(help) I'm stuck. Can't finish what I start. Lack motivation. I know what to do, but I don't do it.

[gallagher99]

Hey guys. This is my first post/thread here. Hope I'm in the right section.
I don't wanna make this thread big so I'll try to resume the best I can. Sorry for any spell problems, english is not my first language.

I play poker, guitar and I have my own business. I am REALLY intense when I get to a new thing. I am a perfectionist, I know how to be productive, I can make to-do lists, and I know the benefits of a really good discipline/routine. I just started playing tennis again, having singing lessons and going to the gym next week. I was meditating 2 months ago, but now I can't stay 3 minutes and I quit. I wake up early and sleep early.


But for example when I started playing guitar I was playing 8+ hours a day, having a teacher to boost up the learning process and was loving every second of my guitar, now I simply don't feel like playing. I play 20 minutes and I stop. I see what I should get better but I don't do that. I think "well this looks like a coold song" and after 30 seconds of trying to get the song, I quit. By the way. I know that it is not good to spend insanely amount of hours in a thing, its much better to have a productive routine and discipline.

I LOVE online poker, really... I study poker, I discuss hands, I have a skype group, I review the session I just played and when I was in this routine I was really moving up the stakes and getting good/decent money, but now I just play... I don't feel like doing things like before, I wanna study but when I start I just simply want to stop. I start watching a video lesson and I stop. I start reading an awesome article that WILL improve my game and make me earn more money, I stop, I can't finish, or I read but without my entire focus.
My results are getting worse and now I'm breakeven/small loser. I know what I should do to get better, but I simply don't do that...

And about my business...I have a store, I sell clothes (mostly jeans, men and women). Well, last year I studied a lot. To be honest I was a mediocre entrepreneur and my revenue was little, but I read, studied and got lots of diplomas. I got better in every single possible thing in my business and my revenue at least doubled, it changed my life and i'm another person now. Obviously I can still get better, for example I have more than 10 books and online courses that WILL make me and my business better, for example PNL, coaching, how to speak in public, leadership, supply chain, branding, etc.
But when I get to my store, I know WHAT I should do, and how to do it. But looks like a huge switch is activated in my brain and I just wanna go home, I try... but I do half the things I was supposed to do at best. So when I was studying and applying and living and breathing my own business everything was going fine and the revenue was just getting bigger, now it is stuck (it still positive, but I know it can get MUCH better) and I am having this problem with mindset or mindset. I don't feel the same as before.

Its not just that... my social life is pretty bad, when I hang out with friends I go out for 1 or 2 hours and I just wanna go home. Seems like I can't finish what I started, even movies I don't finish... I watch the first half in one day and the other next day. Video games I can't play anymore, I mean... I play like 30 minutes or 1 hour and I don't feel like playing. Everything that I start I don't finish, I make lists and finish half of the list. I know WHAT, HOW and WHEN to do, what to improve. But I lack of something... I don't know if it is motivation issue, or if I'm depressed or something.

My business is obviously my primary target, I wanna have a supply chain, I wanna construct a nice branding. I probably open my second store in 4 months top (that is a fact). But I know I can do better and I have to improve lots of aspects and process in my business, and I can name WHAT I should do and what I can do it RIGHT now, but I don't have the "strength" or motivation, its like I'm waiting for a day to wake up with a sick motivation (it happens a lot) and do everything that I should have done days/months ago.
The poker and guitar is like a hobby but I just wish I could do all 3 with perfection or at least be really really good. I just feel i'm not being the best I can be.


tl;dr
I am stuck, I can't finish things that I start.
I love/like 3 things. Guitar, poker and my business. And everything that comes with those (like discipline, routine, mindset, speaking in public, improving the person I am, etc.) 3. I study and get better. But then I stop doing the things that I was doing and lose the motivation.
I know what I should improve, how to do the things right, and the most special thing is that I know how to learn the steps, I have plenty of creativity which helps a lot. But I don't "feel like doing it".

 

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[gallagher99]

I know, from what I just wrote, that some people may say that I'm faking action or i'm being an wantrepreneur. Which makes sense.

