Self Improvement

[AndrewNC]

For the past couple of years, I've been diving deep into the fields of self improvement and personal development to buildup my mindset. I've gotten into everything from psychology, NLP, meditation, goal setting, law of attraction, and other woo-woo type stuff that most people would immediately dismiss as crazy.

Most of what I teach through my business is goal setting, overcoming procrastination, and NLP so a lot of what I'll write about here will be in relation to that.

This thread will serve as a mind dump of the random thoughts and topics that come in that area. I plan on posting here at least once week and probably more frequently when thoughts come up in my mind.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[AndrewNC]

Warning bout self-development: While I recommend it for everybody, some may argue that it is the opposite of growing your business.

Don’t get caught up with it while ignoring other areas of your growth, such as marketing, etc.

In early 2014 I took an NLP training and instantly became addicted. After I began noticing quick changes in my mindset, and personal growth, I dug deeper down the rabbit hole. Shortly after quitting my day job, I moved to Boulder, Colorado and spent a lot of my time learning more about, and practicing the stuff.

While my mindset was changing, my business was not growing.

I got all those good feelings and immediate gratification from what I was learning, so (in my mind) I thought I was making progress on my business, but I wasn’t. This is not to say that it was a poor decision because, looking back over the last six months, I developed a ‘mental toughness’ where I could keep positive through “hard” times such as my business crashing during the holidays, ad accounts getting banned for no reason whatsoever and driving my business growth to a halt, among other things.

They say it’s not how hard you fall, but how quickly you can get back up. Because I spent a lot of time improving my mindset, those “hard times” became much easier and I kept pushing forward long after others would throw in the towel and quit.

The things I used to fear are now the circumstances that energize me and I thrive on.

Even though this thread will go deep into the topics of self improvement and personal development…realize that the time spent learning this will take away from the time you are growing your business.

Based on my past experiences, if I were to go back and do it again, I would dedicate a couple hours each week to learning and the rest of the time I would have been marketing and growing my business.

...consider yourself warned J

 

[beatgoezon]

That sounds cool Andrew I mean these topics are always a bit of a taboo, I'm looking forward to see what you have to share about them

 

[AndrewNC]

That sounds cool Andrew I mean these topics are always a bit of a taboo, I'm looking forward to see what you have to share about them

They'll start off pretty straight forward, but don't worry...once everybody is hooked with the mainstream stuff, I'll start diving off the deep end

Just kidding...

No I'm not...

Maybe I am.. but we'll see. I think the topics are kind of taboo because a lot of people get too deep into them without taking action on their real goals. Hence, why I started off with the warning.

Also, anyone feel free to post any questions here or things you're interested in learning. I'll do my best to answer if it's something I've done before.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[AndrewNC]

Topic 1 - The Cure For Procrastination - In One Post

Everything you need to know about taking action can be summarized by this picture.




I'm in the process of writing a book on overcoming procrastination and staying motivated to take action. So far it is 18,772 words and 84 pages long. 99% of what I wrote is "fluff" because people want that 'good feeling' of learning something new.

Emotions (energy) cause your body to move, not logic or knowledge

As a survival mechanism, our unconscious mind is built to have us instinctively and automatically:

1. Move away from pain, and

2. Move towards pleasure

If your hand is over a cold stove, and you challenge yourself to hold it there as long as possible, your hand will remain there despite logically knowing that you should take some form of action (to pull your hand away). Logic doesn’t cause the hand to move. Your body doesn’t have any reason to move (no emotions).

Do you logically know what you need to take action on? Of course.

What emotions are driving you? None. Our body is made up of energy. You need some form of energy to make the energy in your body move.

Step 1 – Create immediate pain for not taking action

Notice how I used the world immediate. Our unconscious minds thrive off of immediate feedback. This is how they train dogs. Immediate punishment when you ‘catch them in the act’.

It won’t work if the pain comes later. You already will experience pain later for not taking action… How’s that working out for you so far? Just wait…you’ll feel that pain in 5 years when you haven’t made progress..

