Mental Health & Failing over and over, at a young age.

[JT388]

Hello,

First time posting on this thread (and any Entrepreneur thread) I've been lurking for a LONG time! - All the lurking gave me motivation to start up a Logo design business 6 weeks ago, which has been making a small bit of money per week. It could be much more if it wasn't for my complex brain.

Here's why. I've been battling depression and anxiety for a lot of my life. I am 18, I've been an entrepreneur since I was 10, when I was 11 I was making $1,000 a day selling DVDs on eBay, until 1 day my emotions took over me and I completely stopped everything, spent the next 7 years dealing with becoming an adult as well as a heavy mental health weight I couldn't battle on my own, but couldn't tell anyone. This year was particularly the hardest year of my life. It wasn't until I had a new feeling at 11PM at night 6 weeks that I felt motivated to try and resell a business service online, it took me 3 hours to set up, the next morning I had sales coming through that fuelled me with 3 weeks of motivation.

But it seems the depression and anxiety has crawled back into me again, it has affected my relationships with family, friends - I feel absolutely alone. Money is my greatest confidence booster (I admit it) - I come from a wealthy family, but that wealth doesn't totally get poured into my business ventures, my sisters get there $150,000 private boarding school education and there $60,000 degrees totally paid off, but it's a big meeting and discussions to borrow a mere $2000 from my family, so now I don't bother asking them. I don't have any friends or family or truly understand what this business is, everyone seems to just ask me how much money I made this week.

I guess I am scared. Scared that I wont find the cure at the other end of this journey (financial freedom) which sometimes I get scared of and my mind will naturally kick me into a state of not believing in anything I do - all I do in these modes is read peoples 'failure stories' on forums.

I am doing this totally alone. My depression and anxiety limits me to only being able to communicate with only a very select few people via the internet - to be honest, I'm shit scared of you all. It's almost like a feeling that the world is out to get you, and the only weapon is money, as it can pay the way to be as distanced and protected from the harmful and inhumane society we live in today.

I feel really alone trying to make my way to the 'top' (financial freedom) - like all you beautiful minds, I wouldn't be able to handle working for someone else.


Have you dealt with these feeling, or overcome them?

 

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[Newpollz]

Hi,

I feel really alone trying to make my way to the 'top' (financial freedom) - like all you beautiful minds, I wouldn't be able to handle working for someone else.

First of all, you are definitely not alone. Personally, I don't think there is a "top" as you call it. There is however "doing" , making at least 1$ on your own today is "doing".

I guess I am scared. Scared that I wont find the cure at the other end of this journey (financial freedom) which sometimes I get scared of and my mind will naturally kick me into a state of not believing in anything I do - all I do in these modes is read peoples 'failure stories' on forums.

Remember @JT388, there is no starting or stopping - only doing and sometimes you have to lose your mind before you come to your senses.

If the fastlane forum has taught me anything, it's that we are not here only to make more money, we are here to become better, if not only more aware people.


Quotes from the Peaceful Warrior:

Socrates: Everyone wants to tell you what to do and what's good for you. They don't want you to find your own answers, they want you to believe theirs.

Dan Millman: Let me guess, and you want me to believe yours.

Socrates: No, I want you to stop gathering information from the outside and start gathering it from the inside.

 

[Delmania]

Have you dealt with these feeling, or overcome them?

Depression, stress, and anxiety are all normal emotions for entrepreneurs. Most of what is presented in the media (and to some extent, this forum) is the "Facebook effect". All you see are peoples' highlight reels, you don't see the person lying on the floor, sobbing because his idea flopped, his bank account is at zero, and creditors are calling.

In your case, it sounds like you need professional counseling.

 

[Fox]

There is a limit to what anyone, no matter how great their experience, can help you achieve through the internet.
I would recommend you seek out professional help immediately. This is what they are trained to do.
There is no shame in doing so and plenty of the worlds top athletes, business people and performers have done similar.
I wish you all the best and hope you seek help with this right away.

 

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[Kingmaker]

Cut the excuses, move out of your parents house, and accept full responsibility for your life. If you were really working towards your goals, you wouldn't have time to be depressed. It sounds like an excuse for being a lazy shit honestly.

