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Old friends, new friends

Topics relating to managing people and relationships

pgtownsyou

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I have a deeply rooted group of friends that goes back to about 2002. We have been a VERY close group ever since.

About a year ago I read TMF and it really hit home. Since then I have taken some big steps into the entrepreneurial world. I know it is the path that I want to take for life.

Unfortunately, my friends don't see things the same. I did get 2 of them to read the book, but their lives literally still revolve around video games and television series. My roommate will spend entire weekend switching back and forth between video games and TV, and that will be all that he does.

I feel as if these relationships are becoming toxic and are greatly holding me back in my ventures. I'm not sure what do, as I do not have many friendships outside of this group.

At the same time, I am hoping to find some people who share my passion and drive for entrepreneurship. How have you guys met friends who you can share your journey with and help each other along?
 
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OscarDeuce

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I got kind of a rough start. As a young man, I was not what you would call a "model citizen." Rather, I was what today would be called a thug. I had a lot of friends, and we had thuggery in common. Then one day, I got an amazing break. It's a long story, but let's just say I when from career criminal to up and coming corporate executive almost overnight. The only thing that was a hold over from my old life was...my friends.

I remember clearly when the light bulb lit up for me. It was after work. Hot July night. There was some drinking. Pizza. More drinking. Some random vandalism. More drinking. A fight, with the combatants literally kissing and making up drunkenly when it was over. More drinking. And it hit me. WTF are you doing here? It was at that point that I realized that my current friends were not going to take me where I wanted to go. I wasn't going to pull them up, they were continually going to drag me down. So, I made a hard decision. I would break off those old friendships and seek out new ones. I would strive to make friends above my socioeconomic level, not below. It wasn't an easy choice. My old friends were close, like brothers. Some of them would take a bullet for me. One did. But, I'd outgrown them. So gradually, my friends changed. The bikers, dealers, etc. gave way to college professors, CEOs, and lawyers.

At the same time, I went from street hood to electronics tech, to engineering manager, to vice president, to CEO. Coincidence? I'll let you be the judge.

Cheers,
O-2
 

pgtownsyou

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Where did you meet these new friends of yours? My networking skills are very limited
 

Get Right

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Peakdesire

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That was my exact situation bro.

My friends were just sitting on a couch playing video games and smoking weed.

I was living my at my friends place when I was 18 for a month once, and one day my friend noticed that I had been a little quiet and depressed for a couple of days and he asked what's wrong?

I replied: I'm F*cking bored, I need something new. There has to be more to life than these games and sitting around.

You know what he replied?

''What new? should there be something else?''

Or something along those lines.

That's when it hit me. I need to get rid of these people. And I did.

What I'm i doing now?

Reading great books every day, meditating every day, eating healthy, building my physique, just about to launch my fitness & self development blog and will write 2 ebooks. And Also starting self-publishing today.

Where are my old friends?

Still on the same couch playing FIFA.
 

OscarDeuce

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Where did you meet these new friends of yours? My networking skills are very limited
As a kid, I was obsessed with airplanes. So, once I had enough money, I started taking flying lessons. I got my private license when I was 17. I was perhaps 25 or so when I came to the realization I needed to make a change. Now, flying is an expensive hobby that attracted a lot of exactly the right kind of people that I wanted for my "new friends." And even better, I already knew some of them, at least casually. So, I just focused on those I already knew to convert acquaintances to friends and from there was introduced to yet others that fit the profile I was looking for.

Now, it might sound a bit calculating but rest assured, real friendships, some of which persist to this day resulted. Because most truly successful people were somewhat older than I was at the time, sadly many of them are no longer with us. But, the friendships that resulted were genuine and lasted decades.

Understand, it did take work on my part. I changed the way I dressed. Tried to eliminate most of the foul language. Learned to drink Jim Beam from a glass instead of straight from the bottle, that kind of thing. Oh, and I read "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Three times.

I don't think you have to take up an expensive hobby to meet new friends, however. Someone posted above me that this is a pretty good place. I know there are some on here organizing real life meet ups. Check them out. Another place might be local business networking groups. If you're of the younger demographic like many on here don't be intimidated by approaching those who are older and more successful than yourself. They were once in your position, and speaking as one of "them" now, many of us will be delighted to meet a young person who wants to achieve great things in life. Hope this helps.

Cheers,
O-2
 

juturna

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All of my old friends are doing somewhat ambitious things like I am, but I don't socialize or try to bring them back into my life for things are different after 4 years of not keeping in touch.

My new friends are way better than my old ones and have respect and insight and knowledge.

The old ones just have money and ego and pride.
 
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Kung Fu Steve

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I think what you'll find with most people who first "read the book" (or any other metaphor for changing lifestyle/mindset/habits/interests/etc.) is that they immediately become an evangelist.

"YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK! IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! READ IT READ IT READ IT!"

(or, again, "try this diet" or "sign up for crossfit" or "start paying for the unlimited rejection plan on tinder")

...it kind of sounds like you did this first thing out of the gate.

And, look, we all want to share our peak experiences with others -- we think it will take the experience to the next level if others share it with us.

The trouble is, most evangelists sound less like a helpful hand and more like a religious nutcase.

If we had the time, my first question would be why did you decide to share the information first before actually going and trying some things? A good question for reflection because it will teach you a lot about your psychology and internal conflicts that are going on.

Next, realize that most people have a prejudice or misconceived assumptions about people who are just starting out in business. With your current friends, I might avoid the subject and start finding others who share your new-found mantra. E.g. here.

Third, you didn't get to this point in your life overnight, don't expect everything to change overnight. Most of us spent years on the forum before meeting in person but I can honestly say there is a group of about 50 people on here that I treat as family and will do almost anything for. (I did say ALMOST guys, keep your hands to yourself!)

The old saying "don't throw the baby out with the bath water" holds true for all the new evangelists out there. Give it a little bit of time. You know what they say... patience is a virgin!
 

Borntowin

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I really understand you. I was in the same situation. From that time i lost a lot of my friends and spend my time doing my work. It was sad at the beginning but now when i look at my old friends and their lives i understand that i made a right choice.
 

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