselor. But at this point I really think maybe just being a fiction writer would be more fun and enjoyable. Maybe dive into the different genres and screen writing. I don't see the point half the time anymore. I know basically the experience is what it's about, and it is all choices. And just like you said. Ha ha It's like breaking a bad habit. I enjoy trying to help them, and I do, but really am I making that big of an impact? Really there experience will never match mine, and sure I can give suggestions, and when one does listen it's rewarding, but there's more who just resist it, then want to actually take back their personal power. I'm still debating on whether I want to keep proceeding in that direction or not.
 
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MKHB

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I am sick and tired of hearing people complain about their lives, about how poor they are, and how everything sucks, especially when they are in the position they are in simply because of their own actions and decision making.

I just recently spoke to a friend about this and he complained how he and is wife were always trying to pay off their credit cards, how they are stuck in 9-5 shit jobs, and how they want to start a business and become filthy rich. Okay this comes from a friend who sits around for 3 or 4 hours per night watching sports center eating junk food and drinking beer while the wife navigates through Amazon Prime and buys stuff while sipping on a glass of wine.

They "have" to go on a cruise or go to some island for vacation every year on their week off from work, racking up thousands in more debt, because "whew, we worked hard all year long, we deserve it." Last year they decided to combine Christmas and a cruise into one and they complained that times were just rough and they had "no other choice." WTF?

Then his wife tells me she's been wanting to write a novel for so long and doesn't know how I have the time because she certainly doesn't haven't the time. Again WTF??

So I told her. Stop shopping on Amazon and use that time to write. Her response was that she needed that time online to "unwind" from the long day. She told me she needed to find passive income so she could stay home and write.

I told her she was nuts. I had to explain to her that she was putting the cart before the horse. But most importantly, she wasn't willing to give up a couple hours each night of shopping online (which was driving her further in debt) to write a book. It's sad. They both are on the same page with what they want which is hard to find but they sit around all night long because they are so "tired" from their 9-5ers. Can you say non-hackers?

They once told me about a home business they wanted to do but couldn't find the time. I brought that up to them and said after dinner, instead of watching TV and shopping amazon, to work on their home business. They looked at me like I had 3 heads.

"We're just too tired by then."

But some nights she'll go out with friends and he might go play a round of golf with some buddies.

Priorities people. I have 8 kids in the house and we still don't have cable. We have subscribed to Netflix so we can watch movies or some shows together as a family. But in the evenings my wife and I don't sit around and watch TV. What a friggin' waste.

I seriously think I am going to write that damn book about how to get things done, how to prioritize, etc because too many people I know are just lost. It's sad. And I assume there are tons of other people out there in the same boat.

I have had some people claim I must not spend enough time with my family if I am doing things like writing etc. In just the past week these are the things we have done. In ONE FRIGGIN' WEEK:

s'mores with the kids in northern maine

smores.jpg

smores2.jpg

deer.jpg


Checking out ducks

ducks.jpg

ducks2.jpg


A Visit to Fort Knox

20150802_163019.jpg

20150802_161459.jpg
Freinds???

How the hell do you have time for friends.

I had two kids and a wife and I still couldn't keep up. :drowning:

Good looking kids - let's see if we can't get them in some commercials - you're gonna need the extra$.
 

Jesse Dallenbach

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is that 6 daughters sandwiched in between 2 sons...whew I am sending you a shotgun in about 8 yrs--HS boys are the worst!

Your book can be focused/centered on how you manage your timer, prioritize tasks, and run successful businesses all while raising 8 young children.

Parents with kids at home and interested in time management/running a business are in high supply.

- Jesse
 

Andy Black

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Let us gently leave the bed,
Quietly tiptoe out of the darkened room
And into the morning light.
Let us play here.
Let us not shake others in their beds.
They are sleeping because they require rest.
When they reawaken and hear us playing,
They shall come and join us.
Wow...


Also agree with @Red. More consumers = good for producers. We need consumers and employees.

I do feel sorry, however, for those that are resigned to their lives because they don't know there is another way.

Schools and modern culture is designed to create consumers out of us. I worry for my kids, all our kids actually.

Me personally, I don't try to "convert" people anymore, but feel I should at least show them there is another path and let them walk it if they want to.

Leading by example as per the poem is the best way.
 
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zr1

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I also get annoyed when my friends complain about their "slowlane-instant-gratification-you-only-live-once" lifestyle. Whenever this does happen, I take it as reminder to extend more compliments and show appreciation to my employees for working in my business.

Better to inspire from within, than hear complaints from others without.
 

Mattie

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I think my latest observation has been people get into this meyer's brigg's thing and make it their box. And fortunately, I learned my type in this forum. lol I already was way beyond that, and see people use it as an excuse to succeed, no matter what they're type. And I think they end up focusing to much on it, and mixing common emotions, feelings, habits, and thoughts with that stuff. It's not the first time I've seen people get caught in these types of tools. Sure they may be fun, and interesting, but I guess I don't believe in limiting myself and allowing a label to stop me from succeeding.

I can say I'm an introvert but from being in here, I can tell you I don't think like most of them. And perhaps it's because I've gone past those stages of development. I do the same lately @andy. I pretty much speak a different language these days, it's quite over their heads for the most part. And I suppose it just seems like a bad habit I don't need at this point. lol INFJ's like to help people all the time. And fortunately, I'm like what for? Perhaps you're really not helping them, but interfering in their own growth and development. Perhaps they just have to learn to stop giving away their personal power. And truthfully do they really listen anyway.
 

OscarDeuce

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Y'all know meyers-briggs is bunk...don't you? It was made up in the 1940s by a mother-daughter pair with an "interest" in the work of Carl Jung but no psychological training or credentials. I pity the multitudes who have been denied jobs or passed over for well deserved promotions because of this horseshit.

Cheers,
O-2
 
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