A Reader's Rants and Thoughts on Writing

[COSenior]

Maybe it isn't the best idea in the world to start a thread to catalog the (numerous and egregious) writing errors I've encountered since I started reading indie authors' work. I always start by saying people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, just before or just after I've launched a salvo myself. For that reason, please feel free to point out the errors I'll no doubt make, with jeers and taunts if you must.

However, the time has come for me to provide some sort of value besides 'Hey, look at me, I'm a published author and I made a buck or two.' As far as I know, the best value I can provide is that of, if not grammar police, at least lifeguard...

I'll start with a few of my current pet peeves as a reader. Granted, some of these errors may slip through even in professionally edited books. But if, like me, you are an indie whose budget doesn't yet run to professional editing, you may want to keep an eye peeled for these. They are in no particular order, but if they have an asterisk, they are the ones that cause me to literally howl in dismay when encountered, frightening my husband and the next-door neighbor's dogs. I'll add more as I encounter them. Please feel free to add your own.

Don, donned, donning.* I don't know what ill-informed and/or diabolical author decided to resurrect this archaic set of words, but I'd like to rip her throat out. Yes, it's probably a woman, because it is encountered almost exclusively in romance novels. And it's almost always used incorrectly. Don means 'to put on', usually an item of clothing. Donned means the person already put on the item of clothing, and donning means the person is in the act of putting on the item of clothing. If I were reading paperbacks, I'd rip out pages when I encounter instances of donning that, from context, mean 'wearing'. Since I'm reading my Kindle, I have to settle for the aforementioned howling in dismay, followed by grinding my teeth. Without context, the examples could be misconstrued as correct, so I won't give any. I'll just say, STOP IT! No more donning, nada, zilch. Just say he was putting it on, there is no excuse for using a term that went out shortly after Shakespeare's demise. If you mean he was wearing it, say that. Yeah, it's almost always a hot guy wearing a leather jacket or backwards ball cap, or something else that screams, 'I'm cool'. Cut it out! Period.

Participial phrases.* If what I'm about to say is confusing, please feel free to look up the reference here: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/627/02/. This is not an archaic and restrictive 'rule' from Strunk and White's Elements of Style, it is a rule of grammar that, when ignored, creates a confusing and sometimes ridiculous sentence. What is it? A participle is a verbal (i.e., a word formed from a verb but used as an adjective) that ends usually in -ing or -ed. It's the -ing form that often gets people in trouble. You see, that phrase, although it may begin a sentence, modifies the next noun or pronoun in the sentence, ie., the object of the phrase. For example, "Donning her jacket, Elizabeth turned and beat her head against the wall for not being able to simply put on her jacket." You see how that works? And how annoying that word is? It was Elizabeth whose action was described by the participial phrase 'donning her jacket'. So, what's the problem you may ask? It's this. More often than not, I see something along these lines: "Kissing me, I turned and fled." Obviously the participial phrase was referring to someone besides the 'I' who turned and fled. Someone else was doing the kissing. If you can't keep what you are modifying with a participial phrase straight, quit using participial phrases. It's just as easy to write, "I turned and fled because he kissed me." Yeah, more words. Two more to be precise. Is someone charging you for them? Then don't worry about it.

Wrong homonym. Okay, this one could be the result of a typo, I agree. I've even done it myself on occasion. Just be careful. But if you don't know the difference between there, they're and their, look it up! The English language is rife with these little traps. Your and you're, him and hymn, you get the picture. Words that sound alike but are spelled differently and mean different things. Nothing is more revealing of ignorance than getting the simpler instances of these words wrong. It doesn't make me howl like the first two, but if I see more than one or two instances, I stop reading the book. I can't get past that stuff. Maybe you're a great storyteller, I get that, but if you failed high school English, get a ghostwriter to bring your stories to life, or study up. Seriously. Please.

Rant over for today. Look for more in future episodes.

