Need advice on approaching a woman...

[FastNAwesome]

Congrats man for trying.

"oh, I'm seeing someone already"

Fair enough. You couldn't know that. If she wasn't seeing someone then maybe she would accept. But that doesn't matter. Remember important thing - that it's a numbers game too.

and I was mid-sentence then said something like "... want to do something just casual.."

Ok, that didn't sound well but it's just part of the learning process, next time you'll know better. We've all said something that came off weird at one point or another

I've raced motocross

That alone is badass. And being a successful businessman is badass.

"Yeah... I've been pretty busy with my other business, I have a product I'm launching soon so I've been stressed and working all day and night"

This is a bit too much to say to a girl you've just met. What would have been enough is:

"Yeah... I've been pretty busy

Reason for this is subtle communication that happens besides the logical facts you said to her. You see, many times guys will feel they're not worthy of a girls attention by themselves, so they will mention their businesses, achievements and success of all kinds.

I know you probably didn't mean it like that, but that's how it comes off, especially as girls hear things like that all the time. Guys trying to impress them with this and that, throwing all their achievements at her feet without even being asked to do so.

A man should remain a bit mysterious. Always. Let her wonder who you are. Let her find out, little by little. And never become a read book.

Now that I have the first time experience and am ready to do this again! I know I need to not think about the situation/task at hand and relax A LOT more and things will go better.

That's it man! You will get better at it. You will rock at this just like you rock at other areas of life. You are an achiever, and this is simple another area of life that you just haven't tackled yet.

Feel free to PM me for any advice or questions.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Freedom61]

In case you didn't know, that's not code for "try harder." That means "I decline." And for a valid reason. She has something decent going on for her and she's not going screw it up over you.

Never ask a girl this again, especially if she claims to already be in a relationship. It's just straight up sleazy. Once again, don't be that guy.

I didn't "try harder" nor try to be sleazy, I literally had no idea of what to say because I had never heard an answer like that, so for some reason I kept talking, I can certainly say I had no control over what I was saying at that point.

She might think you're cute, she probably thinks it's cool to see you when she's working. Maybe she's flirting with you. Does that mean she wants anything more? No.
Too often guys assume that because a girl acts nice and is maybe flirty that she automatically wants to date him, or sleep with him or whatever. Don't be that guy.
Don't be too perplexed, and don't take it personally. There's nothing wrong with asking her the way you did. You wanted to know, now you got your answer. You don't need to have regrets.

The reason I thought she would have been interested in something more than just talking was based on 2 facts:
1. She complimented my haircut when I was 40'+ away over a loud speaker that can be heard throughout the lobby area when talking to someone in the drive up
2. She went out of her way to say something. As mentioned by another member on this thread, women receive more than enough attention when they work a job that deals with people all the time, for a lady to actually go out of her way and potentially jeopardize her job would usually mean she's interested.

 

[Freedom61]

Congrats man for trying.



Fair enough. You couldn't know that. If she wasn't seeing someone then maybe she would accept. But that doesn't matter. Remember important thing - that it's a numbers game too.

Indeed it is, I'm sure I'll meet many more when I move in Jan. since my younger bro's gf has lots of cute friends

Ok, that didn't sound well but it's just part of the learning process, next time you'll know better. We've all said something that came off weird at one point or another

Live & learn.

That alone is badass. And being a successful businessman is badass.

I agree! Even though I feel like I haven't accomplished anything yet except for the most valuable knowledge in the world (the fastlane).

This is a bit too much to say to a girl you've just met. What would have been enough is:

Reason for this is subtle communication that happens besides the logical facts you said to her. You see, many times guys will feel they're not worthy of a girls attention by themselves, so they will mention their businesses, achievements and success of all kinds.

I know you probably didn't mean it like that, but that's how it comes off, especially as girls hear things like that all the time. Guys trying to impress them with this and that, throwing all their achievements at her feet without even being asked to do so.

A man should remain a bit mysterious. Always. Let her wonder who you are. Let her find out, little by little. And never become a read book.

I definitely see what you're saying by not becoming a read book, keep them wanting more. I didn't mean to flaunt my accomplishments or anything like that, because I still feel like I haven't accomplished anything yet, but even when I do that's not the right way to start a personal (by personal I mean not business oriented) conversation with a woman.

