{PROGRESS + ACCOUNTABILITY} LAURYN'S RECONSTRUCTION: GETTING TO 50 SHADES OF PAID

[Lauryn]

Never forget the things people say to - or about - you when your life seems to be falling apart, or you're down on your luck.

I had a very rough week. Things are in a transition, and I got a concerned criticism from my parents, especially my dad, about how I go about life.

To be honest, I haven't done ANYTHING wrong when it comes to my jobs. I'm not fired because I have an attitude, or share too much of my personal business. To the contrary, people think I'm quiet and in my own world. Or that I don't speak. While I have a tendency to strive for the best, I don't try to outperform anyone, but I was given a speech about how I need to fix my credit, dumb myself down and not give people reasons to fire me.

I haven't been fired recently. I was laid off - with 90% of the other coworkers - months ago. When I got fired, it wasn't because I failed to do my job, management sucked. I am very good friends with damn near all the managers from previous jobs where I was cool and a hard worker at.

But somehow I was told that I have an attitude, I have to watch what I say, I can't tell people my plans or my business, and I can't try to come in and share all my creative ideas and outdo my management, and I need to dumb down. By my parents.

That has nothing to do with what's currently going on with my life, or what has been going on with my life. It triggers me deeply when people want to tell me how I'm doing everything wrong because I'm going through something, and I need guidance or help.

All of what I was lectured on hasn't even been applicable for over 5 years. You know how I got the gig I'm transitioning too? Because my former employers told them how F*cking awesome and dependable and hardworking I was. And because the manager was my customer at my (almost) former position and ENJOYED my service.

I feel so F*cking alone, and I ended up sobbing in the back at my job. I was miserable and in tears because I essentially felt I was being told how I have my whole life f*cked up and that really is not the case. For the life of me, I want to be normal sometimes, but I don't think it's just meant for me. I'm experiencing a situational depression again... and all I can do is get these feels out the way so I can write and keep it moving.

I don't trust anyone's company but my own anymore and my company will always come first.

It's always darkest before the dawn, and while my dad and mom mean well, I see that after I pay them back, I have to keep them and everyone else out of my life and sacrifice even more than I have before because there are only about 4 people in the world who even understand me anymore.

*goes to play The Weeknd while I iron out my "f*cked up" life*

 

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[Lauryn]

Spoke to three of my best friends... and I feel so much better understanding this...

It happens... I'll be better.

 

[Cruor Vult]

I had a very rough week. Things are in a transition, and I got a concerned criticism from my parents, especially my dad, about how I go about life.

That's very frequently the case for creative people. You want more out of life than most, and you also realize that one consequence of that is that your life has to be pretty unique in many respects. Most other people will not understand that, no matter how close to you they are. It will seem very strange to them that you are not content working in the slowlane.
In their defense, the slowlane used to be an okay place to be when there existed good jobs.
The world today is a fundamentally different place from when our parents were young, or even just 20 years ago. Their advice will often be pretty good for how the world used to be, but essentially useless today.
Hang in there. Everyone here is rooting for you.

 

[Digamma]

But somehow I was told that I have an attitude, I have to watch what I say, I can't tell people my plans or my business, and I can't try to come in and share all my creative ideas and outdo my management, and I need to dumb down. By my parents.

...

It's always darkest before the dawn, and while my dad and mom mean well, I see that after I pay them back, I have to keep them and everyone else out of my life and sacrifice even more than I have before because there are only about 4 people in the world who even understand me anymore.

I feel for you on this. I grow up despised by my father.
One thing I understood in my life is that even if you love your family, doesn't mean you have to like them. It was a great realization for me, because it solved the "but it's your family" argument.

 

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[Lauryn]

I love my parents - they're awesome @Digamma ... I just can't tell them about my struggles and challenges. They don't need to know, because I don't need to hear their perspective when it's not even based on a current situation. I'm in transition from one job - completely 100% commission - to another, that's hourly. And I have clients who are signing contracts... but because I'm in a hurdle, I heard about things they wanted to repeat that had nothing to do with my hurdle and everything to do with things that may or may not have been applicable years ago.

Had come-to-Jesus meetings with two of my closest friends - who know them and me - and they had to set me straight. Not everyone deserves to know your struggles.