 

[Imgal]

Have you dealt with these feeling, or overcome them?[/QUOTE]

My advice is before anything else that you talk to someone about how you're feeling. Maybe that's counselling, maybe it's therapy, maybe it's a business or life coach. I've had times in my entrepreneurial journey where it's felt hopeless. It's felt like I was banging my head against a brick wall and for a while it become something of a non-stop cycle mainly because of one thing. I isolated myself and wouldn't talk to anyone about it meaning it got worse and thoughts got darker even when the work I was doing was actually very successful. The thing that broke my cycle was saying what I was feeling out loud. Some of it made sense... but honestly the truth was saying it to someone else I realised most of what felt so awful was actually things I'd been building up in my head and the outside world was a lot less frightening that what I made it.

Coming to this forum and being brave enough to say that you're finding things tough shouldn't be ridiculed. It just should be commended. You say you feel alone. Let me tell you something, apart from a few fools who aren't allowed to stick around long here, this place is a community in the truest sense of the world. People are here because they are looking for others like them, they want to support others like them, they want to succeed and thrive on others doing so. At times there will be some tough love. Don't be scared of this. Tough love means people care. It takes a lot more effort to point out where something or someone is going wrong than to just go "Great idea!" and move on.

Everything you've written is very much focused on what isn't working, what has gone wrong and what could go wrong. What has happened can't be changed. Forget that. The rest... well yes it could go all wrong, but it's just as likely it could go oh so right. Choose to believe the latter. Believe me you'll feel a whole lighter doing so.

But again, if you're feeling depressed and anxious and feel unable to push past that even with talking to people then seek medical attention. This forum can offer you support and advice, but it can only go so far and none of us profess to be doctors or psychiatrists (apart from the ones who are!)

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

Cut the excuses, move out of your parents house, and accept full responsibility for your life. If you were really working towards your goals, you wouldn't have time to be depressed. It sounds like an excuse for being a lazy shit honestly.

Great coaching. /sarcasm

Seek first to understand THEN to be understood.

@JT388

I was in the same boat some 13 some odd years ago.

What I learned is that these feelings you're feeling -- depression, loneliness, "anxiety" -- these are all physiological and mental states we put ourselves in. It's not something that happens to you -- it's something you create/do to yourself.

If I can give you something immediate to make you feel better straight away it's to work out and start eating healthier every single day.

Get your vitamins and minerals (especially D if you're hitting the winter months). Get enough water (half your body weight in ounces per day). Your physiology needs to support your psychology.

As an entrepreneur your brain runs a lot faster and hotter than most people's and it depletes vitamins, minerals, everything MUCH faster than the average person.

I did a research project a few years back and found that practically every single "great" person in any field suffered this same thing. From Beethoven to Mozart to Abraham Lincoln and dozens and dozens of others. They would cycle up, become incredibly creative, inspired, whatever you want to call it, and they would crash shortly after -- and crash hard. The one thing they all had in common during this period is that they weren't taking care of themselves physically and nutritionally.

But beyond that if you're willing to give a book a try: Awaken The Giant Within is the one that pulled me out of that cycle.

And don't be scared to reach out to other forum members. We're all in this thing together.

 

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[Imgal]

I did a research project a few years back and found that practically every single "great" person in any field suffered this same thing. From Beethoven to Mozart to Abraham Lincoln and dozens and dozens of others. They would cycle up, become incredibly creative, inspired, whatever you want to call it, and they would crash shortly after -- and crash hard. The one thing they all had in common during this period is that they weren't taking care of themselves physically and nutritionally.

This is so bang on. I have had the honour to work with some great creatives in different industries and seen moments of pure genius followed by that huge crash you describe.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

bang on.

Great choice of words!

 

[Ninjakid]

This won't cut to the heart of the issue, but here's some things I recommend for your anxiety and depression:

Take up weight-lifting, and/or some form of martial art. Notice how your confidence increases, and your anxiety decreases.
Mental health issues take a toll on your body. I would imagine you don't get a lot of exercise, and you feel tired and weak most of the time. When you put your body through strenuous exercise, it will circulate your energy out of your head and more through your body.
Take martial arts in a class, that way you get to interact with people and get out of your shell, and you get professional instruction as well as being able to spar.

Do meditation and mindfulness exercises. Look them up online, and check out @AndrewNC's posts, as he's really knowledgeable about this stuff. This way you can clear your mind of the toxic thoughts. Think of it as starting with a blank canvas so you can paint something new. You've formed destructive thought patterns over the years so you need to unlearn it.

