How to enjoy life?

[Peakdesire]

Trying to keep this as short as possible.

I'm 20 years old aspiring entrepreneur from Finland. In my spare time I write a fitness & motivational blog. I read great books. I read this forum & other internet resources. I go the gym 5x week. I meditate and eat healthy. On the weekends I usually go out to a club once to socialise a bit.

I've been somewhat depressed the past 2 years, sometimes severely sometimes less. The past year I've been really down. My life hast lost all it's excitement, passion, fun, deep relationships, and meaning.

I feel like I'm stuck. I feel like my life is stuck. I feel like I'm going in circles. I've felt like this for the past few years. I don't know what to do. I've looked for answers but found none.

Nothing feels like anyhthing anymore. Life feels meaningless and grim and boring.

I really hate this. I want to live life to the fullest and enjoy it. I want to feel ALIVE. I want to feel passion and excitement.

Thanks.

 

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[Lathan]

Not to put him on the spot or anything, but maybe @SteveO can chime in on this. He seems to have a great outlook on this thing we call life.

 

[Era]

The best thing you can do right now is focus your energy outward on helping others. Try volunteering, you will soon see it has a lasting impact. Also never depend on anything external for your happiness.

 

[Vigilante]

Trying to keep this as short as possible.

I'm 20 years old aspiring entrepreneur from Finland. In my spare time I write a fitness & motivational blog. I read great books. I read this forum & other internet resources. I go the gym 5x week. I meditate and eat healthy. On the weekends I usually go out to a club once to socialise a bit.

I've been somewhat depressed the past 2 years, sometimes severely sometimes less. The past year I've been really down. My life hast lost all it's excitement, passion, fun, deep relationships, and meaning.

I feel like I'm stuck. I feel like my life is stuck. I feel like I'm going in circles. I've felt like this for the past few years. I don't know what to do. I've looked for answers but found none.

Nothing feels like anyhthing anymore. Life feels meaningless and grim and boring.

I really hate this. I want to live life to the fullest and enjoy it. I want to feel ALIVE. I want to feel passion and excitement.

Thanks.

Your motivational blog is not going to be successful until you have a life worth sharing.

You'll find yourself. When you do, you might become unstoppable. You'll discover passion.

I'd dump the blog for now. It creates a dichotomy that probably compounds your discontent.

 

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[Vigilante]

Not to put him on the spot or anything, but maybe @SteveO can chime in on this. He seems to have a great outlook on this thing we call life.

He left.

 

[Mattie]

Usually we don't enjoy life when we live it for everyone else. The way I found to enjoy life was letting go of trying to be who I was supposed to be versus my authentic true self. When you give up your dreams and life to make everyone else happy, go through the motions, and play the part, you do lose your passion for life.

I had to let go of who everyone else told me I should be. Let go of what they told me to think and believe. The more you grow and inner develop, learn, and mingle with people outside your small portion of the globe you learn how big the world really is. You see more opportunities, you learn there are things to be seen, people to meet, and things just happen and bring you to that one moment where everything shifts and brings you to where you can thrive instead of survive.

 

[AubreyJ]

I agree with what Vigilante said- your blog isn't going to be successful until your are happy with your own life. When I was 19 (I am 21 now), I was at a pretty low point in my life and it was the first time in my life I have ever been even remotely depressed. I was sick of being unhappy with my situation so I decided to change it. I made a list of everything I was unhappy with- school, my weight, my eating habits, my business, my income..etc. and I made a promise to change all of those things. Now, at 21 years old, my life is completely different. All of the things I wrote down on that list are no longer things i am unhappy with- they are now things I'm very happy with. Aside from the list changing my life for the better, it also taught me that YOU have control over your own life- if you aren't happy with something, change it.

Figure out what exactly you are unhappy with, and change it. It will make you much happier and will hopefully get you out of this rut.

 

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[Peakdesire]

I agree with what Vigilante said- your blog isn't going to be successful until your are happy with your own life. When I was 19 (I am 21 now), I was at a pretty low point in my life and it was the first time in my life I have ever been even remotely depressed. I was sick of being unhappy with my situation so I decided to change it. I made a list of everything I was unhappy with- school, my weight, my eating habits, my business, my income..etc. and I made a promise to change all of those things. Now, at 21 years old, my life is completely different. All of the things I wrote down on that list are no longer things i am unhappy with- they are now things I'm very happy with. Aside from the list changing my life for the better, it also taught me that YOU have control over your own life- if you aren't happy with something, change it.

