Why Do YOU Need a Mentor?

[SteveO]

No I haven't. Not sure where I could find those.

I have see people start their own. You could start by setting up networking here or starting meet-up with people that live close to you.

 

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[nitrogen1]

I have been contemplating of getting a professional coach. I rather pay for results. I don't want to be led by someone with no experience in what I want to achieve

 

[SteveO]

I have been contemplating of getting a professional coach. I rather pay for results. I don't want to be led by someone with no experience in what I want to achieve

I hope this works out for you. My question is that if these coaches are so good, why do they need to coach for a living?

 

[SteveO]

I have been contemplating of getting a professional coach. I rather pay for results. I don't want to be led by someone with no experience in what I want to achieve

This post is an eye-opener for me. Is this what people want is to be led by someone? Perhaps that is what makes the difference between who needs a mentor and who does not.

I cannot recall a time that I waited for someone to lead me into anything. Why not step into the middle, learn some things, leverage off of others, then improve your process? It is always problematic to have someone else making the decisions. We are all independent individuals with different ideas. I can see taking on a job in a field if there is something that you need to learn. I did this once. Took a job as a commercial leasing agent to get some exposure. That was purely to learn.

If you need to be led by someone, perhaps you are a follower....

 

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[MJ DeMarco]

I never had a mentor other than reading books which surrogated for mentorship. I think I turned out OK.

I cannot recall a time that I waited for someone to lead me into anything.

And that's the problem with a lot of young people; they're waiting around for someone to lead, guide, and hand out the paint-by-numbers blueprint. "I'm looking for a mentor" is usually code for "hold my hand so I don't have to learn and/or take risks myself".

 

[Andy Black]

Well worth a bump.

Great thread @SteveO

 

[MTF]

And that's the problem with a lot of young people; they're waiting around for someone to lead, guide, and hand out the paint-by-numbers blueprint. "I'm looking for a mentor" is usually code for "hold my hand so I don't have to learn and/or take risks myself".

I agree when it comes to people who have illusions that a mentor can solve every problem. However, I would caution against having too much pride by thinking "I'll learn it myself; I don't need anyone telling me what to do."

You most certainly don't NEED a coach, but you would definitely greatly benefit from having the right one.

I've been doing things myself fitness-wise for the past few years (my own diet and training). I still haven't achieved the results I want so I hired a coach. He'll set everything up for me, tweak it along the way, provide support and keep me accountable.

I won't have to think at all about what to do, so I'll be able to focus on just doing it. I'll still have to put in the work, but I'm 100% sure that by letting go of pride I'll achieve results much more quickly. If it makes me a "follower" instead of a "leader" so be it - all I care about is getting results.

It doesn't apply to just fitness. Business is the same. A coach - no matter what you want to learn or achieve - can greatly shorten the learning curve if you don't expect this person to do the work for you. Let's not make ourselves heroes who have to figure everything out themselves or it won't count.

 

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[SteveO]

I won't have to think at all about what to do, so I'll be able to focus on just doing it. I'll still have to put in the work, but I'm 100% sure that by letting go of pride I'll achieve results much more quickly.

This all sounds good in theory. In my opinion, if you really wanted the results, they would have been achieved already.

 

[ApparentHorizon]

What's interesting is seeing someone successful so dead set against needing a mentor.

At the same time, other successful people, will swear by one.

I did not finish high school.

My family disagreed with me when I began changing directions. My wealthy uncle tried to discourage me from leaving my job to do real estate full time. But, I don't listen to the noise coming from all these different directions.

Maybe this answers the question.

You never needed anyone else - especially your successful uncle. If successful people can be wrong, why waste time listening to them instead of gathering your own empirical data?

Your uncle told you not to do something, but you did it anyway. Now you're telling people not to do something. (Not accurate of what you said, but that's the way it comes across my simple brain)

Is it the same for everyone? How about the people who finished high school, and even college? They've always had someone spoon feed them knowledge, myself included. It's hard to break out of the loop after being indoctrinated like that, so this thread definitely has its place.

When studying successful people, I can't help but notice their mentors. Maybe this stems from a personal bias, but you have:

• Thomas A. Scott mentoring Andrew Carnegie
• Warren Buffet mentoring Bill Gates
• Max Talmey mentoring Albert Einstein

 

[Fox]

There is a large difference between a coach and a mentor.

A coach is hired to get results in one specific area. Boxing coach, SEO coach, driving coach, speaking coach. They show you technique and you work on specific learning goals. I have quite a few of these in my life.