That's it man! You will get better at it. You will rock at this just like you rock at other areas of life. You are an achiever, and this is simple another area of life that you just haven't tackled yet.

Feel free to PM me for any advice or questions.

Everything takes practice Thanks for all the advice!

 

[Andrewski]

Gj for mustering up the courage to do that. But it's also possible you had a noticeably really nice hair cut and she wasn't flirting lol

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Freedom61]

Gj for mustering up the courage to do that. But it's also possible you had a noticeably really nice hair cut and she wasn't flirting lol

Apparently that was the case lol.

 

[thunder_god]

Props for having the balls to do it, most guys are cowards and can't muster up the courage to ask girls out especially hired guns. With that being said, hired guns are a tough cookie to read. Sometimes its hard to know whether they are really just being nice or if they are really interested in you. With more practice and experience under your belt, you will be able to intuitively pick it up.

Keep practising and overtime you will get the hang of it. Good luck!

 

[Supa]

Well the day finally arrived! Yesterday (Friday) I went to the bank around 5:30pm, rolled up to the drive up and she wasn't working at the drive up, before I press the button to open up door to the sending device, I took a look over into the lobby and I saw her! Thankfully there were 2 other cars there at that time, so the girl working the drive up was preoccupied when I just drove straight through and back into the parking lot. I parked and endorsed the check I had and wrote on a sticky note...

Let's go out sometime
777-777-7777

and in I walked with the check. As I walked from the lobby, she was over at the counter where you fill out deposit slips organizing things since they were closing soon and as I was walking towards her she greeted me saying "hey, haven't seen you for a while!" and I handed her my check & replied back "Yeah... I've been pretty busy with my other business, I have a product I'm launching soon so I've been stressed and working all day and night" as we walked towards the counters/computers. She asked what my business was (I haven an acct there for it but primarily use PayPal) and I told her about it (for those that don't know it's an internet company - teaching people how to start businesses in the industry I'm in in via eBooks/vid courses/biz management doc pkges), and she said back, "oh cool, I recently started a web design business with my dad and it's been really interesting".

I'm pretty sure she said like that, but once I had walked up to the counter my heart rate probably shot to 200 bpm (it was seriously beating harder than I've every experienced - I've raced motocross since I was 8 years old, a truly anaerobic sport where your heart rate hovers around your max the entire duration of a race, and more than any high intensity interval workout I've done) and I kinda lost track of everything and I somehow was able to say something (after she mentioned that) along the lines of "what do you have planned for this weekend?" She replied back "Well tonight I'm probably going to bed because I'm just exhausted but tomorrow I have a bunch of homework..." and I fumbled through my words and I'm pretty sure I said (and not in a calm, cool, confident manner as I should have because I was so nervous) "Well, let's do something, here's my number if you ..." and I practially flicked the sticky note from my sweatshirt's pocket to right in front of her on the counter and she immediately said "oh, I'm seeing someone already" and I was mid-sentence then said something like "... want to do something just casual.." which didn't make an ounce of sense to me and her, then I quickly said, "oh, it's cool.." and she turned the convo around and asked "is there anything else I can help you out with today" as she handed me my receipt and I just asked for the last name that was on my check (so I can write the name down to record the payment in my accting software) and then we said our goodbyes.

I walked out, got into my truck and my heart was still beating a million mph. My mind was just racing and I was definitely not happy with myself for somewhat screwing it up by not saying things in a confident manner. I called up my buddy I had told about this whole thing and told him what happened as I was on my way home. After, when I was driving, I was thinking, "wow, what do I do now? I straight up thought she was into me and I had this". I knew there was no way I could go back home and continue working on my project because my mind was so focused on that, so I went to the gym and worked as hard as I have in months because I wanted to forget about the entire experience. I wear a Polar HR Monitor and even though I maxed out on some reps/lifts, I still don't think my HR was near what it was when I was standing at that counter.

After some time ticked by, later in the night I talked on the phone with my younger bro's gf about it (the ones I'm moving in with in about 1.5 months) and was finally able to calm down. I've since figured out that in a way it was a big weight off my back, because now I know I can leave my current town (where I've lived my entire life) and I don't have any baggage or relationships, etc. that's still here when I move up to Fargo shortly after Christmas. If she would have said yes, and the time comes when for me to leave my current living situation (parents) to pursue my FL biz, the decision would be a mess.

