Dealing with lonliness

[Ninjakid]

I don't really want this post to sound sad lol

Anyways right now pretty much all of my friends live somewhere else right now (some went back to their native countries, or have gone away for school). Currently, my business requires only my input, so I usually work on it alone. But on my downtime I don't really have people hang with, or talk face to face. I've got my family around, but they're usually busy with their own lives.

I don't go to school, or work at a job (for now anyways), so any advice on how to meet like minded people?

 

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[Darius]

I don't really want this post to sound sad lol

Anyways right now pretty much all of my friends live somewhere else right now (some went back to their native countries, or have gone away for school). Currently, my business requires only my input, so I usually work on it alone. But on my downtime I don't really have people hang with, or talk face to face. I've got my family around, but they're usually busy with their own lives.

I don't go to school, or work at a job (for now anyways), so any advice on how to meet like minded people?

Find a launchhouse or coworking space. You can meet some cool people there, while still keeping focus.

 

[AubreyJ]

What about getting a dog? I am a huge introvert, and so loneliness is something that I've never really experienced, because besides a few close friends or a boyfriend, I genuinely prefer to be alone. But, my dog is one of my best friends- it's nice to always come home to something that is extremely excited to see you, and something that loves you unconditionally.

Aside from a pet, maybe try joining clubs, or try going to places where you'll meet people who are into the same hobbies as you- I've met really cool people at the gym or at car events, or even at Guitar Center when I go there to test out different instruments. They may not have the same fastlane mentality as you, but it is always nice to get your mind off work for a bit and meet up with people who are passionate about the same hobbies as you.

 

[Patchwork Girl]

I don't know where you live but I have struggled with the same thing myself and my work can be quite isolating. The usual advice is to join a club or group for a hobby or interest - doing/learning the activity takes the pressure off talking to new people. Have you tried this? If you don't want to go alone maybe get a family member to tag along for the first session or two! Or maybe get a small job (even if you don't need it - something social) or volunteer somewhere, just for a couple of hours a week - I find it much easier to start talking to people when I'm working alongside them.

 

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[Noxtus]

Bars and night clubs are awesome man.

 

[Ninjakid]

@Darius I've never gone to those before, what are they?

@AubreyJ that's actually a great idea, but living with grandparents at the moment, so can't do that right now.
My dad has a bunch of dogs at his place though. When I go there I usually feel good because I enjoy their company
Yeah joining clubs would be a good idea. I used to go various meet-ups and things before, but when I was with my S.O., I kind of stopped doing a lot of those things. I guess now that we're broken up, it would be healthy for me to start doing those things again

 

[Ninjakid]

@Patchwork Girl yeah I think that would be a good idea. I tend to easily make friends when I work somewhere, but even if we don't hang out, it's nice to just converse with people

@Noxtus haha true, but I'm not much of a club goer. Some nights I'm down though, and I wouldn't mind. Maybe next weekend

 

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[Noxtus]

theres no easier way to meet someone and become friends than when both of you are a little messed up (; or alot lol

 

[Hope]

I couldn't help you out there, I don't do anything else right now except for working out, eating, sleeping, and business, I plan to move to Europe in 2016 so long as everything goes well in my business, but until then, I'm a lone wolf.

 

[KassandraTB]

Meetup.com and join groups

 

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[SteveO]

I second the club or hobby thing. I have a lot of friends. They are from the fastlane forum, softball, and running clubs. Hundreds of acquaintances from these few alone. All you need to do is find something that interests you and that you enjoy. Then look up the others that enjoy it also.

 

[Rcaraway1989]

Meetup.com and join groups

Agree with this. Join like 10 or so meetups. And on Sunday, pick 3 events happening that week. Go to them.

I'm introverted, too -- but I believe it's important to engage in activities that expand your social and emotional self (as well as physical).

Not everyone you meet is fastlane, but if you keep flexing your social muscle, you will start to bring better and better people into your life.

Mastermind groups are also super nice (I'm looking to form one soon, too).

