My dad won't let me leave school

[Olavi]

I am currently doing a diploma and will finish by the end of this year, what I then wanted to do after am done with it is go straight into business. I had a talk with my dad about it and he shot the idea down completely saying I have to go back to go get that degree before i can leave school.

Of course i did not like the idea, but what can i do about it??

 

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[Lavi Fletcher]

You can still work on a business by night and study by day.

 

[Mr.Optimistic]

I'm in the exact same situation. I try day after day to persuade my parents to let me quit school. But, I had an epiphany a few days back.

If you're like me, you probably want to stop schooling as you don't see yourself getting any benefits from school that you wouldn't get from starting a business. However, a desire alone is not enough. Your dad most likely sees your desire as an excuse to give up.

If you're really serious about leaving school. You have to show proof that you have the capability to start a business. Perhaps get a site up and running and get a few paying customers. Show your dad that you have something that works. That you are serious about this. Proof is more powerful that any amount of convincing.

My plan is to freelance until I get the money to kick off my business. As soon as I get a few customers, I'll try again. But for now, no talk and more action. The time 'convincing' is better off spent to plan my fastlane journey.

Like the guy above me said, work on the fastlane at night and study by day. Good luck Olavi!

 

[AgainstAllOdds]

College is the new high school.

People are living longer. People are working longer.

If you can get your diploma without debt, then do it. Meet people. Work on your personal skills. Enjoy yourself. Learn what you want out of life.

Hustle on the side.

Then when that side hustle becomes your main hustle, drop out.

And if it doesn't become the main hustle, then get a degree and try again.

 

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[Kevin D. Smith]

Why does it matter what you dad thinks? It states you're from Namibia so I don't know what your school system is, but I'm assuming that finishing your diploma means finishing government mandated schooling. If you're a legal adult what's stopping you from moving out and starting a venture?

Why are you so stifled by your father's opinion?

 

[Vick]

Finish your school

 

[loop101]

I am currently doing a diploma and will finish by the end of this year, what I then wanted to do after am done with it is go straight into business. I had a talk with my dad about it and he shot the idea down completely saying I have to go back to go get that degree before i can leave school.

Of course i did not like the idea, but what can i do about it??

If you plan to EVER apply for a job, then get a degree.

If you are 100% certain you will NEVER have to ask someone to employ you, then skip the degree.

IMHO, it's that simple.

 

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[jason91]

I am currently doing a diploma and will finish by the end of this year, what I then wanted to do after am done with it is go straight into business. I had a talk with my dad about it and he shot the idea down completely saying I have to go back to go get that degree before i can leave school.

Of course i did not like the idea, but what can i do about it??

Hey dude, me and my dad used to get into arguments day after day about these things.

At some point in your life you will need to decide. Yep. You. Not your father or mother. Not your friends or family. You. You'll need to take full responsibility for what you choose to do.

Family members all want the best for you, but its hard for most people to understand the entrepreneurial "heroine", the drive and determination of creating something great for the world. Of course I barely know you, and your WHY may be different.

When I was younger, I used to resent my parents for shooting down my ideas. I'm more mature now. I can see they've always wanted the best for me. Your dad probably wants the best for you.

Remember that family, girlfriends, teachers, and friends generally say what they feel. When they're telling you not to do this or that, it is simply because they think you will lose something by doing it. People have different experiences, and most 9-5 people would say business is not safe. And to be honest - they are kind of right.

Your safety in business is based on how great you are at creating and marketing value that is better, cheaper, or something not found elsewhere. It's worse than gambling if you don't know how to add value. Expect your first business or first few years to be like that. But you will learn very valuable lessons. Now the question really is - do you have endurance to be broke and maybe starving the whole year? Or does your situation need a job to temporarily pay the bills? Everyone's situation and character is different. That is why you must make the final decision.

You are the person living your life

 

[RadioActive]

If your parents are supporting you, stay in school. If your parents are willing to pay for your college, go to college.

I was two months away from graduating when I dropped out. I wish I had finished. You only graduate high school once.

 

[Olavi]

I appreciate the feedback guys, thanks.

Let me give a little overview of how our education system is like. you start at kindergarten to grade 7, which is primary school then grade 8 to 12 which high school. with a grade 12 certificate in my country you can get low paying job easily e.g waiter or something. Usually after grade 12 we go to college or university where I am now. By the end of this year I will be done with my diploma (ADR) and with it I can get a decent job e.g an arbitrator. but what my dad wants me to do is go do a degree in law, thats some 4years of schooling again, plus the huge loans that come with it around 30 000per year.

My real concern is the hours that am gonna have to put in during those 4years, I have friends doing law now that I hardly see, forever buried in books. It could of just been better to invest all that time and energy into my business, then into a degree i doubt I will really go use.

 

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[Mr.B]

@Olavi, you are an adult and need to make your own decisions.

