How to Surround Yourself With Successful People

[damondietz]

I was just wondering how you all suggest meeting and surrounding yourself with other entrepreneurs/fastlaners. I find myself hanging around the same group of people, and while they are nice and supportive, they are just content with being slowlaners.

I want to surround myself with big thinkers, doers and like-minded people but don't know where to start forming these types of friendships/relationships.

 

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[Andy Black]

Some of the comments in here might help:

• www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/dont-like-being-the-smartest-person-in-the-room.61125

EDIT: I'm not for a moment saying your question comes from the same position as the OP in that post, just that there's some great responses.

 

[JAJT]

Search for small business meetups in your area and go to them. Go to the larger or more notable national ones. Etc...

In short, you need to meet people first before you can hang out with them.

 

[Ronnie Bryan]

Throw a street party,have an online radio station, or host your own webinar hey seen it work for other people.Me, I kind of just threw myself out there, attended live events where 6 & 7 figure earners spoke.Heck even if you go to real estate conventions,you might meet some fastlaners.I say MIGHT there is TOASTMASTER and even MEETUP groups. become an prominent person in your community, even contact any Chambers of Commerce you might have FASTLANERS are everywhere. just like celebrities they stay in the shadows to avoid bombardment .FORUMS online work too thinking of one in particular.

 

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[TG_Hawk]

Meetup and Toastmaster are great ideas. Many executives and local business owners join Toastmasters to hone their speaking skills.

Use the internet to your advantage. Search for business and entrepreneurship networking events, seminars, and local chamber of commerce events. There's local Real Estate Clubs all over the place, but like any other social gathering, you're going to have to separate the haves from the have nots.

 

[AndrewNC]

how you all suggest meeting and surrounding yourself with other entrepreneurs/fastlaners.

1. Go to the fastlane meetup conference next February.
2. Meet other fastlaners.
3. Move in together to start and/or grow your businesses.

Step 1 optional for the question at hand.

 

[SteveO]

just like celebrities they stay in the shadows to avoid bombardment

I think that most of the general population does not ask questions. They don't know what to talk about or what to ask when it comes to money and how to make it.

A good example would be that a few years ago Biophase, MJ and I were all on the same softball team. Nobody on the team asked us questions about how to make money. I heard comments from people about why they could not do something like that. Most of them had read MJ's book as well. Even after years of hanging out with the same crowd, none of them have really asked any probing questions.

 

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[damondietz]

1. Go to the fastlane meetup conference next February.
2. Meet other fastlaners.
3. Move in together to start and/or grow your businesses.

Step 1 optional for the question at hand.

Where can I find info on this meet up?

 

[damondietz]

I think that most of the general population does not ask questions. They don't know what to talk about or what to ask when it comes to money and how to make it.

A good example would be that a few years ago Biophase, MJ and I were all on the same softball team. Nobody on the team asked us questions about how to make money. I heard comments from people about why they could not do something like that. Most of them had read MJ's book as well. Even after years of hanging out with the same crowd, none of them have really asked any probing questions.

What kind of questions would be ok to ask. I know some people are bothered by the constant barrage of newbies or less successful people bothering them for knowledge/info. What's the best way to approach or ask probing questions to successful people without being annoying.

 

[LeftBench]

Your local Rotary Club is also a good idea. It is made up of mostly business owners. When I used to own my self defense business I joined a rotary club. I did not join the one near where I lived but instead chose one in a much wealthier town in Bergen County, NJ, since I had done some business there. I made some great contacts. They weren't all "Fastlane" but they were all successful and I was definitely surrounding myself with smart and talented people.

The other great thing about the Rotary Club is that you're doing wonderful things for your local community and for the world. Check it out.

 

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[FeaRxUnLeAsHeD]

Do things successful people do and you'll find yourself crossing paths with successful people.

And i'm not talking about golf. I'm talking about building a business, seminars, etc.

 

[AG356]

I think that most of the general population does not ask questions. They don't know what to talk about or what to ask when it comes to money and how to make it.

A good example would be that a few years ago Biophase, MJ and I were all on the same softball team. Nobody on the team asked us questions about how to make money. I heard comments from people about why they could not do something like that. Most of them had read MJ's book as well. Even after years of hanging out with the same crowd, none of them have really asked any probing questions.

What kind of questions would be ok to ask. I know some people are bothered by the constant barrage of newbies or less successful people bothering them for knowledge/info. What's the best way to approach or ask probing questions to successful people without being annoying.

^this

I can't speak for your team-mates @SteveO but I would be too afraid to ask guys like you because I feel that I'm not worthy yet and I don't want to bother you with some question you probably hear all the time...