- Audiobooks
- Boxing and gym coaches
- Udemy courses
- Consulting with people with specific skills

These are all forms of coaching. They vastly cut increase learning speed and keep you on the right track. You should pay for these, but you should also be getting clear results in that specific area.


A mentor is more of an overall role. Its showing how to put different skills together to reach an ultimate vision. Its more about the bigger picture stuff - mindsets, values, life philosophy etc. @SteveO already covered this so no need to elaborate.

I have never had a mentor but have gained a lot from coaching.

 

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[SteveO]

What's interesting is seeing someone successful so dead set against needing a mentor.

Please don't misunderstand me here. I am NOT against mentors. Just don't use it as an excuse for not moving forward.

GOOD mentors are hard to find. Don't waste your time searching them out, spend your time learning. You may run into a GOOD mentor along the way at which point you are lucky.

 

[SteveO]

I won't have to think at all about what to do, so I'll be able to focus on just doing it. I'll still have to put in the work, but I'm 100% sure that by letting go of pride I'll achieve results much more quickly. If it makes me a "follower" instead of a "leader" so be it - all I care about is getting results.

I already know enough about you to know that you are someone that works hard and doesn't quit. I don't want this to come off as discounting you or your ideas.

I have not had good experiences with hiring out coaching or most services for that matter. Shoot, I don't even trust the medical profession anymore as I have been misdiagnosed so many times. Someone puts on a hat that says "nutrition coach" means NOTHING to me. I would rather google and come to my own conclusions.

When I took over the golf course, we had a precision machine that none of us knew how to operate correctly. It sharpened our reels that made very precise cuts at .125 inches for our greens and had to be perfectly aligned in cut and height. So many things that could go wrong here.

One of the techs suggested that we call the machinist that originally set up the machine for advice. He walked into the shop and handed me a card that stated he was a machinist and belonged to some organization of machinists. Impressive. So he started setting up our precision machine. I immediately had questions. "Where is your reference point to insure that the reel is square to the grinder?" Him, "We don't need that. We assume that the reel is already square and we want to grind the minimum material off to get a sharp blade". Me, "I have the manual right here and it shows that we use this measurement device right here to set the horizontal and vertical position before we sharpen". Him, "I can't work in this environment, you guys are on your own". He again pointed to the card calling himself a machinist.

Well, I have experience with machinists. I understand datum points and measurement references. That card did not mean shit to me and I was happy to watch him walk away.

 

[ApparentHorizon]

Please don't misunderstand me here. I am NOT against mentors. Just don't use it as an excuse for not moving forward.

Right, you made that very clear in your earlier posts.

GOOD mentors are hard to find. Don't waste your time searching them out, spend your time learning. You may run into a GOOD mentor along the way at which point you are lucky.

This is what I missed, I think. You're saying, focus on what will be most effective in moving you forward. Learning and searching for mentor are both valid paths, but self investment is the better of the 2.

 

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[Andy Black]

It hinges on the word "need"...

I need more money.

I need a website.

I need to go on a course.

I need a logo.

I need a business partner.

I need a mentor.


Is it possible to run a business without all the things we think we need?

Maybe we're putting all these things in our own way?

To prevent us from starting.

To prevent us from shipping.

Because we don't think we're enough.



Whenever I find myself saying "I need ..." I catch myself and wonder "Do I *really* need it? Is it possible I can do without it?"


The only thing we really *need* to be in business are sales/customers.

 

[AllenCrawley]

GOOD mentors are hard to find. Don't waste your time searching them out, spend your time learning. You may run into a GOOD mentor along the way at which point you are lucky.

^ This right here has been key for me.

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

This all sounds good in theory. In my opinion, if you really wanted the results, they would have been achieved already.

But SteveO...

I didn't have the time for that! And besides, you gotta have money to make money. And you know the market is bad, and the economy is struggling, and the government just taxes it all away anyways.

I mean, really, the only people who ever get any results have mentors. No one can do anything without one. What'd you say? How did the mentors do it themselves? Well, you see, they're special. They're different. I mean, they must have been born into money. They had opportunity. I don't have anything like that.

I just -- if I had a mentor, I wouldn't smoke so much weed. I mean, if I had someone to hold me accountable THEN I'd pick up the phone and start calling... then I'd find a product to sell... well, yeah, because the mentor would tell me to do it...

In fact, they could tell me all of their secrets! Oh, in their book you say? Well yeah I read the book but there must be some other secret they're not telling me... so I sure hope they'll talk to me so I can learn that one little secret and THEN I'll reach ALL of my goals!!!

Anyone want to mentor me? I'll be really successful, you'll see!

 

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[SteveO]

But SteveO...

