I don't know what to do any more.

DrJake · Aug 27, 2014

Hey guys. For all who don't know me I just turned 16 and I'm a junior in high school. I've been working on a protein ice-cream innovation since the beginning of summer and I've been going strong until a couple days ago. (I have a progress thread by the way)

Since school's started, I've had eight less hours a day to work on my idea. Okay, no problem, I can work extra on the weekends anyway. But I got a car and a new iphone for my birthday, (which I didn't ask for), and am expected to pay to keep those privileges. Okay, that's fine, teaches responsibility, even though I hadn't even asked for an iphone in the first place (The funny thing is I live in a middle-lower-class family. Pretty standard, right?)

So, because of these surprise gifts I'm expected to get a job. Okay, more money I can invest in my business. It turns out, though, that the combination of AP highschool classes + work + exercise + having a long-term girlfriend + homework + dual credit college classes, doesn't leave enough room for working on my new business idea (which by the way is my number one priority).

I've just been trying to make my parents happy up until now. I tell them my priority is school and college (I couldn't care less) and they let me go on my business. I've had only an hour a day of free time a day to work on my idea since school's started, and I haven't even gotten a job yet. When I got home at 7PM today (I hadn't exercised or even touched my business yet), and my stepdad told me to go and mow the lawns, I had some kind of mental breakdown.

Then I told my parents that maybe my job at Brookshires, my car, and my iphone wasn't as important as my dreams of creating my brand. I told them I wanted more time to work on my business, and a job just took away from that. That won't work for them though. They tell me that my business has turned into an obsession (guilty) and that my priorities should be SCHOOL and "LIVING A NORMAL TEENAGE LIFE."

I tell them that I disagree. I thank them for doing what they "know is best for me" but to me the risk is worth it, and the only thing that matters is my freedom, my success, and my business. At this point my mom literally threatens to call a therapist. At the end of the argument they come to the conclusion that the business is turning me into an insane person and it has to stop. They tell me the business can come after college and a job and being mediocre is okay. They tell me that one day I'll look back and regret not living a normal teenage life.

At the end of the argument they tell me I'm not allowed to work on my business anymore. They even told me that they were going to call my girlfriend's parents and tell them not to let me work there either. They tell me that I have to get a job, and that I have to go to college, and that I have no choice. They tell me I don't have what it takes and that only people with a ton of money could get something like this to work, and I have to forget about it. They tell me they won't let me pursue this and they sure as hell won't help me anymore.

I just don't know what to do anymore guys. I've never been this depressed in my entire life. I'm looking at the goals I've written down for the year right now and I'm crying. Right now I probably sound stupid as F*ck to all of you guys, but really it would mean the world to me to hear that at least one person believes in me, or at least one person thinks that maybe it can happen.

Thanks for reading guys.

Catalyst · Aug 27, 2014

@DrJake no one thinks you are stupid. I haven't read your progress thread but that is my next stop.

You are going through the normal being a teenager with parents that may not have a matching mindset. Now I believe there are some things you can do besides driving conflict with the parents like educating them on your desires to pursue your business. Maybe getting one of them to read tmf to better understand.

The best thing you can do now is focus on controlling the emotions and think through the next steps. I'll pop back in after I'm more up to speed but I believe and you are light years ahead if where I was mindset wise at that age.

chrischapman · Aug 27, 2014

Far out man. Protip: you should turn 18.

I read your posts on the protein ice cream idea and you were one of the people here I was keeping my eye on to see what happened because I thought you could execute.

The part that really bugs me about your situation is that you are so helpless despite your drive and what you are doing.

In the huge, enormous, vast majority of cases, the obstacle to someone's success is themselves. The WORST part about this is that your parents are not even giving you the opportunity to be an obstacle to yourself - even if you would wildly succeed otherwise, and I think you might.

Mate, don't give up. Let's figure out a way to make this work, okay?

I'm off to a goodbye lunch now since it is my last day of my office job today (woohoo) and then I'm off to work on my business in a few hours but I'll be back on the internet at work in an hour or so. We'll talk later.

AubreyJ · Aug 27, 2014

We have all been there before (or at least I know I have)- since you are under 18, there isn't much you can do and you just have to try to listen to your parents the best that you can. But with that being said, you have a car now- maybe try getting out of the house to "study for school" and instead head to the library or a friends house where you can work on the business. Stay up late at night and work on it in your room while your parents are asleep. Even if you can only get in an hour a two a day behind your parents back, that is better than nothing. It is tough to fit everything in into a day but with planning and prioritizing it can be done.

and then once you are 18 do what is best for you- if at that point you feel as if the business out ways a college education, than go for it. The fact of the matter is, once you turn 18 your parents can't force you to do anything. Stick it out these next few years, work on your business as much as you can without your parents knowing, and then once you turn 18 decide what your next move will be. Maybe in the mean time they will see that this is more than just an "obsession" and can actually turn into something. Good luck, I'm rooting for you

DrJake · Aug 27, 2014

Thanks so much guys. I seriously can't tell you through a keyboard how much it means to me.

