“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

[Gale4rc]

I'm 27 with now a successful company (had ~3 years of failure on this forum and many before it) and friends in real life dont care about entrepreneurship at all.

The people I surround myself with online though are all entrepreneurs or very smart developers / people in tech.

I've benefited from finding investors / people to work with from this crowd but ultimately my success was on me.

I wouldn't worry too much about the people you hangout with and just focus on doing what you need to do to reach that next level.

 

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[amp0193]

The quote in the title is mentioned in many books aimed at success.

As a 36 yr old with a full time job, responsibilities and a young family I find it difficult to even maintain any current friendships, let alone be picky about who I choose to hang around with.

Has anyone from the forum been able to 'create' and maintain a new set of friendships with successful people?

I'd be interested in hearing your experiences, how you went about it and what effect it's had on your own success......if any.

I have a young family too, I get it.

A year ago, I committed myself to figuring out this business. I've literally worked on it every day for 13 months.

The friends who don't get it, fell away. I naturally drifted to a couple of like-minded individuals, as this business was all I think about.

I joined a chat group of people from this forum with similar businesses. We've talked every day since March.

At the UPS store, I met a guy doing 1.5mil on Amazon this year, and his warehouse is 10min from my house. We've gone out for beers a couple of times, and I'm going to the warehouse tomorrow. I only met him because he looked like a guy I needed to know, so I talked to him.


For me, I think the quote is accurate.

 

[TonyStark]

I have a young family too, I get it.

A year ago, I committed myself to figuring out this business. I've literally worked on it every day for 13 months.

The friends who don't get it, fell away. I naturally drifted to a couple of like-minded individuals, as this business was all I think about.

I joined a chat group of people from this forum with similar businesses. We've talked every day since March.

At the UPS store, I met a guy doing 1.5mil on Amazon this year, and his warehouse is 10min from my house. We've gone out for beers a couple of times, and I'm going to the warehouse tomorrow. I only met him because he looked like a guy I needed to know, so I talked to him.


For me, I think the quote is accurate.

You're from Driftwood? I'm from Austin!

 

[amp0193]

You're from Driftwood? I'm from Austin!

Right on. There's quite a few DFW folks on here

 

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[sintzu]

To be honest, it's hard to meet like minded people, but absolutely necessary to surround yourself with them. One thing i've done is that I regularly listen to podcasts and watch videos from successful entrepreneurs that I look up to. I believe your circle of influence doesn't necessarily need to come from people who are directly connected to you, but it can also help to surround yourself with the thoughts and ideas of successful people that you don't personally know, dead or alive. On a daily basis I listen to audiobooks, podcasts, follow interviews to surround myself with great minds. With that said, I'm also working on growing my network through going to networking events and working on building that circle that pushes me up.

This has had a huge impact on my motivation, my work ethic and most importantly my mindset.

 

[oimate]

While the forum is great, I do feel a bit isolated here in N.Ireland.

Well you arent the only one from here. I'm just outside cookstown so not a million miles away (well 40ish to be exact)

Perhaps you could try the local belfast toastmasters club-these clubs tend to meet twice a month for approx 2.5 hours each time in an evening and it could give you a chance to increase your general confidence of speaking in public (not saying you need it) but perhaps more importantly it could increase your social circle to other ppl interested in self development which is perhaps more what you are seeking?

 

[MattR82]

Well you arent the only one from here. I'm just outside cookstown so not a million miles away (well 40ish to be exact)

Perhaps you could try the local belfast toastmasters club-these clubs tend to meet twice a month for approx 2.5 hours each time in an evening and it could give you a chance to increase your general confidence of speaking in public (not saying you need it) but perhaps more importantly it could increase your social circle to other ppl interested in self development which is perhaps more what you are seeking?

Yep I've seen this exact thing work for someone, and am considering it myself for all of the above reasons. They actually do it as a couple.

 

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[oimate]

Yep I've seen this exact thing work for someone, and am considering it myself for all of the above reasons. They actually do it as a couple.

Well Matt just do it, the membership costs are effectively nil and you can attend for free one or 2 meetings just to see if it is for you-for free- so all your losing is 2-4 hours if you feel it isnt for you.

Be Proactive and just go

 

[MattR82]

Well Matt just do it, the membership costs are effectively nil and you can attend for free one or 2 meetings just to see if it is for you-for free- so all your losing is 2-4 hours if you feel it isnt for you.

Be Proactive and just go

Once I have a slightly more normal work/life balance in Jan/feb I definitely will be looking into it

 

[oimate]

Once I have a slightly more normal work/life balance in Jan/feb I definitely will be looking into it

ok as long as you do and you arent just procrastinating when in reality you could spare 2 hours on 2 seperate evenings in December!