Read about success stories, not stories of failure. If you're constantly absorbing things that are going to make you depressed and anxious, it's like being on a diet but always stopping by McDonalds. You're creating an energetic reaction within you to attract failure, instead of success. Read some success stories here, and notice how you feel. Remember that feeling, and harness it whenever you need it.

Seek professional help. This may seem obvious, but having a counselor or psychiatrist to guide you will help immensely.

And don't beat yourself up these issues. Pretty much everyone who has had a fulfilling life has gone through something similar. But our society tells us that if we're depressed, that we have a "mental illness" and that something is wrong with us that makes us abnormal.

Pain is a blessing. Without pain, there is no pleasure. Without darkness, there is no light. The depths of your darkness moments will be the heights of your brightest and most blissful ones.

You sound like someone who spends a lot of time thinking about the world, so if your parents can send you to a good university, I recommend attending and taking some courses like sociology, cultural anthropology, or history. Plus you'll be around your peers and get to feel more comfortable interacting with people; maybe even get a girlfriend which is always nice.

 

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[The Grind]

Read A First Rate Madness.

 

[Guest34764]

Get professional help.

Get huge by lifting.

Get all the nutrition you need.

Don't forget to eat.

Get a good start to the morning.

Start meditating.

I get anxiety a lot and I used to have panic attacks where I couldn't breathe.Then I got fit as hell and starting getting confident In my choices.

Everyone once gets In your position OP, we'll be here for you, but It's up to you how you deal with It.I'm no therapist, but I did have the issues you have, probably not to the same degree.Get better man and good luck.

 

[GSF]

Hello,

First time posting on this thread (and any Entrepreneur thread) I've been lurking for a LONG time! - All the lurking gave me motivation to start up a Logo design business 6 weeks ago, which has been making a small bit of money per week. It could be much more if it wasn't for my complex brain.

Here's why. I've been battling depression and anxiety for a lot of my life. I am 18, I've been an entrepreneur since I was 10, when I was 11 I was making $1,000 a day selling DVDs on eBay, until 1 day my emotions took over me and I completely stopped everything, spent the next 7 years dealing with becoming an adult as well as a heavy mental health weight I couldn't battle on my own, but couldn't tell anyone. This year was particularly the hardest year of my life. It wasn't until I had a new feeling at 11PM at night 6 weeks that I felt motivated to try and resell a business service online, it took me 3 hours to set up, the next morning I had sales coming through that fuelled me with 3 weeks of motivation.

But it seems the depression and anxiety has crawled back into me again, it has affected my relationships with family, friends - I feel absolutely alone. Money is my greatest confidence booster (I admit it) - I come from a wealthy family, but that wealth doesn't totally get poured into my business ventures, my sisters get there $150,000 private boarding school education and there $60,000 degrees totally paid off, but it's a big meeting and discussions to borrow a mere $2000 from my family, so now I don't bother asking them. I don't have any friends or family or truly understand what this business is, everyone seems to just ask me how much money I made this week.

I guess I am scared. Scared that I wont find the cure at the other end of this journey (financial freedom) which sometimes I get scared of and my mind will naturally kick me into a state of not believing in anything I do - all I do in these modes is read peoples 'failure stories' on forums.

I am doing this totally alone. My depression and anxiety limits me to only being able to communicate with only a very select few people via the internet - to be honest, I'm shit scared of you all. It's almost like a feeling that the world is out to get you, and the only weapon is money, as it can pay the way to be as distanced and protected from the harmful and inhumane society we live in today.

I feel really alone trying to make my way to the 'top' (financial freedom) - like all you beautiful minds, I wouldn't be able to handle working for someone else.


Have you dealt with these feeling, or overcome them?

I can relate alot to what you've said, things that have helped me;

• exercise regularly and eat a healthy diet- I tend to go into a downward spiral of negativity, poor diet and lack of exercise, things pick up again when I make an organised effort to eat well and exercise.
• get off the computer and force yourself to get out there and meet people, talk with customers, go to meetups with other people with similar interests/ entrepreneurs etc, catch up with friends. I personally find this the hardest because im quite introverted and not very social but I always feel better, more positive and focussed after.
• switch your focus from negative thoughts by focussing on the positive things you do have, be grateful for what you have in your life rather than things you don't have, also look into the abundance mentality.
• meditate- for me its more like having 10-20 minutes away from everyone where I can clear and de-clutter my head
• I would really recommend reading the power of now, after I started practicing what I read in that book people started telling me how much i'd changed so yeah read that book if you haven't already.