 

[Noxtus]

yea theres alot of ways to make new friends but something i forgot to say is honestly man the best thing you can have is a lover. I've had alot of friends some have turned their back on me and others have stabbed me in the back. but its different with someone you love. Theres a kind of agreement that its you two vs the world and together you can conquer it. dont get me wrong tho its not as easy as getting a girlfriend of course but ultimately i think its important for any great man to have a woman behind him (or vice versa)

 

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[AubreyJ]

yea theres alot of ways to make new friends but something i forgot to say is honestly man the best thing you can have is a lover. I've had alot of friends some have turned their back on me and others have stabbed me in the back. but its different with someone you love. Theres a kind of agreement that its you two vs the world and together you can conquer it. dont get me wrong tho its not as easy getting a girlfriend of course but ultimately i think its important for any great man to have a woman behind him (or vice versa)

I disagree with this. If you're number one priority is to have a lover, what happens if you break up? Then you are back at square one. I think the number one thing is finding a couple of really great friends. Like I said in my first post on this thread, I don't have that many friends, but I have a few really, really close friends. I've had boyfriends who have come and gone over the last 5 years, but my close friends have always stayed consistent. It's important to have people in your life who you can tell anything to, and people who you know are going to be around 5+ years from now- and chances are (unless you are dating your future husband/wife) your significant other will not be that person who is going to be there in 5, 10, or even 20 years.

 

[Noxtus]

you misunderstand sorry i meant to say its not just the simple solution of getting a girl friend but i dont think you have to make that priority number one to achieve it at all. I currently have a fiance and i found her in my down time

 

[HBK]

Yeah and besides a gf can be very distracting. Where about's do you live? I would recommend attending a meditation course where you will sort of meet like-minded people as you assume people attending are trying to better themselves at these and it would also vastly benefit you.

 

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[Ninjakid]

@Hope that's great to hear that you're doing your thing.

@KassandraTB , @SteveO , @Rcaraway1989 Some really great advice. I haven't really taken advantage of that site, but I'm willing to try it out. I'm a really extroverted person actually, and I'm cool with interacting with many different people.

@Noxtus very true, but I just got out of a serious relationship, and I don't know if it's completely over or not. But either way, I'm not really down for a new relationship or even hookup right now.

@AubreyJ you kind of mirror my cynical views on relationships lol. I do believe you can find someone special who will always stay by your side, but those types are rare and far in between.

@HBK On the contrary, I think a healthy, stable relationship can be the best thing for someone who's motivated. Many successful businessmen have had the same partner for years and their accomplishments are to be envied. I live in Vancouver, Canada, and I actually know of a meditation place that my friend introduced me to. Issue is, it's like a two hour transit ride each way, seeing as I only have a learner's permit right now. But there's a class on thursday that I'm thinking about going to, will probably help a lot

 

[DeletedUser394]

Dude there's like 100 fastlaners in vancouver. Go hang out.

I was in Vancouver yesterday.

 

[Ninjakid]

Really? You live nearby?

I'll try to find them, and we'll party it up.
Jk, but would be cool to meet some of them

 

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[DeletedUser394]

Really? You live nearby?

I'll try to find them, and we'll party it up.
Jk, but would be cool to meet some of them

I live in Calgary.

In Vancouver often, mostly just for flight connections.

There are seriously a lot of them in Vancity. Meeting up with fasteners in person is great, even if you just go out and have fun (instead of talking about business 100% of the time). It's life changing.

 

[RogueInnovation]

Dance, Martial Arts, Conventions.
People at these places will make friends with you, and you'll learn stuff.

The gym can be great too. Its very natural to meet people there, imo, and you can do cool interesting stuff with them like mountain biking etc or whatever they are into.

 

[Ninjakid]

I live in Calgary.

In Vancouver often, mostly just for flight connections.

There are seriously a lot of them in Vancity. Meeting up with fasteners in person is great, even if you just go out and have fun (instead of talking about business 100% of the time). It's life changing.

How do you usually meet them?

@RogueInnovation I used to do taekwondo classes a lot, but I got busy and commuting there all the time became kind of a pain. But I'm thinking I'll get back into it. I met some amazing and inspiring people there.