I'm a Dad. I can appreciate where your Dad is coming from, he wants what is best for you.

That being said, it doesn't mean that he is right.

Personally, I think it is silly to spend four years and ~$120,000 getting a degree that you won't use.

If I was you, I'd tell my Dad that that I was going to spend a year exploring my business interests after finishing my diploma. I'd promise to work part time during that year to cover my expenses (assuming you are living at home) and to re-evaluate things after 12 months on the understanding that I'd go and get a degree if my business plans don't work it.

You may find that he is more agreeable if you liken it to how many people take a 'gap year' to travel abroad etc.

 

[Ninjakid]

You don't just start doing business and suddenly become good at it. You're going to spend at least a year screwing around, making mistakes, and juggling ideas before you have something that works; unless you've started businesses in the past.

Get your degree, and work on your business in your spare time. You may become fastlane within that time, you may not, but you'll at least have an accomplishment to show for.

 

[Digamma]

Holy shit, we have a discussion like this every day now. People really are tired of formal education.

Me and my father used to be at each other's throat since forever. Make money. He'll shut up.
If you can't manage to do any money while you're in school, than this game it's not for you. That's just truth. Hence, hustle and show your fiber.

 

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[FeaRxUnLeAsHeD]

How old are you? If you think your dad can make the decision for you, then you probably aren't old enough to make the decision to drop out of school

 

[Phones]

Had the same problem.

Built the business anyway while going to college, eventually quit.

Business generates enought money that my parents finally understood that, while a degree would be a good safety net (their saying), what I'm "getting paid" right now far exceeds the benefit of getting a degree sooner.

 

[Olavi]

Ok guys, so the majority of people here think I should rather stay in school and at the same time do business on the side, until I have enough proof (money) to show to my dad that its worth the risk to leave school.

Sounds like a win_win situation.
Thanks for the input guys.

 

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[Vigilante]

If you can't figure this out without the random opinions of anonymous internet posters, your Dad is likely correct.

 

[JAJT]

I'm not going to argue for or against the merits of school, however I will comment on "my dad won't let me".

This statement embodies one of the largest "mental barriers" between being an adult and being a child.

A child does as they are old, "or else" (ominous, I know...). Children effectively do not have free will. It is a trait that is held in trust by their parents until the child blossoms into an adult and retrieves it.

An adult does as they choose to do, with their own free will.

The sad part of this is that one of the most life-altering decisions an individual can make occurs right between these two moments - higher education. A child, lacking free will, becomes the result of their parent's choices, for better or worse. And it could be for the better - Lord knows there is enough good and bad stories from both sides of that coin. For every indebted and bitter medical student forced into a path they didn't want there is surely a rich and prosperous and happy doctor who is saving lives and thanking their parents. But without exercising your free will you are allowing your parents to make this choice for you. It is not yours unless you take ownership and exercise your free will.

All this is to say, no, your father is not preventing you from doing anything. You are either entrusting him with your free will as a child does, or you aren't. You either trust his judgement over your own, or you don't.

Accept that you are a child and your father knows best, and follow his advice. Or decide that you are going to make an adult decision and do what YOU please. There may very well be consequences - welcome to adulthood. But that choice IS yours.

 

[ZCP]

Friend of mine had the same issues. He did as he was told, got his minimum grades and toed the line while also working on his business. Then he showed his dad the checks he was getting and returns he was getting (over a period of time, not just the first sale). His dad then pulled a bunch of retirement money out and funded his next round of growth since he was doing better than his dad.

Finish school while working on your business. Once you can show results, dad will come around and probably be your biggest supporter.

If your first thought is 'but I don't have time for both'..... then two things, 1) instead of thinking 'why can't I?' think 'how can I?' and 2) do you really think any of us have enough time for our business?

 

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[Olavi]

I'm not going to argue for or against the merits of school, however I will comment on "my dad won't let me".

This statement embodies one of the largest "mental barriers" between being an adult and being a child.

A child does as they are old, "or else" (ominous, I know...). Children effectively do not have free will. It is a trait that is held in trust by their parents until the child blossoms into an adult and retrieves it.

An adult does as they choose to do, with their own free will.

The sad part of this is that one of the most life-altering decisions an individual can make occurs right between these two moments - higher education. A child, lacking free will, becomes the result of their parent's choices, for better or worse. And it could be for the better - Lord knows there is enough good and bad stories from both sides of that coin. For every indebted and bitter medical student forced into a path they didn't want there is surely a rich and prosperous and happy doctor who is saving lives and thanking their parents. But without exercising your free will you are allowing your parents to make this choice for you. It is not yours unless you take ownership and exercise your free will.

All this is to say, no, your father is not preventing you from doing anything. You are either entrusting him with your free will as a child does, or you aren't. You either trust his judgement over your own, or you don't.

