My boss has communication problems.

[OVOvince]

Okay, maybe I worded it wrong, but it's not like he doesn't respond to emails or texts or anything.

He is an immigrant, went to school here for engineering, is extremely smart, as I saw the past few days. The issue is that he is a bad listener, has trouble comprehending, interjects needlessly when others speak with
"yes i understand i understand i understand....", and doesn't always give direct concrete answers --- he always gives analogies or circumvents or explains the situation instead of just giving an answer.

he told me he will be brutally honest with me in my flaws for my own development, and naturally i take criticism well, but how do i go about addressing these issues with him? He told me he wants me to be honest with him too but there has to be a right way to approach this so there is no hard feelings. I'm 23 years old, college dropout, I don't want to come off in the wrong way to an engineering veteran who's been in his game for over 10 years and has great achievements.

we just had a meeting with software developers and it was sort of obvious the other guys were getting irritated a little bit when they had to constantly correct him because he wasn't understanding or giving the right answers.

 

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[Will Hodge]

Okay, maybe I worded it wrong, but it's not like he doesn't respond to emails or texts or anything.

He is an immigrant, went to school here for engineering, is extremely smart, as I saw the past few days. The issue is that he is a bad listener, has trouble comprehending, interjects needlessly when others speak with
"yes i understand i understand i understand....", and doesn't always give direct concrete answers --- he always gives analogies or circumvents or explains the situation instead of just giving an answer.

he told me he will be brutally honest with me in my flaws for my own development, and naturally i take criticism well, but how do i go about addressing these issues with him? He told me he wants me to be honest with him too but there has to be a right way to approach this so there is no hard feelings. I'm 23 years old, college dropout, I don't want to come off in the wrong way to an engineering veteran who's been in his game for over 10 years and has great achievements.

we just had a meeting with software developers and it was sort of obvious the other guys were getting irritated a little bit when they had to constantly correct him because he wasn't understanding or giving the right answers.

Two books I recommend you read for this type of situation:

1. It's All Politics by Kathleen Kelley Reardon
2. Mavericks At Work by by William C. Taylor and Polly Labarre

They both have to do with Corporate Intrapreneurial situations like yours and I think they could help tremendously. The below article should help as well:

http://blog.dalecarnegie.com/leadership/4-ways-give-constructive-criticism-positive-way/

Best of luck!

 

[NVious]

Check out this channel, she has A TON of helpful videos:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqnoVzvx47SwObH_fq50kXw

"
he issue is that he is a bad listener, has trouble comprehending, interjects needlessly when others speak with
"yes i understand i understand i understand....", and doesn't always give direct concrete answers --- he always gives analogies or circumvents or explains the situation instead of just giving an answer."

Bad listening is hard to change, but maybe make your communication 100% direct and to the point.

If he doesn't respond to emails or texts, is there any way you could see him personally, even straight up ask him (in person) "I know you're very busy so it's hard to get to my texts/emails, is there another way you would prefer we communicate?" You can even follow it up with "I'm not trying to be passive-aggressive or anything, but I want to do my best to make sure we all succeed and I provide you of the highest quality of work so let me know"

Comprehension problems could be due to the language barriers, so again streamline your communication and use the simplest words you possibly can in the quickest fashion.

If he interjects unnecessarily, it could be a culture thing, but you could even tell him "Could you give me a bit more speaking space, it's very difficult for me to communicate exactly what I want to tell you if I'm interrupted. I apologize if I'm not being to the point, but here is the gist of it:"

If he used an analogy or metaphor, tell him you didn't understand it and ask him to say exactly what it is he means and wants you to do.

There are two approaches you could take, the slow and steady approach where you try to ween him off of bad habits, where you slowly implement these things or you could lay it out in one meeting depending on how much he appreciates brevity and honesty. Again, all of this could be a culture thing, in the West people generally are more "polite" in not interrupting you, but you would be surprised at how many countries that is the norm and something like "UHHHH?" is more common than "what do you mean?" or even "what?"

In any case, control yourself, be to the point and look to improve your own communication before trying to convince him of anything. What you could also do next time you see him is tell him about how you're specifically trying to improve your own communication and ask for HIS feedback first or even ask him to monitor you and give you feedback if he notices any improvement, that way you might even create a bridge for him to open up about his own communication and then you can even send him that link or go through it together depending on which videos you found most helpful.