/hijack

 

[FeaRxUnLeAsHeD]

I don't know about the rest of you all, but I talk about business all the time, so if I were on a softball team with you guys, it would make me want to talk about business even more, because you guys actually get it, unlike 98% of the world when you talk about business they shrivel up back into their shell and go back to the office for a 9-5pm the next day

 

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[SteveO]

I don't know about the rest of you all, but I talk about business all the time, so if I were on a softball team with you guys, it would make me want to talk about business even more, because you guys actually get it, unlike 98% of the world when you talk about business they shrivel up back into their shell and go back to the office for a 9-5pm the next day

This is why we have the fastlane meetup. It is the one place where we can talk freely without feeling out of place.

 

[SteveO]

I can't speak for your team-mates @SteveO but I would be too afraid to ask guys like you because I feel that I'm not worthy yet and I don't want to bother you with some question you probably hear all the time...

The thing is that I love to talk business. Everybody is worthy!!!! People tell me that they want to pick my brain but they rarely do.

 

[SteveO]

I was just wondering how you all suggest meeting and surrounding yourself with other entrepreneurs/fastlaners. I find myself hanging around the same group of people, and while they are nice and supportive, they are just content with being slowlaners.

I want to surround myself with big thinkers, doers and like-minded people but don't know where to start forming these types of friendships/relationships.

I honestly believe that you are wanting to do something that is unrealistic. Slowlane is not a contagious disease. It is a state of mind that has blinded most of society.

It is possible to find some doers to hang out with on occasion. But when you think about it, you are looking for people to hang out with that have things in common with you. I really hope that you are having fun in your spare time and not spending all of your leisure time chasing money.

 

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[SteveO]

What kind of questions would be ok to ask. I know some people are bothered by the constant barrage of newbies or less successful people bothering them for knowledge/info. What's the best way to approach or ask probing questions to successful people without being annoying.

There is no constant barrage.

I don't find any questions related to business to be annoying. Some people ask questions but don't really want answers. When I see their eyes darting around and the responses just become "uh-huh, uh-huh" then I will move on. But if someone genuinely wants to know something, I think most people are happy to give information.

The funny thing is that if someone is a famous or accomplished athlete or performer, they probably get a lot of questions and discussion from people. I don't think that most people who are accomplished in business get the same level of attention.

 

[IceCreamKid]

By asking, "How do I surround myself with successful people?" you make yourself sound like a value taker/money chaser.

How about asking, "How do I become the type of guy that successful people want to be around?".

Let me tell you a quick story. About 10 years ago a friend of mine was at rock bottom. No lie, the guy was an alcoholic and drug addict. Basically he had nothing going for him.

Then he hit that "F*ck this" moment in his life and decided he was going to start giving talks. It didn't matter how many people were in the room, he took every opportunity to talk and get his name out there. The guy had old school grit for sure. This was before TEDxTalks even existed. He didn't have any biz expertise, but was very good at telling his story about how looking into the mirror and truly accepting WHO he was and WHERE he was at in life had helped him change things.

He spoke from his heart. His content was raw and honest, unlike the BS you see from gurus talking about the Lamborghini in their garage and how they read a book a day.

You know what happened? Successful people started noticing him because they liked how he spoke from the heart. In a world where everyone wears a mask and pretends how perfect their lives are, this one guy was waving the flag of vulnerability. The flag of truth and integrity. It was a breath of fresh air to these successful people. He became a magnet who effortlessly pulled them towards him.

By hanging out with successful people, he learned a lot of neat strategies for biz and eventually became a biz coach to corporate titans from names you're probably familiar with...Pfizer, HSBC, Range Rover and Johnson & Johnson.

Take inventory of the things that you shine at, just like he did. Then take every opportunity to share that info with the world. Seriously, give it all away like Jesus did. You'll become a magnet. Not sure if you're a religious guy or not, but I'm convinced that if God is your foreman then nothing can stand against you long term.

 

[Bellini]

How about asking, "How do I become the type of guy that successful people want to be around?".

↑ THIS ↑

Seriously, give it all away like Jesus did. You'll become a magnet. Not sure if you're a religious guy or not, but I'm convinced that if God is your foreman then nothing can stand against you long term.

Amen!

 

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[FeaRxUnLeAsHeD]

He spoke from his heart. His content was raw and honest, unlike the BS you see from gurus talking about the Lamborghini in their garage and how they read a book a day.

But... but...

"IM HERE IN MY GARAGE JUST GOT THIS NEW LAMBORGHINI"

 

[MKHB]

But... but...