 

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[Magik]

A pet peeve of mine is excessive use of adverbs. Thank God most people understand now that "he said questioningly" will only take the reader out of the story, and that "he said" is fine. There is also no need to tell me that "she slammed the door angrily". If someone slams the door, they are angry (I almost said "typically" angry). Adverbs are usually unnecessary (usually is needed here to avoid speaking in absolutes), unless a matter of degree is needed for the reader to understand. Words like "slowly", "quickly", etc are sometimes needed. If there is a level of tension in a scene, someone walking "slowly" can draw the reader in, though you don't need to tell me that he ran "quickly". Okay, I'm done now.

 

[Cruor Vult]

"Hello, Angus." Myra said airily.
"Why, hello there, Myra." Angus grinned obsequiously.
"Angus, are you here alone?" she inquired curiously.
"Yes, Myra" he responded sadly.
"Angus, where is Fiona?" she asked wonderingly.
"Myra, she has the flu and had to stay at home," Angus answered sorrowfully.
"Oh, Angus, how terrible for you," Myra gasped shockedly.
"Yes, Myra. On the other hand, she is a bore," Angus pointed out happily.
"Indeed, Angus. She can't stop talking about the many ways there are of heating water," Myra agreed laughingly.
"Ah, Myra, you've noticed," Angus smiled breezily.
"Angus, everyone has," Myra stated definitively.
"As you know, Fiona is my wife", Angus reminded her gently. "And when we were married, she only knew one way of heating water," he continued exasperatedly.
"Which way was that, Angus?" Myra pryed innocently.
"Myra, it is an interesting story," Angus began darkly. "As you know, since you're my sister and we've been close all our lives, I had a fear of fire growing up," he continued seriously. "Not just house fires, but the actual burning of combustible materials in all its forms," he explained.
"Angus, I remember," Myra confirmed reassuringly. "I seem to recall that once, you ran away from a fire instead of alerting the fire brigade or trying to save anyone, with the unfortunate result that both our parents died," she recollected gracefully.


I call this the TV sitcom school of writing. Not a big fan of that.

 

[COSenior]

A pet peeve of mine is excessive use of adverbs. Thank God most people understand now that "he said questioningly" will only take the reader out of the story, and that "he said" is fine. There is also no need to tell me that "she slammed the door angrily". If someone slams the door, they are angry (I almost said "typically" angry). Adverbs are usually unnecessary (usually is needed here to avoid speaking in absolutes), unless a matter of degree is needed for the reader to understand. Words like "slowly", "quickly", etc are sometimes needed. If there is a level of tension in a scene, someone walking "slowly" can draw the reader in, though you don't need to tell me that he ran "quickly". Okay, I'm done now.

Mea culpa. I like adverbs, because I'm fundamentally (adverb used as adjective) lazy, and want to just tell the reader how the character feels instead of finding a way to show it. Also, adverbs add thousands of words to my vocabulary, and it's a little disappointing not to be able to use them.

However, you are correct. As a reader, it's annoying and makes me feel that the writer doesn't respect my intelligence. It isn't a grammar issue, but it is a writing issue and I am striving in my fiction to eliminate them to the extent possible. As of my last couple of books, at least adverbial cues in dialog are gone. I hope that the writers who are developing and improving through this sub-forum will take note of your excellent observations.

Thanks for your contribution.

 

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[COSenior]

"Hello, Angus." Myra said airily.
"Why, hello there, Myra." Angus grinned obsequiously.
"Angus, are you here alone?" she inquired curiously.
"Yes, Myra" he responded sadly.
"Angus, where is Fiona?" she asked wonderingly.
"Myra, she has the flu and had to stay at home," Angus answered sorrowfully.
"Oh, Angus, how terrible for you," Myra gasped shockedly.
"Yes, Myra. On the other hand, she is a bore," Angus pointed out happily.
"Indeed, Angus. She can't stop talking about the many ways there are of heating water," Myra agreed laughingly.
"Ah, Myra, you've noticed," Angus smiled breezily.
"Angus, everyone has," Myra stated definitively.
"As you know, Fiona is my wife", Angus reminded her gently. "And when we were married, she only knew one way of heating water," he continued exasperatedly.
"Which way was that, Angus?" Myra pryed innocently.
"Myra, it is an interesting story," Angus began darkly. "As you know, since you're my sister and we've been close all our lives, I had a fear of fire growing up," he continued seriously. "Not just house fires, but the actual burning of combustible materials in all its forms," he explained.
"Angus, I remember," Myra confirmed reassuringly. "I seem to recall that once, you ran away from a fire instead of alerting the fire brigade or trying to save anyone, with the unfortunate result that both our parents died," she recollected gracefully.