 

[Lauryn]

Popping in to say hey.

In the midst of some deaths in the family, changes in my personal and professional life, and careful study of the self-publishing genre.
All I can say, is you can write whatever you want, but if you don't have the right keywords... GOOD Luck.

 

[Empire]

Hey there!

I love your book covers. Really eyecatching and elegant. I like how you have kept the covers uncluttered and simple. Very inspiring!

 

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[Lauryn]

Thanks Empire. I fell in love with one cover and had to buy them as a set. They were premade. I love the clean and elegant design. I'll let the content between the pages have all the magic in it.

 

[Lauryn]

• Finally pushed over the $300 per month barrier again. This was a mixture of price optimization, blurb and keyword optimization and adding KDP Select. Look, at the end of the day, I'm only focused on putting my material out on Amazon. I have no interest in Nook or other channels right now, because I don't see the volume and the business there. I might try it for some other smaller experiments, but Amazon, again, has never failed to pay me, rain, shine, sleet or snow.
• Working on Master Succulence. I can read the older installments of the story and feel frustrated at how "bad" my writing is. This is the marking of my growth as a writer. The reason Master Succulence has been taking so long? I needed the plots to come together and finally wrap up in this FOURTH and final installment.
• Keyword mastery is not hard when you're working the Amazon system, but it can be tricky.

Aside of that, business has definitely increased and picked up. I'm blessed. Things have been quite turbulent, but I'm starting to realize all the little crap that's holding me back or frustrating me is nothing but peanuts to an elephant if the ultimate goal is to keep accomplishing what I've been continuing to accomplish IN SPITE OF what's threatening me on a daily basis.

This situation completely purifies your circle and situation. As you really go through shit, you begin to realize who can only take but so much. Suddenly, people don't involve themselves in your struggle. You're "full of drama" or you "need to get a reality check" or seek stability. Aka a JOB.

Nah muhfucka. A JOB got me here to begin with. Do I work now? Yes, but I work on an off-peak schedule that gives me the maximum capability needed to do what it is I've desired to do.

It's cool because you have to shake out what's not real in order to get ahead. You'll know who rides in the limo when it's all said and done, no love lost, you just keep your shit to the people willing to tolerate you during your struggle.

Same goes for romantic relationships. I remember I once posted about dating and loneliness, and MJ or someone said not to worry about love until I reach my goals. I can see why. When you level up, you change and the people you're attracted to change. And the people you're dating are a reflection of where you are. If I met you on Level 3, and you stayed on Level 3 when I moved to Level 8, or you are trying to keep me at level 3, because you're comfortable there, and need me to stay put, it's not going to work. Naturally, I'm not against a situation where "we" grow together, but I'm still not even worried.

Within another month or so, I should be back on the INSIDERS too.

PS Found this nice little verbs list.

https://www.englishclub.com/vocabulary/regular-verbs-list.htm

 

[Lauryn]

Finally stopped being lazy and ordered the 3D box set cover for the "Master" collection for the series. I've been writing, but as i write, my inner critic comes out. I know I've grown a lot because now I read my material and think it's F*cking amateurish - and it is. Because I am an amateur at fiction. But people still love what they read and I've been reading and liking books with even more basic writing and sentence structure, soooooo whatever.

 

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[Lauryn]

 

[icey502]

Lots of pearls of wisdom on this thread. Way to tough it out and thanks for all the sharing.

 

[Lauryn]

Finally back over the $350 and $400 marks in royalties.

I have a book in this quartet I'm slugging my way through ... it's a bit more complex and complicated than I would have thought but I'm going to make it. Also have two editors on deck who can help me with this. Both in plot structure and proofing.

I'm grateful... and I'm twerking

 

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[Lauryn]

Completed the Succulence series. The 4th and Final book is in the publishing Queue as we speak. Aoooow.​

 

[Mark Foster II]

Keep grinding out babe! Thanks for sharing your journey and I'm looking forward to what the future holds!

 

[Lauryn]

Yooooo it's been over a month since I've updated, huh?