"IM HERE IN MY GARAGE JUST GOT THIS NEW LAMBORGHINI"

I was just wondering how you all suggest meeting and surrounding yourself with other entrepreneurs/fastlaners. I find myself hanging around the same group of people, and while they are nice and supportive, they are just content with being slowlaners.

I want to surround myself with big thinkers, doers and like-minded people but don't know where to start forming these types of friendships/relationships.

I broke it down in two parts, Set Up (1) Action (2)

Part 1

Live in a wealthy area: Growing, family/biz friendly, politically conservative area- but not old money e.g., Fairfield CT/Lake Forest IL/Beverly Hills.

Get married or be looking: Influential folks love to have couples get togethers and also play matchmaker+ 2X the networking power.

Have kids: The bond of a fellow parent is powerful - as parents we love our kids more than life itself & we can't wait to to get them the hell out.

Find God: Any god-you pick. Wilshire Temple in LA is the place to go if want a picture deal -remember Ari Gold crashing Yom Kippur to pitch an exec.

Start a Business: Find a need in this area and solve it. This will allow you to prove your credibility to the throngs and sharpen your pitch prowess.


Now that you have done some or all of the preceding.


Part 2

You must:
Give shxt away....especially your time and expertise. (And yes, don't swear)
Volunteer...Coaching/School Events/you name it.
Social events... mingle at local watering holes, coffee shops, parks in non threatening, non business settings.
Charitiy work...Charities...Charities...must do!!!
Listen...listen listen listen ...to what people say and always remember their names, their kids names and use say their names out loud.
Mail handwritten notes...thank you note...thinking about you notes (the latter only for the ladies of course, kinda weird if it came from a guy).
Suggest and set up outings...family, couples, sporting events, social activites


You must not:
Pitch for investment capital, never, never, never
Be the first to bring up business, let the conversation come to you, don't drone on about money making you will across as a needy/hustler.
Ask how they make their money, how much they make, or any sensitive financial questions regarding their business

 

[biophase]

A good example would be that a few years ago Biophase, MJ and I were all on the same softball team. Nobody on the team asked us questions about how to make money. I heard comments from people about why they could not do something like that. Most of them had read MJ's book as well. Even after years of hanging out with the same crowd, none of them have really asked any probing questions.

Our team would have won the "nicest cars in the league" award if they had one. LOL

BTW, a couple members of the team did ask me for my phone number so that they could run some ideas by me. None of them ever called once.

 

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[biophase]

^this

I can't speak for your team-mates @SteveO but I would be too afraid to ask guys like you because I feel that I'm not worthy yet and I don't want to bother you with some question you probably hear all the time...

/hijack

Ok I can tell you the questions that I hate and instantly get me annoyed...

It's the level 1 questions that have no thought behind them.
"You think I should invest in real estate"
"Should I make a website"
"What should I sell"

and then if I do decide to answer these questions, the follow up questions annoy me even more... in fact I just had one of these conversations the other day.

"How do I calculate the mortgage?"
"What area has guaranteed renters?"

These questions are so broad and general and just come off as uneducated. I don't want to teach someone from kindergarten. Come at me with at least high school level questions and you may get some answers.

Also, when hanging around people you don't need to name drop, or money drop, networth drop or investment drop to make it seem like you belong in a conversation. That kind of stuff has nothing to do with whether you get accepted. I really don't care as long as you are a cool person.

 

[AustinS28]

I'm in a transitional period. I'll be 25 this month, my business has been operating for a year this month as well.

I have 2 great friends left from high school, both are successful in their own ways, and possess a similar drive as myself even if it is geared in a different direction.

I dropped out of college and do not hang with any of those people anymore.

I worked a job and had a ton of friends there, and after a year I only hangout with 1 of them, who also has ambitions that correlate with mine.

My girlfriend makes twice as much money as me, and although is set in her career field, has been a constant source of ideas.

I also have a business where my clients are upper class or very well off individuals which has been a blessing because they are a constant source of ideas, advice, mentorship and I call them friends at the end of the day. I help them exercise, and I'll be training someone that owns a business and they'll eventually be someone invested in me that wants me to succeed and has a wealth of information to share. It's opened so many doors.

I think what happens is like minded people hang with each other. I can't hangout with people on a regular basis that don't get me thinking or share my passions. Sure I'll go out for a few beers, but hang out with regularly, I don't and I don't think they want to hang with me either.

I don't want to say it's an accident, but when you move up in life, I think in most cases your friends that move up stick with and the other people stay behind and through the years you have an addition or two. Quality over quantity and as they say, you're the average of the 5 people you hangout with most, so quality is important.

 

[Jesse Dallenbach]

I'm in a transitional period. I'll be 25 this month, my business has been operating for a year this month as well.