@Catalyst I took your advice and went to apologize to my parents. Whenever I broke down we said some pretty rude things to eachother, specifically to my mom, that I'm already ashamed of. I told my mom I was sorry and that I loved her, (the truth), and to my dad that I would keep working my part-time job. I haven't said anything about the biz yet though. I'm gonna try to get them on my side again, and I'll have to find a way to get that time to work on my biz.

@chrischapman Thanks man. Yeah, my parents are a real pain in the a$$, but if I can succeed with them, I can succeed with or without anything. It's all about my scheduling, my focus and my planning now. I probably won't be online once you get back cause I have to sleep. I wake up around 5:30 AM to get in some reading and biz work.

@AubreyJ Yeah, the scheduling is gonna be extremely tough. I'm sure I can convince my parents to let me work on my biz again, but my stepdad used to work at Brookshires (where I work), and was the best worker and pretty much famous. I HAVE to live up to those expectations or they for sure won't support me. Kind of sad, but the truth.

Marc B. · Aug 27, 2014

We're here for you, and you aren't alone.

Do not give up on your dream. My Dad, once a steadfast opponent to my ambition of becoming an entrepreneur, told me tonight "If you don't have a dream, you don't have anything." My parents and I butted heads for a little more than a year; they are (...maybe were) proponents of the slowlane. I persisted that they understand my position and that they, at the very least, respect that I am focusing on a productive and meaningful effort. I bought two hard-copies of TMF and gave them one, urging them to read it completely...and they did!

Afterwards, I made it clear to them that, by rejecting the typical nine-to-five, I am granting myself more time to take action and learn the ropes of business. My summary (here truncated for brevity) was something like: "It's not that I don't want to work my a$$ off. I just don't want to work for someone else for the rest of my life."

I can't promise that your parents will react the same way, but I didn't want to let you go without knowing what worked for me if I thought it would help you. Persist in the face of opposition. Make it happen any way you can despite the difficulty. With your attention divided it's going to be hard to find the time to work on your business, but when you do...take advantage of the opportunity and try to get everyone on the same page so they can see the situation from your angle.

You're young and far ahead of other people your age. You have many years ahead of you, and this is far from the worst thing that could happen.

ilrein · Aug 27, 2014

That's pretty messed up dude, when I was 16 my biggest problem with my parents was recreational drug use. They would have loved if I was doing something actually productive. To want to be productive and to have a negative response to that is quite disheartening.

Unfortunately, you DO live with your folks, so you're stuck playing by their rules. Just be prepared to deal with the whole college thing, as I suspect the folks will expect you to go somewhere long and expensive. You'll have to manage their expectations...

throttleforward · Aug 27, 2014

I'm sure they are doing this from a position of loving you-they know that starting a business is risky and likely to end in failure and want to protect you from that pain. Their singular goal is to see you succeed and be happy, and they (along with 99.9% of all people) believe that the traditional college-to-office job is the best way to achieve success and stability.

They also can't relate with you because they probably have never met/had a conversation with someone who was a successful business owner (one man service operations like doctor excluded). They have lived life believing certain things, and those beliefs have served them decently well in their mind.

Maybe invite them in to the process a little. Maybe show them Eskil and Petelife's kickstarters, or Likwid's Shark Tank episode, and tell them that you actually talk with these people on this forum. Tell them that there is this amazing community where multimillionaires help guide people who are starting their own businesses (for free!). Ask the coach that is interested in your product to call your parents and explain why he's interested (tell him that your parents are considering investing and want to speak to him). And speak to their fears-tell them that you understand that they don't understand, that you know they love you, and that you are going to do everything you can to mitigate against failure, but that you'll be miserable if you don't continue to try this, especially since you just started getting interest in your product.

daivey · Aug 27, 2014

this is what happens when 16 year olds have internet access

Hope · Aug 27, 2014

Work on the business till you are 18, save a few thousand dollars and move to south east Asia or eastern Europe, or even south America, whatever your preference.

Do some freelancing work online to provide for yourself, and keep on working on businesses until you are rich.

Thats just my two cents, all in all, you have to decide how much you are willing to risk to get what you want in life, no one else can make that call.

Best of luck to you brother.

chrischapman · Aug 27, 2014

DrJake said:
I wake up around 5:30 AM to get in some reading and biz work.

If you have learned discipline and the right attitude by 16 you may very well have eight figures in your bank account by 26 (if not earlier) whether from this protein ice cream business or something else. 50% of people never really learn discipline and 98% never really get the enabling attitude.