I call this the TV sitcom school of writing. Not a big fan of that.

ROFLMAO

 

[MorgothBauglir]

I don my robe and wizards hat...

Something that gets to me is when an author describes every single action their character takes.

He went to the bathroom. Once finished, he moved to the basin and washed his hands. At that point he dried his hands on a towel. He moved to the door, opened it and left the bathroom.

Leave a little to the imagination, please.

 

[COSenior]

I don my robe and wizards hat...

Something that gets to me is when an author describes every single action their character takes.

He went to the bathroom. Once finished, he moved to the basin and washed his hands. At that point he dried his hands on a towel. He moved to the door, opened it and left the bathroom.

Leave a little to the imagination, please.

Argh! Are you guys deliberately reading my books and bringing up all my failings? Nothing like a writer with OCD, right?

 

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[MorgothBauglir]

Argh! Are you guys deliberately reading my books and bringing up all my failings? Nothing like a writer with OCD, right?

LOL this is awkward

 

[COSenior]

LOL this is awkward

Nah, just kidding. Sort of.

 

[MorgothBauglir]

Nah, just kidding. Sort of.

lol. I have so many bad habits it's not funny. Going over the first draft is absolutely brutal for me. I'm like, did I really write that?
After a few drinks I start to overuse similes and metaphors and wax poetic, so the narrator's voice is constantly changing.

I find that since I started writing, I notice an author's quirks a lot more easily, but I'm way more forgiving.

 

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[Lauryn]

I'm over here hysterical over @Cruor Vult and @MorgothBauglir 's examples. @COSenior good points.

As for me, there are things that annoy me, yet unfortunately I can't put it into words. I guess I hate 3rd grade language in stories. I hate 3rd person written in childish tones.

I once closed a book for something like:

Jenny was so excited about her school clothes. She had been wanting school clothes all throughout the year. When she picked up her pink boots with the fur, she thanked her Big Poppa Pump for everything he bought her. She wanted to make him as happy as he made her. That night she made sure she put on her pink boots with the fur and her matching Dior lipgloss with MAC mascara and showed him how much she loved her school clothes.

 

[COSenior]

OMG, that's hilarious...as an example. I think I'd have thrown it across the room.

 

[COSenior]

Can't say this is a pet peeve, because I've only seen it in one book, and it got corrected halfway through, but I found it amusing. A horse that was whiskering instead of whickering. Had to have been an error on either the author's part and the editor only caught one instance, or vice versa, the author got it right and the editor introduced the error. Gotta watch those editors!

 

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[Cruor Vult]

A horse that was whiskering instead of whickering. !

That is amusing. It conjures up an interesting image

 

[MJ DeMarco]

A pet peeve of mine is excessive use of adverbs.

I downloaded a FREE book (fiction) from Amazon and I barely made it through two pages -- every sentence had an adverb.

I nervously did this...
I cautiously did that...
I angrily reacted...

They say that using an adverb is a form of author laziness. The solution is to find a better verb.

 

[Magik]

I downloaded a FREE book (fiction) from Amazon and I barely made it through two pages -- every sentence had an adverb.

I nervously did this...
I cautiously did that...
I angrily reacted...

They say that using an adverb is a form of author laziness. The solution is to find a better verb.

