Living in a Bubble - Help

[bboyu]

Guys I am still having a problem overcoming these mental restrictions that I have somehow managed to create for myself. I don't know if I'm wired like this or what it is, whether it's too late too change this or not but I'm 27, have my whole life in front of me but I've got no direction.

Everything I come across in life I have a very naïve understanding of it which doesn't reflect reality. I have a problem dealing with everyday life and making decisions.

It's all just very hard to live with at the moment.

For example, I read up on personality types recently after coming across someone saying how knowing your type can help you make better decisions and know what you're natural tendency to do something is.
I spent so much time then reading into psychology, how reliable psychology is then realised people have professions out of studying psychology so it must have some value. I read into who first found out about personalities etc etc. I have this crazy thing of going to the core of any subject to learn as much as I can about it so I can know about it. I wasn't able to find my personality type because I got so into the way the personality is structured by Myers Briggs - but then criticised by preceding psychologists who came up with their own versions that I lost the whole plot of it and left it there.

I still don't know what my type is.

For example, I don't know how to lie to get my way around a certain situation, like in interviews, a lot of people going for a new position, that I've come across, will just lie about their experience saying they've worked in the department (for which they are now interviewing for) at their previous place, when they really haven't and not once do they think about whether the potential employer will check for references? They end up getting the job!? Like guys with criminal records get into jobs which would never take you on if they knew about your record but they don't tell them? do they not think about the company doing a check on them?

I get exhausted enough after researching, reading, writing about "it" (being the subject at hand), to not then do anything about the original premise from where I began the mental debacle.

I was researching into how to find business ideas, I have spent like 1.5 years just answering this question because I don't know what to do. I came across a way that settled with me very well which was to look into industries of the world because there's only so many as they're all classified into categories and pick one you're familiar/interested with and look into it.

I settled with that then I started reading into who creates industries, what is an industry, because for some reason I start thinking "what if I come up with a great idea, I could create a new industry!?" That's stupid isn't it? I still have no clue as to what business I'm going to start.

Then someone said oh that's the wrong way to go about it, just find out what sells and sell something. But everything in the world sells! Then again a big cloud of fog is now "my brain" - now I'll have to find out "how do you find out what sells".

I have done this so many times in the past. When looking at mock exams questions Instead of learning how to do that specific question I have ended up reading about the whole topic to get a better understanding of it, which I do but when it come's to the crunch and practical I have nothing and people who have just done what they needed to do without too much thought into it do very well?

I've got a degree in a certain subject, after I got it I said to myself I couldn't get a job in that field because I thought I knew nothing about how the practical side of it works and how I am supposed to provide value doing it as I don't know nothing about it. Anyone can read books and pass exams. Since then I am just working mediocre jobs. I could advertise myself as a professional in that field and get inquiries but then make a fool out of myself not meeting standards as I have no experience in the field or providing that service.

You know this is to do with anything in life, I end up researching the topic so much that I become addicted to completing "this research I'm doing" because "I won't be able to make the right decision then! or do what's required" and will make myself look stupid to myself.

If one of you guys out there has anything that can help me with this. What do you think this is analysis paralysis? I don't know but I have to do something about it. All my time is spent just doing this. I've become the kind of person now who won't go into anything new because I have to research about it first. This is the reason why I have asked so many questions on this forum as I am circle jerking everything.

I want to do very well in life and it's only me who is holding me back. People think I am intelligent and have potential but I don't agree with them, they end up doing much more in life whereas I think "oh just wait until I finish my research about everything in life then I'll see you".

Has anyone ever done this or know anyone like this who is now successful or have I got no hope?

 

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[Kingmaker]

Yes, it's analysis paralysis. Shut your brain off and just F*cking do it. Showing up is 90% of success. Go to the interview and F*ck IT UP if you have to. Fail completely. What's stopping you is fear. The cure for fear is Courage. There are thousands other companies in your field you can apply to and try again if you don't get the job.

The "research" you are doing is action faking. The part of you that doesn't want you to be successful is coming up with an alternate activity that won't cause you to go out of your comfort zone. Get over yourself. Counter is with a daily To Do list that you complete religiously. Key word "Do". Researching something is not doing. At least not for you, at this point of your life.

Has anyone ever done this or know anyone like this who is now successful or have I got no hope?

It's not like you're missing a limb. It's -only- a mindset change. Just do it, even if you have to fake it until you make it.

 

[smarty]

What's stopping you is fear. The cure for fear is Courage.

