Has anyone dropped their spouse or significant other...

[MJ DeMarco]

Albert Einstein's

Yea, he definitely wasn't a charmer in the relationship department.

 

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[SteveO]

I need to feel appreciated for what I've done

Listen to your own words. Ask yourself the question "Why do I need to feel appreciated?" If it is to make yourself feel better, then you need to work on yourself first.

 

[db7903915]

Albert Einstein's list of demands for his first wife (like a boss):

CONDITIONS

1. You will make sure:
   1. that my clothes and laundry are kept in good order;
   2. that I will receive my three meals regularly in my room;
   3. that my bedroom and study are kept neat, and especially that my desk is left for my use only.
2. You will renounce all personal relations with me insofar as they are not completely necessary for social reasons. Specifically, You will forego:
   1. my sitting at home with you;
   2. my going out or travelling with you.
3. You will obey the following points in your relations with me:
   1. you will not expect any intimacy from me, nor will you reproach me in any way;
   2. you will stop talking to me if I request it;
   3. you will leave my bedroom or study immediately without protest if I request it.
4. You will undertake not to belittle me in front of our children, either through words or behavior.

http://www.listsofnote.com/2012/04/einsteins-demands.html#

Yea, he definitely wasn't a charmer in the relationship department.

This is a great template for an online dating profile.

 

[James Fake]

I've dropped one or two along the way...

 

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[Rem]

Okay I had issues with this a while back and maybe some remember this but I decided to run my marriage like a business. You need to have clear cut goals, things that you both need to achieve to get there, and you both need equal time to do things on your own. Lay this out, one bullet point at a time. Make sure it is fair and equal and have it in writing on a piece of paper or on google docs or something. You both have to know what the other one WANTS and what their expectations are of you as a human being. Come to a decision that is agreeable before hand. This could take days or even weeks to determine by working through disagreements. But you need to be able to establish some level of give and take and if she is the only one taking then you can call her out on it because the math doesn't work out on paper.

Use Google Calendar, and set times right down to 15 minute friggin' segments man and make sure you are giving to the relationship just as much as she is. Then when you have scheduled in your blocks to work on a fastlane business, then you work your a$$ off during that time, and when you get to the point where you are supposed to be spending time with her, shut off your fastlane biz thoughts, and go 100% in on her and work hard on establishing a good relationship with her.

The issue is more about allocating time properly and making sure it's fair. you want to feel loved and needed and you want her undivided attention when you are with her, and she wants the same from you. Schedule that son of a bitch into google calendar, and I swear on my mother's grave if you can stick to schedules you'll see an improvement in all aspects of your life if you can schedule them in. Don't feel stupid about it, just make room for everthing that is important to you.

You should see my google calendar sometime. It's f*cked up man. I have 15 minute blocks where i can sit down with my wife or take a quick walk around the block without kids so we can talk. Put in the time however you can. It's worth sticking it out and working on the relationship and it's worth going after your goals. You shouldn't have to give up one for the other, just learn to work it into your life.

Good luck and feel free to contact me anytime and I can help when I can.

 

[Bila]

his first wife

No wonder she left

 

[OscarDeuce]

I've dropped one or two along the way...

I've dumped...three. First one I was just a young guy of 19 or 20. Swiped her from a state senator's son. Sonny boy cried to daddy, who had me arrested on trumped up charges and tossed in the clink. Dumped! But as they hauled me off, I said to the sheriff in my best Terminator voice, "I'll be back" (long before the movie came out). And I did come back. And I dated the sheriff's daughter for the next 10 years...until I found out she was a hooker for the CIA. Dumped! Then there was the pole dancer. Never date a pole dancer. But if you do, make sure they're not really a ... drug kingpin (kingpin-ess?). Dumped. And you guys probably think I'm making this up...

Cheers,
O-2

 

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[Rem]

I think of marriage as an excuse. Once you dump them, you'll cling onto something else that is the "cause" of your failures.

Any married person is just as capable of succeeding in the fastlane as a single person. But it's easier to just say, well I'm married and my wife doesn't agree with my shit, so that's the reason I am not currently succeeding.

It's harsh but it's my strong belief. It isn't about marriage or the amount of kids you have or where you live or how old you are or are not. Sure, sometimes you need to tweak one or more of those things to give you a clearer picture but at the end of the day, it's all in your mind.

Remember, it's not about what you believe in but what your wife feels she is losing. Give her what she wants and then you can execute on what you want. Remove her fears of what the fastlane is.... She fears you will no longer need her, she fears you will spend more time on fastlane than her, she fears losing security. Give her all the things she wants, and then tell her the reason she has those is because of your fastlane principles. Make her like you for the positive changes in your life.

But you need to earn that trust and it will take time, so stop talking and get busy executing.