 

[Ray Paradise]

Okay, maybe I worded it wrong, but it's not like he doesn't respond to emails or texts or anything.

He is an immigrant, went to school here for engineering, is extremely smart, as I saw the past few days. The issue is that he is a bad listener, has trouble comprehending, interjects needlessly when others speak with
"yes i understand i understand i understand....", and doesn't always give direct concrete answers --- he always gives analogies or circumvents or explains the situation instead of just giving an answer.

he told me he will be brutally honest with me in my flaws for my own development, and naturally i take criticism well, but how do i go about addressing these issues with him? He told me he wants me to be honest with him too but there has to be a right way to approach this so there is no hard feelings. I'm 23 years old, college dropout, I don't want to come off in the wrong way to an engineering veteran who's been in his game for over 10 years and has great achievements.

we just had a meeting with software developers and it was sort of obvious the other guys were getting irritated a little bit when they had to constantly correct him because he wasn't understanding or giving the right answers.

Send me his name and number and I'll call him and sell him on my services and drill him on how to communicate effectively before he ruins his business and life...seriously.

Obviously it is not just you that he is pissing off. His wife/girlfriend probably hates him and think of this as a way of you saving his life (even if he has a lot of engineering accomplishments).

Ray

 

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[AndrewNC]

Read my post #6 - What I would do is figure out how specifically HE communicates, and then communicate with him "in his language"
https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/co...e-unconscious-influence-persuasion-nlp.64141/

This puts the control of the situation in your favor, and not his. Deconstruct his communication style (everybody is different) and learn the skill of improving your communication.

Think of this scenario as a test to improve this skill for the future when you come across someone who isn't like you.

 

[Ubermensch]

Okay, maybe I worded it wrong, but it's not like he doesn't respond to emails or texts or anything.

He is an immigrant, went to school here for engineering, is extremely smart, as I saw the past few days. The issue is that he is a bad listener, has trouble comprehending, interjects needlessly when others speak with
"yes i understand i understand i understand....", and doesn't always give direct concrete answers --- he always gives analogies or circumvents or explains the situation instead of just giving an answer.

he told me he will be brutally honest with me in my flaws for my own development, and naturally i take criticism well, but how do i go about addressing these issues with him? He told me he wants me to be honest with him too but there has to be a right way to approach this so there is no hard feelings. I'm 23 years old, college dropout, I don't want to come off in the wrong way to an engineering veteran who's been in his game for over 10 years and has great achievements.

we just had a meeting with software developers and it was sort of obvious the other guys were getting irritated a little bit when they had to constantly correct him because he wasn't understanding or giving the right answers.

Record the conversations.

Musicians perfect their songs and pieces for hours - listening to them over and over on recording, correcting for the slightest mistakes, fixing the phrasing just right... - before they ever engage with the public.

Listening to a recording of yourself will improve you, no matter who you are. I record all of my sales calls. This is how I discovered that I said "uh" and "you know" as speech fillers way too much. I worked to eliminate them. I can also spot when I talked too much. The best conversations with prospects are the ones in which they do at least 70% of the talking.

You don't really realize what you sound like until you hear yourself on recording. Some people hear their voice on recording and don't like it. Some people work on their voices, because speaking and communicating is an art.

Lol. I'm a college dropout, too, brother.

Welcome to twenty F*ckin' fifteen, where we walk on cultural paths blazed by the hoodie-sporting Zuckerberg.

F*ck the system and its rules, its made hierarchy.

Show me a freshly graduated MBA. Anywhere. Anywhere in this country. Line em' all up.

I'll out hustle them. I'll out earn them. All of them. My 10% is their 10,000%. My yesterday is the tomorrow they hope for in twenty years. They have meaningless - literally worthless - pieces of paper that they couldn't get a dime for on Ebay. These papers tell them... what, that they can exist in MY jungle?

You show me any freakin' MBA right out of school who lands a Fortune 1000 client at age 26. Walk up and ask any MBA graduating next year if they will make hundreds of thousands of dollars in a couple of months. Be sure to yell your question loud enough so that the bartender or barista can hear you. Working for $4 - $12 an hour - plus tips! - usually means working in noisy environments.

HAHA.

Let a mofo not from the streets - not trained in mixed martial arts - try to square up against me with what he's learned in school, in a book.

HAHA.

BTW, you check out Dr. HAHA Lung yet?

Don't ever let someone talk down to you...

Even if that person is yourself.

