How do I tell my family that I make my own decisions?

[RisingStars]

Hello,

I've grown so much since I was introduced to the fastlane forum and start reading books like TMF , Rich Dad Poor Dad, Delievering Happiness and so on.

Since this is my last year of school I get a lot of pressure from family members on what to do next.
I respect all of them and I have the true belief that they all try to give me their best advice but I dont want to go the traditional road.

I've always told them for the last months I dont know what I want to do, I still do "research" but in reality I inside of me, know what I want to do.

Its part of beeing an entrepreneur to make your own decisions, but how should I tell my loved ones that I make my own decisions for my future.

It stresses me out that my grandmother ALWAYS talks about HER future plans for MY life, just like my parents and other people in my family.

My question is basically how I can politely say that I do what I think is right, not someone else?
I dont want to hurt the relationship with my family if possible, even tho I am willing to do this if there is no other way around.


Ps: Of cause this will only matter if I can provide for myself and housing.
I wont sit in my parents basement, telling them how smart I am and let them provide for me while I pursue my "entrepreneurial career"

Thanks in advance for potential answers.

 

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[Get Right]

If you look deeper the real question is probably asked best to yourself "Do you believe you can do it?"

I sense a little fear which makes perfect sense. Convince yourself first. Worry about others judgement later (or never).

 

[Guest34764]

There will never really be an easy way to put this.(I'll have to be brutal)

I'm In my Sophmore year and I'm already getting resistance from a few family members.

This Is what you have to remember.It's your LIFE.

Sorry to say but your grandmother Is at the end of her life.She won't see your success for another 40-50 years (probably).So what does her judgement matter to you?Same with other family members.Also, take In account those who want to blueprint your life are usually the ones who are unsuccessful.

Being an entrepreneur will be tough.So tough that In some instances you'll have to make the biggest decision In your life.This roadblock you're facing Is a bump.It's not a mountain, It's not a hill, It's a bump.

You don't need someone to tell you how to live your life.It's yours, not your grandmother's.

If you think what you're doing right now Is right, then F*cking go for it.Don't stress over the little things.

If you are making a lot of money right now then slam down that damn paycheck and show them you're better off.

Anyways I'm ranting a bit because I face these issues too.

Hoped I helped and again sorry for putting It so bluntly but you have to remember It's your damn life, not theirs.Be tough and assertive when you tell them.Be confident about your decisions and other's will feel comfortable with It too.

 

[PatricianCat]

Ps: Of cause this will only matter if I can provide for myself and housing.
I wont sit in my parents basement, telling them how smart I am and let them provide for me while I pursue my "entrepreneurial career"

Thanks in advance for potential answers.

Graduate. Get a job. Move out. Pay your bills. Start your Fastlane Road.

It is your life. I went through the same thing not too long ago. How did I tell everybody I wanted to do something different?

I showed them.

Show them you want to start a business not with words, but with action.

Don't try to convice them what is good for you with words, show them.

Get a job to pay bills and create your fastlane.

Don't give in to pressures. Start now. Get a jump on your fastlane.

It's time to make the most important decision of your life.

Are you an action taker or an action faker?

Now get out there are show the world what you are made of.

 

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[Andrew Ward]

If you are independent and supporting yourself then family members can tell you what to do until they are blue in the face, it doesn't matter because they have no control over you.

If they have control over you right now (e.g. housing, financial support, etc) then remove your reliance on it and you will be free to make your own decisions without them being able to parade around the threat of withdrawing support.

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk

 

[RisingStars]

If you look deeper the real question is probably asked best to yourself "Do you believe you can do it?"

I sense a little fear which makes perfect sense. Convince yourself first. Worry about others judgement later (or never).

Thanks for your answer. How would you go about fighting this fear?
You are absolutely right, I felt the fear when I was typing this post.
Basically I think my plan involves many fears:
I plan to move to a bigger city
--> its far away from friends&family, will I be lonely?
--> will I found affordable housing?
--> will my business make enaugh money to support myself at this point? if not will I find a job?
--> if I move in with roommates what if my inventory gets robbed?

I know I sound like a worry person, but I am more a planning person. I want to make sure everything will work out.

There will never really be an easy way to put this.(I'll have to be brutal)

I'm In my Sophmore year and I'm already getting resistance from a few family members.

This Is what you have to remember.It's your LIFE.

Sorry to say but your grandmother Is at the end of her life.She won't see your success for another 40-50 years (probably).So what does her judgement matter to you?Same with other family members.Also, take In account those who want to blueprint your life are usually the ones who are unsuccessful.