 

[FreshStart87]

What kind of mindset is that?!

Fastlane Mindset

 

[DeletedUser394]

Fastlane Mindset

More like Douchebag mindset

 

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[AllenCrawley]

Albert Einstein's list of demands for his first wife (like a boss):

CONDITIONS

1. You will make sure:
   1. that my clothes and laundry are kept in good order;
   2. that I will receive my three meals regularly in my room;
   3. that my bedroom and study are kept neat, and especially that my desk is left for my use only.
2. You will renounce all personal relations with me insofar as they are not completely necessary for social reasons. Specifically, You will forego:
   1. my sitting at home with you;
   2. my going out or travelling with you.
3. You will obey the following points in your relations with me:
   1. you will not expect any intimacy from me, nor will you reproach me in any way;
   2. you will stop talking to me if I request it;
   3. you will leave my bedroom or study immediately without protest if I request it.
4. You will undertake not to belittle me in front of our children, either through words or behavior.

http://www.listsofnote.com/2012/04/einsteins-demands.html#

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Let's keep this in perspective.

Albert Einstein's marriage to his wife of 11 years, Mileva Marić, was fast deteriorating. Realising there was no hope for their relationship on a romantic level, Einstein proposed that they remain together for the sake of their children, but only if she agree to the following list of conditions.

Mileva accepted them, but to no avail. A few months later, she left her husband in Berlin and moved, with their sons, to Zurich.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

Didn't he end up marrying his cousin? Or some weird shit?

 

[AllenCrawley]

• You will make sure:
  1. that my clothes and laundry are kept in good order;
  2. that I will receive my three meals regularly in my room;
  3. that my bedroom and study are kept neat, and especially that my desk is left for my use only.

• You will renounce all personal relations with me insofar as they are not completely necessary for social reasons. Specifically, You will forego:
  1. my sitting at home with you;
  2. my going out or travelling with you.

• You will obey the following points in your relations with me:
  1. you will not expect any intimacy from me, nor will you reproach me in any way;
  2. you will stop talking to me if I request it;
  3. you will leave my bedroom or study immediately without protest if I request it.

• You will undertake not to belittle me in front of our children, either through words or behavior.

Reminds me of Sheldon's Relationship Agreement on The Big Bang Theory. (Probably where the writer's got the idea, lol)

 

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[Daniel A]

Check out Corey, he is a real genius

I bought his book not too long ago and read up to 15%, but stopped because college assignments were getting in the way. I can tell it's true quality though and it's awesome how he tells you to Google videos he's already made. I bought two others on the same topic to go along with it, but returned them because I'd rather re-read Corey's book several times (which he recommends).

Good stuff. +1 on Corey. <== Similar smile, lol.

 

[Rawr]

Didn't he end up marrying his cousin? Or some weird shit?

I think none of us can judge a guy of his statue to any degree. Look into his biography, he rubbed elbows with Stalin, Churchill, was offered to be a president of Israel, etc. At that level, and this is just imo, but you get to write your own rules.

 

[AgainstAllOdds]

Didn't he end up marrying his cousin? Or some weird shit?

He did. Really smart but also really weird:

"Einstein married Elsa Löwenthal on 2 June 1919, after having had a relationship with her since 1912. She was a first cousin maternally and a second cousin paternally. In 1933, they emigrated to the United States."

Sidenote: She also looked like a guy:

 

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[Bila]

I think it's a cultural thing, here in North America, cousins are a big no no and seen as weird, in other parts of the world it's accepted and in some cases encouraged ( religious and race preservation for minorities )

 

[Mamadoo]

I bought his book not too long ago and read up to 15%, but stopped because college assignments were getting in the way. I can tell it's true quality though and it's awesome how he tells you to Google videos he's already made. I bought two others on the same topic to go along with it, but returned them because I'd rather re-read Corey's book several times (which he recommends).

Good stuff. +1 on Corey. <== Similar smile, lol.

Damn, those college assignments. They really take up 24hours of your day eh? I feel for you man.

 

[Aidan]

In favor of the Fastlane?

As in they were just not about that life and you decided to forge ahead on your own?

Totally. If the time being spent on the Fastlane means having the rest of your life to do whatever you'd like, it's definitely worth it.

My buddy @nekt has a great name for this; called it "Monk Mode."

Of course many of your friends will get engaged/married, have their decent 9-5 job working 5 days a week or more, get their nice suburban house, Mid-Ranged BMW. However, this is their life, and this is what they chose to do with it. Don't concern yourself with that path, unless you also want the exact same thing. It takes a will of stone, and determination of a starved Tiger on it's last legs looking for food to break the wall, and accomplish what most others don't want to.

Most of us here don't want that same thing. With the one life you have in this this world, do you really want to be and live the same life as most people?

