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My regrets as a 46 year old, and advice to others at a crossroad

Paul Thomas

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This post brought this passage to mind:

"We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."

— Alfred Lord Tennyson, “Ulysses

Some work of noble may yet be done.
 

twdavis

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Lol I like how someone just got in a hissy over Vigilante using language that is considered below-G rated compared to 99.999997% of the language I hear used on a daily basis by human beings younger than 18 years of age......

THAT's the real issue here instead of focusing on the fact that this Reddit post should scare the ever living shit out of everyone.
 
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Emanuel

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Lol I like how someone just got in a hissy over Vigilante using language that is considered below-G rated compared to 99.999997% of the language I hear used on a daily basis by human beings younger than 18 years of age......

THAT's the real issue here instead of focusing on the fact that this Reddit post should scare the ever living shit out of everyone.
I thanked him for his post so I don't see what your problem is. Just because it doesn't bother you to read "f*ck, f*cking, wife was f*cking, wife still f*cked, up his a$$" from an admin on this site, doesn't mean it won't bother anyone. It doesn't matter if you're surrounded by people who talk like that all the time. I would expect people to control their anger and emotions better before posting on here.

Surprisingly, he was still able to get his point across even after removing the vulgarity so what was the point of using it in the first place? Besides, I don't think the real issue was that the guy's wife was f*cking someone else since he clearly stated that it didn't even bother him when he found out. The problem is his mentality. In any case, sorry for the divergence from the initial topic. I won't post again regarding this. It was just a small observation that got carried away.

BACK ON TOPIC: That guy can very likely live another 40 years so he needs to pull himself together and start making the changes he wished he made in his twenties. “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
 

Ninjakid

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@Emanuel I'll try to keep my profanity down to a minimum for you.

Cussing isn't always necessarily primitive, or unprofessional. It doesn't make someone an adolescent just because they choose curse words. Curse words covey strong emotion; do research on this if you don't believe me. While it's true that many immature people may cuss more because they want to sound cool, all kinds of "professional" people curse too when they want to strongly make their point.

When I've been to board meetings, I've noticed people throw "F*ck" around all over the place. Despite it being a professional place, big decisions are at stake, and people aren't going to hold back and expressing their legit opinion. For example, when Peter Thiel gave Zuckerberg his first investment, he simply said "don't F*ck it up".

Vig was relaying a strong message on a sensitive issue, and it's too bad the most you got from that was offense that he used the F-word way too many times for your liking. There was a profound message there, but you chose to focus on the thing that repulsed you and miss the point completely. It's like the man who only sees a barren wasteland through disappointed eyes when another sees an multi-million dollar supply of crude oil.

I hope in the future you can use your heart, and not just your head.


Now on the topic of this post:


It's really too bad what happened to this guy, but I hope he can pick himself and make the next chapter in his life fulfilling.
And while that was very cold and insensitive for his wife to do that, he must also accept responsibility. No matter what what your career is or what kind of business you create, the love of a good woman can make all that seem like child's games. So if you find someone like that, let her know that she is love unfathomably, and never let her feel neglected.
 

RazorCut

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The mentality on reddit is just not that high in some areas, it's sad to say. If you want to know about victim mentality, it's the place to go in some areas.

It is a cross section of society and as such you get exactly that.

Regarding John, those that showed no compassion might not have realised that he wrote that on the very day he found out that his wife had been cheating on him for a decade and his son feels nothing for him.

"Today I found out my wife has been cheating on me for the last 10 years. My son feels nothing for me. I realised I missed my father's funeral FOR NOTHING."

I think we can allow him at least a day without judgement. IMHO unless you have walked in those shoes I don't think you are qualified to judge anyway.
 
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twdavis

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Not to jack the thread, but as an aside, has anyone noticed how much of a blatant Sidewalkian/Slowlane vibe there is permeating throughout Reddit?

I remember reading this post recently in a thread about services available to rich people that the rest of the public can't have. Went like this:


Person one asks (with 8 upvotes):

So this isn't really an answer to the question at all, but I have a question. A kind of odd one.

How do the wealthy become wealthy?

Obviously by being successful at what they do, but what exactly do most wealthy people do? Are we talking like high end engineers? Or is it primarily business owners and stock investors? After looking at that James edition link one of the first things I saw was a house worth $66 mil. I'm just curious because I've always thought of 6 figures as feasible if you're good at the right major. But how in the world does one acquire $50 million?



To which the next person responds (with 15 upvotes):

If you work for a living, then you are not wealthy. There is the working class (also known as lower class) where people worry about making rent, struggle to make car payments, and maybe save up for a vacation. Then there is middle class, which are professional jobs like doctor, lawyer, software developer, small time real estate mogul, engineer ect. These people make 50 to 300k a year. They do typically work hard, sometimes harder than those in the lower class though it is hard in a different way.