Figure out what exactly you are unhappy with, and change it. It will make you much happier and will hopefully get you out of this rut.

This is what I've tried to do for the past year now. Trying to change what I'm unhappy with but with no result.

I don't know what to do anymore.

 

[AubreyJ]

This is what I've tried to do for the past year now. Trying to change what I'm unhappy with but with no result.

I don't know what to do anymore.

Are you making significant changes? I think it is easy to make small changes and feel as though you are making big sacrifices when in actuality you are not. Just a thought.

If you are making big changes and still feel unhappy, maybe try talking to someone. Or try finding new hobbies.

 

[Peakdesire]

Are you making significant changes? I think it is easy to make small changes and feel as though you are making big sacrifices when in actuality you are not. Just a thought.

If you are making big changes and still feel unhappy, maybe try talking to someone. Or try finding new hobbies.

I would make significant changes if i knew what to change. I just want to enjoy life and i don't know what to change in order to accomplish that.

 

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[Aimee]

Do you have a goal that you're working towards? Aside from your motivational and fitness blog, do you have anything else to focus on that will get you further towards your goal? You say you're reading books and forums, but I think that can often make you feel even worse if you're not taking any action towards where you want to go, or you don't even know where it is that you want to go.

From what you're describing, I think I've had similar feelings before, and a lot of it stemmed from a lack of focus combined with confusion about what I wanted to do, or where I wanted to go in life. Having something to work towards gives you drive and purpose, which is often what you need to try and break yourself from a rut.

 

[Lathan]

He left.

Where is everyone going????

 

[Mattie]

Areas in your life that can change:

Job
Relationships
Education

Thinking
Beliefs

Behaviors
Habits/Addictions

What brings you joy and what brings you down in these areas? That will give you a start?

 

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[Yasai]

Take advice with a grain of salt. Including the following.

This could be a hormonal- or neurotransmitter imbalance. If it gets too extreme, which is rare, you might have to take anti-depressants (again: only if it's really extreme).

That being said, more often than not, mild depressions or feelings of emptiness are temporary. Everybody has them and it's perfectly normal.
The older you get, the more importance you tend to give your states of "sadness" or "emptiness".

It gets convoluted with all kinds of meanings and starts to get WAY more momentum than it should.
Suddenly it's not just "being sad", it becomes "being sad ABOUT being sad".
Or "Being disappointed about being too weak to enjoy life" etc.
It becomes a big pile of self-sustaining emotional crap.

Now saying "everybody gets depressed" doesn't solve anything, right?
As I mentioned, most "emotional states" are the result of "momentum". If you're sad occasionally, it probably doesn't have a chance to take roots within your everyday life.
But if it keeps going on and on and on, it starts to gain traction and it will soon become more and more difficult to stop those feelings.

Humans are creatures of habit.

If you can become "habitually sad/depressed", it's only logical that you can become a "habitual Optimist", doesn't it?

So you might want to try to completely break out of your current pattern, maybe even your current environment for a bit.
Interrupt the habit (interrupt the pattern) and allow a different emotional state to gain traction in its place.
Your sadness probably replaced a previous state of happiness, right?

(That alone is a valuable thought: The fact that you are sad NOW means that you have felt happy and full of joy BEFORE. You're capable of feeling great, just like you are capable of feeling empty. That makes you human.)

In any case, I highly recommend that you start installing positive, self-sustaining habits and see if you can create some momentum for your "joyful" states.
Instead of having a big pile of emotional, self-sustaining crap, like I mentioned earlier, try to create a huge pile of emotional, self-sustaining gold.

 

[Peakdesire]

Take advice with a grain of salt. Including the following.

This could be a hormonal- or neurotransmitter imbalance. If it gets too extreme, which is rare, you might have to take anti-depressants (again: only if it's really extreme).

That being said, more often than not, mild depressions or feelings of emptiness are temporary. Everybody has them and it's perfectly normal.
The older you get, the more importance you tend to give your states of "sadness" or "emptiness".

