How To Keep Your Excitement Alive

[Supa]

Since I'm pretty early into my journey to the Fastlane, I can't offer too much advice on how to build a successful business, or how to market your business, or anything else that needs one thing before you can start giving advice about it: success in that area. However I want to give back to this community as good as I can, so I thought about it and after a while a thought popped into my head: if I can't give people advice on what to do, I probably can tell people about the things that were not good for my goals, so in other words: give adive on what better not to do.

As always the following is just my opinion based on my experience, I can not talk for everybody but hopefully my advice will make you avoid some detours on your journey to the Fastlane.

A Slowlane Conversation
let me take you to a sunday dinner with the family. To my left we have my grandma, my grandpa, my mom and my step-dad, to the right we have my brother and his girlfriend. We are sitting around the table, just finished eating and after a few random topics the conversation gets to one specific topic: money. The convo goes something like:

Mom: "...how's the job going?"
Me: "uhh.. I guess it's ok.."
Mom: "ok? That's your job, you should care more about it!"
Me: "mum.. it is just a job. I do it to pay my bills, nothing more, nothing less"
Step-Dad: "how about going to school again? This way you could earn a lot more than you do in your job."
Me: "that's just not what I want for my life."
Mom: "and what do you want for your life?"
Me: "I told you. I don't want to waste the next 40 years working for someone else. I want to build a business."
Grandma: "that's just how it goes, it's always been this way. Should I tell you how many hours we had to work when we were your age?"
Me: "I know that it is possible to get rich young and live the life I want to live."
Step-Dad: "you should be more realistic, that's maybe 1 out of a million who gets rich with a business."
Grandma: "money doesn't make you happy.."
Me: "duh.. let's just accept that we have different opinions.. Let us change the subject."
Grandma: "btw honey (to Grandpa) did we play the lottery this week?"
Brother: "ok if you could buy any car, which one would it be?"
Me: "any car? Lambo Aventador of course.."
Brother: "man that's just a car for someone with a small penis.. something for a showoff. I would buy a nice middle class Mercedes."
Me: "why shou.. ok forget it." *shaking head*
Mom: "I'm so happy that I got an off day tomorrow, can't stand the job at the moment.."
Grandma: "just a few more years until you will retire, so just keep that in mind every morning you get up for your job"
Me to my Bro's GF: "wanna go to the balcony for a cigarette?"

While the two of us sit there she tells me:
Bro's GF: "you should stop telling them about your plans, they don't get it.."
Me: "yeah you are right.. just makes me exhausted every sunday"
Bro's GF: "keep doing your thing and they will understand it sometime.. can you show me the website you are working on?"

Also this conversation is fictional, it is based on some conversations that I had with my family in the past. Every family is different, but I think that a lot of us already experienced something similar to this convo.

Don't Let Anyone Take Away Your Excitement
Be careful who you share your thoughts with. Ever had the feeling of real excitement after you made an important step in your business? And of course you want to share this excitement with your family. Did you ever found yourself in a similar convo like the above after sharing your thoughts and excitement? What did it do for you? I guess nothing good. As entrepreneurs with a Fastlane mindset, we have to understand that we are the minority. Sharing your Fastlane thoughts with the majority (the Slowlaners and Sidewalkers) can do a lot of harm to your motivation. Things like "this will never work" or "so many other people are already doing the exact same thing" have the power to turn you from the happy whistling and running around in the sun type guy into the sad watching through the rainy window type of guy in the fraction of a second. Those mindsets can act like a poison to your motivation, they can make you doubt yourself and your idea. You may think those words brought you back to reality.. But they just brought you back to THEIR REALITY. And their reality is, that it is not possible to get rich while you are still young. Ask yourself if you want that to be your reality.

Don't Let Your Past Dictate Your Future
a lot of our limiting beliefs are based on our past experiences. If you tried to lose weight 5 times in the last few years, you probably won't be pretty confident in yourself, and you probably don't believe that you will achieve that goal. This thought process forms a limiting belief, of course most of it happens subconsciously. You have to overcome those limiting beliefs. Your past does not form your future. Your past formed the present, and the present, now, forms your future. In other words: it is in your hands how your future will look like.