I didn't have the time for that! And besides, you gotta have money to make money. And you know the market is bad, and the economy is struggling, and the government just taxes it all away anyways.

I mean, really, the only people who ever get any results have mentors. No one can do anything without one. What'd you say? How did the mentors do it themselves? Well, you see, they're special. They're different. I mean, they must have been born into money. They had opportunity. I don't have anything like that.

I just -- if I had a mentor, I wouldn't smoke so much weed. I mean, if I had someone to hold me accountable THEN I'd pick up the phone and start calling... then I'd find a product to sell... well, yeah, because the mentor would tell me to do it...

In fact, they could tell me all of their secrets! Oh, in their book you say? Well yeah I read the book but there must be some other secret they're not telling me... so I sure hope they'll talk to me so I can learn that one little secret and THEN I'll reach ALL of my goals!!!

Anyone want to mentor me? I'll be really successful, you'll see!

@MTF IS a doer! He is a money making business operator.

 

[SteveO]

But SteveO...

I didn't have the time for that! And besides, you gotta have money to make money. And you know the market is bad, and the economy is struggling, and the government just taxes it all away anyways.

I mean, really, the only people who ever get any results have mentors. No one can do anything without one. What'd you say? How did the mentors do it themselves? Well, you see, they're special. They're different. I mean, they must have been born into money. They had opportunity. I don't have anything like that.

I just -- if I had a mentor, I wouldn't smoke so much weed. I mean, if I had someone to hold me accountable THEN I'd pick up the phone and start calling... then I'd find a product to sell... well, yeah, because the mentor would tell me to do it...

In fact, they could tell me all of their secrets! Oh, in their book you say? Well yeah I read the book but there must be some other secret they're not telling me... so I sure hope they'll talk to me so I can learn that one little secret and THEN I'll reach ALL of my goals!!!

Anyone want to mentor me? I'll be really successful, you'll see!

You have hit some key points here. I think having support is a good thing. The problem is that usually requires a fee of some type. Perhaps it is my personal bias that we have to be responsible to ourselves. But, whatever works!

 

[Mr4213]

I've seeked out mentors in the past.

After doing everything myself I also believe they are not needed.

Google. Common sense. Good work ethic. Willingness to learn. Willingness to succeed.

If you have those ingredients you're on the right path.

 

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[Swam010]

I believe in mentors.

I've never graduated, I just started working when I was 17. When I was 24 I became a distribution center manager with 200FTE. I greatly thanked this to mentors who where the managers 2-3 levels above me. (20-40% )

By showing high engagement, determination and above all enthusiasm
they started to help me without me even asking.

Make your mentor succesful (51%) and he/she makes you succesful.(49%)

Doing this for the last 12 years I became CFO at age 31 at a subsidairy at a large retailer, only to find out that it's the wrong lane..

Now 34, and at age 40 I retire.
First goal next 3 months?

Fastlane mentor!!

 

[Mr4213]

I believe in mentors.

I've never graduated, I just started working when I was 17. When I was 24 I became a distribution center manager with 200FTE. I greatly thanked this to mentors who where the managers 2-3 levels above me. (20-40% )

By showing high engagement, determination and above all enthusiasm
they started to help me without me even asking.

Make your mentor succesful (51%) and he/she makes you succesful.(49%)

Doing this for the last 12 years I became CFO at age 31 at a subsidairy at a large retailer, only to find out that it's the wrong lane..

Now 34, and at age 40 I retire.
First goal next 3 months?

Fastlane mentor!!

I do not think anyone is saying they do not find value in a good quality mentor.

Finding a good one is an issue.

People "waiting" to find one is an issue.

People need to take initiative for their own success. A few lucky people find good mentors. Most do not. No ones plan should hinge on a mentor

 

[Kung Fu Steve]

You have hit some key points here. I think having support is a good thing. The problem is that usually requires a fee of some type. Perhaps it is my personal bias that we have to be responsible to ourselves. But, whatever works!

All joking aside -- a mentor is not the thing that will make someone succeed or the lack of one be the reason someone struggles.

But what WILL dramatically effect your life is your peer group.

Our lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of our peer group.

We rise to the level of standard of the people around us or if that's too uncomfortable, we find peers that are more along our lines.

Easy to spot here on the forum -- all the people who would rather chat about work instead of doing it all hang out together... and those who actually work hang out together.

 

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[biophase]

I think it really depends on what areas you lack discipline in. I've never felt like I needed a mentor in business. Although, I do feel that having one or someone more successful than you would be a benefit.