It gets convoluted with all kinds of meanings and starts to get WAY more momentum than it should.
Suddenly it's not just "being sad", it becomes "being sad ABOUT being sad".
Or "Being disappointed about being too weak to enjoy life" etc.
It becomes a big pile of self-sustaining emotional crap.

Now saying "everybody gets depressed" doesn't solve anything, right?
As I mentioned, most "emotional states" are the result of "momentum". If you're sad occasionally, it probably doesn't have a chance to take roots within your everyday life.
But if it keeps going on and on and on, it starts to gain traction and it will soon become more and more difficult to stop those feelings.

Humans are creatures of habit.

If you can become "habitually sad/depressed", it's only logical that you can become a "habitual Optimist", doesn't it?

So you might want to try to completely break out of your current pattern, maybe even your current environment for a bit.
Interrupt the habit (interrupt the pattern) and allow a different emotional state to gain traction in its place.
Your sadness probably replaced a previous state of happiness, right?

(That alone is a valuable thought: The fact that you are sad NOW means that you have felt happy and full of joy BEFORE. You're capable of feeling great, just like you are capable of feeling empty. That makes you human.)

In any case, I highly recommend that you start installing positive, self-sustaining habits and see if you can create some momentum for your "joyful" states.
Instead of having a big pile of emotional, self-sustaining crap, like I mentioned earlier, try to create a huge pile of emotional, self-sustaining gold.

Insightful post. Thanks.

Positive, self-sustaining habits? What would be an example? I already read good books, i do affirmations, meditation, i eat healthy, I try to stay as positive as possible, but it feels like a great struggle.

 

[Peakdesire]

Do you have a goal that you're working towards? Aside from your motivational and fitness blog, do you have anything else to focus on that will get you further towards your goal? You say you're reading books and forums, but I think that can often make you feel even worse if you're not taking any action towards where you want to go, or you don't even know where it is that you want to go.

From what you're describing, I think I've had similar feelings before, and a lot of it stemmed from a lack of focus combined with confusion about what I wanted to do, or where I wanted to go in life. Having something to work towards gives you drive and purpose, which is often what you need to try and break yourself from a rut.

I want to start a business of some sort but I don't know what kind of business.

Yes thats exactly what I need ''something to work towards that gives drive and purpose'' but I don't know what.

 

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[Ninjakid]

First, I always like to make it clear that I am not a certified therapist or psychiatrist.
Also, give yourself a pat on the back for reaching out and not letting this issue fester.

Now, if you've been depressed for many years, I highly recommend getting professional help. Getting out of depression will be a process, and it will take a lot more than what I or anyone can say on this forum. Usually if you're depressed for a few weeks, it could be because something happened that could understandably have made you feel that way. But if it's been going on for a few years, it's definitely a good idea to get professional help.

Now, other than that part, here's some other things you could do in the meantime:

I'm looking at this from two points of view: either outer circumstances or where you are at in your life are causing you to be depressed, or in some cases people are depressed without a blatantly obvious reason( I say that because there's always a reason even if it isn't blatantly obvious).

If it's the former: like say you're working a job you hate, or you're not working at all and feel like crap about it, you live with someone abusive, or you don't have any close relationships; then the obvious answer is that you need to change something in your life.

But the feeling I get from your post is that your case is more like the latter. I'm not 100% sure, but that's the feeling I'm getting.

Now here's the thing that would be puzzling for many: you seem to do all the right things, right? I mean you exercise, you meditate, you read great material, you're on this forum and you're mentioning starting a blog, so clearly you're a motivated young guy. You go to a club to socialize, you sound like a guy who would be interesting to talk to, and girls would probably be into in you. So what the F*ck could be the problem?

Here's what I think: you mentioned before that you have been trying to change things in your life, thinking that these "good habits" would get you out of depression; and now you're stuck because you've tried everything in your power and don't know what else to do. And every time you try something you always seem to revert back into depression, am I right?

It's because you've never let go of depression.

It's so easy for people who have never struggled with clinical depression (when it goes on for a period over many years) to say that you just need to make better habits and better choices. Sometimes it's like you try shit, try shit, try shit, and sometimes you're doing really well, them BAM!! One stupid a$$ thing knocks you back into the hole. Your car breaks down, a girl stops talking to you, your credit card is over-limit, or whatever it is, and then it's back to like life isn't worth living anymore. And then you have friends or family who just say "uggh it's so draining being around you because you're always depressed. Can you stop being depressed?" As if it's that F*cking easy to just decide "oh hey, I'm not gonna be depressed anymore."