I've switched things up. I'm currently writing under another pen for the past week. Writing "shorts" in an adult niche that's pretty popular. The velocity is amazing. The more you write, the more you sell, and this series has pretty much outsold my most popular book in Kindle. Granted, right now I'm getting a lot more Kindle Unlimited borrows than sales, and April and May have been very slow months.

But like Held for Ransom and others said, you want solid success? Stick to the proven path in the genres you're interested in, figure out the formulas, apply them and spit them out.

Lauren Lashley is still my "public pen name" and written completely from the darkest parts of my dirty little heart. And I still get a lot of positive feedback from the books I write under than brand.

But right now, I've switched gears to experiment with stronger, faster, quicker success using a niche that people like.

Hope ya'll are well!

PS - Two goals this summer

1. 4-5 figures monthly with Kindle books
2. Investing in Alpha Home Flipping - and actually F*cking trying it

BONUS Goals: Re-reading Fastlane Millionaire, and then Reading Third Circle Theory (I have it on Audible)

 

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[gregarious18]

Yooooo it's been over a month since I've updated, huh?

I've switched things up. I'm currently writing under another pen for the past week. Writing "shorts" in an adult niche that's pretty popular. The velocity is amazing. The more you write, the more you sell, and this series has pretty much outsold my most popular book in Kindle. Granted, right now I'm getting a lot more Kindle Unlimited borrows than sales, and April and May have been very slow months.

But like Held for Ransom and others said, you want solid success? Stick to the proven path in the genres you're interested in, figure out the formulas, apply them and spit them out.

Lauren Lashley is still my "public pen name" and written completely from the darkest parts of my dirty little heart. And I still get a lot of positive feedback from the books I write under than brand.

But right now, I've switched gears to experiment with stronger, faster, quicker success using a niche that people like.

Hope ya'll are well!

PS - Two goals this summer

1. 4-5 figures monthly with Kindle books
2. Investing in Alpha Home Flipping - and actually F*cking trying it

BONUS Goals: Re-reading Fastlane Millionaire, and then Reading Third Circle Theory (I have it on Audible)

How's the new pen name going? I'm doing a whole restructuring of my pen names and settling on 5 new ideas for each pen name that I will complete and release together.

How's your public author name doing?

Take care!

 

[Lauryn]

How's the new pen name going? I'm doing a whole restructuring of my pen names and settling on 5 new ideas for each pen name that I will complete and release together.

How's your public author name doing?

Take care!

It's been a minute, hasn't it?

Anyway... to be honest... Amazon revamped their royalty system. So people who were making a great deal of money by getting involved with Kindle Unlimited experienced the wonderful effect of having their royalties slashed. I was at $300+ per month and now I'm back down to $100 (yiiiikes).

So I had to take a minute, recalibrate and formulate my plan. Again, long term is the goal. To succeed in this business, you have to be devoted to writing, devoted to the craft, and devoted to moving quickly, no matter what genre you're in. If you think you have a year to write a book, that's fine, but know that you need to be marketing, promoting, and building your brand as you're writing, and putting your launch strategies in place.

If you can write faster without sacrificing quality - like Milly Taiden - and you are killer with your marketing and promo, you will see a stronger sense of momentum in your success.

But regardless, right now, I'm stabilizing, pulling back and preparing for a longer haul. I am not a top selling author, because I didn't market. And I'll be honest, I didn't invest in the editing and promo that I should have (self-editing is nice, but you are not going to see your mistakes!) This time around, I'm learning and growing, and I'm building vision for the long term, so I don't get pissy when things aren't working out in the short term.

I'm also helping someone else launch his own publishing company. His first book is out and I've learned a lot helping him.

 

[Boozoon]

Can I suggest the following website for editing? ->
prowritingaid.com/en/Home/Index
It has really helped me pick up mistakes and make my texts much easier to read.

 

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[Lauryn]

Dude~ Thank you!

 

[Lauryn]

Wow. It's been quite some time, hasn't it?

I'm going to keep it cute + quick. After pulling away to manage shit in my personal life, which was financially all over the place, I got motherfucking focused. I had to eat crow and take a job working overnight... and then switched to another working 6 days per week. I had clients who paid me shit but I took them just to survive... and then I said F*ck it and dumped them.

