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From Sidewalk to Slowlane and now - determined to go Fastlane

Topics related to Slowlane, Scripted mainstream dogma

sija1

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Hi everyone!

First of all, I'm new here and I just finished reading The Millionaire Fastlane . English is not my native language (I live in French speaking part of Canada) and I don't have the opportunity to speak it often, so pardon me if I make few mistakes.

I've been reading stories on this forum and for the first time in my life I would actually like to share my story which led me here. It is not a Fastlane story, but a life story about experience and learning.

I was born in Bosnia to a single mother in 1990. My father had left us before my birth. We had a pretty decent life, heck I could even say that we were in the upper middle class. Then everything changed. The war started in 1992, 6 days before my 2nd birthday. Our apartment was robbed by one of my mother's "friends" and we ended up losing almost everything. She didn't have a job and I actually remember her crying and saying "I don't know what to do" (even tho I was only 2-3 years old when it happened).

During the war, she got a job with United Nations Police Task Force IPTF as a translator. I didn't know what the job was about at the time because I was too young. Years later I learned that she was putting her life on the line every day. But that job brought the food on the table, and even more - it was highly paid considering the chaos that ruled during the war. The war has ended in 1995 but the IPTF stayed in Bosnia until 2002-2003. She lost her job.

She didn't move much and started having health problems. Her legs were weakening and I was always with her, helping her to stand and walk. Medication was helpful and she got a job at my elementary school as English teacher. However, once the treatment was over, leg problem was back and once again, she lost her job. She had saved some money during the years. Her health problems got worse and on one November morning in 2004 she died. I continued living alone (as a 14 year old because social services didn't know what to do - what a joke of a country) on the money that was left. That is the day I met my father but he didn't do much.

My uncle, who moved to Canada during the war, asked me if I wanted to come. At first I said no, but it took me like 2 weeks to see what world really is and I changed my decision. Six months into living alone, my best friend's parents invited me to live with them in the meantime. It was a big family, two parents and four kids, plus me. They always told me: "if there is enough place and food for six, there will be enough for one more."

In 2006, my girlfriend who I really loved, left me. My arrogance and frustrations grew and I got hooked on weed, drugs and alcohol. I became violent and almost got a police record which could have stopped my immigration process. After this, I changed my life a little bit, started reading and stayed out of the trouble.

After 3 and a half years of waiting, immigration process was done. I left everything I have ever known, loved or had in search of a better life. It was pretty hard in the beginning because everything was so different, the language, mentality, school system - really everything. I had problems with my family because we didn't see eye to eye. I learned french in a couple of months and got a job in a hotel restaurant as a dish washer. I went to college but screwed up 2 times because I was always waiting for that "magic opportunity" and I was always in search of something I didn't know what it was. It tried love, relationships, going out, almost everything. I got pretty depressed, and I felt lost once again. Once again, I turned to books, this time psychology mainly because I wanted to understand myself better and going to see a psy wasn't an option. I like solving my problems on my own. And i did.

I discovered a lot about my beliefs, my thinking patterns and determination. I moved out to live alone, got a student job as a programmer while keeping my old job at the restaurant (as a cook, I got upgraded in the meantime) and went on to finish college. This involved full time work and full time studying. It was a switch from Sidewalk to Slowlane. I finished college last month and I'm looking for a job as a programmer. I discovered the element that was making me unhappy - it is time. I want to have that free time, I hate being in chains. I've been reading get rich books and articles for a while but none has had an impact and such logic as TMF .

So that is my next step - to work full time so I can have some income while spending my evenings, weekends and all free moments learning everything I need to get started which is not hard since I love to learn new things. I know I will make it, because every single time I had determination and passion, I got incredible results.

If you have any advice, feel free to speak. I like to listen to what other people have to say, it is also a good form of learning. And sorry for a really long post.
 
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MJ DeMarco

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Incredible intro. You're a survivor and have been through things most of us cant even imagine.

Welcome aboard. :tiphat:
 

sija1

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Thank you very much MJ! It's really a great pleasure to be here! After reading some posts of other members I can see that this forum will be a big part of Fastlane learning process and a great motivational tool.