After a certain period of being depressed, you become comfortable with it. That doesn't mean you like it, you probably F*cking hate it. But you're comfortable. It's easier to be down and gloomy than it is to be happy with yourself. And ultimately, you're going to stick with what you're familiar with. Depression isn't a temporary thing now, you use it as you're identity. "I AM depressed","it's MY depression","I'm doing this because I'm DEPRESSED." No matter how many books you read, how much you meditate or exercise, or how successful your business is, you're doing it while resting on your bed of depression with hopes that one thing will pull you off that bed.

That's the trap right there.

Now I'm going to show you how to hack this virus that is depression.

That bed of depression, take a can of gasoline, pour it all over the bed, and light that bitch the F*ck on fire (this is purely a metaphor, don't actually light your bed or anything else on fire).

Cut your attachment with depression. Don't identify with it. Don't talk about how you can't do x, y ,z because you're depressed. It's NOT YOU. STOP OWNING IT.

Now here's the flip-side to that. Don't lie to yourself about how you're feeling. Don't try to fill your head with only positive thoughts because that is lying to yourself, and creating disharmony within yourself. Imagine you're in a house and the power is out; and you wanna fix it, but someone is telling you "no, just think positive thoughts, we don't need power." That would drive you pretty F*cking nuts, wouldn't it? At the same time, it would be equally as aggravating if everyone is acting like their dog just died, and life has to stop because the power is out.

So what do you do? Well, you fix the electrical problem. Is the house an inferior house because the power went out? No, it's a decent house. The house isn't defined by it's electrical problem.

Similarly, you're not defined by depression. It's something you're going through, and you will get out of, but it's temporary.


Imagine you had a different image of yourself. Someone who is full of energy, loves to take life by the balls, and is overall comfortable to be himself.

What would that feel like? Really imagine how that would feel.

This is what I'm going to invite you to do. When you meditate, meditate on self-discovery. Look deeply inside of yourself and feel those unique qualities that make you you. What you'll find is that your true self is free of the confines of depression; and there's an abundance of brilliance, vitality, and freedom within you. Now, when you find those qualities, I want you to go out into the world and practice them. Don't just think about them. In fact, don't try to intellectually analyze what I'm saying to you. Go out and PRACTICE! Give YOUR GIFTS to the world. And what you'll find is as you GIVE YOURSELF to the world, the psychological and emotional framework, or your paradigm, in which you see the world from will start to change. Because you will embodying your qualities and practicing them, and as you do that, the depression that you feel will start to fade.

Now bear in mind, that there may be days when you're feeling down, and you want to revert back into depression. We're human beings, we have ups and downs, we can't be all positive and happy all the time. But DO NOT bite the bait and start remaking a bed of depression. Just feel it for what it is, without getting attached to it.

You won't help yourself by just thinking things, you will do so by practice.

And this isn't related to what we're talking about really, but you mentioned that you like to read. If you haven't read it already, read the book, "The Way Of The Superior Man," by David Deida. In the book, he talks about developing your inner energy and utilizing it in the world to become a more fulfilled being.

Stay strong my friend. It will get better, trust me.

 

[Vigilante]

Where is everyone going????

Said he wanted to spend his time on a real estate forum. 139,998 of us are still here

 

[Peakdesire]

First, I always like to make it clear that I am not a certified therapist or psychiatrist.
Also, give yourself a pat on the back for reaching out and not letting this issue fester.

Now, if you've been depressed for many years, I highly recommend getting professional help. Getting out of depression will be a process, and it will take a lot more than what I or anyone can say on this forum. Usually if you're depressed for a few weeks, it could be because something happened that could understandably have made you feel that way. But if it's been going on for a few years, it's definitely a good idea to get professional help.

Now, other than that part, here's some other things you could do in the meantime:

I'm looking at this from two points of view: either outer circumstances or where you are at in your life are causing you to be depressed, or in some cases people are depressed without a blatantly obvious reason( I say that because there's always a reason even if it isn't blatantly obvious).