Yep. My opinion is adverbs make your prose softer. I don't want soft prose, I want tough prose. I also don't want to insult my reader's intelligence either, I'm very conscious of that. For example, if I have a piece of dialogue where a character is pissed, I could simply put an exclamation point at the end of the sentence, and the reader will understand that the character is angry. The word "angrily" doesn't need to be used. Or, if the scene is set up correctly, the reader will understand what is going on without an adverb. I do use them, but only when I feel I need to, which is not much.

The general editing rule is, once the first draft is finished (as long as the story is in place), you should eliminate at least 10%. That means unnecessary sentences, words, etc. It's amazing how much more punch prose can have when you remove a few unnecessary words.

By the way, any book that has that many adverbs did not go through an editor. An good editor would not let the author get away with that many adverbs.

 

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[Rem]

I'll sprinkle in some adverbs from time to time to assist me "sporadically" but yeah using them too much prevents the story from flowing. As a reader I want to get absorbed into the story as if I am there. When I come across too many adverbs it actually disrupts my flow as a reader.

The one thing that truly annoys me is when there are too many large words that are not normally used in regular speech. There is nothing technically wrong with it but sometimes tossing in 4 words in the same sentence that I have to look up on google for a meaning is annoying. I know the author wants to appear intelligent with their wide range of vocabulary words but as a reader I personally do not care. I would rather understand and move on.

 

[COSenior]

I'll sprinkle in some adverbs from time to time to assist me "sporadically" but yeah using them too much prevents the story from flowing. As a reader I want to get absorbed into the story as if I am there. When I come across too many adverbs it actually disrupts my flow as a reader.

The one thing that truly annoys me is when there are too many large words that are not normally used in regular speech. There is nothing technically wrong with it but sometimes tossing in 4 words in the same sentence that I have to look up on google for a meaning is annoying. I know the author wants to appear intelligent with their wide range of vocabulary words but as a reader I personally do not care. I would rather understand and move on.

Again, guilty as charged, but I don't do it to appear intelligent. I do it because I'm well read, have a large vocabulary, and consider any word I use as a normal word. I do it in speech, too, but I am aware that it disturbs or annoys some people. The question is, would changing those words assume that my readers aren't intelligent and therefore be an insult? Or would it make my prose more accessible? Inquiring minds want to know. @Magik, any thoughts?

 

[Cruor Vult]

Again, guilty as charged, but I don't do it to appear intelligent. I do it because I'm well read, have a large vocabulary, and consider any word I use as a normal word. I do it in speech, too, but I am aware that it disturbs or annoys some people. The question is, would changing those words assume that my readers aren't intelligent and therefore be an insult?

I do the same thing. I'm against "dumbing down" any writing, which I have done too frequently for a column I write. I don't do it anymore, because when I read someone else's work and I see a word I don't know, I look it up, and suddenly I have a learned a new word. I'm sure many other readers do the same, especially young ones. Just my opinion.

 

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[Magik]

@COSenior- Hmm, well, my point regarding reader's intelligence is that readers are usually smart people. They can usually understand what's going on in a scene without the adverb, but that's more of my own opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. I'm more guilty of using a weak verb without an adverb, so while I hate adverbs, when I go through editing, I will still need to add some better verbs in place of some of the weak ones. However, this could vary based on genre. For example, it may be common in the romance world to use a lot of adverbs. If romance readers are used to it, then go for it. Adverbs are grammatically acceptable. The truth of the matter is that the average reader cares about the story, and not much else, but by sharpening your prose, you don't alienate the people who do pay attention to the writing.

Now, as far as using adverbs in general, most professional editors will tell you to pick a stronger verb instead. Here are some examples right out of the book Self-Editing For Fiction Writers:

With Adverb: Angrily she set the cup and saucer on the kitchen table.
Without Adverb: She slammed the cup and saucer on the kitchen table.

Here, they are telling us that by using the verb slammed (better verb than set), we no longer need the adverb because when someone slams something, we know they are angry. We could take it even further though and say that "kitchen" is even an unnecessary word, if the reader already knows the room in which you are in, thus giving us: "She slammed the cup and saucer on the table." More punchy, more direct, but again, that gets down to a matter of opinion. Adjectives are sometimes overused, but it really gets down to style. I'm not an expert YET, that's just my opinion. I could talk for hours about this stuff, I love it.