Now that I have the first time experience and am ready to do this again! I know I need to not think about the situation/task at hand and relax A LOT more and things will go better.

Great that you did it. Most women are pretty friendly while rejecting you, as long as you don't come off as a complete idiot.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Ninjakid]

potentially jeopardize her job

That's going a little far. I've never worked in a bank before, but from what I've gathered, I think it's encouraged that the tellers and advisers be friendly to customers. I'm made friends with many of them during my trips to the bank. She's not going to get fired over something like that. In fact, it keeps you coming back and investing in their bank so it's a win for them.

I think most guys would take those as strong signals that a woman's interested, but still bear in mind that women sometimes show signals of interest with no intention of actually acting on it. Just a heads up so you don't let it crush you next time.

 

[CoolAV8R]

That alone is badass. And being a successful businessman is badass

Yes...This! Brilliantly said, my man!

Tipping my hat to @Freedom61 for finally making the move. No worries...your someone is out there somewhere!

Often times, we get focused on the one thing and the best thing is around the corner.

With the wings straight and level...keep on flying!

 

[Freedom61]

Yes...This! Brilliantly said, my man!

Tipping my hat to @Freedom61 for finally making the move. No worries...your someone is out there somewhere!

Often times, we get focused on the one thing and the best thing is around the corner.

With the wings straight and level...keep on flying!

Awesome words, thanks man!

It's a bummer, but as you said "we get focused on the one thing and the best thing is around the corner". I'll be keeping my eyes a bit more open for the opportunity to chat with an attractive lady now that I know it's not as hard as I once thought. In the mean time, I have an overwhelming list of work to do before the end of December when I'm moving!

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Ubermensch]

The fish are not the catch. You are the catch, not the fish.

Like Kanye said: You gonna be pretty a little while; I'm gonna be rich forever.

Or, more succinctly:

 

[WriteItDown]

I'm thinking if this girl said that compliment, she's probably into me and I wouldn't mind getting to know her, so why not ask her out?

This is actually pretty poor thinking. Sorry to say it. Since she works in a customer service role, just because she is friendly doesn't mean that she is into you. And just because she notices a change in a very regular customer, does not mean that she is into that customer. Also, your comment about her not being into you because of your bank account balance is also really outdated and sexist thinking. But hey, you're 24 and you still have a lot to learn in this department, so let's breeze past that.

All of that being said, you miss 100% of the shots that you don't take. If you are into her, then ask her out. I think both male and female singles worry more about what the other person thinks and how the other person feels and do not analyze well enough their own feelings. Are you interested in her ONLY because you think she might be interested in you? Really take some time to dig deeper into how you actually feel about it.

But yes, the worse thing that can happen is she says no. What women are really looking for is a guy who is willing to put himself out there. It's about that comfort zone again like you were explaining about, having lived in the same city your whole life. Some of the most worthwhile experiences in your life happen just outside of your comfort zone.

So, don't approach this by saying "hey, you complemented my haircut last time, so I think you might be interested in me, and well...I might be interested in you too."

Throw a complement her way as well. And then just ask her if she would like to go out some time. It's that easy. If she says no or brings up a boyfriend that you've never heard of before just smile and say "no worries" and walk out as confident as ever. And then (and this is really important) do not let yourself be awkward around her later on. Ultimately, if someone isn't interested, they aren't interested. That does not decrease your value in any way and shouldn't make you feel badly about yourself. Remember that there were people that you also weren't interested in. Not because there was anything wrong with them, but because you just weren't interested. Just because someone isn't intrigued by the value you possess does not mean that value is any less valuable.


Ok, I've said enough.....I'm going now.

Good luck!

 

[Ray Paradise]

Most that read this will not have any idea who I am...I've been a member for a few months but have not spent much time on the forum. Here is my intro thread https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/co...u-mj-for-this-awesome-book.62698/#post-485533

Short intro, I'm 24 years old, currently own a semi-slowlane business (lawn/landscape/snow, started in 2011, grad'd from college w/ a Horticulture degree in 2013) and I own one fastlane business (launched one digital info product last month, more on the way, and planning to create a couple apps after that) I'm extremely close to selling everything in the slowlane business, & move to a new town to continue pursuing my fastlane endeavors - I've been in the same city my entire life and now I'm quickly realizing this is almost a quarter century. Plus, if I'm away from the "safety net" of my parents' house, extended family, it would be a big factor in driving major action ... but that's a discussion for a different thread.