If it's the former: like say you're working a job you hate, or you're not working at all and feel like crap about it, you live with someone abusive, or you don't have any close relationships; then the obvious answer is that you need to change something in your life.

But the feeling I get from your post is that your case is more like the latter. I'm not 100% sure, but that's the feeling I'm getting.

Now here's the thing that would be puzzling for many: you seem to do all the right things, right? I mean you exercise, you meditate, you read great material, you're on this forum and you're mentioning starting a blog, so clearly you're a motivated young guy. You go to a club to socialize, you sound like a guy who would be interesting to talk to, and girls would probably be into in you. So what the F*ck could be the problem?

Here's what I think: you mentioned before that you have been trying to change things in your life, thinking that these "good habits" would get you out of depression; and now you're stuck because you've tried everything in your power and don't know what else to do. And every time you try something you always seem to revert back into depression, am I right?

It's because you've never let go of depression.

It's so easy for people who have never struggled with clinical depression (when it goes on for a period over many years) to say that you just need to make better habits and better choices. Sometimes it's like you try shit, try shit, try shit, and sometimes you're doing really well, them BAM!! One stupid a$$ thing knocks you back into the hole. Your car breaks down, a girl stops talking to you, your credit card is over-limit, or whatever it is, and then it's back to like life isn't worth living anymore. And then you have friends or family who just say "uggh it's so draining being around you because you're always depressed. Can you stop being depressed?" As if it's that F*cking easy to just decide "oh hey, I'm not gonna be depressed anymore."

After a certain period of being depressed, you become comfortable with it. That doesn't mean you like it, you probably F*cking hate it. But you're comfortable. It's easier to be down and gloomy than it is to be happy with yourself. And ultimately, you're going to stick with what you're familiar with. Depression isn't a temporary thing now, you use it as you're identity. "I AM depressed","it's MY depression","I'm doing this because I'm DEPRESSED." No matter how many books you read, how much you meditate or exercise, or how successful your business is, you're doing it while resting on your bed of depression with hopes that one thing will pull you off that bed.

That's the trap right there.

Now I'm going to show you how to hack this virus that is depression.

That bed of depression, take a can of gasoline, pour it all over the bed, and light that bitch the F*ck on fire (this is purely a metaphor, don't actually light your bed or anything else on fire).

Cut your attachment with depression. Don't identify with it. Don't talk about how you can't do x, y ,z because you're depressed. It's NOT YOU. STOP OWNING IT.

Now here's the flip-side to that. Don't lie to yourself about how you're feeling. Don't try to fill your head with only positive thoughts because that is lying to yourself, and creating disharmony within yourself. Imagine you're in a house and the power is out; and you wanna fix it, but someone is telling you "no, just think positive thoughts, we don't need power." That would drive you pretty F*cking nuts, wouldn't it? At the same time, it would be equally as aggravating if everyone is acting like their dog just died, and life has to stop because the power is out.

So what do you do? Well, you fix the electrical problem. Is the house an inferior house because the power went out? No, it's a decent house. The house isn't defined by it's electrical problem.

Similarly, you're not defined by depression. It's something you're going through, and you will get out of, but it's temporary.


Imagine you had a different image of yourself. Someone who is full of energy, loves to take life by the balls, and is overall comfortable to be himself.

What would that feel like? Really imagine how that would feel.

This is what I'm going to invite you to do. When you meditate, meditate on self-discovery. Look deeply inside of yourself and feel those unique qualities that make you you. What you'll find is that your true self is free of the confines of depression; and there's an abundance of brilliance, vitality, and freedom within you. Now, when you find those qualities, I want you to go out into the world and practice them. Don't just think about them. In fact, don't try to intellectually analyze what I'm saying to you. Go out and PRACTICE! Give YOUR GIFTS to the world. And what you'll find is as you GIVE YOURSELF to the world, the psychological and emotional framework, or your paradigm, in which you see the world from will start to change. Because you will embodying your qualities and practicing them, and as you do that, the depression that you feel will start to fade.

Now bear in mind, that there may be days when you're feeling down, and you want to revert back into depression. We're human beings, we have ups and downs, we can't be all positive and happy all the time. But DO NOT bite the bait and start remaking a bed of depression. Just feel it for what it is, without getting attached to it.