Write your trusted friend three checks for $100 each. If you don’t take a specific action by a specific time, they get to cash one of those checks. You start feeling those emotions because you’re about to experience pain if you don’t act.

My business crashed on Christmas day. A month later I was still procrastinating. I bought a new car on financing for $26,000. My business was fixed within 2 days of signing the dotted line.

Emotions (energy) causes you to move.

Step 2 – Reward yourself as soon as you take action

Reward the action the moment you take action, and not the results. You want to build that habit of taking action by providing immediate, positive feedback when you take action (think of 'catching the dog in the act' with dog training).

Your hand will pull away immediately when that stove gets hot.

Write those checks, feel those emotions, and that is how you cure procrastination.

 

[Mass]

I'm looking forward to receiving reading this thread. I was in a pretty bad place a few years ago and discovering NLP and Mindfulness made a huge difference. I'm particularly looking forward to how to deal with limiting beliefs.

Where/Who did you learn the bulk of your NLP skills from?

 

[AndrewNC]

I'm looking forward to receiving reading this thread. I was in a pretty bad place a few years ago and discovering NLP and Mindfulness made a huge difference. I'm particularly looking forward to how to deal with limiting beliefs.

Where/Who did you learn the bulk of your NLP skills from?

There are two 'areas' of NLP (in the way I see it).

1. The part about influencing and persuading others. While it is mainly sales skills, it has a lot of NLP things in there: Straight Line Persuasion by Jordan Belfort.
2. The are I focus on is the kind for helping myself and others. NLP.com has a live training where I started out.

Doing the live training first with someone with 20+ years experience will ensure you start off in the right direction and are not misguided. After I practiced the skills I learned for 6 months, I became comfortable helping others with what I learned without having to read off of a script.

After that, I made friends with a lot of other NLP practitioners and we learned from each other.

I'll make a detailed post in the upcoming weeks about limiting beliefs when I get all my thoughts together on it .

Feel free to PM me your example if there is something specific you want to work through.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[beatgoezon]

They'll start off pretty straight forward, but don't worry...once everybody is hooked with the mainstream stuff, I'll start diving off the deep end

Just kidding...

No I'm not...

Maybe I am.. but we'll see. I think the topics are kind of taboo because a lot of people get too deep into them without taking action on their real goals. Hence, why I started off with the warning.

Also, anyone feel free to post any questions here or things you're interested in learning. I'll do my best to answer if it's something I've done before.

Yea bud, I got quite into this spiritual stuff a few years ago, I learned the biggest disappointment was that the newer books/gurus teach some things that are total garbage and obviously just to make money?

What do you think, is it valid to say that modern age stuff is mostly fluff? Are the older books on these sorts of subjects more precise?

 

[AndrewNC]

What do you think, is it valid to say that modern age stuff is mostly fluff? Are the older books on these sorts of subjects more precise?

I would say it has nothing to do if the book is new or old. Some of the more recent stuff "connects the dots" between two older concepts and turn it into something better. There could be great new content or low quality new content hired by a ghost writer for $2 per hour. Only the results matter

 

[Gymjunkie]

Good thread. Keep it up.

Definitely guilty myself of overstudying this. BUT learning about it has been hugely helpful. Huge part in business and life is self-esteem, for many people it needs to be fixed. Often the real reason behind seeking out SI first..

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[MakeItHappen]

Looking forward to your future posts.

The things I used to fear are now the circumstances that energize me and I thrive on.

Overcoming fear, limiting beliefs and negative self talk are three topics I would be interested in.

Also what kind of daily routines are in your expierence the best to keep a superb mindset?

Thanks

 

[EdKirby]

Good stuff! I'll be sure to pay attention to this thread. I'm very much into self-improvement and I believe that I've evolved to become the person I am today from that study and it's adoption into my life. But I still have a ways to go before I reach "nirvana" lol.

Like you said, don't ignore the other areas of your business. And take action, otherwise it all just becomes academic.

 

[AndrewNC]

Topic 2 - Limiting Beliefs

1) What are beliefs? Beliefs are nothing more than little waves of energy inside of our brain.

Close your eyes and do the following:

• Think of a cat.
• Now think of a mountain.
• Now think of someone you love.
• Now think of the car of your dreams.