 

[Rem]

Again, guilty as charged, but I don't do it to appear intelligent. I do it because I'm well read, have a large vocabulary, and consider any word I use as a normal word. I do it in speech, too, but I am aware that it disturbs or annoys some people. The question is, would changing those words assume that my readers aren't intelligent and therefore be an insult? Or would it make my prose more accessible? Inquiring minds want to know. @Magik, any thoughts?

It's probably me and I am not telling people not to use stronger and more intelligent words. I do like to learn, but I also like to pick up a book and relax and escape. So with that said, it's probably just the mood I am in at times. I wouldn't say I am against dumbing it down, it's just that sometimes larger words seem awkward and out of place and it slows down my flow if I have to struggle. I am not a stupid person or unintelligent and it isn't often I read and struggle with it. Sometimes I come across a word I may have to look up and that's fine. In contrast, I have read some books (usually non-fiction) and the entire book is laced with enormous words that nobody really uses, and it is apparent to me they are plugging them in to appear more intelligent. Maybe they think if they appear more intelligent then I will believe what they are trying to tell me on the page?? It is very rare, that I read a fiction book and think this way. For instance, my sister's thesis she wrote in college was one big headache. For me to get through it and understand her side of the argument was nearly impossible. Sure, she writes using intelligent words, and a thesis is probably the proper place but if your goal is to get your point across easily then it failed miserably.

I don't want you to feel I was targeting anyone and if I don't go look up a word then it's my lazy butt and lack of drive to learn, and not the problem of the writer. Being planted on the couch and enjoying a nice novel I rarely ever feel this way anyway.

 

[COSenior]

@COSenior- Hmm, well, my point regarding reader's intelligence is that readers are usually smart people. They can usually understand what's going on in a scene without the adverb, but that's more of my own opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. I'm more guilty of using a weak verb without an adverb, so while I hate adverbs, when I go through editing, I will still need to add some better verbs in place of some of the weak ones. However, this could vary based on genre. For example, it may be common in the romance world to use a lot of adverbs. If romance readers are used to it, then go for it. Adverbs are grammatically acceptable. The truth of the matter is that the average reader cares about the story, and not much else, but by sharpening your prose, you don't alienate the people who do pay attention to the writing.

Now, as far as using adverbs in general, most professional editors will tell you to pick a stronger verb instead. Here are some examples right out of the book Self-Editing For Fiction Writers:

With Adverb: Angrily she set the cup and saucer on the kitchen table.
Without Adverb: She slammed the cup and saucer on the kitchen table.

Here, they are telling us that by using the verb slammed (better verb than set), we no longer need the adverb because when someone slams something, we know they are angry. We could take it even further though and say that "kitchen" is even an unnecessary word, if the reader already knows the room in which you are in, thus giving us: "She slammed the cup and saucer on the table." More punchy, more direct, but again, that gets down to a matter of opinion. Adjectives are sometimes overused, but it really gets down to style. I'm not an expert YET, that's just my opinion. I could talk for hours about this stuff, I love it.

While I appreciate the expansion of your point about adverbs, I was asking how you feel about 'dumbing down' your vocabulary to avoid annoying your reader with 'big' words.

 

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[COSenior]

It's probably me and I am not telling people not to use stronger and more intelligent words. I do like to learn, but I also like to pick up a book and relax and escape. So with that said, it's probably just the mood I am in at times. I wouldn't say I am against dumbing it down, it's just that sometimes larger words seem awkward and out of place and it slows down my flow if I have to struggle. I am not a stupid person or unintelligent and it isn't often I read and struggle with it. Sometimes I come across a word I may have to look up and that's fine. In contrast, I have read some books (usually non-fiction) and the entire book is laced with enormous words that nobody really uses, and it is apparent to me they are plugging them in to appear more intelligent. Maybe they think if they appear more intelligent then I will believe what they are trying to tell me on the page?? It is very rare, that I read a fiction book and think this way. For instance, my sister's thesis she wrote in college was one big headache. For me to get through it and understand her side of the argument was nearly impossible. Sure, she writes using intelligent words, and a thesis is probably the proper place but if your goal is to get your point across easily then it failed miserably.

