finding love as an free spirit

[KingKo]

Hi,

I’m in the middle of a difficult decision and truly wonder if people have gone through the same, would love your guys opinion!

I have a relationship for 6 months now, with a girl I truly melt for. She is so cute. But our backgrounds differ pretty much, briefly:
me travelling around the world, living in Bangkok and Greece for more than 2 years altogether being now an international salesman - She living all her life in a small city with 7000inhabitants, being a teacher for small children.

Her dream is a house and children, to start with within 3years.

My biggest dream now is to succeed as an entrepreneur.
Besides, I want to travel a lot, visiting awesome conferences globally and live partly the year as a digital nomad, managing my business from abroad. I want to create and make a change in the world. I want to meet inspiring people all over the globe. Makes me feel that I'm alive! Deepening myself every day more and more in personal development and philosophy, reading books and create the best version of myself in order to have beautiful roots from my tree of life and enjoy the beautiful fruits from it of richness, wealth, happiness and fulfilment.

All day I question my relationship, which results in me staring at the void a couple of times a day during dinner for example, or having not much sexual interaction anymore and she pondering what's going on. She feels my hesitation, which is indeed 24/7 present on top of my mind. She confronted me with the fact that I don't give her trust for a future perspective. This makes her feel so sad and she starts crying, asking me: 'can you assure me that we will fight for a future together?' when she asks, I'm not able to give an answer, as I question the relation so much, and I start crying for making her feel so bad. This has been going on for a while now and I need to make a decision. It's too much weight for us both to life with this much uncertainty. Besides, she doesn't want to waste here time as she is getting older and wants to make children, or at least, have the perspective that she is together with a man who plans to have children in the near future.

I question:
me working at home listening to bob Dylan and grinding my startup - she being with her local friends from the village going to carnival parties, still frequenting the same pub as 15years ago in her local village

me visiting inspiring fellow entrepreneurs in Barcelona or London - she going to parties where teenagers are fighting drunk for a girl

me not having any touch with her party friends, she not having any touch with my entrepreneurial friends

me being a playboy before, she having a 10year long relationship before

me reading Richard Branson and Elon musk biographies in bed at night before we go to sleep - she going through facebook and snap chat

She respects me for working and is open to joining yearly trips with me. Even though I wonder - if she is not into this travel/business/free world mindset from herself, would she ever really enjoy it?

She tells me I have a big wall around me which protects my emotions because I always had to count on myself in the past, during good and bad times. I question myself:

* is it me who needs to learn to open up more, push myself to join her friends more which I don't feel like?

* am I not ready for a relationship because I first have to start my business and become the person I truly am (an entrepreneur instead of an employee surrounded by small minded people)

* isn't it that plus and min attract each other? She comes from a warm family with tonnes of love, me from a cold individualistic family.

*are our visions to far apart?

*I'm also afraid to become too much business focussed not being able to connect with a girl anymore. This relationship experienced me the warmth and love of somebody who is always there for you. It makes me so much stronger. (been single for a while before) But I can't stay in a relationship out of fear of being alone again of course.

*In case I choose for an entrepreneurial girl, does it really attracts and works - a marriage between two high achievers?


Has anybody been through the same?
What are your thoughts, past actions and results?

Thank for the feedback amigo's!

 

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[mrarcher]

Hi,

I’m in the middle of a difficult decision and truly wonder if people have gone through the same, would love your guys opinion!

I have a relationship for 6 months now, with a girl I truly melt for. She is so cute. But our backgrounds differ pretty much, briefly:
me travelling around the world, living in Bangkok and Greece for more than 2 years altogether being now an international salesman - She living all her life in a small city with 7000inhabitants, being a teacher for small children.

Her dream is a house and children, to start with within 3years.

My biggest dream now is to succeed as an entrepreneur.
Besides, I want to travel a lot, visiting awesome conferences globally and live partly the year as a digital nomad, managing my business from abroad. I want to create and make a change in the world. I want to meet inspiring people all over the globe. Makes me feel that I'm alive! Deepening myself every day more and more in personal development and philosophy, reading books and create the best version of myself in order to have beautiful roots from my tree of life and enjoy the beautiful fruits from it of richness, wealth, happiness and fulfilment.

All day I question my relationship, which results in me staring at the void a couple of times a day during dinner for example, or having not much sexual interaction anymore and she pondering what's going on. She feels my hesitation, which is indeed 24/7 present on top of my mind. She confronted me with the fact that I don't give her trust for a future perspective. This makes her feel so sad and she starts crying, asking me: 'can you assure me that we will fight for a future together?' when she asks, I'm not able to give an answer, as I question the relation so much, and I start crying for making her feel so bad. This has been going on for a while now and I need to make a decision. It's too much weight for us both to life with this much uncertainty. Besides, she doesn't want to waste here time as she is getting older and wants to make children, or at least, have the perspective that she is together with a man who plans to have children in the near future.