However, I do have a personal trainer which I feel has helped me alot. I knew that I wasn't getting the results I wanted when working out myself, so I hired a trainer.

If I felt that I wasn't getting the results I wanted for the amount of work I put into business, I would hire a coach or find a mentor. But, I feel comfortable where I'm at, so I just don't feel the need for one.

I've hired coaches in other areas also because I felt like I did not have enough knowledge in that area. For example, I actually hired an "image consultant", that was her title on her business card, to buy nice clothes for me. I am a t-shirt and shorts guy and have no idea what to buy when it comes to dress wear. I went shopping with her, she told me what was in, what looked good on my body type, what colors to choose and explain why this goes with that, etc... Two hours later we were done, I had a new wardrobe and now I can actually go shopping myself, lol.

I can telling you that hiring someone good to teach you is WAAAAAAY more efficient than learning something on your own.

So if you feel like you need one, you probably do. Just find a good one! That's the hard part.

 

[SteveO]

@Major is an example of what I have been trying to say. Where are all the Mobile Home Park Investors?

Some people see a direction and take it. They will find the resources and make their own experience. In actuality, a mentor may have actually slowed this guy down.

Let's look at this realistically. Any business management requires constant decision making and innovation. Does a mentor teach you that?

What do you do when the constant barrage of obstacles keep jumping in the way?.... It is important that you solve those problems and get good at doing so.

What about growth? This guy certainly is showing us his way.

 

[ButGregSaid]

It is important to fully understand whatever you are doing. I am suggesting that you pay attention to the leaders and leverage what processes make them successful into your business.




There are a lot of challenges with finding a mentor. If you have one, we all would be happy to hear of your experiences. The only opportunities that I have had in my business would be to actually go to work for someone. Seems to me that I would be slowed even more by this process than by doing without one. I understand my business very well because I pay attention and apply what I learn from others. I evaluate what others do constantly and try to figure out why it does or doesn't make sense.

I have never met anyone that was willing to work with me as a mentor in my business. I feel like there is a lot of dishonesty and cut-throats that I would not want to be associated with.

The biggest hole in my process is with raising money for deals. I have some experience but not a lot. The only way that I know how to develop myself here would be either to work for someone, or to dig in and learn the ropes. I can't imagine someone having motivation to show me how to compete with them.

There are a limited amount of people that have some type of mentor program like we see around here.

So many people seem to feel that they need to have one in order to get started. I worked on jobs in the past that seemed to require a lot of training. Some people would complain that they don't get enough training or mentoring from others. There were some people that would not look for the mentoring but would just dig in and excel.

My point to this post is not that you should not use a mentor. It is that you don't need to make that a requirement to move forward at full speed. Leverage!

@SteveO I have to say I really appreciated reading this. My father is a Real Estate Broker and is a big time guy in my hometown which happens to be a real-estate hotspot right now... And he knows of my current situation (trapped in a corporate rat race) I asked him if he'd be willing to introduce me to some of his developer-chums and deep down the reality is I've been afraid of taking the leap because I don't know what's at the end of the chasm. I thought having a mentor would alleviate some of that intimidation - so I had told myself I was going to wait til I found someone who could look over my shoulder. Reading this thread I realize that this is probably not the best strategy to take.

For whatever reason, "going it solo" is such an unattractive idea - and the comfort of having a coach/trainer available is much more appealing. To this point I realize I've probably wasted enough time thinking about it.

Thanks.

 

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[Albert KOUADJA]

Mentoring is very necessary for anyone who wishes or wants to succeed.
A man cannot make himself alone. If we took the example of movie heroes, they always have a master/mentor who trained them. So I believe the same in business is really very necessary
. in general for me this forum already represents a mentor through the people who react / post and in particular through dad MJ. The one who sometimes leaves his students (INSIDERS) to come and share his wisdom with us (outsider).

 

[SteveO]

Mentoring is very necessary for anyone who wishes or wants to succeed.
A man cannot make himself alone. If we took the example of movie heroes, they always have a master/mentor who trained them. So I believe the same in business is really very necessary
. in general for me this forum already represents a mentor through the people who react / post and in particular through dad MJ. The one who sometimes leaves his students (INSIDERS) to come and share his wisdom with us (outsider).

No doubt that this forum represents mentorship. Books can also. There are everyday occurrences that can represent learning and mentorship.

My contention from the beginning is that it is not needed. It can be helpful.

I've seen the flipside also where a mentor ends up being a dishonest person and people get harmed in a costly fashion.

Good mentors are rare. There are some great examples in this thread. But they are rare.