The upper class make 300k+ per year. They don't have to work if they don't want to. All of their income is from investments in the stock market, or owning part of a family business that was started at least 1 generation before them.

Realistically speaking, the only way to become upper class from the lower class is to win the lottery, make it big as a rock star/movie star, or serious ridiculous crime. A few people make it from being born into the middle class to the upper class by having their parents leave them a lot of money (200k+) and then smart investing. And to go from being born in the upper class to staying (or moving up within) the upper class is to have a portfolio of investments given to you by your parents which is managed by people on your behalf.

There is no where near the mobility common Americans believe in despite the extensive research into economic mobility done by social scientists.

Anyone interested in reading more can do so here (pretty entertaining thread, actually):


http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1gsocw/wealthy_redditors_what_are_some_services_or/


My skin is about to crawl away.

:banghead:



Ok carry on.


:D
 

RazorCut

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Not to jack the thread, but as an aside, has anyone noticed how much of a blatant Sidewalkian/Slowlane vibe there is permeating throughout Reddit?

I guess it depends on the sections you read (I spend very little time on Reddit but use it occasionally for research believe it or not).

Those view points just come from having a blinkered perspective. They are from slowlaners who don't even know that that is where they are. They have no interest in building wealth so have never read a relevant book or conducted any internet research so all their information probably comes from the tabloid newspapers, gossip magazines and bar stool wisdoms.

There are loads of subjects I am ignorant on. I haven't a clue what the rules of lacrosse are for example but I wouldn't dream of writing about it as if I did as I don't even have a blinkered perspective.
 

Mattie

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"Are you serious? Yeah, starting a business is really 'breaking the mold' of society."

I think this comment just kind of made me laugh. I've sat in here and listened to you all say you have to meet peoples needs etc. etc. and that has value for the customer what ever you're doing. I would assume entrepreneurs are usually breaking the mold by inventing gadgets and technology in just about every field to improve society. So, I'm not exactly sure what this entrepreneur in Reddit is planning on doing, but hey, what do I know?
 
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ChickenHawk

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My husband is an electrician. One time, he did a service call at this super-nice house, maybe even a mansion. The home-owner, a middle-aged, highly professional person, was taking my husband through the house, showing what needed to be done. When they passed by the bedroom of this guy's teenage son, the kid looked up, gave his Dad a look of utter contempt, and said, "What are YOU looking at, Bob?"

For some reason, this guy's story made me think of that. Sad.
 

OVOvince

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so who was F*cking whos wife in the a$$?

just kidding haha

but ya, that post scared the F*ck, err i mean freak out of me.

i too have dreams of being able to do charity like that and help the less privileged when i am in a position of power with wealth and without.

as i read that i also thought of me being 50 and looking back and not having done a single thing.

reminds me of that Disney movie "Up" in a way.... :(
 

FeaRxUnLeAsHeD

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I find it so pathetic when people use their age, or the amount of years in the past they've wasted, as an excuse to 'give up' and not try any further. You try til you're dead. That's what makes greatness.

My dad does this shit all the time. "I'm 58 i'm not going to change, ill never be rich" - Yep, because you don't put in the effort, or want to be.
Then he'll go on to say "The Kentucky Fried Chicken founder started when he was 60.. maybe there is hope"
Then he reverts back to "ill never be rich but we did okay" lol..

Pathetic.

This guy on reddit too. Come on man. The only action you've taken is to whine on reddit. What is that going to change? If he really cared about his book, or backpacking, he'd have done it. No excuses, you find a way. Nobody put a gun to his head to take a job 9-7 either.

He can find another job
He can write his book on his lunch break
He can figure out how to SURVIVE without the job with low expenses
He could travel and make ends meet while he did what he wanted to do
He could start a business and work on it on the 7th day, evenings, or lunch break

What has he done? Apparently just 9-7 every day and that's it. No excuses. "I gotta make my dinner that takes me an hour from 7-8" - Make your damn meals all on one night during the week so you have the extra hour each night to do something productive.

There are no excuses. People who find them don't want it bad enough.
 
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Mattie

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I find it so pathetic when people use their age, or the amount of years in the past they've wasted, as an excuse to 'give up' and not try any further. You try til you're dead. That's what makes greatness.

Age is my biggest pet peeve. Age is another box with limits. The biggest excuse people use in life why they can't do something, or someone will never do something because they're to young or two old.