2016 was one of the toughest years, period. I was forced to see all this shit was NOT working for me. So I cut the underpaying clients and learned to live without. I got real familiar with Ramen and rice and beans. I begrudgingly started having money from my paychecks put into an IRA and in some company stocks.

I continued working 6 days per week and paid off whatever debts were in the way and started facing others. And I cut off clients to focus on building residual (passive) income. My time has been spent at another forum (some of you recognize me there and reminded me of where I got my start here) that's focused on book publishing.

By getting financial distractions out of the way, getting boundaries on respecting my services as a copywriter, marketer, and strategist, and focusing SOLELY on book publishing, I've been able - since November 2016 - to publish in the right direction.

I'm making a modest but significant $2K to $5K per month. It's modest because we know members here have made $50K per month. No, it's not complete Fastlane when there's dependence on Amazon for the moment, but it's my lane, and I'm good with it.

The plan is to get to a certain amount, and then re-introduce my branding, copywriting, and marketing to the world. When I can negotiate without NEEDING the client ($$$), then I'm in a better position and it helps us all.

Oh, and I'm still in Dallas but I'm working on moving to the West Coast - Cali, for a while.

And learning about real estate.

PS - I once asked about relationships while finding my Fastlane. Someone said forget it until I get where I'm going. I didn't get it then, and I was lonely as F*ck but I get it now. The more focused I get, the more I see that when the right one appears, he'll appear... but as a woman, I cannot have a man whose motivation is significantly less than mine. I can, but I choose not to and I'm actually outgrowing my attraction to most men more quickly than I care to admit. It's a mindset thing. It's how someone carries themselves. When someone lacks purpose or focus in their life, you don't have anything in common to talk about.

The Desert of Desertion honestly isn't that bad when you can see the results on the horizon. Never any traffic on the extra mile. So worth it.

 

[MJ DeMarco]

I had to eat crow and take a job working overnight.

I wouldn't worry about this, jobs are all a part of the process. You known WHERE you are going. If you're traveling across the country and a get a flat tire, it sucks to get your hands dirty and change the tire, but you did you because you need to.

I'm making a modest but significant $2K to $5K per month

Sorry, but I think this is an awesome start. You should be proud of this foundation.

but as a woman, I cannot have a man whose motivation is significantly less than mine.

Ha ha, I'd like to say I should start a Fastlane dating category, but you'd be 1 profile among hundreds.

Thanks for the update @Lauryn !

 

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[B V Marlon]

I'm making a modest but significant $2K to $5K per month.

Sorry, but I think this is an awesome start. You should be proud of this foundation.

I also think you're underselling your achievements - it is an awesome start. I'd be extremely happy if I was bringing that in each month, well done!

 

[Lauryn]

Okay, I've stepped back in to say I am a full time, self-published author/entrepreneur. Most of my niggling financial obligations have been paid off. I'm learning to be even more financially savvy, and I'm also leveraging my time to learn to invest, and to put energy toward getting into real estate entrepreneurship, and retail/ecommerce.

Leverage, baby. Leverage.

Oh, my last day was July 4 "on record."

I'm still feeling like I'm in the beginner stages, but at least my foundation is so much more solid than it was before.

EDIT: Oh shiz... today is my 4 year anniversary here. Hahah!

 

[Lauryn]

Back again. For those of you who are aware, there've been a series of shakeups with Amazon. They have not only created a zero-sum environment for authors in Kindle Unlimited, but the experience has become toxic. Many authors lost their accounts because of the drama, most of which is related to perceived/actual fraudulent behavior, there was drama attached to hashtags like #GetLoud and #Cockygate... and then page reads and royalties continue to be sliced.

I still publish, but not as frequently because making the same amount of money was more of an uphill battle.

What also didn't help, was working with people who didn't share my vision or ambition. I've parted ways with those folks, and have been revising my plan of attack. I think the drama is a good thing in the sense that it shook me out of being too comfortable, because I was totally okay with letting Amazon be my bread and butter.

They can be a part of my wealth equation. But they will NEVER be the primary foundation for my fastlane. I have some partners and we're working on a few other projects I can discuss later... but I just wanted to drop this here. (These annual updates are hilarious... like I only remember to say something once a year.)

 

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