I don't belong to many forums other than the one I advertise my digital products on so I figured I'd put myself out there with asking this question, is it bad that I'd like to see the answers/get advice from those on here than my "friends" in person?

So last week I went to my bank to make a deposit and the teller (an attractive girl that's around my age who has worked there for about the last year - whenever I go there we chat a bit whether it's in the drive-up or if I walk in) ran my deposit, and after sending my receipt back to me she had said "Hey, nice haircut!" (I changed up how I had my haircut about 1.5 weeks ago.)
I was in the drive-up about 30' away (tough to see? It's not like I dyed my hair blue lol) from where she was so I thought this was definitely out of characteristic from our normal convos and I don't get compliments often..... so I fumbled my words and said "Oh thanks! I love it!" and then I don't remember exactly what was said after that, probably something like "Have a great weekend!" .. "You too!"

With all that said, she didn't see my accounts and see 7 figures in them and all the sudden say that, my acct. balances aren't even close to that! I sacrificed having a "comfortable" salary this year in order by hiring more employees to replace myself so I could spend more time pursuing my fastlane business after I read TMF last winter and changed my mindset on business for the better, but my employees probably have more money than I do (figuratively). I've spent 90% of my time working the past few years, I really don't remember the last official "date" I went on, if ever actually now that I think back to even high school, and I've never had an official gf. I'm thinking if this girl said that compliment, she's probably into me and I wouldn't mind getting to know her, so why not ask her out? After reading some threads tonight especially MJ's "How bad do you want it? Enough to go "all in?" I want to get out of my comfort zone and try it out! Ideas are worthless without execution!
The worst thing that could happen is she says "no" or "I'm seeing someone", etc. I just don't know exactly what to say since the only time I see her is when she's working.

Thanks in advance for any insight.

I read through most of this thread and appreciate what it took for you to approach the woman in the bank...

In terms of gaining the skill and confidence to do it over and over again (so that you can speak with whatever women you choose with confidence, in a calm way, it comes down to several learnable communication skills. Let em know if you want to chat more about these...

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Delmania]

"Well, let's do something, here's my number if you ..." and I practially flicked the sticky note from my sweatshirt's pocket to right in front of her on the counter and she immediately said "oh, I'm seeing someone already" and I was mid-sentence then said something like "... want to do something just casual.." which didn't make an ounce of sense to me and her, then I quickly said, "oh, it's cool.." and she turned the convo around and asked "is there anything else I can help you out with today" as she handed me my receipt and I just asked for the last name that was on my check (so I can write the name down to record the payment in my accting software) and then we said our goodbyes.

Great! You've been rejected and survived. Now, go out, talk to 10 people, aiming for 10 rejections. The more you hear no, the more resilient you get.

 

[FastNAwesome]

Great! You've been rejected and survived. Now, go out, talk to 10 people, aiming for 10 rejections. The more you hear no, the more resilient you get.

While this would certainly make one's skin thicker, I'd like to add a few comments:

You've been rejected

This is not a useful term. Guy asked the girl out, and at that point in time, she was not available/interested and she communicated that in a polite way.

To think of it as rejection results in:

a) You never even considering to talk to her again. And things change over time like you wouldn't believe. Many girls who at first told me "no", later on told me "yes" or even pursued me. Sometimes she really has a boyfriend. Other times, you change and become attractive in her eyes. Or she changes. Many options.

It's normal that guys feelings are sometimes too much affected by girl's YES or NO. She says YES and you feel like a Casanova. She says NO and you feel like a reject.

A guy needs to take control over his own feelings. How else are you gonna come and make some waves in the sea of her feelings?

b) You thinking of yourself as inadequate or mistaken in one way or another. And since it's a numbers game even for the best, you're bound to get quite a few no's. Because she's taken. Or you're not her type. Or it wasn't the right moment. Or she's shy in front of her friends. Or she prefers to meet someone as a person first. Countless reasons, many of which have NOTHING to do with you. The same girl maybe would tell you "yes" if you met in some other setting.