Correct.

F*ck it up as much as possible for a few weeks. I have been just like
you in that age, not too long ago - you need more real life EXPERIENCES,
you don't need more "knowledge". F*ck knowledge at this point - The more you
"seek knowledge", the more you will feel as if you're "not enough".

http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/sound_files/not_good_enough.mp3

You need to move/travel or take some action for a period of time. Maybe move
from home for a month or two. Without real life experiences you will feel dumb.

My advice? Die! http://unrogue.com/how-to-die/

To give you an idea, this is how important your ego is to the world:

Answers are not going to come to you just sitting in your home. How did that work for you so far?

 

[AubreyJ]

I agree with what the others have said- just go do something. Make a point to try something new once a week or once a day- it doesn't have to be huge, but just force yourself to take action. it will be hard at first but then you will get used to it- like with anything in life, it takes practice. I used to have severe social anxiety, and I started to force myself into interacting with people and meeting new people, and after a while my social anxiety started to disappear. It is the same thing with your analysis paralysis- it will take time, practice, and effort to get rid of it- but you can do it.

 

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[FastNAwesome]

I spent so much time then reading into psychology

Reading and educating yourself are amazing things. But seems you overdo it and the wrong way too. Dare to have your own opinions. Don't wait for books and other people to tell you everything.

Those guys who wrote books...how did they get their knowledge? Someone had to have experiences, make mistakes, think and come up with stuff, and then write it. And there's no guarantee they're 100% right either.

Don't waste your precious time on the quest for perfect answers.

Experience life and enjoy it. You're doing 100% theory and 0% practice which is bad measure. Try maybe at least 50/50.

I still don't know what my type is.

Here's a possibly cool personality type: SL. It means Sexy and Lazy. What you say? It doesn't have 4 letters? Well who's to tell me how much letters it should have? Or... PC = Possibly Cool personality type...this applies to persons who have the potential to be cool, but they're just not there yet.

For example, I don't know how to lie to get my way around a certain situation, like in interviews, a lot of people going for a new position, that I've come across, will just lie about their experience saying they've worked in the department (for which they are now interviewing for) at their previous place, when they really haven't and not once do they think about whether the potential employer will check for references?

Well you're already ahead of them because you know it's bad to lie, and that serious employer might as well check references. So just don't lie. Simple.

You don't need to be reactive in life, and to fall into other people's ways. Do things your way.

I've been where you are. Stop overthinking, it's a huge waste of precious precious time. Do something.

Send 100 lousy and honest job applications, and someone might just call you.
Send 0 because you're shaping sentences to perfection, and there's 0 chance anyone will call you.

whether it's too late too change this or not but I'm 27

How about this... YOU decide whether it's too late or not. If you ask me, I'd say it's not. If you ask someone else, they'd say it's way too late, just go with the flow now... If you ask someone who's 60, they'd probably tell say you're a young man at best age, where you're mature enough, and still young and strong.

But the wonderful thing is... YOU get to decide when it's late or not.

And for a little laugh...a sort of attitude you should embrace is at about 1:00 - 2:00

 

[bboyu]

Thank you for the encouragement guys. Really. How do you guys "just fu*k it" and "get on with "it"" when you dont know what the first or 2nd 3rd step is for that matter? how do you find out what it is you need to do?

i have an issue with confidence when i dont know what i'm talking about and this stops me from taking action when i dont know what the action is or i feel as though i wont be good enough.

how do you get past it?

 

[tafy]

What is your goal? What is your business idea? If you don't have this then no wonder you cant do it.

I would suggest going backpacking for a few months if you can afford it, don't plan more then the country you will land in, make decisions while you are there on what to do and where to go. You will come back a different person. Go alone.

 

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[GuestUser113]

how do you get past it?

 

[Kingmaker]

Thank you for the encouragement guys. Really. How do you guys "just fu*k it" and "get on with "it"" when you dont know what the first or 2nd 3rd step is for that matter? how do you find out what it is you need to do?

i have an issue with confidence when i dont know what i'm talking about and this stops me from taking action when i dont know what the action is or i feel as though i wont be good enough.

how do you get past it?

 

[Actionary]

bboyu try to take an mbti personality test, its vastly more accurate.

 

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[bboyu]

I think the main issue is I am not the kindto trust people easily so I spend most od my time analyzing what they've said and trying to make my own understanding of the subject.