And of course, I would like to thank you for TMF . It's something we all see and learn in our or others' experiences but are never able to connect the dots and this book really did it!
 

Andy Black

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What MJ said.
 

Bellini

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I was born in Bosnia to a single mother in 1990. My father had left us before my birth....
Her health problems got worse and on one November morning in 2004 she died. I continued living alone (as a 14 year old because social services didn't know what to do - what a joke of a country)

@sija1 - I was very moved by your story.

That's a lot of heavy, painful life experiences to have been through at such a young age; abandonment, death, war, being displaced, moving, lost relationships, financial struggles, etc.

You obviously have amazing tenacity to have managed to press through all that, and I'm sure one day you'll see the bigger picture in all of it.

I also lost my parents by a combination of abandonment and death, but in a different way. People who still have their parents (even ONE parent) don't realize how fortunate they are. I hear so many young people complaining about their parents and being disrespectful and ungrateful, and it's sad.

It's the classic adage - 'You don't know what you've got until it's gone"

I don't know about you, but I found that trials, tribulations and lost love caused my heart to grow even bigger, full of compassion and empathy for people who are suffering. A lot of folks have no idea what real pain is.


Thanks for sharing ~
 

sija1

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Thanks for sharing ~

Thank you for replying!

@sija1 - I was very moved by your story.

That's a lot of heavy, painful life experiences to have been through at such a young age; abandonment, death, war, being displaced, moving, lost relationships, financial struggles, etc.

You obviously have amazing tenacity to have managed to press through all that, and I'm sure one day you'll see the bigger picture in all of it.

To be honest, I had some "help". I don't even how to explain, some would say it was luck, others would say coincidence. But I would call it destiny, God's help or a higher force. I'll give an example: In Bosnia, high schools are like college. Elementary school is 8 years, then you go to high school where you choose your field. I didn't want to go to that high school initially but it happened that I ended up visiting it and even being on the TV (saying that I saw some pretty girls during my visit, even tho I was unaware that there were like 15-20 girls in the entire school because the field I chose was Electrotechnics - concentration IT technologies. If it was today, it would probably go viral haha). Anyway, I changed my 3 year old decision on which high school I was going to go to in the last minute. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have met the guy who would go on to became my best friend and a brother I never had. This means I would have never lived with his family. The other thing is, they invited me in the exact moment that the money I had became so tight that I was asking myself how was I going to eat the next week.

This higher force saved my a$$ more than once. The chances are extremely high that I would have ended locked up or dead without it. I was in so much pain at the time that my actions were highly driven by emotions.

It took me a lot of time and effort to start seeing my life, past and present, from third perspective. I gained a lot of objectivity through experience and I could name every negative thing in positive experiences and every positive thing in negative experiences.

I also lost my parents by a combination of abandonment and death, but in a different way. People who still have their parents (even ONE parent) don't realize how fortunate they are. I hear so many young people complaining about their parents and being disrespectful and ungrateful, and it's sad.

It's the classic adage - 'You don't know what you've got until it's gone"

I am sorry to hear that. It is always hard to lose a loved one, no matter how strong we are.

I can understand those people from one perspective. Because I was in their shoes before. Being able to really appreciate things and people is only developed through the pain of loss... Like you said "You don't know what you've got until it's gone".
On the other hand, I always tell them to do better.
You never know when you might lose someone you love. I was 14 years old and just starting my adolescence. I was becoming a rebel and an a**hole, but I still had a great relationship with her, even tho it would change eventually because of my behavior (I know this for a fact). At least I am glad that her death didn't happen during my worst period, because I would have never ever been able to forgive myself. Now I can say that I have peace knowing that things ended in unconditional love between us. She was and still is my angel, mother, best friend, role model and inspiration.

I don't know about you, but I found that trials, tribulations and lost love caused my heart to grow even bigger, full of compassion and empathy for people who are suffering. A lot of folks have no idea what real pain is.

This is the number one reason why the best people are the ones who had suffered the most. Their compassion and empathy caused by their understanding of the world through personal suffering is a skill incredibly painful to learn but worth it. I believe it is the one and only path to self-mastery and I don't regret taking it. I want to be that person, even tho I am far from it.


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