But decide to frame these as "rejections", and soon all these "no thanks" will pile up, likely outnumber the "yes" answers. What happens then is that a guy, based on his own self-imposed criteria of what's rejection, keeps reinforcing that he's getting "rejected", and soon enough feels really bad about himself.

And when he tries to meet some girl again, but now with lowered confidence and self-esteem, he's even more likely to get a "no thanks", which will further assure him that he's no good. Or that girls are "bad" and just want "bad guys", money or whatever.

Now, go out, talk to 10 people, aiming for 10 rejections.

This kind of exercise certainly has it's place in the right context, but here it is not complete (no mention of the kind of rejections expected, and that you should always approach people in a respectful manner if you're hoping for a good outcome - which is not guaranteed even then).

We all need some positive feedback in our lives.

For anyone just starting out, I'd recommend - go for the positive experiences.

Just being a regular dude (let alone anything more), and being around people, socializing, going out, having friends,
and more likely than not, there will be girls that are interested in you.

Being good at "cold approach" is a great addition to that.

And if you've decided to approach someone, do it with positive attitude.

 

[Freedom61]

The fish are not the catch. You are the catch, not the fish.

Like Kanye said: You gonna be pretty a little while; I'm gonna be rich forever.

Or, more succinctly:

Been a while since I've been on here, been busy working among everything else.

Love that quote from Scarface. Couldn't watch that whole podcast because it sounded like a robot. But I've learned quite a bit recently that I am the catch and it's a great feeling! Couldn't agree more with Kanye's quote also.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Freedom61]

While this would certainly make one's skin thicker, I'd like to add a few comments:



This is not a useful term. Guy asked the girl out, and at that point in time, she was not available/interested and she communicated that in a polite way.

To think of it as rejection results in:

a) You never even considering to talk to her again. And things change over time like you wouldn't believe. Many girls who at first told me "no", later on told me "yes" or even pursued me. Sometimes she really has a boyfriend. Other times, you change and become attractive in her eyes. Or she changes. Many options.

It's normal that guys feelings are sometimes too much affected by girl's YES or NO. She says YES and you feel like a Casanova. She says NO and you feel like a reject.

A guy needs to take control over his own feelings. How else are you gonna come and make some waves in the sea of her feelings?

b) You thinking of yourself as inadequate or mistaken in one way or another. And since it's a numbers game even for the best, you're bound to get quite a few no's. Because she's taken. Or you're not her type. Or it wasn't the right moment. Or she's shy in front of her friends. Or she prefers to meet someone as a person first. Countless reasons, many of which have NOTHING to do with you. The same girl maybe would tell you "yes" if you met in some other setting.

But decide to frame these as "rejections", and soon all these "no thanks" will pile up, likely outnumber the "yes" answers. What happens then is that a guy, based on his own self-imposed criteria of what's rejection, keeps reinforcing that he's getting "rejected", and soon enough feels really bad about himself.

And when he tries to meet some girl again, but now with lowered confidence and self-esteem, he's even more likely to get a "no thanks", which will further assure him that he's no good. Or that girls are "bad" and just want "bad guys", money or whatever.



This kind of exercise certainly has it's place in the right context, but here it is not complete (no mention of the kind of rejections expected, and that you should always approach people in a respectful manner if you're hoping for a good outcome - which is not guaranteed even then).

We all need some positive feedback in our lives.

For anyone just starting out, I'd recommend - go for the positive experiences.

Just being a regular dude (let alone anything more), and being around people, socializing, going out, having friends,
and more likely than not, there will be girls that are interested in you.

Being good at "cold approach" is a great addition to that.

And if you've decided to approach someone, do it with positive attitude.

Awesome stuff & great info! Like many things, mindset is really everything!

 

[Freedom61]

I figured I'd make a quick update on this thread since it's been a couple months since all this.

I sold my slowlane business last month (way too low but I wanted out so it was worth it) to pursue my fastlane endeavors, moved to Fargo, ND (I think I mentioned this earlier on in this thread that I was planning to). My parents went on vacation on Feb 13 for 10 days and I came back home to watch the house & their dog. Saturday the 13th in the evening after dropping my stuff off at my parent's place, I went to the local Whole Foods to get some groceries and while I was in the produce section, out of my right peripheral, I noticed a dark haired girl walking into the store, I glanced over and realized "holy sh!t, it's her", the girl from the bank. And better yet she was with a guy - I'm guessing the guy she had said she was seeing? Not that it matters at all, but it felt a tad bit awkward but it didn't phase me as much as it would have had it been a couple years ago & I didn't have the confidence I have now (going to the gym everyday since I moved has helped!).