I question:
me working at home listening to bob Dylan and grinding my startup - she being with her local friends from the village going to carnival parties, still frequenting the same pub as 15years ago in her local village

me visiting inspiring fellow entrepreneurs in Barcelona or London - she going to parties where teenagers are fighting drunk for a girl

me not having any touch with her party friends, she not having any touch with my entrepreneurial friends

me being a playboy before, she having a 10year long relationship before

me reading Richard Branson and Elon musk biographies in bed at night before we go to sleep - she going through facebook and snap chat

She respects me for working and is open to joining yearly trips with me. Even though I wonder - if she is not into this travel/business/free world mindset from herself, would she ever really enjoy it?

She tells me I have a big wall around me which protects my emotions because I always had to count on myself in the past, during good and bad times. I question myself:

* is it me who needs to learn to open up more, push myself to join her friends more which I don't feel like?

* am I not ready for a relationship because I first have to start my business and become the person I truly am (an entrepreneur instead of an employee surrounded by small minded people)

* isn't it that plus and min attract each other? She comes from a warm family with tonnes of love, me from a cold individualistic family.

*are our visions to far apart?

*I'm also afraid to become too much business focussed not being able to connect with a girl anymore. This relationship experienced me the warmth and love of somebody who is always there for you. It makes me so much stronger. (been single for a while before) But I can't stay in a relationship out of fear of being alone again of course.

*In case I choose for an entrepreneurial girl, does it really attracts and works - a marriage between two high achievers?


Has anybody been through the same?
What are your thoughts, past actions and results?

Thank for the feedback amigo's!

Well having been with my wife since I was 13 years old and having two kids with her I truly believe with the right person you can have your cake and eat it too. We barely share any of the same interests. I will read entrepreneur books like you and she will sit on social media or watch trash tv. We have nothing to do with each others friends. Ill go see mine without her and the same goes for her. She supports me with my business but has nothing to do with it and no interest in it whatsoever. And if I have to go somewhere for any reason there is no question about it I just go no matter where it it. And the same goes for her. I believe that the reason we do so well together is that we leave each other the hell alone. She has her life, I have mine and at the end of the day we come home to each other with vastly different experiences and a lot to talk about. I actually met a couple in their 50s who had been together since they were teenagers and the wife told me "He works night shift and I work day shift and that's why we work so well together." Relationships are supposed to be fun and fulfilling but the problem is most people take it too seriously. Relax, take it as it comes and does it really matter if she isn’t an entrepreneur as long as she isn't stopping you fulfilling your dreams?

 

[KingKo]

Relationships are supposed to be fun and fulfilling but the problem is most people take it too seriously. Relax, take it as it comes and does it really matter if she isn’t an entrepreneur as long as she isn't stopping you fulfilling your dreams?

think that sums it up pretty much......... even though i wonder.. i do my best to be genuily interested in her day to day experiences. but most of the times i'm really not interested in what she has done. I do an effort to ask and listen, as love is a verb, but it is definitly not genuily out of interest. And as I try to explain her my day to day struggles and adventures, i notice how she on her side that she has a hard time understanding nor being interested. the common interest should be love, family, children and a house I guess to make it stable and durable.

 

[Tomekmeister]

Well having been with my wife since I was 13 years old and having two kids with her I truly believe with the right person you can have your cake and eat it too. We barely share any of the same interests. I will read entrepreneur books like you and she will sit on social media or watch trash tv. We have nothing to do with each others friends. Ill go see mine without her and the same goes for her. She supports me with my business but has nothing to do with it and no interest in it whatsoever. And if I have to go somewhere for any reason there is no question about it I just go no matter where it it. And the same goes for her. I believe that the reason we do so well together is that we leave each other the hell alone. She has her life, I have mine and at the end of the day we come home to each other with vastly different experiences and a lot to talk about. I actually met a couple in their 50s who had been together since they were teenagers and the wife told me "He works night shift and I work day shift and that's why we work so well together." Relationships are supposed to be fun and fulfilling but the problem is most people take it too seriously. Relax, take it as it comes and does it really matter if she isn’t an entrepreneur as long as she isn't stopping you fulfilling your dreams?

I'm 17 years old, but I've been with my girlfriend since I was 13. Same thing happens here, she doesn't really share my interests, but our relationship works really well, and I'm pretty sure it's the girl I'm gonna marry. It's the thing you just know. You probably had the same feeling when you were my age.

Although I have to disagree with you on the "leave each other the hell alone" part. We're in the same class and go to the gym together. If that wasn't enough, I'm usually at her place 3 times a week from like 18-23. So basically 80% of the time (if you don't count sleeping) we're together. And that's the key to our relationship, we built a really strong connection.

Now message to OP. As long as she supports you and you love each other it doesn't matter AT ALL what your interests are. The key to a long and happy relationship is fixing problems ASAP. We don't really fight over valuable stuff, it's usually some crap. If something bothers you, tell her immediately, and vice versa. This way you'll avoid bigger problems.

"A reporter asked a couple:
- How did you manage to stay together for 65 years?
The woman replied:
- We were born in a time when if something was broken we would fix it, not throw it away."

 

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