 

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[Andrew Ward]

If you set up a fast lane business where your time is not so tied to it then it doesn't matter so much to your business if you do have a melt down... Which will probably help to reduce the severity of a melt down as you will have less to be anxious about.

I've had a few periods of high anxiety over the years. Often it is when I've been working hard due to environmental factors and don't see an end to it. Worrying about the business then failing due to me not being so active definitely didn't help.

I've learned the best way to deal with anxiety (for me anyway) is to exercise, relax my body, and try not to give a damn about the worst case scenario happening.

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk

 

[Andrew Ward]

Cut the excuses, move out of your parents house, and accept full responsibility for your life. If you were really working towards your goals, you wouldn't have time to be depressed. It sounds like an excuse for being a lazy shit honestly.

Fricking hell dude. I hate laziness as much as most people here but Depression and Anxiety can be very very real. Telling someone they need to stop being a lazy a-hole really isn't productive.

The guy has clearly demonstrated his personal drive and that his issues stem a little deeper than him being inherently a lazy person.

All he needs are a few small coping mechanisms to help him deal with his depressive/anxious episode. Thankfully others in this thread are providing this.



Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk

 

[BaraQueenbee]

I find it super refreshing and helpful, how everyone acknowledges and talks about also having "darker" feeling.

Thanks everyone for that.

To the OP: strenght, compassion and energy to you. Hope you find a way from the advice given that works for you!

 

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[Delmania]

I find it super refreshing and helpful, how everyone acknowledges and talks about also having "darker" feeling.

As do I. I think more people need to acknowledge both negative emotions and personal weaknesses. I think we spend far too much time and energy covering up the fact that we're not perfect, when the reality is everyone has failings.

 

[Maxjohan]

Cut the excuses, move out of your parents house, and accept full responsibility for your life. If you were really working towards your goals, you wouldn't have time to be depressed. It sounds like an excuse for being a lazy shit honestly.

LOLLLLLLLL. You're a mean motherfcker! Don't listen to this guy or his friend Cyriex. They are in the same gang. The bully people on the Internet gang.

I'm done with this forum now. I'm moving to greener grass. Just the fact that comments like this is prefectly acceptable (around here) when some one is down. That's the last drop for me!!

 

[BaraQueenbee]

As do I. I think more people need to acknowledge both negative emotions and personal weaknesses. I think we spend far too much time and energy covering up the fact that we're not perfect, when the reality is everyone has failings.

I personally think its important to acknowledge the "darker" times and parts. Even though they suck, they are needed. And like OP did, reach out for some advice when feeling stuck, is the way to go!
So true @Delmania

 

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[Newpollz]

LOLLLLLLLL. You're a mean motherfcker! Don't listen to this guy or his friend Cyriex. They are in the same gang. The bully people on the Internet gang.

I'm done with this forum now. I'm moving to greener grass. Just the fact that comments like this is prefectly acceptable (around here) when some one is down. That's the last drop for me!!

Tough Love :
Another version of "being cruel to be kind". To show somebody some tough love today will save them heartache in the future but may cause a small amount of upset for the reciever immediately after the "Tough Love" has been dispensed. They would suffer more if you let them get on with their life with no interference from third parties.

The fact of deliberately not showing too much kindness to a person who has a problem so that the person will start to solve their own problem

 

[Maxjohan]

Tough Love :
Another version of "being cruel to be kind". To show somebody some tough love today will save them heartache in the future but may cause a small amount of upset for the reciever immediately after the "Tough Love" has been dispensed. They would suffer more if you let them get on with their life with no interference from third parties.

The fact of deliberately not showing too much kindness to a person who has a problem so that the person will start to solve their own problem

Call it whatever. We don't do this tough LOVE b.s. in sweden. And probably most of Europe. We show compassion, empathy and try to help out in a real way. What is this tough love shit??

Nothing but B.S. to bully people and being mean. Try to help in a real way instead. By giving real advice.