 

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[DeletedUser394]

How do you usually meet them?

@RogueInnovation I used to do taekwondo classes a lot, but I got busy and commuting there all the time became kind of a pain. But I'm thinking I'll get back into it. I met some amazing and inspiring people there.

Post in the meet up section a couple weeks before I travel to wherever I'm going at the time.

 

[Ninjakid]

Post in the meet up section a couple weeks before I travel to wherever I'm going at the time.

Great idea mate. I'm gonna try that. Thanks a million!

 

[Marc B.]

I have met a lot of people by becoming a regular at my local gym. The trick is to open up and talk to people; introduce yourself! I'm not sure how introverted or extroverted you are, so this may/may not be difficult for you, but the best way to get over cold-approach anxiety is repetition. I'm not trying to get ahead of myself, but when you've been alone for a while it can take a bit to get acclimated to a new social atmosphere. I'm speaking from my own experience. If you're a member of any other forums, see if people are having meet ups. It's a common social activity for car enthusiasts and I know that they're not the only ones who do it. Into games? See if there are any LAN parties in your area. You catch my drift.

The last thing I can think of is to try reconnecting with old friends who you haven't spoken with in weeks, months, years even.

Not all of my suggestions are original, but they might reinforce what other members have said. Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck.

P.S.: Don't worry--your post didn't come off as "sad."

 

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[LibertyForMe]

I like to talk to my business friends on Skype. Then, even if I don't have any friends close by, I can still talk and have some great friendships. I stay in touch with quite a few forum members this way, and am even very good friends with a guy who I have never even met in person from this forum!

 

[pickeringmt]

Hey man, I am extremely isolated in this sense as well. I have been so for some time.

Focus on you. Be who you want to be. You have to become your life's purpose otherwise you will never find satisfaction.

You can have tons of people in your life and still be alone. Know yourself and you will never feel the pain of loneliness.

 

[Ninjakid]

I have met a lot of people by becoming a regular at my local gym. The trick is to open up and talk to people; introduce yourself! I'm not sure how introverted or extroverted you are, so this may/may not be difficult for you, but the best way to get over cold-approach anxiety is repetition. I'm not trying to get ahead of myself, but when you've been alone for a while it can take a bit to get acclimated to a new social atmosphere. I'm speaking from my own experience. If you're a member of any other forums, see if people are having meet ups. It's a common social activity for car enthusiasts and I know that they're not the only ones who do it. Into games? See if there are any LAN parties in your area. You catch my drift.

The last thing I can think of is to try reconnecting with old friends who you haven't spoken with in weeks, months, years even.

Not all of my suggestions are original, but they might reinforce what other members have said. Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck.

P.S.: Don't worry--your post didn't come off as "sad."

I hear ya man. I think the main problem with me is that I don't really have many outside activities, so it's harder for me to meet people at the moment. As for approaching others, I have no problem with that. So my next step is probably to look for clubs or meetups with people who have similar interests.

As for old friends, that sounds like a good idea. I only have one old friend from before who I actually consider my friend; but it would be nice to see how's he's doing.

Thanks for the advice bro, it actually helps a lot

 

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[Ninjakid]

I like to talk to my business friends on Skype. Then, even if I don't have any friends close by, I can still talk and have some great friendships. I stay in touch with quite a few forum members this way, and am even very good friends with a guy who I have never even met in person from this forum!

I have a similar syndrome. The coolest people I know I interact with online or phone usually haha

 

[Ninjakid]

Hey man, I am extremely isolated in this sense as well. I have been so for some time.

Focus on you. Be who you want to be. You have to become your life's purpose otherwise you will never find satisfaction.

You can have tons of people in your life and still be alone. Know yourself and you will never feel the pain of loneliness.

Yeah I see what you're saying man.

Truth is, loneliness is more of an internal struggle than actually being alone. As Robin Williams said, the worst thing is to end up with people who make you feel alone.

But bro, all the same, I wouldn't recommend isolating yourself. It's not really healthy. I used to purposely do that a lot, but once I opened my self up to interact with people, everything got better