I do take action, for example I just got home from spending 2 day staying in the store (I was sleeping in the inventory room) fixing some problems and other stuffs.
But I know that it is not the action that I should be doing, it is not the action that is going to take me where I want, the "normal/mediocre action" I am doing that kinda of special action that makes the difference I "just don't feel like doing it".

 

[Get Right]

The Art of Persistence

And thanks for the tl;dr recap!

 

[throttleforward]

It's not uncommon for entrepreneurs to be "problem solver" types - when a problem is solved and it comes to persistent execution and exposure to failure, those types become bored and seek new problems to solve. They think to themselves "I've done the hard part - I've gotten my first sale/built my website/etc. I know I can grow this business if I do the same thing every day for a couple years, but I'm bored, so what's next?"

In order to combat this tendency in myself I had to kick my own a$$ a little and go "You think you figured out the intellectual problem, but you have not figured out the physical execution problem. You have not proven that you can solve the problems relating to motivation, persistence, mindset, etc. that are all required for actual real world success. All you've done is prove you can think through the problem and come up with a "paper" solution but not a 'sweat' solution."

Since I've changed my mindset from valuing grand strategy to valuing persistent execution I've been able to work through some really boring, repetitive stuff. I've also been able to avoid shiny object syndrome. Now I'm achieving more success than I ever had before, and I'm not telling myself bullshit stories.

This is why I admire Olympic athletes so much. They become champions by spending 95% of their time doing the same thing, over and over, for hours a day, every day, for years at a high intensity level. They have found a way to execute day in and day out like a machine.

tl;dr - Mindless, mundane execution is often the difference between success and failure. Execution is a practiced skill - reading books won't train your body and mind to do the things you know you have to do, but don't want to (with that said, if you are going to read, pick up Power of Habit). You've proven you can start stuff. But you have not addressed the challenge of finishing stuff.

 

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[richardm]

Hey guys. This is my first post/thread here. Hope I'm in the right section.
I don't wanna make this thread big so I'll try to resume the best I can. Sorry for any spell problems, english is not my first language.

I play poker, guitar and I have my own business. I am REALLY intense when I get to a new thing. I am a perfectionist, I know how to be productive, I can make to-do lists, and I know the benefits of a really good discipline/routine. I just started playing tennis again, having singing lessons and going to the gym next week. I was meditating 2 months ago, but now I can't stay 3 minutes and I quit. I wake up early and sleep early.


But for example when I started playing guitar I was playing 8+ hours a day, having a teacher to boost up the learning process and was loving every second of my guitar, now I simply don't feel like playing. I play 20 minutes and I stop. I see what I should get better but I don't do that. I think "well this looks like a coold song" and after 30 seconds of trying to get the song, I quit. By the way. I know that it is not good to spend insanely amount of hours in a thing, its much better to have a productive routine and discipline.

I LOVE online poker, really... I study poker, I discuss hands, I have a skype group, I review the session I just played and when I was in this routine I was really moving up the stakes and getting good/decent money, but now I just play... I don't feel like doing things like before, I wanna study but when I start I just simply want to stop. I start watching a video lesson and I stop. I start reading an awesome article that WILL improve my game and make me earn more money, I stop, I can't finish, or I read but without my entire focus.
My results are getting worse and now I'm breakeven/small loser. I know what I should do to get better, but I simply don't do that...

And about my business...I have a store, I sell clothes (mostly jeans, men and women). Well, last year I studied a lot. To be honest I was a mediocre entrepreneur and my revenue was little, but I read, studied and got lots of diplomas. I got better in every single possible thing in my business and my revenue at least doubled, it changed my life and i'm another person now. Obviously I can still get better, for example I have more than 10 books and online courses that WILL make me and my business better, for example PNL, coaching, how to speak in public, leadership, supply chain, branding, etc.
But when I get to my store, I know WHAT I should do, and how to do it. But looks like a huge switch is activated in my brain and I just wanna go home, I try... but I do half the things I was supposed to do at best. So when I was studying and applying and living and breathing my own business everything was going fine and the revenue was just getting bigger, now it is stuck (it still positive, but I know it can get MUCH better) and I am having this problem with mindset or mindset. I don't feel the same as before.