 

[Newpollz]

Call it whatever. We don't do this tough LOVE b.s. in sweden. And probably most of Europe. We show compassion, empathy and try to help out in a real way. What is this tough love shit??

Nothing but B.S. to bully people and being mean. Try to help in a real way instead. By giving real advice.

Everyone is trying to help strangers in their own way. This is what makes this forum great, you should really stick around.

 

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[Delmania]

Everyone is trying to help strangers in their own way. This is what makes this forum great, you should really stick around.

This isn't the military, where drill sergeants need to break down recruits to turn them into effective soldiers.

Tough love only works on certain people, in certain circumstances. Even then, it's far less effective than empathizing and active listening.

 

[Newpollz]

This isn't the military, where drill sergeants need to break down recruits to turn them into effective soldiers.

Tough love only works on certain people, in certain circumstances. Even then, it's far less effective than empathizing and active listening.

No, I believe your analogy is better suited to the corporate world. As for tough love, if you say that tough love only works on certain people, in certain circumstances that means it was worth a shot right?

 

[Crissco]

]

I did a research project a few years back and found that practically every single "great" person in any field suffered this same thing. From Beethoven to Mozart to Abraham Lincoln and dozens and dozens of others. They would cycle up, become incredibly creative, inspired, whatever you want to call it, and they would crash shortly after -- and crash hard. The one thing they all had in common during this period is that they weren't taking care of themselves physically and nutritionally.

In todays world that's called being bipolar - Mozart and Lincon where "claimed" to be bipolar. But I have always said if it wasn't for the people are "functional bipolar's" the world wouldn't be where it is today.

 

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[Dream&Achieve]

Great coaching. /sarcasm

Seek first to understand THEN to be understood.

@JT388

I was in the same boat some 13 some odd years ago.

What I learned is that these feelings you're feeling -- depression, loneliness, "anxiety" -- these are all physiological and mental states we put ourselves in. It's not something that happens to you -- it's something you create/do to yourself.

If I can give you something immediate to make you feel better straight away it's to work out and start eating healthier every single day.

Get your vitamins and minerals (especially D if you're hitting the winter months). Get enough water (half your body weight in ounces per day). Your physiology needs to support your psychology.

As an entrepreneur your brain runs a lot faster and hotter than most people's and it depletes vitamins, minerals, everything MUCH faster than the average person.

I did a research project a few years back and found that practically every single "great" person in any field suffered this same thing. From Beethoven to Mozart to Abraham Lincoln and dozens and dozens of others. They would cycle up, become incredibly creative, inspired, whatever you want to call it, and they would crash shortly after -- and crash hard. The one thing they all had in common during this period is that they weren't taking care of themselves physically and nutritionally.

But beyond that if you're willing to give a book a try: Awaken The Giant Within is the one that pulled me out of that cycle.

And don't be scared to reach out to other forum members. We're all in this thing together.

That is a great way to state things! I've been through depression and have an anxiety disorder, but for one week I decided to eat healthy and run every day. I had never felt so great in my whole life! Now I've cut out lots of candy, all caffeine and pop, and I stay running/working out. Taking care of yourself is a huge factor with anxiety/depression.

 

[JT388]

Wow. Thank you everyone! Your comments have all been so wonderful. The tough love is OK, the compassionate talk is much more appreciated and comforting as many have you have already stated and been.

I'm 18 now, but it all began such a long time ago - I've never had a period in my adulthood where I was just 'normal'. From the start of puberty this entrepreneur life had me, as I grew older, I've felt more and more on my own. It's funny though, the more struggles I read online, the darker and harder I end up feeling, the more I realise something. We are all so much the same. The best Entrepreneurs are the ones in this for reasons beyond getting that BMW and Million Dollar home so soon, because trust me, these luxury things have NEVER made me feel better.

Something I didn't share in my opening post. The number #1 thing that is driving me is my Loneliness - In my early weeks of starting up my online business, I had not left my home in a week, I saw nobody. One morning I got one of those charity door knocks from an eye healing organisation seeking money, funnily I was 17 then, the guy wasn't legally able to take my donation, however, he continued to just want to talk to me, it was a hot day, and he asked if I could fill up his water bottle for him, so I did. Why he chose to stay and talk to me, especially on a day I felt incredibly alone.. It's the universe telling me to not be so scared of all you wonderful humans.