Being an entrepreneur will be tough.So tough that In some instances you'll have to make the biggest decision In your life.This roadblock you're facing Is a bump.It's not a mountain, It's not a hill, It's a bump.

You don't need someone to tell you how to live your life.It's yours, not your grandmother's.

If you think what you're doing right now Is right, then F*cking go for it.Don't stress over the little things.

If you are making a lot of money right now then slam down that damn paycheck and show them you're better off.

Anyways I'm ranting a bit because I face these issues too.

Hoped I helped and again sorry for putting It so bluntly but you have to remember It's your damn life, not theirs.Be tough and assertive when you tell them.Be confident about your decisions and other's will feel comfortable with It too.

Thanks for your help. You are right this is my life, but I want to make my grandmother happy for the rest of her life.
Maybe its impossible, then so be it, but I am searching for away to not make her sad.

Graduate. Get a job. Move out. Pay your bills. Start your Fastlane Road.

It is your life. I went through the same thing not too long ago. How did I tell everybody I wanted to do something different?

I showed them.

Show them you want to start a business not with words, but with action.

Don't try to convice them what is good for you with words, show them.

Get a job to pay bills and create your fastlane.

Don't give in to pressures. Start now. Get a jump on your fastlane.

It's time to make the most important decision of your life.

Are you an action taker or an action faker?

Now get out there are show the world what you are made of.

Thanks man, you helped me a lot today already. Super motivational post.
I already started a business, but it is not making enaugh to support my living (yet).

Since you said you went through the same thing, I hope that it worked out for your and I wish you the best of success.

If you are independent and supporting yourself then family members can tell you what to do until they are blue in the face, it doesn't matter because they have no control over you.

If they have control over you right now (e.g. housing, financial support, etc) then remove your reliance on it and you will be free to make your own decisions without them being able to parade around the threat of withdrawing support.

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk

Thank you. Yes you are right and I am confident that I am able to be independent after school, but I dont want to piss of my family in the process of fulfilling my dream (if this is possible)

 

[kingspoint.club]

As third generation dentist, I had to come to grips on what makes me happy even though I am engaged in the family profession of dentistry. You have to set boundaries with your loved ones and realize you are unique, have your own needs and talents. I have my own dental practice and practice more modernly than my father does 40 minutes north of me in the same state. We come together on things we can agree on and those things we cannot agree on we at least can respect our differing positions. My interests are entrepreneurial ventures to bring technology to dentistry from medicine. I enjoy marketing which when I worked at my father's practice was something he did not appreciate to attract new patients. Some of my talent went into the creation of our new website: www.exceptionalsmiles.dental. You cannot live someone else's life only your own. Be careful with the advice you receive along the way even if it is from family. Cheers...

 

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[Ninjakid]

My family tried the same thing on me. Once it became obvious that I was 100% committed to my own thing and I was only going to do what I wanted, they gave up.

 

[Mr.B]

It stresses me out that my grandmother ALWAYS talks about HER future plans for MY life, just like my parents and other people in my family.

Please keep in mind that your grandmother is coming from a place of love. She wants what is best for you and is concerned about the path that you are on. She (most likely) doesn't understand how much the world has changed in regards to work and possibly never will. I know my grandma doesn't! So I just reassure her often that everything is going well and that my business is successful. It has taken more than a decade to get to a point where she isn't worried, but that's okay, I'm patient with her...

I dont want to hurt the relationship with my family if possible, even tho I am willing to do this if there is no other way around.

Why would you damage your relationship with your family just because they see things differently to you? Love them, respect them, thank them for their concern and then go out there and do something wonderful.

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." - Marcus Aurelius.

Change the way you receive their comments. Rather than imagining that they are attacking you, realize that they are coming from a place of love and thank them for caring about you.

"Peace - it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." - Unknown.

You need to be at peace with yourself and the choices that you are making. This isn't about raging against the man who is trying to hold you down, this is about living. Family is important, do what you can to protect and support those who love you. No amount of money can fill the hole that will be left in your heart if you damage your relationships with your family over this...

"You don't get frustrated because of events, you get frustrated because of your beliefs." - Albert Ellis.

You doubt yourself. You are scared. That's okay. You are young. You have lots of time to grow. Be good to yourself.

All the best.

 

[Writer]

Hello,

I've grown so much since I was introduced to the fastlane forum and start reading books like TMF , Rich Dad Poor Dad, Delievering Happiness and so on.

Since this is my last year of school I get a lot of pressure from family members on what to do next.
I respect all of them and I have the true belief that they all try to give me their best advice but I dont want to go the traditional road.