You won't help yourself by just thinking things, you will do so by practice.

And this isn't related to what we're talking about really, but you mentioned that you like to read. If you haven't read it already, read the book, "The Way Of The Superior Man," by David Deida. In the book, he talks about developing your inner energy and utilizing it in the world to become a more fulfilled being.

Stay strong my friend. It will get better, trust me.

I really appreciate you taking the time to write all that. Thanks, I think this will help.

 

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[Aimee]

I want to start a business of some sort but I don't know what kind of business.

Yes thats exactly what I need ''something to work towards that gives drive and purpose'' but I don't know what.

Just give yourself a few days to pick something, anything, and then start it. I know it's easier said than done, but literally ANYTHING is better than wandering around hopelessly trying to find a direction. Whatever you do, you'll learn from it, and you can go from there. Write books, import things from China and resell them for profit, learn how to code...just anything you can think of to get yourself started.

 

[Yasai]

Positive, self-sustaining habits? What would be an example? I already read good books, i do affirmations, meditation, i eat healthy, I try to stay as positive as possible, but it feels like a great struggle.

One thing I didn't mention: Don't use positive habits only to "fight" your sadness. This might come back to bite you (in addition to causing Neurosis).

Accept your sadness and work with it. It's there to show you something. Do not close your eyes.

That being said, one thing you could do, is trying to uncover the negative self-talk. Some people, when they feel sad, also tend to have a lot of sad thoughts, which then put momentum to the whole process (they suddenly start "feeling sad about not being able to feel happy", like I mentioned).

Use that self-talk to your advantage. Start feeling happy about being able to live this life. The chances that YOU are alive are so infinitesimally small... and yet you're alive. If only one of your millions of ancestors hadn't met his or her partner, YOU wouldn't be alive today.

You are at the end of an unbroken chain of "lucky incidents" that all led up to your parents meeting and giving birth to you.
You won the lottery ticket. You get to experience life and everything that's fun about it. And everything that's infuriating about. And everything that's sad about it. And everything that's motivating about it. You get to experience all that and much more.

That's just one example.

Feeling sad or depressed is nothing to feel... well... sad and depressed over ;P
But nothing stops you from actually feeling a little gloomy every now and then. It's ok. You can always escape. I'm pretty sure you have been sad before and you made it out. Even to the point where you barely even remember you were sad back then.

The same way you've overcome past sadness, you can overcome this one, until it becomes irrelevant to you and you're asking yourself how in the world you could have ever felt bogged down by something like this (because when that time comes, you'll know how to handle even harder things than this).

 

[Blhhi]

I've been depressed before. It felt like I spent my whole life that way. I don't think anyone's gonna be able to help you too much. I think most people don't have a true understanding of depression because they've never felt it. They think it's being sad for a long time. If all you want is advice on loving yourself, there are people who've made their fortunes writing books about that subject, and they're ten times better at expressing themselves than some people on a forum (myself included).

I stopped being depressed when I started programming. I spent my whole life thinking I was too stupid to do anything scientific or logic-driven, but a friend of mine convinced me to try web design, and that eventually led me into actual coding. Once I realized I enjoyed it, I had something I believed in and loved. I thought, "I can get good at this. I can make a difference doing this."

Before that, I was a writer. I'd written 2 books, and had 2 more half-finished books and countless short stories. All unpublished. I was a musician, too. I had songs I'd play for my friends and family, and they'd love it. But I never did anything with them. I hadn't realized it, but I just became this depressed artist and I was trapped in my own head. I was 19, and I felt old.

But when I got into web design and coding, it was so different from my past identity that I was able to completely shift my self image. Suddenly, I was questioning my lack of self confidence. I picked up books on economics and psychology and physics. I never explicitly said it to myself, but I think unconsciously I thought, "If I can be a programmer, I can be a neuroscientist, and an economist, and a physicist, and a philosopher." I taught myself Japanese, and took all the money I had saved up since I was younger and bought myself a ticket to Japan. Before that, I was never interested in travel. I stopped listening to all the depressing music I loved. Instead, I experimented with new music. Nothing about me went unquestioned or untested.