Accept that you are a child and your father knows best, and follow his advice. Or decide that you are going to make an adult decision and do what YOU please. There may very well be consequences - welcome to adulthood. But that choice IS yours.

This! I didnt see it in that way at all and sadly it actually is true. Thanks for the eye opener here.

I would like to know for people on here that dropped out of school against your parents initial wishes, how was or how did the relationship change between you and your parents?

 

[MJ DeMarco]

OP is from Nambia, the value of a college education there might be 10X more valuable than a cookie-cutter degree from the states.

None of us from the states know the answer, my gut says your dad is right.

 

[Maciej Micek]

OP, do you have a way to support yourself if you wouldn't make profit from the business for half a year for example? How are you with languages, can you move? What ties ou to staying right there where your dad wants to stay? What are your options? Because if you have a niche picked (and it's profitable), some savings to sustain yourself without your parents' support and are fed up with your current situation - this might just be the time to go for it.

 

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[RHL]

None of us from the states know the answer, my gut says your dad is right.

Yeah, that's a vital point. Here in the states, my trash man probaby has a master's degree. In Some parts of Asia and Africa, a degree is the difference between comfort and subsistence living. Also, depending on the infrastructure, starting a business may be far more difficult. National shipping and the internet make it easier than ever before to find your target market. When I was in India, I saw a lot of business owners who were basically on the sidewalk because the only way to get their product out from their rural store to their rural customers was to drive or walk it.

 

[townhaus]

I am currently doing a diploma and will finish by the end of this year, what I then wanted to do after am done with it is go straight into business. I had a talk with my dad about it and he shot the idea down completely saying I have to go back to go get that degree before i can leave school.

Of course i did not like the idea, but what can i do about it??

I was in 2nd year of Uni when i realised my parents wern't going to support me with my goals & ambitions. They were only going to hold me back.

I dropped out of uni (after i knew this, so no safety net). I had to make a choice whether or not i was going to continue studying for a few months, pass my exams & continue another year & i decided 'SCREW IT'. I just stopped going to class, studying & didn't go into my exams.

All my time was free to work on my business or do what i wanted. I felt liberated & and nobody else cared or chased me up. I didn't tell my parents what i was planning to do, but obviously they found out eventually.

If you are going to be an entrepreneur, you have to learn to make decisions on your own terms. Fortunately or unfortunately, you can't decide your family (though you can decide whether you want to continue a relationship with them, or not. Mine were causing me more trouble than it was worth, so i cut loose).

Perhaps they will be early 'seed' investors, maybe they won't. You have to find out where they stand FAST. Try asking them for a small sum to test some ad's or to avoid borrowing from the bank for example, and see where they stand (once you're in a reasonable position to ask of course e.g having built a professional looking website or got your first customer).

If family are not able or willing to help, you're going to have to find other people to support you on your journey (and if you're in college, your fellow classmates are unlikely to be any use. They might be friends, but at age 18-22 they are unlikely to be investors).

 

[Equilibrium]

Make money. He'll shut up.

I love this

 

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[Olavi]

I spoke to my dad about it again yesterday, luckily this time the conversation was much calmer so I got my points and reasons to him.

This is what i decided, i will stay in school and finish my diploma then that diploma can be my safety net. Next year I will register for the degree, since I will be only having 5 modules the whole of the first year, it will give me enough time to work on my business on the side. My dad promised that if it does take off by the end of first semester next year he'll pump some in it, so that's a bonus for me.

So my advice to any student that finds themselves in a similar situation, stay in school, until your business takes off. (my dad told me that)

 

[jason91]

This! I didnt see it in that way at all and sadly it actually is true. Thanks for the eye opener here.

I would like to know for people on here that dropped out of school against your parents initial wishes, how was or how did the relationship change between you and your parents?

At first it was anger, then it was more anger, then it was shit talk because there wasn't progress, and now there's less shit talk because there's progress

I assume when the sales go up, the shit talk will go away and turn into oh I knew you could do it type of stuff

lol, but I'm in the US - like others said in other countries I'm not sure skipping college is a great choice.

 

[Mr.B]

I spoke to my dad about it again yesterday, luckily this time the conversation was much calmer so I got my points and reasons to him.

This is what i decided, i will stay in school and finish my diploma then that diploma can be my safety net. Next year I will register for the degree, since I will be only having 5 modules the whole of the first year, it will give me enough time to work on my business on the side. My dad promised that if it does take off by the end of first semester next year he'll pump some in it, so that's a bonus for me.

So my advice to any student that finds themselves in a similar situation, stay in school, until your business takes off. (my dad told me that)

What a wonderful outcome! I'm really pleased that you were able to speak with your dad about this again and that you've come to a decision that makes sense for both of you. While not essential, it's always nice to have support from your parents.

So what's the next step for your business?

 

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