Its not just that... my social life is pretty bad, when I hang out with friends I go out for 1 or 2 hours and I just wanna go home. Seems like I can't finish what I started, even movies I don't finish... I watch the first half in one day and the other next day. Video games I can't play anymore, I mean... I play like 30 minutes or 1 hour and I don't feel like playing. Everything that I start I don't finish, I make lists and finish half of the list. I know WHAT, HOW and WHEN to do, what to improve. But I lack of something... I don't know if it is motivation issue, or if I'm depressed or something.

My business is obviously my primary target, I wanna have a supply chain, I wanna construct a nice branding. I probably open my second store in 4 months top (that is a fact). But I know I can do better and I have to improve lots of aspects and process in my business, and I can name WHAT I should do and what I can do it RIGHT now, but I don't have the "strength" or motivation, its like I'm waiting for a day to wake up with a sick motivation (it happens a lot) and do everything that I should have done days/months ago.
The poker and guitar is like a hobby but I just wish I could do all 3 with perfection or at least be really really good. I just feel i'm not being the best I can be.


tl;dr
I am stuck, I can't finish things that I start.
I love/like 3 things. Guitar, poker and my business. And everything that comes with those (like discipline, routine, mindset, speaking in public, improving the person I am, etc.) 3. I study and get better. But then I stop doing the things that I was doing and lose the motivation.
I know what I should improve, how to do the things right, and the most special thing is that I know how to learn the steps, I have plenty of creativity which helps a lot. But I don't "feel like doing it".

 

[richardm]

Hey guys. This is my first post/thread here. Hope I'm in the right section.
I don't wanna make this thread big so I'll try to resume the best I can. Sorry for any spell problems, english is not my first language.

I play poker, guitar and I have my own business. I am REALLY intense when I get to a new thing. I am a perfectionist, I know how to be productive, I can make to-do lists, and I know the benefits of a really good discipline/routine. I just started playing tennis again, having singing lessons and going to the gym next week. I was meditating 2 months ago, but now I can't stay 3 minutes and I quit. I wake up early and sleep early.


But for example when I started playing guitar I was playing 8+ hours a day, having a teacher to boost up the learning process and was loving every second of my guitar, now I simply don't feel like playing. I play 20 minutes and I stop. I see what I should get better but I don't do that. I think "well this looks like a coold song" and after 30 seconds of trying to get the song, I quit. By the way. I know that it is not good to spend insanely amount of hours in a thing, its much better to have a productive routine and discipline.

I LOVE online poker, really... I study poker, I discuss hands, I have a skype group, I review the session I just played and when I was in this routine I was really moving up the stakes and getting good/decent money, but now I just play... I don't feel like doing things like before, I wanna study but when I start I just simply want to stop. I start watching a video lesson and I stop. I start reading an awesome article that WILL improve my game and make me earn more money, I stop, I can't finish, or I read but without my entire focus.
My results are getting worse and now I'm breakeven/small loser. I know what I should do to get better, but I simply don't do that...

And about my business...I have a store, I sell clothes (mostly jeans, men and women). Well, last year I studied a lot. To be honest I was a mediocre entrepreneur and my revenue was little, but I read, studied and got lots of diplomas. I got better in every single possible thing in my business and my revenue at least doubled, it changed my life and i'm another person now. Obviously I can still get better, for example I have more than 10 books and online courses that WILL make me and my business better, for example PNL, coaching, how to speak in public, leadership, supply chain, branding, etc.
But when I get to my store, I know WHAT I should do, and how to do it. But looks like a huge switch is activated in my brain and I just wanna go home, I try... but I do half the things I was supposed to do at best. So when I was studying and applying and living and breathing my own business everything was going fine and the revenue was just getting bigger, now it is stuck (it still positive, but I know it can get MUCH better) and I am having this problem with mindset or mindset. I don't feel the same as before.