Do you notice how you're thinking of the car of your dreams, the picture of the cat or the mountain disappeared?

Thoughts and beliefs are not real, they are just 'balls of energy inside of our brain'. But sometimes these thoughts of energy get so big, and so bright that they blind us from the simple actions we need to take.

In case you missed it - BELIEFS ARE NOT REAL.

2) How are beliefs formed? There was always the 'trigger event'. The first event that forms a belief in your mind. And what the ego likes to do, is it hates to be proven wrong. In fact, as MJ talked about in his B&P speech, when somebody challenges a belief you have, it actually makes it stronger. Try arguing politics or religion with someone who has a different point of view.

You must be willing to accept what you believe is wrong - That is the path to getting through this.

Persuasion tip- instead of challenging someone's point of view and trying to be right...how about you respond to their belief like that belief is 100% true and you believe it to be true too (even if you don't). And then when the other person sees that you are at the same level of them, you slowly poke holes in that belief to make them start to questions it? This way the ego isn't blocking what you are trying to sell them on. People have limiting beliefs against buying (anyone ever tell you not to trust a salesman that you don't know - your customer sure have been told this their whole life). When you learn how to navigate around your own limiting beliefs, you can use this for your business too.

Think of a limiting belief as a snowball of 'energy' that is always looking for evidence to prove it to be right (it does this unconsciously).

Your job is to pretend you are a lawyer and build a case against that belief.

One belief I used to have was that paid marketing was the ONLY way to make money online. This belief was formed after watching a Digital Marketer training course. They were making millions of dollars using paid traffic.

The belief was formed and I dismissed any other forms of marketing for a while.

Once that belief is formed, your ego searches for evidence to prove that belief to be true, without you knowing about it.

I kept seeing more and more examples of people making big businesses using paid traffic, and that belief got stronger and stronger. The evidence was there..because that was what I was looking for.

...until I learned about this concept.

I started actively searching out evidence that goes against this belief. No beliefs are true or false..whatever you believe to be true...is true (to you).

Then I found people making thousands of dollars per month from SEO, growing 10,000+ email lists from reddit, and building six figure companies from free social media traffic.

The old belief of paid traffic being the ONLY way was destroyed and I finally took action on other forms of marketing... and it's made me well into 5 figures so far.

All because I got rid of that limiting belief.

Steps to get rid of limiting beliefs

1- Get experiences that prove that old believe to be false. And build the case against the limiting belief and for the empowering belief by getting more experiences.

2- If it's a fear that is holding you back, imagine what you would tell somebody else in the same position. When your ego is out the way, the answers get much more clear.


I made a youtube video the other day about it...Talks a lot about what I mentioned so far, but I feel I could have articulated it better.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[Mattie]

What do you think, is it valid to say that modern age stuff is mostly fluff? Are the older books on these sorts of subjects more precise?

In my personal research I've found out the newer books leave out quite a lot of things, where it originated from, and yes, American writers aren't accurate and leave information out to fit particular niches or populations.

 

[AndrewNC]

Also what kind of daily routines are in your expierence the best to keep a superb mindset?

A lot of my growth has been just immersing myself with information and taking action on it when I learn it. I didn't really have a daily routine during my growth stage.

I just started doing this though,

 

[Mattie]

This is just from my personal experiments, but just my own observation. A belief and thought can be two different entities. A thought passes by and comes and goes, can be shifted with emotion, mood, and environment.

Gaslighting for example: I may believe something to be accurate and true in my experience. Yet someone is manipulating a thought by trying to persuade and convince you that your thinking is incorrect.

For example: I thought and believe I placed those keys on the table. I in fact know I placed them there the minute I walked in the door. I left the room to grab a bite to eat. I came back to the same room and my keys were gone. The person in the room stated they never moved the keys. They did move them purposely, and deliberately. They go on to persuade me that there must be fault in my belief I left the keys there. There must be something wrong with your thinking. The illusion says the keys were never there, because the person in front of me tells me it didn't happen. So, I believe there must be something wrong with me. (The belief: I know I put them there without a doubt. Thought: I thought I put them there, but I'm told I didn't. I guess I didn't put them there. (Belief) I can believe what someone is telling me or I can choose not to believe and ignore the thought that tells me to agree with what they're trying to tell me.