I noticed as I glanced over, she did too & we saw each other for a quick millisecond, and that was it. I was just about done with the produce I wanted and journeyed on to the other sections of the store and never saw her again. This was the first time I saw her since I asked her out at the bank, haven't been to that branch since. Since my fastlane business is 100% digital at the moment, I hardly go to the bank at all.

As for any other interactions with women, that's nonexistent as the entire month of January I spent 70% of my time I was awake working, 25% of trying to get rid of my slowlane biz meeting with buyers, etc. and the other 5% was at the gym to get rid of stress. The gym we joined (my younger bro, his gf, & I) is plenty full of girls around my age (Fargo seems to be a big college town), as I get myself into better & better shape I'll have to muster up the confidence to walk up to a girl and strike up a convo. Just need to make it through the next couple rough months of getting my biz to earn solid monthly revenue. I know the nerves of walking up to a girl would certainly cancel out the nerves of financial stress

 

[HyperFocus]

I figured I'd make a quick update on this thread since it's been a couple months since all this.

I sold my slowlane business last month (way too low but I wanted out so it was worth it) to pursue my fastlane endeavors, moved to Fargo, ND (I think I mentioned this earlier on in this thread that I was planning to). My parents went on vacation on Feb 13 for 10 days and I came back home to watch the house & their dog. Saturday the 13th in the evening after dropping my stuff off at my parent's place, I went to the local Whole Foods to get some groceries and while I was in the produce section, out of my right peripheral, I noticed a dark haired girl walking into the store, I glanced over and realized "holy sh!t, it's her", the girl from the bank. And better yet she was with a guy - I'm guessing the guy she had said she was seeing? Not that it matters at all, but it felt a tad bit awkward but it didn't phase me as much as it would have had it been a couple years ago & I didn't have the confidence I have now (going to the gym everyday since I moved has helped!).

I noticed as I glanced over, she did too & we saw each other for a quick millisecond, and that was it. I was just about done with the produce I wanted and journeyed on to the other sections of the store and never saw her again. This was the first time I saw her since I asked her out at the bank, haven't been to that branch since. Since my fastlane business is 100% digital at the moment, I hardly go to the bank at all.

As for any other interactions with women, that's nonexistent as the entire month of January I spent 70% of my time I was awake working, 25% of trying to get rid of my slowlane biz meeting with buyers, etc. and the other 5% was at the gym to get rid of stress. The gym we joined (my younger bro, his gf, & I) is plenty full of girls around my age (Fargo seems to be a big college town), as I get myself into better & better shape I'll have to muster up the confidence to walk up to a girl and strike up a convo. Just need to make it through the next couple rough months of getting my biz to earn solid monthly revenue. I know the nerves of walking up to a girl would certainly cancel out the nerves of financial stress

Hey bro,

When I was younger 19-22, I was focussed on how to get better with girls. I read all the books there were and went full practice mode- day game, night game. I on average kissed 3-4 girls on a night. Had sex with many 10s.

This might sound cool but you need to realize this:
1. I dont get any gratification out of it anymore.
2. Picking up a girl is different from having a long term relationship with a quality girl.
3. PUA stuff is short-term gratification.

You can put that time into other forms of communication, self development or marketing.
If u still want to become better read below for some basics:

Just like in advertisement (attention-interest-desire etc) you have logical steps that u need to take with a girl.

The steps are
Attraction - Comfort - Seduction

You can describe the first step as having the girl respect your position as a man. You need to learn to notice when a girl finds you attractive. You can create attraction by acting distant, teasing her, being manly/confident. When a girl is just flirting it doesnt mean she already finds u attractive.

Step 2. Comfort is easy for many nice guys. They make the girl feel comfy by letting her freely talk her mind, making her laugh, trust you etc. if you make her feel comfortable at the start she will see you as a friend/brother. If you do step 1 well that wont happen.

Step 3. Seduction might be hard for shy guys without experience but it actually is very simple. You can touch her during the convo while keep talking about the regular stuff. Touch and massage her hand(my secret). Then notice when she wants to kiss and go from there.