I used to think it was funny that a 70 year old sat in a few of my classes for college. I'm not sure why he was there, but I thought it was cool. He didn't let his age stop him from learning something. And new another 80 year old woman that never graduated from high school and went back regardless of her age. A 112 year old woman sat down in front of me and couldn't read anymore, but she memorized the notes and keys, she played anyway perfectly.
 

FeaRxUnLeAsHeD

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Age is my biggest pet peeve. Age is another box with limits. The biggest excuse people use in life why they can't do something, or someone will never do something because they're to young or two old.

I used to think it was funny that a 70 year old sat in a few of my classes for college. I'm not sure why he was there, but I thought it was cool. He didn't let his age stop him from learning something. And new another 80 year old woman that never graduated from high school and went back regardless of her age. A 112 year old woman sat down in front of me and couldn't read anymore, but she memorized the notes and keys, she played anyway perfectly.

Age is a bullshit made up concept that we fool ourselves into believing is real. There is no past or future, there is just *NOW* - The earth just keeps turning and we exist in the NOW. Age is as much of a lie as the clock on your wall. We try to quantify things to conform with society. The clock represents the freaking sun and the movement of the earth. The numbers are fake and don't exist. Time doesn't exist, just as much as age doesnt exist.

I'm willing to bet we only quantify things like time and age so that we can conform to our cubicles at the right moment in the NOW, FOREVER.
And we make up 'age' so we can make the fake retirement and pension plan pitch when people decide to sell their NOW with the *HOPES* of sometime later being able to STOP.

When you think philosophical, you *LAUGH* at the fact that something like 'age' would stop you. When you go to work as a 40 year old male into a cubicle, your age is only relative to how many more freaking years of selling your soul until you can 'retire' , as you continue to know what moment in the NOW that you have to arrive at your cubicle and where to arrive in the ESSENCE OF SPACE to sell your soul.

Go live now, there IS NO TOMORROW.
 

Mattie

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Age is a bullshit made up concept that we fool ourselves into believing is real. There is no past or future, there is just *NOW* - The earth just keeps turning and we exist in the NOW. Age is as much of a lie as the clock on your wall. We try to quantify things to conform with society. The clock represents the freaking sun and the movement of the earth. The numbers are fake and don't exist. Time doesn't exist, just as much as age doesnt exist.

I'm willing to bet we only quantify things like time and age so that we can conform to our cubicles at the right moment in the NOW, FOREVER.
And we make up 'age' so we can make the fake retirement and pension plan pitch when people decide to sell their NOW with the *HOPES* of sometime later being able to STOP.

When you think philosophical, you *LAUGH* at the fact that something like 'age' would stop you. When you go to work as a 40 year old male into a cubicle, your age is only relative to how many more freaking years of selling your soul until you can 'retire' , as you continue to know what moment in the NOW that you have to arrive at your cubicle and where to arrive in the ESSENCE OF SPACE to sell your soul.

Go live now, there IS NO TOMORROW.


I agree with everything you said! :)
 
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Journey2Million$

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I'd rather not read any negative article where someone is whining and being very depressing.
I don't want anything to drag down my mental state. I'd rather just focus on positive things and keep hustling.
Colonel Sanders started KFC when he was around 60 yrs old (IIRC). Ray Croc started the
McDonalds chain when he was around 50.

I LOL when some ridiculous 27 yr old fool whines about being too old to succeed in anything.
I've seen that happen a bunch of times. They are so clueless.
 

mt_myke

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I'd rather not read any negative article where someone is whining and being very depressing.
I don't want anything to drag down my mental state. I'd rather just focus on positive things and keep hustling.
Colonel Sanders started KFC when he was around 60 yrs old (IIRC). Ray Croc started the
McDonalds chain when he was around 50.

I LOL when some ridiculous 27 yr old fool whines about being too old to succeed in anything.
I've seen that happen a bunch of times. They are so clueless.
Hey I wrote a post about this very thing!

https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/index.php?threads/56865/
 
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CJC3392

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Thanks for posting this... I literally want to print it out and post it on my wall so anytime I have any doubts about my actions I can look to this guy and see where I do NOT want to be!!!
 
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Ryllban

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I have never really understand guys/girl in their 20s (or later on for that matter) who wants to do something, but won't because society/family have expections on them. SO what? You want to become a screenwriter, a singer, a business owner, a painter...Just try it out?

I mean, forget the big cliche you only live once and think of what that really means instead. Yes, if you don't believe that you will be reborn, then you most likely will only live once. And are you going to let other people decide what to do with your one life? Are you letting people tell you when to eat? When to take a shit? When to do anything? Are you asking permission to live? How pathetic are you? Do you have any backbone?

I really believe that comfort is F*cking up a persons life. And sometimes to the extreme. Why be comfortable? gosh...