Another example I've seen online with people: I look at a man or woman's profile on face book. I draw conclusions from photographs, and information they write on line. A woman may have a romantic interest in a guy. The guy manipulates her emotions and feelings by sending video's with certain lyrics, with a certain message. Study and observe conversations with her. Make her believe after a year he's interested in her. And then turn around and bully the person using the negative comments and seeing her weaknesses. The woman believes over a certain amount of time this person cares for her, empathetic, understanding, and compassionate, but at the right opportunity her beliefs are then mangled, by the shift of new messages indicating the complete opposite.

False evidence can appear real. The illusion in the experience feels real. On her part if she didn't have a name, background information, and even as and example on Second Life, an Avatar can appear female or male, but there is no indication who is behind the avatar. You believe what you are seeing as real. The avatar and name looks female. The person behind the avatar plays the part of the female. A year later exposes the person behind the avatar was a male, and if they are in a romantic relationship, again the belief system is shifted. You believed this person was one thing, but completely different. You believed you were talking to a female and interacted for a year.

So yes, I agree is anything real in these situations. Yes the thought may present itself to be real in the experience. The other person may be manipulating the experience by doing certain things to get you to believe. Then twist your believes by once again doing something to mess with your thoughts. Which then you would have rely on feeling, touching, smelling, hearing, seeing, and taking all information in, knowledge, and past experience to evaluate the situation. What is real and what is the illusion. And at times you may have to entirely ignore what ever thought you have at any given moment, and but still rely on what you believe from past educational experience, knowledge, and decipher truth from fiction.

 

Dislike ads? Remove them and support the forum: Subscribe to Fastlane Insiders.

[AndrewNC]

Came across this video on Facebook today... goes deeper into a lot of the things i've been practicing lately. Instead of trying to re-hash what's already out there.... I'll just post the link

 

[AndrewNC]

Perfectionism:

What is "perfect" anyway? Seriously. Before you read this. Think of something you want to be perfect in your life...perhaps it's a book you're writing, a youtube video you're sharing with others, or whatever it is. Are you judging "perfect" by your standards, or some other person's standards.

There is no such thing as perfect. It is a lie that seems to be so common throughout society, that most people believe it...because enough people keep telling that same lie.

A tale of writing two books:

The first book, I decided I wanted to get it right the first time. I wanted it to be perfect before I released it.

The second book, I decided to just put it out there. I was kind of in a rush, and the first book was "the big one" I wanted to write, so this could serve as a test for book #1.

Book #2 - I put it out there. I decided to self-publish, and put it on it's own website. I did some marketing for it, and I made a few hundred dollars in the first week form sales.

$300ish in the first week.

I got overall great feedback, but I got some specific feedback about sentences that needed to be updated, and sections that weren't clear. But overall...great feedback, even from those giving me constructive criticism.

One person even recommended it to a friend.

$600ish in the first month.

With more readers, I got more feedback (I encourage feedback, so I met get more than the average author). The title and cover of the book wasn't the best quality, and some graphic designer suggested that I improve that. I did, I re-uploaded the changes, and it was a little better.

Increase in revenue in month two. $758 (on top of month 1).

The book could have flowed better, and after taking some time away from the content, I went back to it without that 'emotional attachment' that was in my mind when I first wrote it.

$808 in month 3 (more than month 2).

The constructive criticism dwindled away, and it is now a very solid product.

Book #1 - The main book I wanted to write first, and have been touching up for a while now...Still waiting to be perfect. Still not making any sales. Still not getting any customer feedback.

$0 in month 9.

But what I learned from book #2 is that the customer feedback is what made that book "perfect".

I used to feel that I would be doing myself a favor by waiting to put my book out there. But actually, that was the only thing holding me back from getting it right.

Summary
There is no such thing as perfect.

You will mess up the first time. So why not get that out of the way sooner, rather than later?