You have many different styles to choose from dependent on how you look and like to behave. For example I used to act very cocky and dominant and some other experts go funny guy or cool guy or some nice/sweet.
Nice and sweet is the hardest to do (I do that now because im sincerely interested in the people I meet and dont care about fckng). Cocky is easiest and works best. Funny can be good but Its risky, it can lower your perceived value quickly. Guys who use the funny thing usually dont have consistent results but they have fun doing it.


There is much more. Stand up straight, dont bend forward when talking trying to let her hear you. Position yourself in the middle of the room(higher value) Dont make long eye contact: either ignore or approach. Make IOI's and check their reaction(indicators of interest) so you know who is approachable and who is not. Be physical quickly so that its easier later on.


I hope this helps. You can send me a pm if you want to know more about your personal situation.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Freedom61]

Hey bro,

When I was younger 19-22, I was focussed on how to get better with girls. I read all the books there were and went full practice mode- day game, night game. I on average kissed 3-4 girls on a night. Had sex with many 10s.

This might sound cool but you need to realize this:
1. I dont get any gratification out of it anymore.
2. Picking up a girl is different from having a long term relationship with a quality girl.
3. PUA stuff is short-term gratification.

You can put that time into other forms of communication, self development or marketing.
If u still want to become better read below for some basics:

Just like in advertisement (attention-interest-desire etc) you have logical steps that u need to take with a girl.

The steps are
Attraction - Comfort - Seduction

You can describe the first step as having the girl respect your position as a man. You need to learn to notice when a girl finds you attractive. You can create attraction by acting distant, teasing her, being manly/confident. When a girl is just flirting it doesnt mean she already finds u attractive.

Step 2. Comfort is easy for many nice guys. They make the girl feel comfy by letting her freely talk her mind, making her laugh, trust you etc. if you make her feel comfortable at the start she will see you as a friend/brother. If you do step 1 well that wont happen.

Step 3. Seduction might be hard for shy guys without experience but it actually is very simple. You can touch her during the convo while keep talking about the regular stuff. Touch and massage her hand(my secret). Then notice when she wants to kiss and go from there.

You have many different styles to choose from dependent on how you look and like to behave. For example I used to act very cocky and dominant and some other experts go funny guy or cool guy or some nice/sweet.
Nice and sweet is the hardest to do (I do that now because im sincerely interested in the people I meet and dont care about fckng). Cocky is easiest and works best. Funny can be good but Its risky, it can lower your perceived value quickly. Guys who use the funny thing usually dont have consistent results but they have fun doing it.


There is much more. Stand up straight, dont bend forward when talking trying to let her hear you. Position yourself in the middle of the room(higher value) Dont make long eye contact: either ignore or approach. Make IOI's and check their reaction(indicators of interest) so you know who is approachable and who is not. Be physical quickly so that its easier later on.


I hope this helps. You can send me a pm if you want to know more about your personal situation.

Thanks for all the insight.
When it comes to any girls I approach that I'm interested in, it's with a long term relationship in mind. I'm not about the instant/short term gratification, that's frankly a waste of my time. It's probably why I've only asked out one girl "out of the blue" like that once in my life.

One big thing I've definitely learned is that "I'm the prize", helps greatly with confidence.

 

[contract]

It's not about anything...

It's not about saying the right words..

Just F*cking do it. You must have balls.

You will be surprised!

Even if you directly just straight up ask her out, that's 100% acceptable. Even if you are trembling in fear, etc.

The only way you can F*ck this up is by not asking her out in the first place.

It's that simple. As much as men want "her" to be the one, it doesn't always work like that.

It's a numbers game at times. She could be crazy, bore you, etc. Or show you no love back.

Remember, you can never go wrong by speaking up. If she's not interested, who cares...

Stop looking: there is no F*cking magic pill, line, confidence booster bullshit, etc.

 

[DtRockstar1]

Haha David Deida! Probably the worst "pick up artist" with the best marketing. I remember being on his email list. He's made millions off the pick up scene. Smart dude...he's doing business and entrepreneur coaching now.

Same here, I was on his email list about 10 years ago and those guys sure know how to reel people in. Like you said - great marketer, but I wonder how good he is at what he preaches.

And Mystery? There's a video online of him talking to people in a bar and it was PAINFUL to watch! He was boring people to death saying the same things over and over again.

Chris

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.