People in my life wanted me to study, get a good job and an nice apartment. What do I do? F*ck it, F*ck all the rules. I have around 1k cash in my pocket and I'm about to move to a new country in about 1 month, find some job and an apartment. I don't know how my life will turn out, but living by my own rules is the only rules I can live by.
 

airforsu

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Be careful, don't get caught up in optimism bias, because stories like this can happen to anyone, and just because you have an account on thefastlaneforum doesn't mean it won't happen to you.

I understand he really is acting like a sad sack of shit, but the message is still clear. You can either have "security" or you can take risks and and see what's given in return.

Unfortunately, he's spending his time and energy whining and complaining instead of brainstorming and doing.
 

Mikhail Joseph

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Thank you so much @masaldana2 for this eye opening post.

I will admit, I shed a tear after reading his post.. and some of the comments.

How miserable these people are and their regrets. I do not feel sorry for them as it was their choice to live their lives the same as everyone else.

What made me shed a tear is the fact I got punched in the face. I got punched in the face by realization.. I'm 22 this year, and whilst I have been making my own money and doing my own things not having a job, I've come to realize that I've wasted too much time, my effort honestly has been only 30% max, and whilst I am able to live and be comfy, afford my membership on this forum etc. I could be doing more, and the last thing I want is to be 40 years old and regretting everything.. losing who I am. That scares me so much and I really needed this post, so thank you for sharing this. I have a feeling I will be making a few changes now and begin to put in much more effort.

There's nothing worse to me than losing who I am, to be but a shell of who I once was.


I think a lot of people here can learn from this post and apply some life changes to make sure you don't end up like that.

Sadly, this is what kids my age work so hard at uni for.. This is brainwash at its finest, and I'm sorry if no one agrees with me. But University is a death trap and you will only end up like that.. I mean come on, 5 hours in your day is all he had left.. and them last 3 hours I guarantee he would be too mentally fu**ed to consider working on a fastlane business. At least in a mcjob, you still have a social life even if you're below the minimum wage.

I'd rather have a poor fulfilled life than a life of 100k + a year job as a lawyer or a banker killing away my precious hours.. So many poor people are much happier than the proclaimed "better off" people. I've come to learn that whilst they may look happy with their rented out cars and houses that they will be paying off until they die.. It's all just a mirage. ( I hope I used that word properly ).


Sorry for the rant guys, but seriously.. Take this threat seriously and make changes now if you have to, or you will end up like that.. A life of regret.
 
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RunWithIt

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beatgoezon

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THIS...

My biggest fear...
Bigger than death honestly...
Bigger than being physically tortured...

Being tortured mentally like THIS...
 

SteveO

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Hey guys found this on reddit.
Dat 9-5 can kill ya!


"TL:DR I realised I let procrastination and money stop me from pursuing my passions when I was younger, and now I am dead inside, old and tired."


http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2livoo/tifu_my_whole_life_my_regrets_as_a_46_year_old/
Man!!! I cannot relate....

If I was going to die today, it would be as if my entire life has been fulfilled. I feel as if there has been so much packed into the time I have spent here and that there are not many people that have had some of the opportunities that I have had.

Now... there are many, many things that I have not done. That is not my point. I have done and continue to do WHAT I WANT. That is actually the mantra that my wife and I use... "I do what I want!!!" We have a funny voice that goes along with it. Some of our friends repeat it as a joke.

This is not selfish. I do things for others as well.... when I want to. :)
 
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GMSI7D

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Sad story, but is a reality for many men in the world. I have known a few friends in the same situation. Hell I wonder where did the time go for myself, lol. 40 years feels no different than 20.


Young guys that are aware of the sidewalk path that can stay focused are bound for success.

This story is a great motivator.


yes

but i don't believe that a lot of young people will succeed anyway.

Why ?

Because we live in the first multi tasking and over communicated society.

https://www.google.fr/webhp?sourcei...1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=over communicated society


People can't live without checking their cellphone every 2 minutes.

TV, the internet, radios, smartphones , entertainments and so on are the ennemies of Focus.

My point is without real focus, you cannot do anything important in life.
 

Shaheelm

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So sad to read. Not only did he waste so much of his life, also that his woman cheated on him. He must feel alone
 

Kelly C

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Man!!! I cannot relate....

If I was going to die today, it would be as if my entire life has been fulfilled. I feel as if there has been so much packed into the time I have spent here and that there are not many people that have had some of the opportunities that I have had.

Now... there are many, many things that I have not done. That is not my point. I have done and continue to do WHAT I WANT. That is actually the mantra that my wife and I use... "I do what I want!!!" We have a funny voice that goes along with it. Some of our friends repeat it as a joke.

This is not selfish. I do things for others as well.... when I want to. :)
 

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