I have 2 great friends left from high school, both are successful in their own ways, and possess a similar drive as myself even if it is geared in a different direction.

I dropped out of college and do not hang with any of those people anymore.

I worked a job and had a ton of friends there, and after a year I only hangout with 1 of them, who also has ambitions that correlate with mine.

My girlfriend makes twice as much money as me, and although is set in her career field, has been a constant source of ideas.

I also have a business where my clients are upper class or very well off individuals which has been a blessing because they are a constant source of ideas, advice, mentorship and I call them friends at the end of the day. I help them exercise, and I'll be training someone that owns a business and they'll eventually be someone invested in me that wants me to succeed and has a wealth of information to share. It's opened so many doors.

I think what happens is like minded people hang with each other. I can't hangout with people on a regular basis that don't get me thinking or share my passions. Sure I'll go out for a few beers, but hang out with regularly, I don't and I don't think they want to hang with me either.

I don't want to say it's an accident, but when you move up in life, I think in most cases your friends that move up stick with and the other people stay behind and through the years you have an addition or two. Quality over quantity and as they say, you're the average of the 5 people you hangout with most, so quality is important.

I agree with Austin, if you have some are all of "striving traits--passion, desire, ambition, progression, continuous learning and work ethic successful people (or situations and opportunities) will literally fall into your lap. It really is a case of you put out there will come back to you often in generous amounts.

- Jesse

 

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[MKHB]

Our team would have won the "nicest cars in the league" award if they had one. LOL

BTW, a couple members of the team did ask me for my phone number so that they could run some ideas by me. None of them ever called once.

^^^^^You hit the nail on the head! Even with those that take the initiative to move the conversation around to business and future get togethers , ironically don't take the next step, they usually fall down in the "how bad to do I want it category."

Or they ring you up at a bad time and you can't talk, think they imposed on you and don't call back.

Well, they did impose!...so what...get over it, get a thick skin- be relentless- not pushy.

If you get a chance to network with some heavy hitters like you or DeMarco or SteveO, they should make the most of the invite...

Bring something to the table!!!: like that lady that is all over the Youtube - she wanted a job with AirBnb, so instead of sending a resume she sent an exhaustive 10 page market report on AirBnb growth prospects and their inefficiencies in growing market share in the Middle East.

She took the initiative, found a need and proposed a solution - what a concept - sound familiar Fastlaners.

 

[jason91]

I think it comes down to the basics..

If a tribe of people were to group together - they would generally have similar traits.

Business people -> People who do business

Cheerleaders -> Cheer lead

Alcoholics -> Alcohol drinkers and abusers

College Students -> Going to college

Successful People -> Achieved some form of notable success

As Robert Herjavec said - You have to become that person others want to know

 

[Andy Black]

become that person others want to know

 

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[SteveO]

If you get a chance to network with some heavy hitters like you or DeMarco or SteveO, they should make the most of the invite...

I have been hanging out with the softball group for years. They are hard partying, competition loving, extremely active, and socially active people. For some reason or another they either don't think that they could run a business or don't want to. It does not matter to me though. Their work lives have no affect on me nor do they influence me in any way. I don't drink alcohol and am much older than they all are. But we all accept ourselves as part of the group without judgment or conditions.

Why? Because we have our competitive nature in common. My life experience has told me that I am going to work how I want. I am going to play how I want as well. And, I am going to hang out with WHOEVER I want regardless of how they feel about money or work ethic.

The statement that you are an average of the 5 people you hang out the most with does not hold water in my opinion. We are very complex and glorious creatures that have our own drives and our own ways.

 

[biophase]

I have been hanging out with the softball group for years. They are hard partying, competition loving, extremely active, and socially active people. For some reason or another they either don't think that they could run a business or don't want to. It does not matter to me though. Their work lives have no affect on me nor do they influence me in any way. I don't drink alcohol and am much older than they all are. But we all accept ourselves as part of the group without judgment or conditions.

Why? Because we have our competitive nature in common. My life experience has told me that I am going to work how I want. I am going to play how I want as well. And, I am going to hang out with WHOEVER I want regardless of how they feel about money or work ethic.

The statement that you are an average of the 5 people you hang out the most with does not hold water in my opinion. We are very complex and glorious creatures that have our own drives and our own ways.

BTW, do you guys know how I met SteveO? Ten years ago when I moved from Chicago to Arizona I sent him an email. I wish I could find it now, but it basically said that I'm interested in real estate investing and would like to talk to him or be a manager at one of his apartment buildings for free. So we met at one of his apartments in 2004 and the rest is history.

I can't remember how I met MJ. I have a vague memory of a restaurant somewhere. #MJ DeMarco, do you remember?