Its not just that... my social life is pretty bad, when I hang out with friends I go out for 1 or 2 hours and I just wanna go home. Seems like I can't finish what I started, even movies I don't finish... I watch the first half in one day and the other next day. Video games I can't play anymore, I mean... I play like 30 minutes or 1 hour and I don't feel like playing. Everything that I start I don't finish, I make lists and finish half of the list. I know WHAT, HOW and WHEN to do, what to improve. But I lack of something... I don't know if it is motivation issue, or if I'm depressed or something.

My business is obviously my primary target, I wanna have a supply chain, I wanna construct a nice branding. I probably open my second store in 4 months top (that is a fact). But I know I can do better and I have to improve lots of aspects and process in my business, and I can name WHAT I should do and what I can do it RIGHT now, but I don't have the "strength" or motivation, its like I'm waiting for a day to wake up with a sick motivation (it happens a lot) and do everything that I should have done days/months ago.
The poker and guitar is like a hobby but I just wish I could do all 3 with perfection or at least be really really good. I just feel i'm not being the best I can be.


tl;dr
I am stuck, I can't finish things that I start.
I love/like 3 things. Guitar, poker and my business. And everything that comes with those (like discipline, routine, mindset, speaking in public, improving the person I am, etc.) 3. I study and get better. But then I stop doing the things that I was doing and lose the motivation.
I know what I should improve, how to do the things right, and the most special thing is that I know how to learn the steps, I have plenty of creativity which helps a lot. But I don't "feel like doing it".

gallagher99,
I am looking for a motivation partner. I saw your post and thought I would reply. I am working on my dream career with all of my free time outside my job. I am very driven, and work on my dream every day hours and hours. I am interested in finding someone similar who is equally working as hard as they can on their dream or goal and wants to work together to push each other, keep each other motivated, set goals on a daily basis through text, email, and phone. Let me know if you are interested.

Richard

 

[Concept]

Hi Gallagher,

There are a couple of things I can see here. Lets start by looking at the areas of life outside of your business...

Firstly a couple of questions:

when I started playing guitar I was playing 8+ hours a day, having a teacher to boost up the learning process and was loving every second of my guitar

I LOVE online poker, really... I study poker, I discuss hands, I have a skype group, I review the session I just played and when I was in this routine I was really moving up the stakes and getting good/decent money

Tell me more about your experience at that time? Consider that everything we do is to achieve a particular experience. Jump back to when you were really enjoying those activities, what was your experience (how did you feel) during those moments where you were so engrossed in what you are doing.

Spend some time on this. When you come up with an answer, ask why? Then again, why? Why do I want to experience that? What experience do I want from that? What is the feeling I want as a result of that. Dig until you can't dig anymore and summarise it to about 2-3 words. Then post up your desired experience on this thread.

The next thing I want you to do is look at your current experience when you put your attention on poker, and guitar. Similar to the above questions, dig a little until you have 2 or 3 words that really sum up your experience. Post on this thread.

Now lets look at the difference between these two experiences. For each experience look at...

Actions:

• What actions did you take?
• What actions didn't you take?
• Where did you take ownership?
• Where didn't you take ownership?
• How were you "being" in those moments? (sounds a little hippy - another way to say this was what was your "attitude" in those moments?)

Focus: Where was your focus?

• Were you focussing on what you were doing, or were you focusing on the results you were getting?
• Where you focussed on making the present moment as enjoyable as possible or trying to get a particular result?

There are some more things that you can do, however I've run out of time, but for now it is a good start.

This exercise might seem like you are analysing the lint in your belly button, but by looking at the core of what you are dealing with the actions you take will be far more effective because they deal with the core issue.

The purpose of this exercise is by looking at your current experience, your desired experience and the pathway you use to get there, we can break down what has worked for you, and what hasn't. From there we can create effective actions, and shift your focus so you can consistently produce the results and experience you want.

Feel free to use the above exercise for your business challenge as well. I can see a couple of things going on there, however the above exercise could help too.

Post up what you have written down, and we can take this further to really nut out what's going on and overcome this.