MJ's book resonates and has helped alot of people alongside other millionaires who have published such books, however how can one trust the info they find and trust themselves to know this is the info i need?

 

[Formless]

You cannot just do it because there is no 'it' for you to do.

Process creates events, yeah. But sometimes, you need an event as a catalyst for process.

Change your environment. Backpacking sounds good.

 

[adamhenry]

Here's the thing. We're all equal.

I'm sure you've heard that. But it's a little hard to grasp, as well as a little hard to explain.

For a reading list :

Outliers
The Talent Code
Talent Is Overrated
Mindset

But basically, science had decided that talent doesn't exist. So you don't have to worry about what type you are, or really worry about anything else. Success depends on two things only.

Knowledge and experience.

I've decided both of these things are important, at the same time. So extremely important is to just start.

Just start anything.

Even if you think it might not work out. Pick a stupid idea, knowing it's a stupid idea, but with the plan to make changes and improve as you go along. Because you'll learn by doing, and with continuous modifications, you'll improve.

A book along these lines is called Just Start, where some business teachers looked at entrepreneurs and realized that successful entrepreneurs just go ahead and start a business idea, to see if it will work, rather than plan it or think about it too much.

What's the difference between you and MJ? Or between you and anyone else that's rich, successful, etc? . Only knowledge and experience. Not your personality type, IQ, strengths and weaknesses, or talents.

So how do you bridge the gap between you and MJ?

DO and LEARN.

So read books. But make sure you are just going ahead and trying assorted business ideas even if you know nothing about them.

They gave groups of people spaghetti, tape, and a marshmallow, to see who could build the tallest tower that would support a marshmallow. Groups like lawyers, business people, teachers, etc.

You know who built the tallest towers? Kindergarten kids.

Why? Because all the other groups sat around and planned the best tower, but the kids just jumped in and started trying things. Iteration trumped planning.

So here's my suggestions :

1) Forget about who you are, because it doesn't affect your success anyway.

2) Just start building spaghetti marshmallow towers. They'll evolve with iteration, and you'll learn in the process.

If you don't have a business idea, my suggestion is to start flipping items on craigslist. Because it'll help you to start seeing money everywhere, and you'll learn the art of the deal.

This post was meant to be epic. But I've just finished 650ml of beer, so it may sound different in the morning. If I can elaborate on the "talent does not exist" subject, please let me know.

 

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[adamhenry]

Here's the thing. We're all equal.

I'm sure you've heard that. But it's a little hard to grasp, as well as a little hard to explain.

For a reading list :

Outliers
The Talent Code
Talent Is Overrated
Mindset

But basically, science had decided that talent doesn't exist. So you don't have to worry about what type you are, or really worry about anything else. Success depends on two things only.

Knowledge and experience.

I've decided both of these things are important, at the same time. So extremely important is to just start.

Just start anything.

Even if you think it might not work out. Pick a stupid idea, knowing it's a stupid idea, but with the plan to make changes and improve as you go along. Because you'll learn by doing, and with continuous modifications, you'll improve.

A book along these lines is called Just Start, where some business teachers looked at entrepreneurs and realized that successful entrepreneurs just go ahead and start a business idea, to see if it will work, rather than plan it or think about it too much.

What's the difference between you and MJ? Or between you and anyone else that's rich, successful, etc? . Only knowledge and experience. Not your personality type, IQ, strengths and weaknesses, or talents.

So how do you bridge the gap between you and MJ?

DO and LEARN.

So read books. But make sure you are just going ahead and trying assorted business ideas even if you know nothing about them.

They gave groups of people spaghetti, tape, and a marshmallow, to see who could build the tallest tower that would support a marshmallow. Groups like lawyers, business people, teachers, etc.

You know who built the tallest towers? Kindergarten kids.

Why? Because all the other groups sat around and planned the best tower, but the kids just jumped in and started trying things. Iteration trumped planning.

So here's my suggestions :

1) Forget about who you are, because it doesn't affect your success anyway.

2) Just start building spaghetti marshmallow towers. They'll evolve with iteration, and you'll learn in the process.

If you don't have a business idea, my suggestion is to start flipping items on craigslist. Because it'll help you to start seeing money everywhere, and you'll learn the art of the deal.

This post was meant to be epic. But I've just finished 650ml of beer, so it may sound different in the morning. If I can elaborate on the "talent does not exist" subject, please let me know.

 

[AndrewNC]

What would happen if you continues to do what you are currently doing?

What can you do differently?