But there's more to it... Just because you changed your belief system doesn't make the people around your change their beliefs about you. Think about it.. take your laziest friend, someone who likes to watch tv every evening or play PS4 for hours daily, could you imagine that he/she will create a million dollar business? Now chances are high that your closest friends and family think about you in a similar way. You can't convince your best friends merely with words to think of you as a young entrepreneur who is capable of making millions with his business. What they see is probably the guy who got drunk with them every weekend. Words can't do enough magic to change that image, but actions do.

Move In Silence And Let Your Actions Speak For You
Yeah you can try to convince your friends and family that you are willing to do anything, this time it will work and bla bla bla.. That's like a fat guy telling you he wants to lose weight, you won't believe him until he really does.
We all know this feeling of excitement that you get when you are happy about your business and how it goes, and we often feel that desire to share this excitement. But what if this feeling of excitement doesn't feel as good as it felt before you shared it with someone not likeminded? Why should you set your excitement and the motivation that follows this excitement at risk just for this desire of sharing it? Is there a way to avoid the negative comments about your ideas and your business? Is there a way of avoiding that someone takes away from your motivation? Yes there is a way. And it is simpler than you may think.

Just don't share your thoughts with everybody.

I can almost hear some saying "but I want to share it, I want to let people know what I am doing!" relax, you can. I'm just suggesting to share your thoughts with likeminded people. Likeminded people like most of the users on this forum, or likeminded people in your family and your friends.

Choose Wisely Who You Tell Your Thoughts
If you look at the convo with the family at the beginning, who would you choose to share your thoughts with? The decision is not pretty hard, the only one that shared my point of view and showed real interest in my business was my brother's girlfriend. She's the only one I showed the website in detail out of my friends and my family. Most of my friends don't even know that I work on a business at all, and my family knows that I do, but with no details. Without this forum, my desire for sharing my excitement would probably kill me, but thanks to this forum I have the opportunity to talk about those topics with likeminded people.

In my experience it feels way better to move in silence, instead of letting everybody know every step you take. Let your actions speak for you, and not your words which most people won't believe anyway.

Disclaimer: Even if it may seem like the opposite, I have a very happy and supporting family, and the best friends I could imagine. My friends and my family may not always understand my mindsets, due to what they been told since their childhood and how they grew up, but they definitely support me, whatever I do and I'm very thankful for them.

 

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[Supa]

Something I wanted to add to this thread is a thread by @Eskil (https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/co...ng-your-goals-might-defeat-the-purpose.62290/) because it fits to this topic.

Eskil's short description explains it good:

Basically, the study found that by telling people what our goals are, it might actually work the opposite way. Our brains can trick us into thinking we at least partially have achieved something our that we made progress to getting there somehow - in effect making you take less action to get there.

 

[Andy Black]

Since I'm pretty early into my journey to the Fastlane, I can't offer too much advice on how to build a successful business, or how to market your business, or anything else that needs one thing before you can start giving advice about it: success in that area. However I want to give back to this community as good as I can, so I thought about it and after a while a thought popped into my head: if I can't give people advice on what to do, I probably can tell people about the things that were not good for my goals, so in other words: give adive on what better not to do.

I love this thinking.

I've messaged well over 500 members in the forum since I joined. If someone follows me or sends me rep, I say thanks. Sometimes that person is new to the forum and I ask them how they're finding the forum.

One of the common things I've noticed about the thinking of new forum members is that they think it's a gold mine, but they don't have anything of value to offer yet.

You ALWAYS have something of value to offer.

Tell people stories of what not to do.

Make use of your newness to the forum and help out people who join a week later. Show them the posts that helped you get on your feet. "Help your past self." (as @AndrewNC mentioned to me once.)


I became a mod not so long ago. I made use of my newbie-ness and created a thread where I stored all the answers to my newbie questions. That'll help the next new mod who comes along.