I don't want you to feel I was targeting anyone and if I don't go look up a word then it's my lazy butt and lack of drive to learn, and not the problem of the writer. Being plantedPl on the couch and enjoying a nice novel I rarely ever feel this way anyway.

Please understand that I wasn't taking your remarks personally, any more than I took personally the remarks above, though it may have been difficult to tell I was answering with irony. When I started this thread, it was with full knowledge that if I could persuade people to comment, I was likely to see some of my own failings as other people's pet peeves. I respond, often with what I think is humor, to foster the conversation. Unfortunately, my sense of humor is sometimes quirky, and not recognized as such. Please don't ever feel that you must justify how you feel. I only meant to take accountability for something I recognize as a failing in certain instances, and get a conversation going regarding what to do about it. Thanks for your contribution.

 

[Magik]

While I appreciate the expansion of your point about adverbs, I was asking how you feel about 'dumbing down' your vocabulary to avoid annoying your reader with 'big' words.

Oh, sorry, I misunderstood.

When I have blocks of narrative summary, between scenes or at the end of a chapter, I get loose and use bigger words and metaphor. When there's a scene with dialogue, I do the opposite. I say as little as possible as the narrator, usually just enough to keep the scene flowing, and let the characters run the show from there. This is what I aim for, though I'm not where I want to be with my writing yet. I guess there's a balance involved, kind of like preparing a meal with a ton of ingredients. Ultimately, it's all an art and every artist will have their own formula.

 

[COSenior]

Just found something else to rant about. Picked up a medical thriller with a fascinating description and stupidly didn't read the reviews. Within the first two pages, the author had described a woman with a fever of 130F trying to crawl out of her house for help, said she got the 'flu' in the 'woods' in New Mexico, and described her symptoms as those of bubonic plague, which I understand he later developed into a pandemic of world-wide proportions.

By the third page, it was clear that a coroner didn't recognize it as such. A little research on Google would have told him his victim would be in a coma or dead by the time her fever reached 107F or so, bubonic plague symptoms are known to millions of laypeople and would certainly be known to coroners, and furthermore, unless it mutates rapidly, is now easily killed by modern antibiotics. The level of ignorance on the part of the writer was so egregious that I couldn't read any further.

What have you read or tried to read lately that stopped you cold within a few pages?

 

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[Rem]

Yes google is your friend. I had a kid in 1958 call another kid a name. (won't say what it was). My mom, of all people, told me they didn't say that in 1958. I was like "doh"

Something as small as that can really be a problem. Do your research!! I went back and learned what was common for kids at that age to call another kid for a name during that time period. In fact, I am now looking for something cliche' for that time period.

 

[COSenior]

Oh, yes, the anachronistic slang problem. I had it the other way around. My publisher's editor claimed no one in the New Adult age group calls anyone 'dude' or 'dork' anymore. I beg to differ, because I've heard it, but then I frequent backwaters. My answer was to avoid using slang at all, though that may be a worse problem. Google didn't help me in that instance, and I had no wish to go an hang out with kids of that age unless it was my grandkids. Sometimes research has to be more hands-on than Google, alas.

PS, @Rem, I was a kid during that time period, if you'd like to PM me with any questions you don't want to run past your mom. I think I can remember that far back.

 

[Rem]

Everyone says dude. I would consider that a very safe slang word.

I used the word dillweed. It's the summer of 1958 and the 2 friends are going to be freshmen in high school. I am not looking for an actual expletive but more along the lines of dufus, moron, idiot, etc

 

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[CarrieW]

A square?

Sent from my SCH-I200 using Tapatalk

 

[Rem]

A square?

Ah nice. I love that!!! Any other suggestions before I change it to square?