 

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[gallagher99]

I love you all. Thanks for the replies, I wasn't expecting such good quality in the answers lol.

After some thought about my life, I realized something important, but I'm not sure if thats true. I want your opinion.

All those 3 activities that I proposed to do (poker,guitar,business) they demand time and to get to a sick level (I'm a perfectionist, maybe megalomaniac, I have plans and I demand to be good and keep getting better) it demands huge amounts of "doing" and improving. I did the doing and improving in those 3 back in the days, but they were "separated". When I was playing guitar, I was 90~95% of the time worried about guitar, my business (I have since 2010) was on second or third plan.

Same thing applies with poker, I was living and breathing poker, I was improving and was happy with it. But reality kicks in, I wasn't playing/learning/improving guitar like before, and again business was on second or third plan.
My business was the same thing, as the others above. Focused in my business but couldn't play guitar or play poker like before.

I tried many times, but I couldn't mantain a routine that I'd keep maximum level of excellence (or being the best I can) when doing 3 things that I wanna be really really good. It hurts my brain, even when I try coordinated routine... I don't think I can keep up with the 3 together (I can put 1 of those 3 in focus and the other 2 would be a hobby or something to break the routine).

That's why I came up with the conclusion that I will (starting today, actually 1:30 hour ago) focus entirely in my business. I cashed out all my poker money and will not think about poker for the next months. My guitar will be a hobby for now. No more shiny things, just deleted my WhatsApp (was getting annoyed), deleted my facebook like 3 years ago, blocked some websites that was sucking my focus and hurting my brain with bad news or useless information.

 

[Jambla]

You did the right the thing. Online poker is addictive and just a time waster, i know from experience. You are much better off focusing your efforts on your business. You will get a much better ROI with your business.

 

[gallagher99]

@richardm
I just sent you a PM.

The Art of Persistence

And thanks for the tl;dr recap!

Hey get Right. Thanks for the answer.

Seems like a really good book.
But i'm not sure Amazon ships to Brazil . I'll take a look.

It's not uncommon for entrepreneurs to be "problem solver" types - when a problem is solved and it comes to persistent execution and exposure to failure, those types become bored and seek new problems to solve. They think to themselves "I've done the hard part - I've gotten my first sale/built my website/etc. I know I can grow this business if I do the same thing every day for a couple years, but I'm bored, so what's next?"

In order to combat this tendency in myself I had to kick my own a$$ a little and go "You think you figured out the intellectual problem, but you have not figured out the physical execution problem. You have not proven that you can solve the problems relating to motivation, persistence, mindset, etc. that are all required for actual real world success. All you've done is prove you can think through the problem and come up with a "paper" solution but not a 'sweat' solution."

Since I've changed my mindset from valuing grand strategy to valuing persistent execution I've been able to work through some really boring, repetitive stuff. I've also been able to avoid shiny object syndrome. Now I'm achieving more success than I ever had before, and I'm not telling myself bullshit stories.

This is why I admire Olympic athletes so much. They become champions by spending 95% of their time doing the same thing, over and over, for hours a day, every day, for years at a high intensity level. They have found a way to execute day in and day out like a machine.

tl;dr - Mindless, mundane execution is often the difference between success and failure. Execution is a practiced skill - reading books won't train your body and mind to do the things you know you have to do, but don't want to (with that said, if you are going to read, pick up Power of Habit). You've proven you can start stuff. But you have not addressed the challenge of finishing stuff.

Really good answer. Thanks for your time.

That's something that I also admire in top musicians. They practiced so much that he doesn't "think" about it anymore, just comes out from his hands, it comes natural.
I'm not sure you guys enjoy violin, but check it out. This piece is considered one of the most difficulties ever. This guys play with his eyes closed pretty much all the video. He isn't just playing the piece, he is "delivering". He doesn't think like "I gotta put my finger here, then I'll play that sick phrase", he is just "letting it flow" (I can't express it in enligsh lol).

I think it is one of the most beautiful things human can see and be. I'm not mentioning just the music that I posted, but the level of skill that he has.

 

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