I've always told them for the last months I dont know what I want to do, I still do "research" but in reality I inside of me, know what I want to do.

Its part of beeing an entrepreneur to make your own decisions, but how should I tell my loved ones that I make my own decisions for my future.

It stresses me out that my grandmother ALWAYS talks about HER future plans for MY life, just like my parents and other people in my family.

My question is basically how I can politely say that I do what I think is right, not someone else?
I dont want to hurt the relationship with my family if possible, even tho I am willing to do this if there is no other way around.


Ps: Of cause this will only matter if I can provide for myself and housing.
I wont sit in my parents basement, telling them how smart I am and let them provide for me while I pursue my "entrepreneurial career"

Thanks in advance for potential answers.

If family = parents then
Do whatever you want
Else if family = wife then
Be honest
Fight
Yell at each other
Make peace
Make love
Support each other after a decision is made
Own the world
End If

 

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[Supa]

Those headwinds can be really tough especially as long as you live at home with your parents. One first step can be to move out and be able to provide for yourself, as long as you live at home you are dependent on your parents, when you are able to provide for yourself you can do what the f*ck you want to do, yes they will try to convince you to do this and that at every family dinner, but guess what, it's your decision. And if they love you they will somehow understand it or at least accept it.

Never forget that they don't mean this shit bad or try to do harm to you, they just don't know it other than the Slowlane conditioning taught them over the years. You could try to explain it, and maybe it will work, but don't waste your energy and time with explaining yourself, it will take from your motivation.

 

[Dwee]

Don't tell them anything.

Show them.

 

[kingspoint.club]

My family tried the same thing on me. Once it became obvious that I was 100% committed to my own thing and I was only going to do what I wanted, they gave up.

There will be a cooling off period, however, either they will come back in your life or once you are stable in your career path making great strides you need to make an effort to come back into their life. I would not lose sleep over this as it happens all the time.

 

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[Ninjakid]

There will be a cooling off period, however, either they will come back in your life or once you are stable in your career path making great strides you need to make an effort to come back into their life. I would not lose sleep over this as it happens all the time.

I'm still close with my family. Some of them were just genuinely concerned that I wasn't doing anything with my life. But once they saw that I was serious, they decided to let me do my thing, even if they didn't understand it.

 

[ExCubeCommando]

Hello,

It stresses me out that my grandmother ALWAYS talks about HER future plans for MY life, just like my parents and other people in my family.

Thanks in advance for potential answers.

It's 6am at my home, and reading this first thing in the morning without my first cup of coffee yet, but reading this was like getting an instant slap in the face.

THIS is why we're here! If your grandmother, or anyone else's relative who is 'planning our future' had accomplished anything of great value in their lives, would they be concerned about how to plan another person's future? Not to disparage anyone's relatives, but really, have they ever did anything to think outside the box?

I used to be a disk jockey, and stuck it out for several years. Anyone who's done this, will tell you about the low pay, unless you make it big. Finally, I got a higher paying corporate job, but never really liked it, even though some relatives were happy to find out I got a good, 'secure' job. Once I started seeing the layoffs coming, and knowing my head would be on the chopping block, I'd decided to start my own business.

Now I'm hear to read other's success stories, and be reminded I need to reach out further, and refuse to be stuffed into someone else's mold.

 

[Blue1214]

In my experience , you show them by doing.

When you make progress everyone will shut up and let it be.

You don't show someone you're ready to be on your own by telling them , you show them by being on your own and surviving.

You don't need to beg someone to believe you're ready to do anything man. If they see you do it that's proof enough .

Your grandma will get over it too.

Just make sure YOU can walk the talk.

(Ok that was redundant but you get the point)

 

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[Vincent_Vega]

If you are independent and supporting yourself then family members can tell you what to do until they are blue in the face, it doesn't matter because they have no control over you.

If they have control over you right now (e.g. housing, financial support, etc) then remove your reliance on it and you will be free to make your own decisions without them being able to parade around the threat of withdrawing support.

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk

100%.

As long as you are living at home, your parents will always try to influence your path and tell you what to do. But if you're living on your own and don't rely on their financial support anymore, it will stop (or at least become way less).

 

[kingspoint.club]

I'm still close with my family. Some of them were just genuinely concerned that I wasn't doing anything with my life. But once they saw that I was serious, they decided to let me do my thing, even if they didn't understand it.

Ninjakid, Have we established what you would like to do? Please elaborate on your future plans...

 

[AndrewNC]

How do I tell my family that I make my own decisions?
.

We can't make the decision for you...

 

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