Find a way to make money from your business ASAP so you can show some tangible results to your parents. Money speaks volumes.

Again, don't give up. Keep chipping (and smashing) away at your business.

QueenVictoria · Aug 28, 2014

Here are some suggestions:

You are living with your parents and you are lucky that they are supporting you. Mowing the lawn isn't a big deal. Just do it, stop whining.

Secondly, why don't you find a job/internship with a company that is related to your business idea? Work at an ice cream factory, a specialist restaurant etc. Then you can research your idea to see how viable it is while working at the same time. Win/win.

And lastly, find a mentor. A guy/gal who's well known in your part of town, or someone you can discuss the viability of your business idea with. This person can also be a positive influence on your parents. One person isn't really fit to start a business. Everyone needs a business partner with complementary skill sets.

jpmartin · Aug 28, 2014

DrJake said:
Hey guys. For all who don't know me I just turned 16 and I'm a junior in high school. I've been working on a protein ice-cream innovation since the beginning of summer and I've been going strong until a couple days ago. (I have a progress thread by the way)

Since school's started, I've had eight less hours a day to work on my idea. Okay, no problem, I can work extra on the weekends anyway. But I got a car and a new iphone for my birthday, (which I didn't ask for), and am expected to pay to keep those privileges. Okay, that's fine, teaches responsibility, even though I hadn't even asked for an iphone in the first place (The funny thing is I live in a middle-lower-class family. Pretty standard, right?)

So, because of these surprise gifts I'm expected to get a job. Okay, more money I can invest in my business. It turns out, though, that the combination of AP highschool classes + work + exercise + having a long-term girlfriend + homework + dual credit college classes, doesn't leave enough room for working on my new business idea (which by the way is my number one priority).

I've just been trying to make my parents happy up until now. I tell them my priority is school and college (I couldn't care less) and they let me go on my business. I've had only an hour a day of free time a day to work on my idea since school's started, and I haven't even gotten a job yet. When I got home at 7PM today (I hadn't exercised or even touched my business yet), and my stepdad told me to go and mow the lawns, I had some kind of mental breakdown.

Then I told my parents that maybe my job at Brookshires, my car, and my iphone wasn't as important as my dreams of creating my brand. I told them I wanted more time to work on my business, and a job just took away from that. That won't work for them though. They tell me that my business has turned into an obsession (guilty) and that my priorities should be SCHOOL and "LIVING A NORMAL TEENAGE LIFE."

I tell them that I disagree. I thank them for doing what they "know is best for me" but to me the risk is worth it, and the only thing that matters is my freedom, my success, and my business. At this point my mom literally threatens to call a therapist. At the end of the argument they come to the conclusion that the business is turning me into an insane person and it has to stop. They tell me the business can come after college and a job and being mediocre is okay. They tell me that one day I'll look back and regret not living a normal teenage life.

At the end of the argument they tell me I'm not allowed to work on my business anymore. They even told me that they were going to call my girlfriend's parents and tell them not to let me work there either. They tell me that I have to get a job, and that I have to go to college, and that I have no choice. They tell me I don't have what it takes and that only people with a ton of money could get something like this to work, and I have to forget about it. They tell me they won't let me pursue this and they sure as hell won't help me anymore.

I just don't know what to do anymore guys. I've never been this depressed in my entire life. I'm looking at the goals I've written down for the year right now and I'm crying. Right now I probably sound stupid as F*ck to all of you guys, but really it would mean the world to me to hear that at least one person believes in me, or at least one person thinks that maybe it can happen.

Thanks for reading guys.

You're smart. So why not take this up as a challenge. Why not earn to learn? Since you're working on ice-cream protein stuff - do you think you can get a 'job' where you can learn more about protein shakes/ice-creams or a GNC store that sells similar stuff. This will give you the chance to hit up with people who use it, hear from them, question them - seek out opportunities to sell your product, or gather intel (and get paid for it!). If not, hell... find some place where they sell ice cream (Baskin Robbins) and talk to the customers, understand or survey them... Use it as an opportunity. You're gonna need selling skills no matter what biz ur in. So why not get paid to learn!

At the end of the day, you can tell your parents you tried, you learned something. But now it's time to build your business. But remember:

"The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary." - Nassim Nicholas Taleb

chrischapman · Aug 28, 2014

jpmartin said:
"The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary." - Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Never heard this quote before. Damn good quote

jpmartin · Aug 28, 2014

chrischapman said:
Never heard this quote before. Damn good quote

Definitely a reminder for me... I have it as wallpaper!

