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How to become a better speaker?

Arima

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For some long time I have really some issues with storytelling. I can't figure out how to speak in a group and tell a story. Besides that I also have some problems with standing before a crowd and give a presentation. It is perhaps the most frustrating part of me that I dislike.

People tend to think that they are ''born'' with it. However I think it is a skill that people can develop and get better at.

I am searching for books/seminars/movies or other things that can help me with my path to become more eloquent, charismatic and a better speaker that people could admire. I hope you guys could help me with this. Every advice is welcome!
 
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MJ DeMarco

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owever I think it is a skill that people can develop and get better at.

It is.

The best thing you can do is be prepared and practice a lot.

I am searching for books/seminars/movies

This is waste of time. Quit reading, start doing.

Speaking to small groups, Toastmasters, anything. Public speaking is not something you can learn by reading books. Trust me, I tried -- only field experience will make you better, assuming you've prepared.
 
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Arima

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Thanks for the response MJ and aa610. I just clicked on the toastmasters (first time I have heard of it) . Basically I need to be more 'aware' of my body language, tonality and voice. I will try and look at the site to use the tips to make my speaking ability better. However how can I improve my story telling? Like making it more ''real'' when I am telling something and grasping people into my story.
 
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aa610

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I'd say lots of eye contact , don't use notecards etc unless you lose your train of thought. That is a way to give a genuine speech


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

DennisD

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The best thing you can do is be prepared and practice a lot.
This. PRACTICE.

Speak in public every chance you get. Join a group, maybe START a group, volunteer for stuff.

When nobody else is around, use a camera or microphone to get better.

I have dozens and dozens of videos of me talking to the camera, as practice.... nobody will ever see them but me.

When I have a few moments and something interesting to say, I open the soundcloud app and record something unedited, just to practice:
https://soundcloud.com/dennisduty/i-am-a-square-peg-guys-who-buy

I talk to myself all day long... most of the money I make comes from speaking enthusiastically and I practice every chance I get, even if I think nobody will hear it.
 

Arima

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This is really helpful guys. I am really grateful. I think I will start making video's of myself for like 10 minutes and talking about random stuff. Perhaps that could give me a clearer way of HOW other people are seeing me.
 
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Red

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The thing that helped me be absolutely comfortable in front of a group of any size was a mindset shift:

Most people approach a group with some kind of variation of, "Oh god, what if I stutter? Or my jokes fall flat? Or they're judging me & I choke? What if I look stupid? What if I say something stupid? oh god oh god oh god...." And I was no different. I used to be petrified, especially with my natural inclination being that of an introvert.

When I switched up my mindset, it all went away. No nerves, no clammy hands, nothing & the mindset shift was this:

"They need this information. This is important & I'm the only one who understands it on this level. They are screwed if I don't give this information clearly, concisely & in a manner that can be easily understood & digested. I'm possibly their last shot before they give up. I can't let them throw in the towel. They've been mislead, misinformed & I have the truth/answers. I can help. They need this."

For me, when I took the focal point off myself, everything changed.
 

splok

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I think the biggest problem people have with public speaking is a misconception of what it really is. What they imagine is something like a presidential state of the union address(100% prepared, scripted, memorized, formal, etc.), but imo this is probably less than 1% of what actual public speaking is. The VAST majority of the time, you're better of treating it as a conversation about something you're better informed about than your audience.

Would you be nervous or hesitant to explain something to your best friend? Just treat public speaking similarly.

Consider yourself as an audience member. Would you rather listen to a state of the union address or have someone sit down with you and have a friendly chat? The closer you can get to the friendly chat, the better imo.

Also, if you're using Powerpoint or something similar, the important thing to remember is that the slides are a visual helper for you, you're not an audio helper for the slides. Never put more info on a slide than someone can read in like 2-3 seconds. People will read your slides instead of listening to you, and if that's going to be the case, just mail out your slides and save everyone the trouble. People love to stuff slides full of tiny text, numbers, graphs, etc, and it's all utterly terrible to see as an audience member. If a viewer can't understand all the info on a slide in literally 3 seconds or less, it's not just worthless, it's actively destructive to your presentation.
 

The Grind

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I got a sales job strictly to improve my speaking skills.

Sales strips away any social / speaking flaw you have.

Do it.
 
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aa610

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Another big thing is if you're speaking on a topic that you know better than anyone else in the room, remember, you are the pro. And you know about everything you're going to say. That should give you confidence


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NonMagicalGenie

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I haven't been good at public speaking for a long time. One of the things that I notice when I get nervous or very anxious in front of big crowds is, my chest and throat become very tense and my breathing is not proper, I can't breathe as deep as I would like. So in those moments I like to close my eyes and and breathe in DEEP, slowly from my nose (make your stomach inflates by breathing in from your nose deeply) and out from your mouth slowly. I do that a couple of times. Focus on your breathing when your eyes are closed. Also in the mornings I do something called "the bow" its a way to release the tensions associated with you upper back, chest and throat. I learned it from Elliot Hulse on YouTube a while back, its awesome! This really helps me talking much more clearer, louder and smoother. This should help with your voice and anxiousness, in a way, but you still have to go out there and practice public speaking.

 
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Bellini

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For some long time I have really some issues with storytelling. I can't figure out how to speak in a group and tell a story. Besides that I also have some problems with standing before a crowd and give a presentation. It is perhaps the most frustrating part of me that I dislike.

People tend to think that they are ''born'' with it. However I think it is a skill that people can develop and get better at.

I am searching for books/seminars/movies or other things that can help me with my path to become more eloquent, charismatic and a better speaker that people could admire. I hope you guys could help me with this. Every advice is welcome!


Hi Arima - I agree with the others about Toastmasters. My brother attended Toastmasters and said it changed his life! He did it to face his fears of being in front of crowds as a stand-up comedian. I mean, you have to be one brave soul to put yourself in front of a bunch of drunk hecklers. Next thing you know he was performing at the Improv in L.A. and the crowd loved him :) He has a gift of humor so he was working with something he already had, which you can do too.

I'm not sure what your story-telling and speaking is about or what you want to use it for, but if you can mix it with your natural gifts it will help. Basically, you can tailor your training accordingly. I'm sure you will be great at it with just a little coaching.

P.S. You mentioned trying to make your stories 'more real'.......if the stories you are telling aren't true, then you need to think like an actor! Engage your audience.
 

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