Don't ever demean yourself, especially not over a dumb a$$ degree bro.

Anyway, let's specifically address your question.

You seem - either consciously or unconsciously - concerned about violating the 1st Law of Power: Never Outshine the Master (interpretation in the video above).

Everyone with ability has broken this law at some point in their lives. You excel, and in excelling, you outshine those you would much rather feel comfortably superior to you. Sometimes, such people are those who possess a kind of political power position over us. In your case, it is a boss.

The trick to being great - without violating the law - is to make your greatness seem to be a reflection of your "master," or your boss.

Bring your assessment of the situation to him, echoing his own words back at him; his words are your ammunition. Use his words to frame the conversation and set it up.

And you don't have to make this all dramatic. You could simply use the Socratic method on him (translation: ask him a simple question!).

The Socratic method does not just apply to teaching children. Robert Greene discusses the method in his work, as do many writers and commenters on influence.

The truth is, young pedawon, that in using the Socratic method to communicate to your boss the fact of his poor communication skills, you will yourself demonstrate a high level of communication skill!

The power of the Socratic method has roots in ancient Greece, and in using it, you wield a weapon as mighty as it is subtle.

Master Closers in business have used this to dominate and control board rooms.

Simply ask him: Why do you interrupt people so much?

 

[OVOvince]

Record the conversations.

Musicians perfect their songs and pieces for hours - listening to them over and over on recording, correcting for the slightest mistakes, fixing the phrasing just right... - before they ever engage with the public.

Listening to a recording of yourself will improve you, no matter who you are. I record all of my sales calls. This is how I discovered that I said "uh" and "you know" as speech fillers way too much. I worked to eliminate them. I can also spot when I talked too much. The best conversations with prospects are the ones in which they do at least 70% of the talking.

You don't really realize what you sound like until you hear yourself on recording. Some people hear their voice on recording and don't like it. Some people work on their voices, because speaking and communicating is an art.

Lol. I'm a college dropout, too, brother.

Welcome to twenty F*ckin' fifteen, where we walk on cultural paths blazed by the hoodie-sporting Zuckerberg.

F*ck the system and its rules, its made hierarchy.

Show me a freshly graduated MBA. Anywhere. Anywhere in this country. Line em' all up.

I'll out hustle them. I'll out earn them. All of them. My 10% is their 10,000%. My yesterday is the tomorrow they hope for in twenty years. They have meaningless - literally worthless - pieces of paper that they couldn't get a dime for on Ebay. These papers tell them... what, that they can exist in MY jungle?

You show me any freakin' MBA right out of school who lands a Fortune 1000 client at age 26. Walk up and ask any MBA graduating next year if they will make hundreds of thousands of dollars in a couple of months. Be sure to yell your question loud enough so that the bartender or barista can hear you. Working for $4 - $12 an hour - plus tips! - usually means working in noisy environments.

HAHA.

Let a mofo not from the streets - not trained in mixed martial arts - try to square up against me with what he's learned in school, in a book.

HAHA.

BTW, you check out Dr. HAHA Lung yet?

Don't ever let someone talk down to you...

Even if that person is yourself.

Don't ever demean yourself, especially not over a dumb a$$ degree bro.

Anyway, let's specifically address your question.

You seem - either consciously or unconsciously - concerned about violating the 1st Law of Power: Never Outshine the Master (interpretation in the video above).

Everyone with ability has broken this law at some point in their lives. You excel, and in excelling, you outshine those you would much rather feel comfortably superior to you. Sometimes, such people are those who possess a kind of political power position over us. In your case, it is a boss.

The trick to being great - without violating the law - is to make your greatness seem to be a reflection of your "master," or your boss.

Bring your assessment of the situation to him, echoing his own words back at him; his words are your ammunition. Use his words to frame the conversation and set it up.

And you don't have to make this all dramatic. You could simply use the Socratic method on him (translation: ask him a simple question!).

The Socratic method does not just apply to teaching children. Robert Greene discusses the method in his work, as do many writers and commenters on influence.

The truth is, young pedawon, that in using the Socratic method to communicate to your boss the fact of his poor communication skills, you will yourself demonstrate a high level of communication skill!

The power of the Socratic method has roots in ancient Greece, and in using it, you wield a weapon as mighty as it is subtle.

Master Closers in business have used this to dominate and control board rooms.

Simply ask him: Why do you interrupt people so much?

Excellent post. thanks man

 

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