Solrac · Aug 28, 2014

Ha I went through this EXACT same thing (literally) and I still go through it now. But now my parents have lightened up a lot about it. If you want I can tell you how I handled it my man, trust me you are not alone. Send me a PM if you want! I want to write a book about this stuff

Ninjakid · Aug 28, 2014

I'm sorry to hear about this dude. I don't know what the laws are like in your state, but it seems like everyone on this forum is agreeing that you're your parents responsibility until you're 18.
I like what @AubreyJ said about leaving the house so that you could go "study" and work on your business when no one is around. It doesn't hurt to be a bit of a rebel sometimes

I have a friend who had a similar situation. She is a really talented manga artist, but he parents didn't like her drawing. So as a result, she would keep all her drawings at friends' houses and go to anime conventions without her parents knowing what she was up to. She ended up moving to go to university, and I think she has a lot more freedom now.

It's like the Will Smith song, parents just don't understand.

One thing I've noticed is that no matter how much you try to say to people that your business is going to be successful, no one truly believes it until they see it. They won't actually believe it until they see the $50K, $100K, or $1M cheque. So here's some advice I learned from Jay-Z: don't tell anyone about what you're doing. Because most people will try to bring you down, and discourage you.

But if it's your family, I can understand that you would want their support (especially your parents). So if you feel comfortable, maybe give them a copy of TMF like others here have suggested. Up to you man.

You said you have a long-term relationship. Does she believe in your ambitions? A partner who believes in you can be an incredible motivating force.

I'm going to add this too:

I've noticed with the hype about entrepreneurship, there are A LOT of teenagers who read something like Rich Dad, Poor Dad, and decide that they want to be rich, and not have to work a 9-5. Problem is, these types are usually misguided, misinformed, and are under the false belief that starting a business and growing wealth is easy, and doesn't require an education. Then, they start rejecting education because they believe it's useless, and they go on to become broke underachievers because they lack the know-how, and the actual drive. The truth is, in business, you do need to know what the F*ck you're doing, and you need to be educated. Not necessarily public school educated, I mean like having knowledge about business structures, risk management, markets etc. etc. which you don't need a degree to learn about.

But bro, I'm not saying this is you. Quite the contrary, you see like a really bright dude, who's motivated, and wants the best out of life, but everyone is trying to tell you that you don't know F*ck all. I've there man. I've been there man. MJ has been there. Every successful businessperson has been there. People think the guy who goes to work everyday in a suit, drives a luxury car, owns the business, calls all the shots, and vacations wherever the F*ck he wants has it all. Everyone who works a 9-5 job and is at the beck and call of their employer secretly thinks it would be great to be that guy. But hardly anyone really understands what it takes to get there. You are really bright at such a young age man, don't give up. Maybe you can meet some successful people on this forum, or find a mentor, if you feel like no one believes in you. People on this forum believe in you bro. Don't give up. I can see a young millionaire right here.

Another thing to understand, but you probably already know this: given your background, your parents probably don't have the belief that it's possible to become rich. The probably don't personally know a self-made millionaire, and aren't familiar with that circle. So it's not that your parents want to put you down, it's the job of every parent to pass down what they know. So they probably think the best thing for you is to get a good education, a good job, and be successful that way. And seeing as you're doing so well in school, they probably don't want you to throw that away. But once you become successful, you can always say, "I told you so" :cool:

Angus · Aug 28, 2014

DrJake · Aug 28, 2014

Thanks a ton guys. I don't have the time to respond to everybody but I read each of your posts several times over. I'm being really empathetic and apologetic to my parents, and I'm setting them up to get over to my way of thinking. My girlfriend actually convinced my mom that this business is what made me happy and that my determination was inspiration to HER OWN family. So, I'll still be allowed to work on my business, but I can't let them see it as an obsession, and I actually want to buy them a copy of TMF some day.

Time to get hustling. If anyone wants to PM me to talk, I'm up for anything.

D11FYY · Aug 28, 2014

My advice .. Dont give up

Okay so your going on about your time schedule. Can you not fit in a half an hour of exercise in your lunch break? , Your Girlfriend can you not have two arranged days to see her like for instance a Monday night and Saturday or something.
Also in terms of your business does none of your friends , uncles etc have spare room at their house workshop etc. So that you can go and work on your ice cream project?
Also the Car and iPhone if you feel their a hindrance sell them and return the money to your parents then you wont feel burdened as much with these gifts.
Just get the ice cream made and try it out at local shops etc. Set yourself a target of at least making $100 before December.
Best of luck

BlakeIC · Aug 29, 2014

Gosh you are handling this much better than i ever would have
And protein ice cream?!
I am very much into body building/power lifting style of working out and calories matter to me

I am so checking out your progress thread!

Lauryn · Aug 30, 2014

I wish I had ideas and friends like you when I was your age.
Hell, even now.

Your parents mean well but they're projecting. You don't sound crazy here because we're all united by mindset.
Use the late nights, early morning adage. Adjust your work hours, and figure out a way to scale back without it looking too obvious.

I also agree to stop telling people what you're doing. They don't always know what's best, even though they mean well.

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