I don't mention a moment where I realized I wasn't depressed because that moment never happened. I just sort of forgot I was depressed. It's like I was too busy being the new me to remember the details about the old me. If there's any advice I can give you, it's to do something you never thought you could, or would. Find something completely outside of your comfort zone and just go at it. Do it privately. Do it to fall in love with it, not to make money or be the best at it. Maybe you've been depressed so long you don't even remember what you're depressed for. It's just a part of who you are. I was like that. If that's the case, maybe you can start changing one thing about "who you are" at a time until suddenly that isn't who you are anymore.

 

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[NoLackey]

Make sure you're truly taking time to enjoy life. I think the issue for many lies in the way the world works in 2014. I am constantly multi-tasking which prevents me from enjoying things in life.

When I watch a movie, which should be a purely enjoyable entertainment, I am searching the internet for information, reading this forum, working on a project. Even if I am just messing around on the computer, I can't fully enjoy the movie -- I am distracted. I could not enjoy the entertainment of the movie.

I found I no longer read for fun -- I always read to learn something towards my goal. This isn't totally bad, but even the educational reading I can't enjoy because I'm so anxious to apply it to my goal. I could not enjoy the reading time.

When I sit down to simply relax and be with my thoughts, I couldn't stop thinking about how much I hated my current situation and how I couldn't come up with a way to change it. I could not enjoy the time to relax.

You said you meditate -- I have meditated, but in the past I even found I was multi-tasing there as well. I was meditating as a tool that I could use toward my goal. I wasn't enjoying the mental clarity meditation can bring.

My point is - sometimes you just need to stop. In my opinion multi-tasking is only good during short periods of times for specific tasks. Don't make it a mainstay in every day life as it will usually bring anxiety and keep you from enjoying things that are meant to be mentally enjoyable.

 

[MMatt]

Your motivational blog is not going to be successful until you have a life worth sharing.

You'll find yourself. When you do, you might become unstoppable. You'll discover passion.

I'd dump the blog for now. It creates a dichotomy that probably compounds your discontent.

Wrote this quote on my board for long-term reference, thanks.

I agree with what Vigilante said- your blog isn't going to be successful until your are happy with your own life. When I was 19 (I am 21 now), I was at a pretty low point in my life and it was the first time in my life I have ever been even remotely depressed. I was sick of being unhappy with my situation so I decided to change it. I made a list of everything I was unhappy with- school, my weight, my eating habits, my business, my income..etc. and I made a promise to change all of those things. Now, at 21 years old, my life is completely different. All of the things I wrote down on that list are no longer things i am unhappy with- they are now things I'm very happy with. Aside from the list changing my life for the better, it also taught me that YOU have control over your own life- if you aren't happy with something, change it.

Figure out what exactly you are unhappy with, and change it. It will make you much happier and will hopefully get you out of this rut.

Love this advice. Make a list of what you are unhappy about and make sure you are constantly progressing to change those things.

This forum never fails to produce. The beauty of getting a bunch of individuals together that know they have the power to change their lives rather than pouting about it forever.

To all of those depressed, I have not much advice but I wish you the best in getting out of your current rut. We all deserve to be happy as life is finite.

 

[P3HSB]

 

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[Kingmaker]

I've been where you are bro. I got out of it by going out and gaining new experiences, saying "Yes" to things people invited me to do no matter if I felt they were stupid/dangerous/not my thing as long as they were new and made me "live a little". And taking action towards my goals. When you're taking action, you will feel F*cking scared that it's not going to work out but you don't feel depressed anymore... You don't have time to be depressed. This video should speak to you:

 

[Worldisyours]

life is a joke and a test, a joke should be life laughed and a test should be prepped for

 

[BlakeIC]

Said he wanted to spend his time on a real estate forum. 139,998 of us are still here

much more here than i thought there was

 

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[Peakdesire]

life is a joke and a test, a joke should be life laughed and a test should be prepped for

A joke?

 

[Writer]

I made a list of everything I was unhappy with- school, my weight, my eating habits, my business, my income..etc. and I made a promise to change all of those things. Now, at 21 years old, my life is completely different. All of the things I wrote down on that list are no longer things i am unhappy with- they are now things I'm very happy with.

Wow, great advice. I will implement it TODAY. I am going to buy some waiter's pads (as by James Altucher) and write down ten things to change. Rep transfer.