Look what @jockinbox did not long after he joined... he created this thread to help out other people who've just joined:

• www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/absolute-beginners-guide-to-tmf-tflf.54998

He made use of his newbie-ness (to the forum), and logged everything he learned, as he learned it. Then he made it available to everyone else. Anyone could have done it, but it involved a bit of work. Not difficult work, just work. That is what adding value looks like.


So you've always something to offer, even when you're brand spanking new to something.

 

[GMJimmy]

Very good post, I don't know how many of us on the way towads the fastlane feels the same, but I do most of the times.

When I found this forum, I was glad that I will have a company, with whom I can discuss my interests, who think alike, who may even listen to my thought (yes, probably even I may have something to share with you).

I - too - chose the people to whom I talk about my plans and thoughts very carefully. Most of my friends and peers thought that I'm unrealistic, over-optimistic, and I should be just happy the way I am. That I should just be looking forward future promotions in job, more money, and maybe buying a house in the UK once my credit score and residency status allows that.

I can't talk honestly to most of the people. When they get excited abou a job interview - what should I say? Instead of telling them my opinion I just wish them good luck. Period. Or when one is just buying a car with financing (not even a nice car, just a plain normal car)? Yes nice car. So what? You are a slave to that car for the next 6 years.

I think we are the fat man who doesn't even dare to go to the gym but rather excercises at home until he lost 20 kg. We are the crazy scientist in the secret lab working on a secret formula. We are undercover until we dominate the world

Fortunately my wife totally supports me. My father is a businessman and had no job for a while, so he supports me too. I had a good mentor in business but he had just recently passed away. And here is the forum that unleashes my wildest power. But that's all for now. The other 99% of people or more are lifetime slowlaners and sidewalkers. There are a few MLM guys and hopers, but not worth mentioning.

This forum and the contributing members gave me more energy and more momentum than nothing else in the past 15 years. I work more on my side business than maybe never before. I'll try and give back to you as well whenever I think I have something to share.

 

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[Andy Black]

I'll try and give back to you as well whenever I think I have something to share.

You just did.

 

[Supa]

I love this thinking.

I've messaged well over 500 members in the forum since I joined. If someone follows me or sends me rep, I say thanks. Sometimes that person is new to the forum and I ask them how they're finding it.

One of the common things I've noticed about the thinking of new forum members is that they think it's a gold mine, but they don't have anything of value to offer yet.

You ALWAYS have something of value to offer.

Tell people stories of what not to do.

Make use of your newness to the forum and help out people who join a week later. Show them the posts that helped you get on your feet. "Help your past self." (as @AndrewNC mentioned to me once.)


I became a mod not so long ago. I made use of my newbie-ness and created a thread where I stored all the answers to my newbie questions. That'll help the next new mod who comes along.


Look what @jockinbox did not long after he joined... he created this thread to help out other people who've just joined:

• www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/threads/absolute-beginners-guide-to-tmf-tflf.54998

He made use of his newbie-ness (to the forum), and logged everything he learned, as he learned it. Then he made it available to everyone else. Anyone could have done it, but it involved a bit of work. Not difficult work, just work. That is what adding value looks like.


So you've always something to offer, even when you're brand spanking new to something.

Actually before writing this thread I thought to myself 'what could I do to add value to the forum members? I already did a thread on changing your beliefs and your mindset, what else could I do?' but then I thought about the things that were roadblocks or that took away from my motivation. No matter how confident you are in your business, if your whole family tells you that you should better go to school and get a good paying job, it makes you feel less excited.

What I learned in my journey so far is that moving in silence can be so exciting and therefore helpful for your journey. This does not only apply to business, I think it can be helpful in every area in that you want to get to a specific goal. If you want to lose weight, it feels way better to do it without talking about it with others, like @GMJimmy said, do your training at home and lose 20kg, without telling anyone your plans before.

I can't find the right words for it, it feels like that's your thing, and you do everything to reach your goal. Talking about it with everyone takes away from that feeling.