 

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[MattR82]

ok as long as you do and you arent just procrastinating when in reality you could spare 2 hours on 2 seperate evenings in December!

haha no I work away in an extremely remote area for a loooong a$$ time is all.

 

[oimate]

haha no I work away in an extremely remote area for a loooong a$$ time is all.

ok i'll let you off then ha.
If bored upon an evening and have internet access why not try udemy or Alison and try a few online courses (often free) to enhance your knowledge in the meantime

 

[MattR82]

ok i'll let you off then ha.
If bored upon an evening and have internet access why not try udemy or Alison and try a few online courses (often free) to enhance your knowledge in the meantime

Awesome, thanks for the info mate (and the prod..)

 

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[Five Star]

I wouldn't worry too much about the people you hangout with and just focus on doing what you need to do to reach that next level.

Very valid point. It's a good perspective. I'm very confused about what or where I need to go so I was hoping that by hanging out with the 'right' people I'd figure it out faster.

At the UPS store, I met a guy doing 1.5mil on Amazon this year, and his warehouse is 10min from my house. We've gone out for beers a couple of times, and I'm going to the warehouse tomorrow. I only met him because he looked like a guy I needed to know, so I talked to him.

This is awesome. Good on you for approaching him. How did your visit go?

To be honest, it's hard to meet like minded people, but absolutely necessary to surround yourself with them. One thing i've done is that I regularly listen to podcasts and watch videos from successful entrepreneurs that I look up to. I believe your circle of influence doesn't necessarily need to come from people who are directly connected to you, but it can also help to surround yourself with the thoughts and ideas of successful people that you don't personally know, dead or alive. On a daily basis I listen to audiobooks, podcasts, follow interviews to surround myself with great minds. With that said, I'm also working on growing my network through going to networking events and working on building that circle that pushes me up.

This has had a huge impact on my motivation, my work ethic and most importantly my mindset.

Thanks for the advice. I do enjoy reading books by successful people, and the odd Youtube video.

Well you arent the only one from here. I'm just outside cookstown so not a million miles away (well 40ish to be exact)

Perhaps you could try the local belfast toastmasters club-these clubs tend to meet twice a month for approx 2.5 hours each time in an evening and it could give you a chance to increase your general confidence of speaking in public (not saying you need it) but perhaps more importantly it could increase your social circle to other ppl interested in self development which is perhaps more what you are seeking?

Been in Cookstown plenty of times (mostly for the road racing!). It's a small world.

I'm not too familiar with the Toastmasters club, I'll check it out. Have you been?

 

[amp0193]

This is awesome. Good on you for approaching him. How did your visit go?

Great. I got to use his pro photo set up for one of my larger products, and I got to see what an operation his size looks like. It was very eye-opening, and will help me get there in the next couple of years.

 

[Five Star]

Great. I got to use his pro photo set up for one of my larger products, and I got to see what an operation his size looks like. It was very eye-opening, and will help me get there in the next couple of years.

Excellent. Hopefully this is the start of a very positive 'mentor' relationship for you....

 

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[kingspoint.club]

Maintaining lasting friendships has been a challenge for me as well as I have evolved as a doctor/dentist in my hometown. Based on my profession I am semi-famous around town like when seen at Starbucks, Costco, etc. People not even my patients know who I am and make comments like, "Well, you must be on your day off today as you are not in a tie" if I am in workout clothes. It is nice to start the small talk but meaningful relationships take a dedication of time to maintain. Like my fiance says, "Spend time with me because I need some watering." What you feed with energy and time will grow and blossom. It is a balancing act and after all your obligations have been met some effort on your part should be made to foster a friendship or mentorship if you are driven by business even if you pay for it. As I have evolved academically and professionally mentors have come into my life and gone that I still keep in contact with on Facebook. I like to talk them up as social proof in front of their audience but that is part of my authenticity--being grateful. If you are "great" you will attract "great" people. Remember your time is valuable so make every encounter count. Sometimes working on yourself or meeting your obligations to stay above water is what is right in the moment. I would not be discouraged if now is not the time for friends but plan to have time for them in the future.

 

[carswest]

I am not sure if you are into visualization but you can always have mentors in your mind. I 've heard it from someone in the past and I loved the idea. Besides my wife and my friend I mostly read books and listen to the guys I like via audio. I've got my virtual circle of mentors. Lol. Sounds probably like it is time for me to go see a doctor, but i like it. We have imagination, so why not to use it?


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