 

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[FeaRxUnLeAsHeD]

I'm only 21 so not much input here, but all I know is I can't date / be with someone who doesn't have a fastlane mentality.

 

[Bellini]

IMO, it's ideal to have two fastlaners together in a relationship because you understand each other better. In fact, if you're not married, I would look for a future spouse that wants the fastlane and is willing to 'ride with you' all the way.

However, having said that, if you are already married it's insane to even consider "dropping" your spouse just because they don't understand your business mindset. You find a way to make it work, and get your priorities straight. You don't leave the people you love in order to chase some materialistic goal in order to prove something to yourself. Your low self esteem is going to follow you no matter where you go.

A boyfriend or girlfriend is a different matter altogether. If you not married then move on to someone who's a better fit.

I'm tired of people trying to use some blanket excuse for their shortcomings and lack of relationship skills while they blame-shift to everything and everybody but themselves.


Quote from a great movie:

"You call yourself a free spirit, a wild thing, and you're terrified that somebody's going to put you in a cage. Well, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself, and it's not bound in on the west by Tulip, Texas or in the east by Somali Land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just keep on running into yourself".

 

[SteveO]

However, having said that, if you are already married it's insane to even consider "dropping" your spouse just because they don't understand your business mindset. You find a way to make it work, and get your priorities straight. You don't leave the people you love in order to chase some materialistic goal in order to prove something to yourself. Your low self esteem is going to follow you no matter where you go.

I certainly hear what you are saying. But, this is not a materialistic goal for most of us. It is a lifestyle.

Nobody should just drop their significant other for petty reasons. There can be reasons though.

I was divorced a number of years ago even though we had a lot of money. My ex could not buy-in to the crazy world of business. She wanted X dollars to be coming in every month. I wanted XXXX dollars coming in to us in very large chunks.

We parted ways and she went back to work. I have not worked for anyone for 16 years and the large chunks keep coming.

 

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[Silverhawk851]

Let's let Mr Wonderful settle this

 

[Daniel A]

Damn, those college assignments. They really take up 24hours of your day eh? I feel for you man.

Not sure if sarcasm or not, but either way...

I did allow myself to lose focus from my true (long term) goals during that semester. I focused a lot on school instead. I got great grades, but honestly.

Anyways...

Summer has me like

I'm currently very motivated to read/practice what's taught in the book.

 

[oimate]

Similar but not wholly related to the post title, but I have a different situation.

I own a house with a family member who is not fastlane or in any rush to go there.

Financially I cant afford to get my own place (even renting) and renting out my current room isnt an option either as she wouldnt accept another person living there.

I am into self help and improvement whereas she is constantly negative and not one for bettering herself (lives the standard 5 days work for 2 day freedom jailtime and is happy to continue this until retirement in the sidewalk).

I do know the answer on this is to hasten my fastlane and double/triple current earnings which will create the freedom for me personally. Selling the house isnt an option as its in negative equitity at present.


Has anyone any advice/experience on this one?

 

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[James Thornton]

@oimate If they aren't involved, just don't talk business with them. I have to do that with one of my closest friends (the worst slowlaner)

Also, my mother. She lost our house and got her whole universe turned upside down when she failed at business. Was doing a million per year, but had big equipment that kept breaking down amongst other mishaps.

So of course she carries limiting beliefs, and doesn't have the best advice. I learned from her mistakes though.

It's hard, but I just separate personal relationships from the fastlane quest.

Whether or not someone "believes" is completely separate from the process driven action steps required to succeed. It's more important to just have good relationships with people.

Obviously, a different animal if dealing with a spouse, but not a roommate, friend or family that isn't invested.

 

[MKHB]

Let's let Mr Wonderful settle this

SilverHawk, where is that picture taken, Big Sur...No Cal? I like it.

 

[Silverhawk851]

SilverHawk, where is that picture taken, Big Sur...No Cal? I like it.

Sharp eye man, exactly it

 

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[MKHB]

Sharp eye man, exactly it

Everyone has to go there at some point in their lives, it is magical place.

However, ya gotta watch for the fish. Surfed Willow Creek, about 10 years ago (when I was still young enough to withstand two wave hold downs in 50 degree water) when a big black blob of something I was a slowly passed underneath me.

Not sure what it was, but it was big too be a seal, to slow to be a dolphin, too close to shore for a humpback, anyway, I didn't wait around to ID it.

MK

 

[Bila]

Let's let Mr Wonderful settle this

Fastlaner or not, i think it's irrelevant. Some people just like the " security " of having a job and a pay cheque, they would be terrible at managing their stress and anxiety in a business environement.
What's important is the support, a real one, not just in words, but actions. Not just for 3 months, but for years. It's very tough......