I have personally witnessed quite a number of people from this forum go on to have great businesses without one. I don't agree that it is necessary.

Back when I had a job (23 years ago), I managed a technical department in a research and development. I had over 20 technicians and engineers working for me. I found that the ones that were the most successful were the ones that dug into their jobs with passion and energy. They were self-starters.

The job typically involved very custom test equipment. Some learned the job by asking a few questions and digging in. Others complained that they were not being trained properly. Guess which ones I focused on.

I never had a mentor. But I learn by doing.

 

[BAUCE]

Different strokes for different blokes. I started an e-commerce company 2 years ago by myself. I was told I needed a mentor to succeed so I found one. Older gentleman from SCORE. He was a nice guy and gave some decent advice but I realized that I'd rather learn on my own even if it meant potentially failing. I just got my own warehouse 2 months ago and have a bunch of different people contracting for me and soon to hire two employees for the warehouse. I didnt know how to do any of this, but we have the internet at our fingertips. There's really no reason I needed one when I can join groups to ask others when Im stuck. Worst case I hire a professional on Upwork for a few hours of their time. We all learn differently though. Im sure a lot of people would be 100% better off with a mentor than the path I've taken so far. Not sure why anyone is arguing you either need one or dont as we all learn in different ways.

 

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[SteveO]

Different strokes for different blokes. I started an e-commerce company 2 years ago by myself. I was told I needed a mentor to succeed so I found one. Older gentleman from SCORE. He was a nice guy and gave some decent advice but I realized that I'd rather learn on my own even if it meant potentially failing. I just got my own warehouse 2 months ago and have a bunch of different people contracting for me and soon to hire two employees for the warehouse. I didnt know how to do any of this, but we have the internet at our fingertips. There's really no reason I needed one when I can join groups to ask others when Im stuck. Worst case I hire a professional on Upwork for a few hours of their time. We all learn differently though. Im sure a lot of people would be 100% better off with a mentor than the path I've taken so far. Not sure why anyone is arguing you either need one or dont as we all learn in different ways.

Excellent! Way to kick some a$$!

I really don't feel that I am arguing against having a mentor. My opinion centers around the fact that a good one is not readily available.

Someone like you is a great example of the point I've been trying to make.

Congrats

 

[Kevin88660]

This mentorship idea is overrated. People work together because they get something out of it.
I have never sought out a mentor. It is better to look at what others are doing and try to determine what is making them successful. Put those things into practice. Do your own trial and error. Build your business custom fit to you.

Years ago I was coaching my daughter's softball team. We lost a lot of games in my first season. There were a couple of teams that seemed to have success year after year. I observed some of their practices to gather ideas. I noticed that the kids were always doing something and not just standing on the field waiting for the occasional ball to come to them. Nor were they standing around waiting for a turn at a few swings of the bat.

It was very obvious to me that repetition was the important part of the equation. How many times do they field the ball, throw the ball, and swing the bat.

So, I modified my approach. The next season I got five of the parents to COMMIT to being at the practices. I trained each of them on a certain job. I set up stations at the practices. The players rotated through the stations with the coaches. There were swing stations with 2 batting tees where the players repeatedly hit balls into a fence. There was an actual station with a pitching machine where the players would swing at live pitching. Other parents and the kids in that station would shag the balls on the field. There were infield stations where each player would repeatedly get grounders and popups and throw them back. There were pitching stations where I could make sure that each pitcher got at least 100 throws per practice.

I always finished the practice off with a game of pickle. All players would participate at the same time with multiple stations of three. This game builds endurance, makes the kids think, gives them reasoning skills in action, and makes them throw, catch, tag, run in the heat of the moment.

Well, my teams started beating these other good teams. I took their concepts and improved on them.

I applied the same concept to soccer. Even though I did not know much about the sport, my teams were consistently 1st or 2nd place. I took a girls team of 12 year olds to a boys soccer tournament and we won. Left some of the boys crying on the field because they were beat by girls. I never played soccer. Didn't know much about it. Just observed and put into practice.

This does not mean that you should not take advantage of a mentorship situation when it arises. That would be valuable. All I am saying is that you DON'T NEED ONE.

I would not even WANT to be mentored by most of the successful people out there. Perhaps take some nuggets away for my own practice.

We have some fantastic mentors on this forum. They mentor constantly whether you know it or not. Every time that you take an idea from someone and put it into practice, you are being mentored. Even if the idea does not work, you learn something.

Having a mentor in the same industry would be extremely valuable.

But having a business coach without the experience in the same industry, in my opinion, is usually overrated.

If you are in e-commerce find a mentor in e-commerce, for example.